You Are Deathless: Nicole Kerr's Epic Journey To Find Truth

Welcome Nicole. 

Thank you so much Kathleen I am very grateful to be on your show today and look forward to our discussion together and hopefully help some of your audience well I'm really looking forward to our conversation as well but let's start with your journey of becoming an Awakening Spirit.

N: Wow you know I think I've always come into the world even when I was a baby I came in late I was three weeks late so there's part of me that really didn't want to come into this world. I think I knew what you said it's going to be filled with pain and suffering and I acknowledge that you know my whole adulthood has been filled with a lot of that in me trying to transform myself on this journey after having two actually near-death experiences.

I will tell your audience if you have an nde you come back transformed. Whether you believe it or not you are a different soul. You're more sensitive to energies, to toxins, to all kinds of things but you have a whole different perspective because you have been to the other side. You have an idea of what the other side is about and most of us did not want to come back including myself to Earth because we knew what was going to be in store on our journey in order for us to awaken our spirit and to move through the transformative layers and continue to move through them. 

I don't believe this is an ending Journey here for us in our human form. We're going to keep learning until we pass on so anybody that says they have it all figured out, I would tell you right now that's a red flag don't listen to them. yeah My big part of my Awakening Journey started at age 19. I went to a military academy. Congress had just authorized women to be admitted to the military academy in the first class graduated in 80 so my class was 1986. I was one of the Newbie women.

I have to tell you the only reason I was there was I am a recovering people pleaser. I was there to please my father. My father went to the academy. He was in the Marine Corps. He wanted one of his four kids to do it and I was desperate for his love and attention and affection and I thought if I could just get accepted and make it through the academy, he would love me and be so proud of me. Needless to say when I got accepted I was shocked because when I realized that now I had to go. What that meant and I had done nothing during my high school years to prepare me to go to a military academy.

I was a model. I ran a teen board. I did Junior Achievement. I took ballet. I mean I did all these things that are nonmilitary okay. I didn't like flying really that much you know in closed spaces so I was like Private Benjamin when I got out of there. I didn't know how to fire a pistol or more or less an M16 okay or 45. Boot camp was just a disaster for me. 

I was having such issues they put me in remedial training so it was difficult. I knew when I was there that I was in the wrong place and my soul was in the wrong place and yet I couldn't quit. Our family grew up Kathleen with this Mantra you do not fail and you do not quit and when you start something something you finish it.

The humiliation the embarrassment, the shame of quitting I couldn't endure it I just couldn't face it. I'd rather stay there and suffer through the quote hell I was being put through especially as a first degree or I mean as a fourth degree. All of us get hazed and there's just a lot of abuse and for women just add the sexual abuse component I mean I know it happens to men as well but it was very abusive environment. I somehow got through it and then my second year I went back and I was like I know I don't want to be here but I still couldn't quit. We were at the beginning of the year August 28th which was a Sunday evening at a kickoff Squadron event. 

Alcohol was being served and I got a ride home with a senior Cadet. He was the last to leave and needless to say he had a different agenda. I didn't know this guy hardly at all and I thought I was just getting a ride back from the park where we were at to the academy. He wanted to go have a couple more beers at a bar. He wanted to have a cigarette. He wanted to make out. 

I was raised very sheltered. I come from the south very religious very conservative but I had never even been on a date in high school so here I'm at school with 4,000 guys. My dad's rules were no smoking, no drinking, and no dating cadets. I.E no fun okay. 

I thought for the first time in my life I'm going to have some fun. I'm just gonna go with it. I had two beers. Oh my gosh and a cigarette at 19 okay. I'm being radical here and then when he wanted to make out I was like no this is not what I want to do. I got to get back to the academy. We have a deadline on our time and I don't want to get in trouble.

Needless to say when we pulled back on the road we were in a 1965 Corvette convertible. The last thing I remembered was pulling back onto the road and then I woke up in the ICU the next morning. I'm going to show the people a picture.

K: Oh my.

N: That's the Corvette convertible that's the passenger side.

K: And you survived that?

N: Yes and the sheriff even said that is unsurvivable. Now I survived it but because there was an angel at the scene that revived me. I was actually pronounced dead at the scene. There was a group of bystanders that heard the crash came out and took a look at the driver and myself. They couldn't get any vitals on me. They thought I was dead they went in and got a blanket covered me up called 911.

