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Oct. 8, 2024
Breaking Free: Lewis Crompton's Journey from Strict Faith to Personal Freedom
Lewis Crompton explores his transformative journey from a strict religious upbringing to discovering personal freedom and identity. The discussion dives deep into the psychological impacts of childhood trauma, the allure of religious certainty, and the empowering role of supportive communities. Lewis candidly shares his struggles and triumphs, offering invaluable lessons on resilience, self-discovery, and the creation of inclusive environments.
In this episode of "The Life Shift Podcast," Lewis Crompton explores his transformative journey from a strict religious upbringing to discovering personal freedom and identity. The discussion dives deep into the psychological impacts of childhood trauma, the allure of religious certainty, and the empowering role of supportive communities. Lewis candidly shares his struggles and triumphs, offering invaluable lessons on resilience, self-discovery, and the creation of inclusive environments.
The Complex Relationship Between Trauma and Religious Commitment: Lewis Crompton shares how suppressed childhood trauma often leads people to seek the psychological safety found in the black-and-white belief systems of a strict religious environment. This insight sheds light on the intricate connection between personal trauma and the desire for certainty that such religious structures offer, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the psychological underpinnings of religious commitment and an enlightened perspective on their own experiences.
Reclaiming Personal Freedom and Redefining Identity: Throughout the episode, Lewis reflects on his journey of breaking away from the confines of his religious upbringing. Through therapy and self-reflection, he uncovered suppressed memories and gained a clearer understanding of his behaviors. This journey towards self-awareness enabled him to redefine his identity outside of the religious context, emphasizing the importance of personal freedom in achieving authentic self-expression.
The Role of Community in Facilitating Personal Growth: Lewis emphasizes the crucial role of community in his ongoing journey of personal growth and healing. By fostering a supportive financial trading community, he has created a space where individuals feel psychologically safe and empowered. This aspect of his story highlights the transformative power of building inclusive and understanding environments where people can thrive and support each other.
Guest Bio:
Lewis Crompton is dedicated to helping 1 million families live with less stress and more fun through financial education and empowerment. He achieved financial freedom by trading financial markets over a decade ago, having been taught by Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad and later headhunted to teach for them. As a leading voice in the industry, Lewis champions safe, systematic, and profitable trading techniques. He developed the STARTrading Method, empowering individuals to trade efficiently in under 30 minutes daily, generating exceptional monthly returns.
Connect with Lewis Crompton:
Access a free masterclass from Lewis on trading and wealth creation: https://startradingnow.com/the-startrading-masterclass-podcast/
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Mentioned in this episode:
Thank you to Ear Worthy - Ear Worthy Independent Podcast Awards
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This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
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Chapters
00:00 - None
00:34 - None
00:34 - The Mission Begins
00:35 - The Path of Faith
01:11 - Embracing New Beliefs
01:25 - Internal Struggles
01:55 - Questioning Everything
23:47 - A Life-Altering Decision
31:57 - A New Chapter
39:58 - Building a New Life
43:40 - The Life Shift
49:18 - Reflecting on the Journey
Transcript
Lewis Crompton
Snowball effect, right?
Lewis Crompton
Because you get to that moment, it's not a passive or arbitrary thing or a small thing.
Lewis Crompton 2
It's a big deal to get to.
Lewis Crompton
That point, because for me, it was stepping away from ten years plus worth.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of relationships and friendships and people who.
Lewis Crompton
Felt like family, like truly felt like family, knowing that there was going to be a big time rejection and I'd.
Lewis Crompton 2
Have to step away, I'd have to give up my ordination, I wouldn't be.
Lewis Crompton
Able to help people the way I was helping people.
Lewis Crompton 2
I'd lose income from what I was.
Lewis Crompton
Doing there as well.
Lewis Crompton
There was all these kind of other.
Lewis Crompton 2
Factors that I had to bear in mind before making my decision.
Lewis Crompton
You start to realize that a lot.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of what you'd kind of been told about the world, so non christians just isn't quite true.
Lewis Crompton
And so all these kind of things.
Lewis Crompton 2
I had believed started to not make sense or ring true anymore.
Lewis Crompton
And I was dealing with my own sexuality.
Lewis Crompton 2
When I say dealing with it, just.
Lewis Crompton
Kinda kind of coming to terms with it, trying to experience it, figure out what it was.
Lewis Crompton
Was this just the devil trying to attack me, take me out the equation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
Lewis Crompton
Or was this actually who I was?
Lewis Crompton
And it got to the point where I was fasting, so stopping myself eating, I was crying myself to sleep at night because I just wanted God to change who I was.
Lewis Crompton
Going through conversion therapy, having people try.
Lewis Crompton 2
To cast demons out of me, all of this sort of stuff to try.
Lewis Crompton
And get rid of this gay thing.
Lewis Crompton
And there was one moment I was staying at my parents house, and I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Cried myself to sleep the night before.
