The great Henry David Thoreau once said: “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” For Ricky Williams, it was deeper than football itself. Masking mental health issues for years brought out the worst in him early on during his rocky NFL career. Lack of awareness, while trying to be a professional athlete transitioning from college. This is a journey which included many obstacles to overcome and live up being what the sports media expected Ricky to be?
Ricky was one of college football’s greats while attending the University of Texas. In an era where running backs were valued in building around, he was taking the world by storm. “Texas Tornado” as Ricky was named for being the best running back in college football. A combination of speed, power and physicality were traits you can’t teach. To say he was a diamond in the rough, Ricky was just scratching the surface. Texas had found their next running back with teammate Priest Holmes out with an injury, this was Ricky’s backfield.
Ricky became a star overnight by the time his junior year began. Texas was back in business and the accolades with national attention on him. Heisman votes, winning the Doak Walker Award and a unanimous All-American. By his senior year, he was playing on a $2.8 million dollar insurance policy to protect him in case of a serious injury and his draft stock were to fall. Texas did right by Ricky, since he opted to return for a remarkable senior year. Winning the Heisman Trophy, just about every college football award known to man. He was well on his way to becoming an all-time great college football running back. Having his jersey retired and a statue on the grounds next to fellow alumni running back Earl Campbell. All seemed to be well…but…Ricky’s overnight success felt like a movie and fame came with a price.
As Ricky started his NFL career, being the fifth pick overall in the 1999 NFL draft by New Orleans, the real Ricky Williams became public interest. It was a rocky start and adjusting to being an adult with millions of dollars became a bigger issue. Going from the comfort of Austin, Texas to New Orleans, Louisiana was a big step. Being around people he didn’t know made him feel out of place. For a young man who knew the sport, but having to deal with more media in his space became overwhelming. The signs were written early on, but nobody took time to read them.
Ricky wasn’t equipped with the right people to help him navigate differently in pro football. His contract came with public criticism due to how much money was guaranteed. Signing with rap mogul and New Orleans native Master P, who had launched No Limit Sports, making Ricky his first athlete. His agent Leland Harland negotiated a 7 year/$11.1 million dollars with most of it heavily incentive laden. $8.4 million signing bonus with salary incentives potentially up to $68.4 million if he hit all the incentives. In return, it was a complete disaster and led to Ricky firing Harland and cutting ties with No Limit Sports. Ricky went on to say it was his idea to push for the contract to recoup what he did in college. Nevertheless, Head Coach Mike Ditka was fired in the process of a failed season with Ricky.
In the grand scheme of things, a change of scenery was needed and he was traded to the Miami Dolphins. What was supposed to be a homerun almost didn’t happen. The mental health issues were revealing and started to affect his persona. Noted for his dreadlocks, he shaved them off during a trip to Australia. Shyness made him appear like an oddball. Former Saints teammate Joe Horn: “People he wanted to deal with he did. And people he wanted to have nothing to do with, he didn’t. No one could understand that. I don’t think guys in the locker room could grasp that he wanted to be himself- you know quiet. If you didn’t understand and didn’t know what he was about, it always kept people in suspense.”
As the media grew curious with Ricky’s personality, he started to conduct post-game interviews with his helmet on with a tinted visor to avoid eye contact. Now, you may say: “that’s unprofessional and disrespectful.” For a young man who was battling an illness which wasn’t talked about, I can’t say I blame him. I would’ve done the same thing to avoid seeing what people were thinking. Later in his Miami tenure, he was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. People who suffer in silence don’t open up and this was due to the stigma of mental health in sports.
Failed drug tests led to an early retirement for Ricky during his first stint in Miami. Fines and being suspended on several occasions for violation of the substance abuse policy. While away, he studied Ayurveda, the ancient Indian system of holistic medicine at the California College of Ayurveda. Retiring early was one thing Ricky didn’t regret and considered it a positive thing. Finding himself became more important in understanding who he was which the media didn’t. Patients who struggle with social anxiety disorder will go to the limits to avoid societal input and gratification. The journey to healing was looking up for Ricky and another return to Miami in 2005.
In 2006, Ricky was suspended a full season for violating the substance abuse policy for a fourth time. Conflicting reports of rather it was marijuana or missing his test while away in India. Either way, missing a mandatory drug test is the same as failing one. There was some speculation that a certain herb was related to his interest in holistic medicine. As this ongoing battle was getting heavier for Ricky, finding safe alternatives became a bigger issue as far as testing was concerned by NFL league rules and bylaws. A simple herb cost him a yearlong suspension; no harm or cheating the game while dealing with his social anxiety disorder. Oh, the hypocrisy of the National Football League. *shrugs*
Going away to play in the CFL’s Toronto Argonauts was a blessing for Ricky. But… It drew the ire of former Argonauts quarterback Joe Theismann, yes that Joe who played for the Washington Commanders. Oh… how the irony of a former NFL quarterback who became disgraced to be associated with the team who’d sign an “addict.” But… The CFL had no substance abuse policy in place, nor did it keep teams signing suspended players from other leagues. Well… Well… Well… Let’s just cut to the real “hypocrisy” Joe failed to mention.
His own son Joe pleaded guilty in 2002 to a felony charge of drug possession; receiving a 10 year prison term and placed on 5 years probation. As the late Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight: “I thought my jokes were bad!” Yup, old man Joe had no room to talk about another man’s shortcomings when his own son was sent to prison for drug possession. Oh, how the jokes write themselves as everyone kept doubting Ricky’s anxiety issues. To call another man a drug addict and have one in your family is blasphemous. Two different men, different issues, and personalities. Ricky was embraced and adored in Toronto; it allowed him to see a different aspect of life. Not a lot of cameras in his face, people were nice, and he could be himself. This became a second home and an escape from the football career he had in the NFL.
Upon returning to Miami in 2008, he helped lead the Dolphins to a playoff appearance and winning the AFC East division. With a strict policy in place, he started to practice yoga and to stop using marijuana. Through trial and triumph, Ricky was more than just a football player; he was an imperfect human being who became the most unknown player with social anxiety disorder in a testosterone driven sport. Not a lot of players were candid about their issues, but Ricky led the way in that regard.
After retiring from football in 2011, Ricky became an advocate for marijuana use in helping players overcome mental health issues. Being very shy and dealing with anxiety, borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, which he struggled with his entire football career. Cannabis helped him cope with all of this, while maintaining his sanity and overall well-being. He launched a cannabis line “Highsman,” in curating and breaking the stigma of marijuana use in sports. A trailblazer in finding safer alternatives to help with mental health illnesses.
Ricky is immortalized in the College Football Hall of Fame; but does not have a buss in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Whether he gets his gold jacket or not, he’s in the Hall of Fame in life. To be the best running back in college to becoming a voice for marijuana is a gold jacket to most of us who battle mental health daily. The stigma around mental health has been on full display; but none of this would be possible without Ricky Williams. Thank you Ricky for your courage and willingness to be a voice. The impact he’s had post NFL will be a crowning achievement no matter what happened in the past. He won the “Heisman Trophy” in college football but winning the “Highsman Trophy” saved his life for the better.
Stai tuned…