It was about 10 minutes before the First Responders got there so I was quote clinically dead they estimate anywhere from 10 to 13 minutes. When the EMTs got there, the one who is one of my many angels, John Harling, he pulled the the blanket back and he tried to get vitals on me. Couldn't so the last thing he did was a sternal knuckle press which for healthcare providers is designed to elicit pain in the body. The only thing that gave him an indication that I was still alive Kathleen was my right eye flinched and the pupil dilated out of my whole body that was it.

There's a saying our eyes are the window to our souls okay. At that moment my soul which had left me earlier when I flew out of the window windshield, I went butt up through the windshield I later recalled. I got stuck up in the air so to speak and at that moment an angel came down and took my soul and I went to the other side. The rest of my body fell to Earth because I knew when I was up there Frozen when I knew I was going to die and I remember calling out to God please help me. 

When my soul came back in, I had my experience on the other side but my soul came back in through that eye and as soon as John was able to see that, he realized there was some part of me that was still alive. They got masked pants on me pushed all the blood up to my heart. 

Then he was able to get a blood pressure of 60 over zero. Now if you know anything about blood pressure, that is still life and death when you're at that level. 120 over 80 is normal. They immediately got me into the ambulance and did CPR on me for 20 minutes to the nearest Community Hospital okay.

That is a long time to do CPR on somebody. When I got to the hospital they were just hoping to stabilize me that night and it took them all night to do that. I know this now because a my memory came back 20 years later and John came to see me. 

The EMT in the hospital about 10 weeks after it happened and told me what he remembered and then of course I've got the hospital records. I've got the District Attorney's reports. I went back 25 years later and interviewed my doctors and my EMT, my primary care nurse.

It's all part of my book because I do believe in angels. They come in many forms and these three happen to be in the human form because they were each quirky in their own way. John was a badass Navy Seal. He was not gonna let anybody tell them that I was dead. He was going to documented himself and he later won the Phoenix award in Colorado which is for First Responders who bring somebody who was pronounced clinically dead back to life.

I had multiple injuries, was in the hospital for four months, had a operation where they had to perform a colostomy and I coded on the operating room table. Code blue which means my heart stopped and they couldn't get it going again. 

They called the time of expiration and they went and told my parents who were praying in the chapel that Nicole had died and it was time to make funeral arrangements. Then two minutes later the surgical nurse runs into the chapel and said her heart just started going again.

I tried multiple times to leave this planet after I came back and my angel kept sending me back and I say my angel because I now know the angel that came and got me. In the book I call him Casper the Friendly Ghost but right after the book was published he revealed to me it was my grandfather on my paternal side.

Ironically the guy that was driving was an alcoholic. He had minimal damage and my grandfather when he was on Earth who died at age 58 from a massive heart attack, he was an alcoholic when he was on earth. Now that doesn't carry over to the other side what you did and who you were here.

He could see that I was in an abusive environment. He knew I didn't want to be here at the Academy. He knew I didn't know how to quit. It's a very harsh way to get out of something but I did and so I spent the next four months literally just going up and down.

Seven weeks in ICU just massive injuries. Lots of fractures. An amputated left foot that they grafted together. Broken wrist, broken pelvis, broken foot. A lot of infection that had set in from uh all the fiberglass, all the gravel, all the dirt, all the feces, all of that and wound up with septis and gangrene.

I was a really sick girl for a really long time. That was the physical part of it and then when I got discharged. The doctor said to my mother Nicole needs to see a psychologist, a psychiatrist. She has been through massive trauma and needs some help mentally. My mother looked at him and said Jesus is our psychologist. I want people to know that did not happen. 

Jesus never came down and sat on the sofa and said Nicole let's discuss your trauma here. As a result of not getting mental help soon after the car crash I wound up developing an eating disorder. It's now back then in the 80s it was called compulsive overeating. Today it's called binge eating disorder and that's a direct result of the trauma I went through and my body's inability to process it. It maladapts in a behavior and that's why it's so important for people that have trauma to get mental health help. Those that are diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, depression, to not just push it away and think it's going to get better because it didn't for me.

I lived with that eating disorder for 20 years and for any of you have had Eating Disorders, let me tell you it is very shame based. It's embarrassing, it's humiliating. You think that you're not going to binge the next day, you pray hard you do all these things and then your amydala kicks in, it's a survival thing, you get triggered. You're back to binging and then you hate yourself so at the core of it is self-hate and it took me such a long time to unwind from that part and then there's the spiritual.