Lewis Crompton
I got up in the morning.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
This week's guest is Lewis Crompton.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
He is truly a remarkable individual who's kind of transformed his life from this really strict religious community that he loved to a journey of personal freedom and self discovery.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
In this conversation, we talk about his life experience, moving into this rigid belief system and fully embracing that environment and feeling like he was doing great work and helping so many people, and how he was able to fully embrace his identity, moving out of that space and into a new version of his life, really, truly, maybe for the first time, feeling like he was living with full authenticity and full freedom in who he was.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
Intertwined within his story, Lewis shares how he built this supportive financial trading community and a space where individuals are really, truly empowered to achieve financial freedom and personal growth and building that community together.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
So whether you're navigating your path or simply seeking inspiration, I think Louis's story will resonate with you.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
I really enjoyed this candid conversation with Lewis Crompton, and I hope you do, too.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
So, without further ado, here is my conversation with Lewis Crompton.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is the life shift.
Narrator/Interviewer (unknown name)
Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that.
Matt Gilhooly
Have changed lives forever.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello, my friends.
Matt Gilhooly
Welcome to the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
I am here with Lewis.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello, Lewis.
Lewis Crompton
Hello.
Lewis Crompton
Hello.
Lewis Crompton
Thank you for having me.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, thank you for joining.
Matt Gilhooly
We were talking a little bit before recording, and I'm always just so honored that people that I've never met are willing to have a personal conversation on the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
And really, the goal is that there's someone out there, or there are multiple someones out there, that maybe feel alone in their circumstances.
Matt Gilhooly
And by hearing people's stories and how they overcame certain things, or how they found the internal fire to do whatever they may do, those kind of things make them feel a little less alone, and then they can kind of move through those moments.
Matt Gilhooly
And it's really my goal.
Matt Gilhooly
So, thank you for just wanting to be a part of this experiment that I'm doing.
Lewis Crompton
It's a pleasure.
Lewis Crompton
It really is.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, just for anyone listening, if you haven't heard the show before, it's the first time listening because Louis is on.
Matt Gilhooly
Welcome.
Matt Gilhooly
But also, this show stems from my own personal experience.
Matt Gilhooly
When I was eight years old, my mom was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Matt Gilhooly
And at that moment in time, my parents were divorced, lived multiple states apartheid.
Matt Gilhooly
I was visiting my dad.
Matt Gilhooly
My dad had to sit me down and tell me that that happened.
Matt Gilhooly
And at that moment, everything in my life was changed.
Matt Gilhooly
I lived with my mom full time, so I was going to have to move to a different state, live with my father, go to a different school.
Matt Gilhooly
Life was going to be quite different.
Matt Gilhooly
And it was the time period when a lot of people weren't talking about mental health.
Matt Gilhooly
They weren't talking about a grieving eight year old child.
Matt Gilhooly
They were just like, let's push it under the rug.
Matt Gilhooly
He will adapt.
Matt Gilhooly
He'll go forward.
Matt Gilhooly
And in that time, in that time of grief, I really felt alone.
Matt Gilhooly
I felt like there was no one else out there that had a similar experience.
Matt Gilhooly
I think logically I knew, but I think emotionally, I felt very alone.
Matt Gilhooly
And so that's really why this show exists, because I want those other people, like I was mentioning, to feel less alone and know that there is hope, and then know that they're not the only person that's ever gone through something and overcome or move through.
Matt Gilhooly
So that is a little bit of why the Life Shift podcast exists.
Matt Gilhooly
It's just, I know a lot of people have lots of life shift moments, but that particular one really started everything for me.
Matt Gilhooly
So a little bit about that.
Matt Gilhooly
So, before we get into your story, Louis, maybe you can tell us a little bit about who you are 2024.
Matt Gilhooly
Like what?
Matt Gilhooly
What does your life look like these days?
Lewis Crompton 2
Well, I wish I was still 24.
Lewis Crompton
That'd be great.
Lewis Crompton
Unfortunately, I'm 35, so unfortunately it's still quite young, really, isn't it?
Lewis Crompton
So, not going to complain.
Lewis Crompton 2
So, I'm 35 years old, I live in the UK.
Lewis Crompton
Originally born and bred in London, I then left London.
Lewis Crompton
I mean, I've lived all over the.
Lewis Crompton 2
Place, traveled all over the place, lived in New York for a little bit.
Lewis Crompton
Of time as well, which chewed me.
Lewis Crompton 2
Up and spat me out.
Matt Gilhooly
And then probably not the only one.
Lewis Crompton
No, I don't think I am.
Lewis Crompton
And yet moved back to the UK, lived in north London for a bit, then end up in east London for a few years before deciding city life was not for me anymore.
Lewis Crompton 2
I wanted peace and quiet and space.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I moved into the middle of nowhere, in the countryside in the UK.
Lewis Crompton
And I love it.
Lewis Crompton 2
Absolutely love it.
Lewis Crompton
So, yes, 35 years old, living in the middle of nowhere.