K: Welcome back everyone this is the Journey of an Awakening Spirit I'm your host Kathleen Flanagan. We are here with Nicole Kerr and she just told us in one of the most amazing horrific stories I have ever heard in my life to go where she went to and this process. 

Nicole tell the audience what were the steps that you took to get you where you are today. Between an accident and not remembering for 20 years, now it makes sense of all the food that you took in and understanding that because when I read your profile, I wondered what food has to do with this death experience and now it makes perfect sense because you couldn't process it back then. Please tell us a little bit more about that and the unraveling of your remembering of your story of your accident.

N: Yeah I did go into dietetics and nutrition to try to fix myself. I didn't know anything else. I thought it really was a food issue and if I just knew how to eat then I would quit binging. Of course that's not true at all with eating disorders it's a it's a mental illness.

I will tell you the journey is still ongoing. I've had to uncover it in layers. I think if it all came back at one time I would wind up in the psychiatric unit to be honest with you. When my memory came back, I was going to work at the Centers for Disease Control control and it was like any other day. I stopped at Starbucks to get my coffee and then I all of a sudden remembered exactly how I was sitting in the car which made me now understand all the ways that my body got cut. Before I could never understand why I had cut my foot off and a fourth degree laceration in between my anus and fter muscle.

I just had some really weird cuts and I couldn't understand that. I was real clear I had one foot on the deck dashboard the other foot was cross-legged and by the way don't ever sit like that in the car. Keep your feet on the the the ground there.

Then my memory started unfolding. That's when I went to my chiropractor. I did not go to work. hH worked with me and he said Nicole these are repressed memories. Your body repressed them because you couldn't deal with the trauma and that's your body's way to keep you protected and safe.

That is true for a lot of things you'll find it happen very frequently with sexual abuse women or men don't remember for many many years and then something will trigger and it's usually when your body feels safe enough and you have the support and the resources to get help with the trauma. You cannot process all of this yourself. You do need someone else to help guide you through the process. 

There's many different ways to deal with trauma. PTSD and one of the ones that has really worked for me is I started out in cognitive behavioral therapy. Then I have gone through almost every eastern and western modality known to man. Everything from bio feedback to hypnosis to EMDR. 

NE worked with me which is neuro emotional technique that's a mindbody stressor technique that uses acupressure points and if we can just remember that our body remembers everything there's a great book out there on trauma called the body keeps the score by Dr Bessel Vander. I would suggest that your audience check that out if you're more interested in trauma and repressed memories and things like that.

I have had to deal, I'm a 100% disabled veteran. I have just gotten that 100% two years ago so that's 38 years into this journey working with the VA system. I tell you I have sympathy and empathy for all the veterans out there because it is a frustrating and stressful process and it adds if you're already anxious and having PTSD it adds to it.

Once I got the diagnosis with PTSD, I'd been misdiagnosed for 38 years with depression and anxiety, I finally was able to get the right treatment, the right medication to help, but prior to that I was misdiagnosed so many times and going down these paths that left me feeling hopeless and depressed and despairing.

I had to just keep trying the next thing and I will tell you I had to reconceptualize who God is in my life. I grew up um Southern Baptist and Lutheran so those are religions where God is presented as duel, God is really loving and Protective and it's going to be there for you. 

On one hand but there's rules to follow right not only the Ten Commandments but other rules every Church adds their own set of rules. If you're not living according to those rules or doctrines then something bad is going to happen to you. You're labeled a sinner. You’re going to hell. I'm going to tell people right now because people say is there a hell. Hell no okay that's all I can say.

There is not a hell. Hell is actually on Earth. It is these situations like the war over in the Middle East right now, living in those kind of conditions that is Hell okay. If you are struggling and you are homeless and you have a chronic illness, there are so many different ways that you can be living in Hell on this Earth, meaning that your life just feels like it's complete shit to be honest with you, there is no hell on the other side. When my memory came back what I remembered the only consistent thing I remembered was bright white lights. 

Dr Raymond Moody who coined the term near-death experience says that is the most common element or characteristic of all people who have near-death experiences. For me it really was this. I write in my book, I'm just going to read it. raise the brilliant white light flooded me from all sides. Streams of light cocooned me wrapping every part of my being in a crysalis of soothing waves instead of the pain of impact. I felt rocked and held but that was all I remembered about the accident for 19 years

I really did feel like I was an astronaut in outer space filled with awe and wonder. My own experience along with hundreds of thousands of other people who have had near-death experiences is that death is absolute beauty, light, loving kindness. This peace that passes all understanding. The colors on the other side are they're more than in the Crayola Color box. There's just such brilliance. The music we don't have. When I was over there in Soul form when my angel took me over to the other side, what I remembered was I could hear two Angels talking next to me and it it wasn't because I had ears it's you hear because it's vibrational and it's telepathy. 

They weren't talking English but somehow it gets translated back to English. They were saying to please ask your angels for help and I think this is something a lot of us forget to do. We all have at least one guardian angel that we are born with and given to watch over us. Some of us have more and some of us have a team of angels that all have specific functions. If you don't have a relationship with your angel or angels right now it's very easy to do. You just ask them for help and it can be as simple as a parking space. 

I know people laugh at me when I say that but if you ask for help they will give you answers. Now you have to remember it may not be the answer that you think you need it's going to be for your highest and greatest good which we don't always know what it's going to look like. I will also say the other message I was given on the other side was my angel told me that I was gonna go back and when he told me I was going back I was no I won’t. 

I could see my body in the ditch, my corpse, and I said I do not want to get back in that body because I know there's going to be pain and suffering. He said your message is to tell people not to be afraid of death. I'm are you kidding me that is such a big topic. Death is such a big topic and we are such a death denial society we don't think it's going to happen to us. We don't prepare for it. It's the only life transition Kathleen that we don't prepare for. We prepare for marriage, the birth of our children, going off to college, all of these major events but death.

Oh no it's too morbid. I can't talk about it. We have got to change the narrative around that and start talking about it and realizing it's part of life and to make sure that we're prepared. I will tell you I didn't think I was going to die at age 19 years old and I'm sure the little kids at Sandy Hook didn't think they were going to die. 

We never, never know when our last day on Earth is going to be. If we actually lived with that awareness, I believe we would be more present and we would live more meaningful kinder, loving, transformative lives and live in a deeper way. We'd be more present.

K: Oh yeah everything you said. I didn't have to have the death experience for everything you just said. I would go up into meditation and cry please don't bring me back because I don't want to come back. I had a life of of hell too. I have walked around saying what you have said there is no such thing as hell. We live in it here by what we think or how we act or how we respond to what's going on inside our environment. 

God loves us too much to even have a hell so I never believed in hell . I always knew there wasn't a hell. I also I have a gaggle of angels around me. I never forget I went to a psychic once and and she's and her eyes are like this, she's oh my God. She says how do you do this? I said oh welcome to my world. I knew she was for real because she heard every single one of them and had to ask them one at a time please. They were all talking at once because I apparently wasn't listening enough at the time.

I definitely ask my angels all the time, all the time for help. All the time. I've done the parking space because if you want to test it that's the perfect thing to test is please get me a parking space here and then watch it show up for you. Yes you think it's a joke but that's how I started to understand that angels really are there and they're going to accommodate you even if it is for a parking space. iI's a perfect way to do it.

N: Yeah and for me you can even get to know their names. I got a team of five and that reassures me. I am never alone and that is one of the ten common lessons that if we could learn these lessons here on Earth we would be at a much higher vibration. We would not be in the situation that we are in on this planet with the divisiveness, with the fear, with the judgment of others based on their race, their sex, all of these things that are polarizing us as people and destroying Mother Earth and ourselves and our relationships.

Like I said one of the 10 is we are not alone and when I say that I mean we have a whole spiritual realm that is available to us 24/7. We have to dial into it because we have something called free will. We get to make choices so we get to choose whether to ask them for help. 

I will say they will intervene on your behalf if it is a life and death situation like they did with me. They do zoom in for things like that so I want to tell the first one is we don't die and that is the message in my new book You Are Deathless. You don't need to be afraid of death because you don't die.

When you die, we all have an energy body. We're made up of energy that breath that keeps you alive that life force your Chi okay that energy body cracks open from the top down upon death and your soul leaves. That's what happened when I went through the windshield. My energy body cracked open, my Soul left me and the rest of the physical vessel of me dropped to the ground and splattered. 

That Soul part carried on to the other side had that conversation and came back in through my eye. The life force in me came back again and I got I started living again. It's important that we understand that our soul has many lives. This is not our first rodeo and part of the message is love.

We hear this from so many people and so many different sources but it is so hard for us to really get on a personal level because we have a hard time truly loving ourselves. We judge ourselves more than we love ourselves. Love really is all that matters. The source of all that exist and that is God. God on the other side is love. Pure no strings attached love. There's nowhere that God is not. You don't need an external anything to get to God because God is within you. You are an eternal spark of God.