Lewis Crompton 2
I run a company which empowers other.
Lewis Crompton
People with the ability to trade financial markets safely and profitably, using a methodology.
Lewis Crompton 2
That I kind of created over the past ten years of my own trading.
Lewis Crompton 2
That if they're UK based, is tax free, which we love.
Lewis Crompton 2
Unfortunately, in other parts of the world.
Lewis Crompton
It'S not tax free, but it does only take 30 minutes a day and.
Lewis Crompton 2
It'S low risk and high reward.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I absolutely love what I do.
Lewis Crompton
We've got a global community who are all just so supportive.
Lewis Crompton
They want to see each other do.
Lewis Crompton 2
Well, want to see each other succeeded.
Lewis Crompton
Seed and, yeah, just having a great time doing that.
Matt Gilhooly
That's awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you feel more like a business owner, a teacher or an investor?
Lewis Crompton 2
Oh, that's a brilliant question.
Lewis Crompton
Which one?
Lewis Crompton
I definitely feel when you run your.
Lewis Crompton 2
Own business, that you wear multiple hats every single day.
Lewis Crompton
I probably say I feel out of.
Lewis Crompton 2
All of those, the one I feel.
Lewis Crompton
The least like as an investor, because the style of trading and investing I do is only 30 minutes a day, so I only have to have that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Hat on for 30 minutes.
Lewis Crompton
So I probably lean more into teacher business owner slash someone just desperately trying.
Lewis Crompton 2
To keep the wheels on in every area of their life as best as they possibly can.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, you're not alone in that either.
Matt Gilhooly
I think there's a lot of people that are trying to do that.
Matt Gilhooly
But the way you describe it, it sounds like you really enjoy it.
Matt Gilhooly
And that, like, and I would imagine that the nice piece to that is that community that you've created and to know that you've created that and to, like, live in that and help people feel safe, financially safe or financially stable, I bet is a nice little extra reward for you.
Lewis Crompton
And I think definitely even this morning I woke up just really full of gratitude for the community.
Lewis Crompton
And I messaged them all, not individually, because that would take forever, but collectively.
Lewis Crompton 2
When you grow a community.
Lewis Crompton
Yes, I set it up.
Lewis Crompton
Yes, I'm technically the figurehead.
Lewis Crompton 2
I'm leading it all of those things.
Lewis Crompton
But you can't do it without good people.
Lewis Crompton
And they are such good people.
Lewis Crompton 2
Every single one of them brings something to the table, brings something to the.
Lewis Crompton
Equation, makes us who we are as a community.
Lewis Crompton
So, yes, sometimes I have to play the leader card of that's not acceptable.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is acceptable.
Lewis Crompton
Encourage the good behaviors, like manage the bad behaviors.
Lewis Crompton 2
And sometimes you get hate for that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Not necessary from within our community.
Lewis Crompton
But, yeah, it's definitely not always easy.
Lewis Crompton 2
It can be very, very stressful.
Lewis Crompton 2
It can end up being a lot of hours.
Lewis Crompton
But I do ultimately love what I do because what I do comes from.
Lewis Crompton 2
A sense of mission.
Lewis Crompton
It's not about the business making money.
Lewis Crompton 2
Although businesses have to make money to survive.
Lewis Crompton
It's about what the business does and.
Lewis Crompton 2
What it brings to people and what that community has empowered.
Lewis Crompton
And I want to pick up on.
Lewis Crompton 2
The word safety because that's something which.
Lewis Crompton
Is super important to me, to make.
Lewis Crompton 2
People feel safe, make them feel peaceful.
Lewis Crompton
Yes, we're teaching them financial skills, but within the community, we have to make.
Lewis Crompton 2
Them feel safe and comfortable.
Lewis Crompton
And that's why we behave the way we behave.
Lewis Crompton
We have a certain set of values that I hope allow people to feel safe and brave, to try to do things, to share things, which I suppose.
Lewis Crompton 2
All comes down to psychological safety as well as financial safety.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, it sounds like you're providing that.
Matt Gilhooly
And I think that sometimes we lean into that more based on our own personal experiences or times when we didn't feel safe or we didn't feel like we belonged.
Matt Gilhooly
And I think I talked to a lot of people that have created communities because of situations in their own lives.
Matt Gilhooly
So curious to see if, as we talk today, if part of your life story kind of maybe planted those seeds along the way to do what you do.
Matt Gilhooly
So before we get into, or as we get into it, maybe you can kind of paint the picture of what your life was like leading up to kind of the moment that we're going to talk about today, this life shift moment.
Matt Gilhooly
And you can go back as far as you need to.
Matt Gilhooly
Orlando, as close to the moment as you need to.
Matt Gilhooly
Whatever helps paint that picture.
Lewis Crompton 2
Sure.
Lewis Crompton
So I'll see how far I go back.
Lewis Crompton
So it was a cold, windy evening.
Lewis Crompton
No, I won't go back quite that far.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I feel like I've lived a.