K: Totally agree with everything that you said there. I totally agree with it and I know for me to get through whatever myself loathing was and how much I hated myself when I was younger had a lot of it had to do with the abuses in my life that I was unaware of. 

What I've told people and I tell people all the time is meditation. It was scary to do the first time. I did meditation because I thought oh God I'm gonna go inside I'm goona see this really God ugly horrible monsterous person that I am and that was the furthest from the truth. That was the furthest because what I discovered once I could get that mind chatter to stop was that I am somebody bigger. I am somebody great. I do have a reason and a purpose for being on this Earth. 

I have been guided my whole life. That's why I had a gaggle of angels around me was because I left my body. They pulled me out of my body when my mother came in and beat me as a child. They just disclosed that to me not too long ago. 

I'm oh my God this woman really was a monster and I didn't come back until my 50s okay. I just reread my third book that's coming out this month. I reread it so I could get my book Editor to write the back cover for me. I sat there and all I wanted to do was cry and wondered how did I survive? This is something that Spirit did and I want people to understand this because what you're saying is I know, I know what you're saying.

It was in 2012 I had finished the book in 2009 and I was going through all the editing process and spirit let me sit down and I was sitting on my front porch my eyes were wide open watching the movie. This was the movie of me and my Destiny character in my book who was me. She was in the hospital. She was so full of holes. Ger etheric body was full of holes. I'm talking like holes like this. They were working frantically to save me. I'm sitting here watching are you saying I almost died? Sid I really almost die? I couldn't wrap around that but when I read this book a week ago, I got it. 

I don't know how I survived because I was taking so many punches on an etheric level aside from a physical level. On an etheric level as well and if I had probably one or two more holes in my etheric body I would have been dead. It would have been a physical death and nobody would have been able to explain the death but it would have been there on an aetheric level because of what I was dealing with.

I knew that I was protected. I knew that I was being taken care of. I was fighting like hell. Oh my God I was fighting like hell to save my life. I didn't even know it until I finished that and it brought so many tears because at the same time my childhood was being revealed to me and my mother died at the same time. It was so much. Hopelessness, hopelessness and I know that's what you felt too. There's no doubt in my mind you felt that at times because you can't go through a tragedy to that degree and be okay. 

You have to find your way back and you have to find that Core Essence of who you are. Nicole I commend you for what you're doing and for what you're saying. This is why I bring this show here is because people need to hear this. People need to know we are more than what our governments and what Society tells us that we are. We are bigger. We are grander. Yeah we're going through hell right now but it's about us waking up.

The message that you're bringing is so profound because I can say I got mine through meditation. I have a very challenging life. I'll give you that. But so did you and you went through a death crisis and had to wait 20 years to bring it back.

The message that you're bringing that's why I wanted you on this show is because this is so profound it's more than just what I went through in my story. There's something to be said when somebody dies like you did a couple of times and then comes back to share a story and a message. You went through so much heartache and tragedy and pain and suffering just not just on a physical level but on a mental and emotional and a spiritual level. You were in crisis for a very, very, very long time. 

K: Welcome back everyone this is the Journey of an Awakening spirit and I'm Kathleen Flanagan your host and we're here with Nicole Kerr. I do not want this show to end in 20 minutes but that's what it's gonna be. 

Nicole let's talk briefly and I mean briefly is all we can have is about Soul loss I think is is what you said.

N: Yeah yeah but I just want to go back and say something to what you said earlier. Here's the deal, when we are born we all get spiritual amnesia. We have forgotten where we came from and who we are which are these infinite, powerful, limitless, radiant, glorious eternal meaning everlasting beings. 

That is who we are at our true core at our soul. Now something that came into my radar as I was healing and continue to heal was in 2019 I did some work with My Soul with a shaman and this is something that is maybe new to some of your listeners but like you, have a flesh wound, a physical wound, that has to to heal. We have mental wounds that have to heal with medication and therapy or both. We also have soul wounds and that is actually known as Soul loss.

When part of your soul fragments and the the reason that you may or may not be able to know if you have this is there's three symptoms. One you don't want to be here. Now I knew that from the beginning I did not want to come back okay. I knew my life was going to be filled with pain and suffering not only from a physical but I have ultra religious addictive family that are seeped in the the Bible.