Lewis Crompton 2
Lot of lives in 35 years.
Lewis Crompton 2
When I was growing.
Lewis Crompton 2
I grew up in north London.
Lewis Crompton
My parents were wonderful people, they were both teachers.
Lewis Crompton
So it stands to reason that I've ended up in a teaching world context, just very different to standard education, but.
Lewis Crompton 2
Still very much teaching and coaching and helping people.
Lewis Crompton 2
They would take me to the local.
Lewis Crompton
Church in order to get into local primary school.
Lewis Crompton
That's kind of what you had to do.
Lewis Crompton
But we weren't a particularly religious family.
Lewis Crompton
We didn't say prayers at home, we didn't say grace before we ate or anything like that.
Lewis Crompton
We weren't.
Lewis Crompton
We were christian by name and that was pretty much it.
Lewis Crompton 2
I do think my dad kind of has a bit of a faith, more.
Lewis Crompton
So than my mum, but very much kind of personal faith and wasn't really talked about.
Lewis Crompton
But we would go to church.
Lewis Crompton
It was a good place for me to be looked after on a Sunday.
Lewis Crompton 2
Morning so they didn't have to look after me.
Lewis Crompton 2
And in the summer holidays I used.
Lewis Crompton
To go on church camps as well, which, again, a good way for my parents to have a bit of time off during their summer holidays because they're both teachers as well without having to look after me.
Matt Gilhooly
It's kind of an expected journey.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, were a lot of people, like in your community also just going to church?
Matt Gilhooly
Because that's just like what everyone did.
Matt Gilhooly
It was not like drawn to it.
Lewis Crompton
Exactly.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I think a lot of religions.
Lewis Crompton 2
Are kind of similar.
Lewis Crompton
There's the cultural element of it and there's the faith element of it.
Lewis Crompton
And so I would say culturally, we.
Lewis Crompton 2
Were probably christian versus being hardcore faith involved in Christianity.
Lewis Crompton
But then as I kind of went into my teen years, I started to latch onto those faith elements more and more and more for myself, kind of at the concern, to be honest, of my parents, who weren't particularly that hardcore in their faith.
Lewis Crompton
I ended up doing things like street evangelism, faith healings, prophetic stuff, which is basically the christian word for psychic stuff.
Lewis Crompton 2
And getting more and more involved, heavily, heavily involved in a very spiritual side.
Lewis Crompton
Of it, which meant everything became very black and white.
Lewis Crompton
Right.
Lewis Crompton
Or wrong.
Lewis Crompton
You're either making space for God or making space for the devil, that kind of thing.
Matt Gilhooly
And you were naturally drawn to this?
Lewis Crompton 2
Very naturally drawn to it, yeah.
Lewis Crompton
I do think I'm.
Lewis Crompton
I'm a fairly spiritual person, and I'll explain what happened when I was 18, which opened up other doors of understanding for me.
Lewis Crompton 2
So, when I was 1819, I trained.
Lewis Crompton
As a counselor within the church.
Lewis Crompton
And there's part of that process where you get your own counselor, your own therapy, and you learn to identify certain concerns that people may have or certain.
Lewis Crompton 2
Problems that people may be facing through.
Lewis Crompton
These questionnaires that you give them before you start a session with them.
Lewis Crompton
And as I was practicing filling out.
Lewis Crompton 2
The form for one of my sessions.
Lewis Crompton
I realized I was ticking a lot of certain boxes that, when those boxes were explained to me, highlighted the fact that there was potentially childhood trauma that had happened that I just wasn't aware of.
Lewis Crompton
So all the suppressed memory kind of thing.
Lewis Crompton 2
And the reason I go into that is because as those memories started to come out and I started to learn.
Lewis Crompton
More about trauma and the things that happened to me as well.
Lewis Crompton 2
One of the things I learned about.
Lewis Crompton
Trauma is that it makes you want.
Lewis Crompton 2
To seek psychological safety in black and white.
Lewis Crompton 2
So you have super clear boundaries.
Lewis Crompton
Super clear.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is safe.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is not safe.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is acceptable.
Lewis Crompton
This is not acceptable.
Lewis Crompton
And that boundary line that was drawn.
Lewis Crompton 2
For me within the church became very attractive because I didn't have to find that psychological safety for myself.
Lewis Crompton
Here was an organization with a lot.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of very loving, very nice people that.
Lewis Crompton
I respected telling me, this is safe.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is not safe, this is good, this is bad.
Lewis Crompton
And so it was very easy and.
Lewis Crompton 2
Natural for me to buy into that.
Lewis Crompton
Because my brain was so, without me knowing, seeking that psychological safety.
Matt Gilhooly
So fascinating to, like, think back and be able to reflect on that and unpack things and realize that, because I don't think a lot of people do or take the time to.
Matt Gilhooly
It's interesting, too, you gravitate towards that also.
Matt Gilhooly
I think someone might, because society also deemed churches, like, the safe, good thing to do, right?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it was just seen in society, like, a church can't be bad.