I have my experience completely contradicts that belief system but also on the emotional and mental. The second one is this lowlevel consistent feeling that something is missing and it's interesting to note that a lot of compulsive behaviors and addictions actually fall into this statement. For me I can clearly see now how my binge eating disorder falls into this depression feeling because I was so empty. 

I didn't believe in that concept of God that I was raised with anymore but I didn't have the memory back yet to believe in this God that is filled with light and love and energy. That's the second. The third one is you can't get over its okay. That's what I realized for me is I kept I had labeled myself as sick. I would use that card, the sick card, to get out of jail card free kind of thing. I would use a sick when I couldn't use my voice and didn't want to do something. Instead of being able to say no I choose not to do this especially with my family that was the only excuse they would accept is Nicole's sick she can't come.

I felt stuck with my chronic health conditions. I was hyper vigilant about keeping myself safe and that is an illusion that you think you can control your surroundings and keep yourself safe. I didn't care I was going to drive everywhere. I was going to try to be in control and so I wish I would have known this earlier Kathleen that neglecting these hurt fragmented parts of your soul and going on with life just leads to things like depression.

That it's a very real wound and that you can use a shaman to help work with soul retrieval. You can use hypnotherapy. You can call back these Soul parts yourself if you know how to do that. It's a very powerful healing tool that works. What we are dealing with here is that spiritual hidden realm and I'm here to tell you it's a very real thing. tThat was in 2019 and I noticed my healing started accelerating after all those fragmented parts were pulled back in because I was wide open in disassociating that whole previous time.

K: I'm yeah, I'm textbook what you just said textbook. I think when I went out to Chicago in 2008 and I decided I wanted to be a better person and I was on the mission because the Archangel Ariel had told me to go out there and write a book and I had no idea what the book was about. I had all these different ideas of what the book was about but as the journey unfolded it was like I have no idea. 

Then I told them it was too big and they were crazy they had the wrong person and yet here I did I got the books out and it's taken a long time to get the books out but the thing is is when I reread the book last week where I was in 2008 and 2009 when I was writing this is where the world is today so I was in a hell 20 years ahead of time okay but that was why I was writing the book.

I'm a way shower, to show people how to move out of that that's why the show is here is because I am here this is what Spirit did they made me break my hand last year so I could stop moving long enough to get the email instead of ignoring come on to our show I was like well I'm intrigued. 

I mean the producer kept saying it's not a coincidence it was like very much a coincidence. There was no coincidences in the world he just figured this was natural and no this was divinely done and it's for people like you and all my other guests that I have brought out on the show with me. 

That is why we're here today doing what we're doing to help this planet ascend and come back into remembrance of who they are. Nicole I know we only have about five minutes left so tell us how we can get a hold of you.

N: Okay well I will tell you first of all I closed my practice earlier this year uh I just couldn't handle the stress I'm just going to be honest with you putting out a book it's now becoming a a national it is a national bestseller but I just couldn't do the ne and working with clients one-on-one anymore I'd been doing that for several years and I was told that it's time to shut that phase of my life down.

I was moving into the spiritual dimension of Wellness when you look at the wellness will but you can get my book here there go this way uh there you go you are deathless and I want you to look up there and you see that credential btdt do you know what that is?

K: uhuh been there done that.

N: Yep. I actually put it on my book and people are like what is that and I'm telling you it's like if you've been through an experience like we have that is that trumps any degree that you get okay I mean that's the experience of life.

I'm on Facebook. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Instagram. You can get me by going to my website www.nicolekerr.com. I will send you the first chapter for free.

I want my book to be read as part of a book club. The reason I want that and their book club questions in here is I want us to start this conversation about death. I will tell you if you have that as your book club book, you're going to get to know those members of your book club in an intimate way that you have never known them. It's something that is it is the only shared experience that we're all going to have. It used to be death in taxes and people found a way to get out of taxes I think so it's death. 

If you please promote it, if you like it as a book club read it, talk about it, this is what I want to start is the narrative to start changing. People start preparing for it and acting and knowing that where we're going is a better place and we have nothing to fear and if any religion is telling you to fear it then that is not of god.

K: Wow thank you Nicole. I really do appreciate you being here today and love to have you back and go on to something a little bit different than just this. We can branch off on so many different tangents on what you've been through. I really do appreciate you coming on today and I'm I hope you have a happy holiday season.

N: I do too and you Kathleen as well and thank your producer and your audio guy I appreciate you guys doing the work that you do as well.