Matt Gilhooly
And so therefore, we kind of feel safe there naturally because of that kind of assumption, I guess, when in reality, any place can be bad and any place can be good and good bad people can be inside of all of those places.
Matt Gilhooly
But I think we kind of naturally, especially if we had trauma and don't maybe not realize it anymore or we've suppressed it enough, you kind of naturally gravitate towards that.
Matt Gilhooly
So that's so fascinating that you went there, but I've never really heard anyone say the black and white piece about that, which is really interesting to hear.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, it is.
Lewis Crompton
I read a book called the body keeps the school brilliant book, and I basically wept the whole way through it.
Lewis Crompton 2
Because I was like, this is me just identifying all these behaviors that I.
Lewis Crompton
Had, all these kind of self beliefs.
Lewis Crompton 2
Or self perceptions that I had, which actually all rooted in trauma.
Lewis Crompton 2
I was like, oh, okay, this is.
Lewis Crompton
Something I need to deal with.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I had been dealing with it.
Lewis Crompton
And working on it from that point, but it was such a brilliant book for helping me see, okay, this is why you're experiencing this.
Lewis Crompton 2
This is how we can move away from it.
Lewis Crompton
And even that realization for my personality type is really tricky because I don't like looking at anything or using anything as an excuse for my behavior.
Lewis Crompton
I just want to get better or be better, which, funnily enough, is also a trauma response.
Lewis Crompton
So it was this kind of catch 22 for me.
Lewis Crompton
And he just.
Lewis Crompton 2
One of the very hard lessons was learning to be kind to myself in the midst of that process, and that process is not over.
Lewis Crompton
Definitely not.
Lewis Crompton
So still very much learning to operate.
Lewis Crompton 2
From a place of healthy behaviors, healthy responses, healthy reactions, versus unhealthy ones.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, you're not the only person in that circumstance.
Matt Gilhooly
I think also we're trained to want to fix things, and sometimes we can't fix things without unpacking other things to then understand those things and how we approach them.
Matt Gilhooly
It's.
Matt Gilhooly
You mentioned that in this journey of, in your teens, you were kind of holding on tight to this new world that you were part of, but your parents weren't so excited about that.
Matt Gilhooly
Was it mainly just because they weren't as faith based as maybe you were becoming, or were there other warning signs for them?
Lewis Crompton
I think there are other warning signs for them as well.
Lewis Crompton 2
So it was very much.
Lewis Crompton
And this I wouldn't really put down.
Lewis Crompton 2
To the fault of the church, or.
Lewis Crompton
At least the church community I was a part of, but it was very intense spiritually because I was deemed as quite gifted in that world.
Lewis Crompton
They wanted me to do more, lead more, teach more, speak more, do more coaching and counseling work, that type of.
Lewis Crompton 2
Thing, as it kind of progressed through the years.
Lewis Crompton
And so that would inevitably mean I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Didn'T spend as much time with my.
Lewis Crompton
Parents or spend much time with my family.
Lewis Crompton 2
I kind of had this whole world.
Lewis Crompton
That existed outside of them, which I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Didn'T really want to talk to them about, which I know is a fairly.
Lewis Crompton
Normal teenage thing, but a lot of.
Lewis Crompton 2
My behavior is probably quite strange.
Lewis Crompton
Like, I would go to America, 18 by myself to hang out with all these older christian people.
Lewis Crompton
And my parents just had no idea what was going on over there.
Lewis Crompton
Not that anything necessary was going on.
Lewis Crompton 2
That was that bad.
Matt Gilhooly
A lot of assumptions can be made, I would imagine, as parents.
Lewis Crompton
A lot of assumptions can be made.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton 2
And it wasn't all good from a.
Lewis Crompton
Psychological perspective or healthy perspective either, to me and who I was.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, and I think also, as we said, society said churches are good, but I think society also can say that there becomes this kind of mentality that, I don't want to use the word, but a group think that happens, and then people kind of get aligned there.
Matt Gilhooly
And I can imagine your parents are like, are we losing him?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, is he going in a path where we're not going to find him again?
Matt Gilhooly
Because now he's going to be in this space.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
So what?
Matt Gilhooly
So you kept going down that road?
Lewis Crompton
Kept going down that road, yeah.
Lewis Crompton
And it.
Lewis Crompton
It created a lot of separation between me and my parents because we weren't the same.
Lewis Crompton 2
We.
Lewis Crompton 2
I then was very religious and very.
Lewis Crompton
Spiritual and therefore felt very separate to them and then probably very separate to me as well.
Lewis Crompton
So I remember we went on holiday to Amsterdam once, and they just, middle.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of the day, wanted to walk through the red light district to have a.
Lewis Crompton
Look, just out of curiosity.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I absolutely point blank refused.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I went back to the hotel.
Lewis Crompton
I just wouldn't even entertain it because of the level of perceived purity and cleanliness spiritually, that I wanted to maintain, which that wasn't in alignment with.
Lewis Crompton
So just little things like that.
Lewis Crompton
I mean, it wasn't like it was middle of the night and there was things going on.
Lewis Crompton
I just didn't even want to walk.
Lewis Crompton 2
Through the area because I was so.
Lewis Crompton
Concerned about the spiritual energy that that area would hold.
Matt Gilhooly
Was it a fear that you were going to do something wrong?
Matt Gilhooly
Or was it like a true, I can't do that because it's bad.
Lewis Crompton
I don't think it was a fear.
Lewis Crompton
It was more of a, that's not a good thing to do, or I'm.
Lewis Crompton 2
Putting myself in a risky position spiritually.
Lewis Crompton
Not.
Lewis Crompton
Not from thinking I was going to do anything, but just the atmosphere, like kind of walking through tar.
Lewis Crompton 2
I didn't want to walk through spiritual.
Lewis Crompton
Tar by being in the wrong spiritual area.
Matt Gilhooly
Wow.
Matt Gilhooly
Building.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, I could see how that would separate.
Matt Gilhooly
I think.
Matt Gilhooly
I don't have a strong.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm not religious and I don't have a super strong faith, and so I always think of it from a different perspective, which sometimes gets me in trouble.
Matt Gilhooly
But it's so interesting to hear how dedicated you were.
Matt Gilhooly
And it just kept going, even though the people you probably love the most were kind of like, what's happening?
Matt Gilhooly
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
How do you move through that?
Matt Gilhooly
How do you keep that going without losing that?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, it's very tough, and it does cause separation in relationship.
Lewis Crompton
And within the church context, I was part of, that was kind of an expected thing to happen because you are different.
Lewis Crompton 2
You're separate.
Lewis Crompton
You're holy, which the word holy means.
Lewis Crompton 2
Set apart for God.
Lewis Crompton
Like, these are the things you're told.
Lewis Crompton
So you kind of expect to be.
Lewis Crompton 2
Separate from the world and not connected.
Lewis Crompton
In the same way.
Lewis Crompton
So it was just kind of part of the course, which, again, makes it sound potentially cult like.
Matt Gilhooly
You said it.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I know that.
Lewis Crompton
I knew that's the word you're avoiding, but it.
Lewis Crompton
I couldn't say it was a cult, but I can see why people make those parallels.
Lewis Crompton
I really can.
Lewis Crompton 2
And a lot of it is the.
Lewis Crompton
Group think, and it's not necessarily a particular leader, but the community creates this environment.
Lewis Crompton
There's certain beliefs within that community and environment that do very much lead to groupthink and not allow you to think.
Lewis Crompton 2
Outside of the context you're in.
Matt Gilhooly
Does that environment make you.
Matt Gilhooly
Does it give you bad feelings about your parents?
Matt Gilhooly
Bad's not the right word, but does it.
Matt Gilhooly
Does it make you feel like they're not, quote unquote, good enough because they're not doing certain things in the way that you believe that they should, or is that separate because they're your parents and your parents are your parents?
Lewis Crompton
I would say this is so nuanced.
Lewis Crompton 2
Depending on what religious group you're part of.
Lewis Crompton
For me, I don't think it was really that, but there was always the concern that they're not saved, quote unquote.
Lewis Crompton
So you're always kind of wanting them to be saved, to believe what you believe, to be able to go to heaven, all of that sort of stuff.
Lewis Crompton
So there is kind of those elements.
Lewis Crompton
If I'm honest, I don't really think I ever worried too much about whether or not my parents were going to.
Lewis Crompton 2
Be going to heaven or hell.
Lewis Crompton 2
I don't know why I didn't.
Lewis Crompton
I just didn't really think about it.
Lewis Crompton
Maybe just out of choice.
Lewis Crompton
I was, like, not going to think about that.
Lewis Crompton
But also, I think because my parents.
Lewis Crompton 2
Did kind of go to church every.
Lewis Crompton
Now and then, I was like, well, they kind of believe enough, so I maybe don't need to worry about that one.
Matt Gilhooly
There's a scale.
Matt Gilhooly
So how do you.
Matt Gilhooly
How do you just keep going down that road?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, is there a roadblock?
Matt Gilhooly
Is there, like, as I.
Matt Gilhooly
In my Netflix mind, it becomes like this snowball effect in which it just gets more intense.
Matt Gilhooly
More intense?
Matt Gilhooly
More intense.
Matt Gilhooly
Is that true, or do you just kind of navigate this world in that strong faith?
Lewis Crompton
It does kind of snowball, I think so.
Lewis Crompton 2
For me, it snowballed to the point.
Lewis Crompton
Over the years where, in my early twenties, I end up becoming ordained in.
Lewis Crompton 2
The church in America.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I was an ordained pastor.
Lewis Crompton
I had a global business, we would.
Lewis Crompton 2
Call it a ministry, that was helping.
Lewis Crompton
People, coaching them, counseling them, helping them work through really difficult stuff, which, to be honest, I had no business helping them with.
Lewis Crompton
Yes, I do feel like I helped them in some way, some capacity, but.
Lewis Crompton 2
Very, very intense cases that someone who's.
Lewis Crompton
In their early twenties without much life experience, really, I did.
Lewis Crompton 2
I didn't have the emotional resources to handle that.
Lewis Crompton 2
All the emotional maturity.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, probably not good for you either.
Matt Gilhooly
In some way.
Matt Gilhooly
You probably absorb some of that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
So it wasn't really a healthy place to be, although I was, on the surface handling it and coping with it, it just kind of put a lot of pressure on things.
Lewis Crompton
And in my early twenties, that's when I think the cracks started to appear because of everything that I'd been hiding.
Lewis Crompton 2
From myself because of my faith and diminishing in myself because of my faith.
Lewis Crompton
And keeping myself within the boundaries of.
Lewis Crompton 2
The good and the bad and the.
Lewis Crompton
Black and the white.
Lewis Crompton 2
That's when it all started to kind of unravel.
Lewis Crompton
Was in my early twenties.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Because do you feel you were creating a person that everyone expected you to be because of that?
Matt Gilhooly
Or do you think you were still kind of you, you were just hiding or pushing down?
Matt Gilhooly
I guess I should say things that maybe didn't fit in that.
Matt Gilhooly
That maybe narrower view.
Lewis Crompton 2
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
I think I very much felt like me, to be honest.
Matt Gilhooly
Okay.
Matt Gilhooly
But not all of you.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you weren't sharing all of you.
Lewis Crompton 2
Not all of me.
Matt Gilhooly
Okay.
Lewis Crompton
But I've.
Lewis Crompton
Again, it's like when you hang out with certain friends, they bring out a.
Lewis Crompton 2
Certain part of your personality, other friends.
Lewis Crompton
A different part of your personality.
Lewis Crompton
It's not.
Lewis Crompton
It's not you being a different person.
Lewis Crompton
It's just they allow you to reflect back to them certain aspects of who you are.
Lewis Crompton 2
Like, certain humor goes down better with certain friends than with other friends.
Lewis Crompton 2
It doesn't mean you're changing as a person.
Lewis Crompton
They just bring out those different elements of you.
Lewis Crompton 2
So.
Lewis Crompton
And I feel like within the church, I was.
Lewis Crompton
I was so on a mission to help people then.
Lewis Crompton 2
Still, I'm on a mission to help people, just in a different way, in a different context.
Lewis Crompton
But I was so on a mission to help people.
Lewis Crompton 2
That was the core of me from.
Lewis Crompton
The age of 1819.
Lewis Crompton 2
It's why I trained as a counselor.
Lewis Crompton
I just wanted to make people's lives better.
Lewis Crompton
And when you're in the church world.
Lewis Crompton 2
And you believe that there is a.
Lewis Crompton
God, you believe that there is a devil, you do feel like you're in.
Lewis Crompton 2
This epic, cosmic battle for good and.
Lewis Crompton
Evil, and that is so rapturing, to use phrase, but it's so consuming and it's so empowering that you just drive forward.
Lewis Crompton 2
You drive forward, you drive forward.
Lewis Crompton 2
Even on the difficult days, even when you feel like you're fighting a battle that you can't win, you just keep going.
Lewis Crompton 2
You keep going because you're so consumed by this desire and this mission that.
Lewis Crompton
Is so much bigger than you and.
Lewis Crompton 2
Bigger than your troubles, bigger than your problems, bigger than whatever you're going through.
Lewis Crompton 2
That is the big thing.
Lewis Crompton 2
That is the important thing.
Lewis Crompton 2
And so I just felt so consumed.
Lewis Crompton
By this mission that it was very easy to neglect myself.
Lewis Crompton
It was very easy to not think about myself too much or to not.
Lewis Crompton 2
Put myself in too high regard or.
Lewis Crompton
To worry about my own mental health.
Lewis Crompton 2
I didn't even think about mental health.
Lewis Crompton
Back then or think about who I was.
Lewis Crompton
And because of the puritan nature of that group that I was a part of, you weren't even meant to touch yourself.
Lewis Crompton
Definitely didn't look at inappropriate images on the Internet or anything like that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Didn't drink, didn't smoke.
Lewis Crompton
All of those things were.
Lewis Crompton 2
No, no, no.
Lewis Crompton
So all those natural parts of your.
Lewis Crompton 2
Self discovery and self development in your mid to late teens?
Lewis Crompton
I just had completely shut down, which is why I think, as this snowball effect built and built and built, it was in my early twenties that those things started to seep out and come out, and I was trying to then navigate those things in my early twenties whilst also trying to maintain my faith and trying to maintain my relationships within the church and trying to maintain this business that I built up as well.
Matt Gilhooly
Does it become like a game of, like, hiding or, like, when the crack started showing?
Matt Gilhooly
Does it become something where now, before you were living this one life, and now, like, there's just, like, splintered second element of you that you're not sharing with too many other people.
Matt Gilhooly
And I can imagine that.
Matt Gilhooly
Is that what happened?
Lewis Crompton
Oh, that.
Lewis Crompton 2
It definitely felt very splintered.
Lewis Crompton
And again, to layer on top of.
Lewis Crompton 2
This, during this phase, when I was.
Lewis Crompton
Working in retail and I started learning.
Lewis Crompton 2
How to trade after seven months, I.
Lewis Crompton
Left my job to trade full time.
Lewis Crompton
And it was when I was with that group of people, I was just.
Lewis Crompton 2
Having the best time.
Lewis Crompton
So I was traveling the world, going.
Lewis Crompton 2
To places I'd never even imagined I.
Lewis Crompton
Would go to, making good money from.
Lewis Crompton 2
My trading and then also from helping teach other people.
Lewis Crompton 2
When I was teaching for a different.
Lewis Crompton
Company, for rich dad education, I just had all this stuff going on while.
Matt Gilhooly
Also as part of the church piece, too.
Lewis Crompton
While still part of the church.
Lewis Crompton
It very much felt like I had these two.
Matt Gilhooly
Those are different groups.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
And started to feel like I didn't fit into either camp because I was still very much held so true to.
Lewis Crompton 2
My faith, so, so true to it.
Lewis Crompton
And belief in all of that.
Lewis Crompton
But then I had all this crazy freedom to no one see what I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Was doing, no one see what I was up to, to start exploring all these elements of myself I'd never let.
Lewis Crompton
Myself explore before, and then hating myself for exploring them at the same time.
Lewis Crompton
So both camps, I didn't really feel like I was fitting into or as.
Lewis Crompton 2
Hiding an element of who I was or downplaying an element of who I.
Lewis Crompton
Was to each of those groups in.
Matt Gilhooly
In that community, that church community.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you feel like you were the only one in this circumstance?
Matt Gilhooly
Or did.
Matt Gilhooly
Like.
Matt Gilhooly
Did you feel that other people were also having these splinters and having these cracks in their.
Matt Gilhooly
Their facades?
Matt Gilhooly
Or do you feel like you were just alone in that?
Lewis Crompton
I think there's a lot of people who are going through that.
Lewis Crompton
And I think particularly as I.
Lewis Crompton
My big life changing moment of deciding.
Lewis Crompton 2
To leave that community behind for the.
Lewis Crompton
Sake of my well being, mental well being, was post that.
Lewis Crompton 2
I started to realize how many cracks.
Lewis Crompton
There were in so many people's facades, especially when I would get hit up for sex by people from that world who probably shouldn't have been hitting me up for that type of thing, if we're honest.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, well.
Matt Gilhooly
Or should they have?
Matt Gilhooly
Because they're humans, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
I feel like sometimes we don't see the things that are in front of us because we choose not to.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, if you will, what made you.
Matt Gilhooly
Was there, like, a significant something that happened, that you were like, I'm done.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, yeah, I have to exit.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
And again, snowball effect.
Lewis Crompton 2
Right?
Lewis Crompton
Because you get to that moment, it's not a passive or arbitrary thing or a small thing.
Lewis Crompton 2
It's a big deal to get to.
Lewis Crompton
That point, because for me, it was stepping away from ten years plus worth.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of relationships and friendships and people who.
Lewis Crompton
Felt like family, like truly felt like family, knowing that there was going to be a big time rejection and I'd.
Lewis Crompton 2
Have to step away, I'd have to give up my ordination, I wouldn't be.
Lewis Crompton
Able to help people the way I was helping people.
Lewis Crompton
I'd lose income from what I was doing there as well.
Lewis Crompton
There was all these kind of other.
Lewis Crompton 2
Factors that I had to bear in mind before making my decision.
Lewis Crompton
And I think when I was working.
Lewis Crompton 2
In retail and then traveling with this.
Lewis Crompton
Other group of people, you start to realize that a lot of what you'd.
Lewis Crompton 2
Kind of been told about the world.
Lewis Crompton 2
So non christians just isn't quite true.
Lewis Crompton 2
They are happy, they are content in their life, they have good, healthy relationships.
Lewis Crompton
They are loving, and I good and kind people, whereas I never really was told that was a thing outside of the church before.
Lewis Crompton
And so all these kind of things.
Lewis Crompton 2
I had believed started to not make.
Lewis Crompton
Sense or ring true anymore.
Lewis Crompton
And I was dealing with my own sexuality.
Lewis Crompton 2
When I say dealing with it, just.
Lewis Crompton
Kind of coming to terms with it, trying to experience it, figure out what it was.
Lewis Crompton
Was this just the devil trying to attack me, take me out the equation, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
Lewis Crompton
Or was this actually who I was?
Lewis Crompton
And it got to the point where I was fasting, so stopping myself eating, I was crying myself to sleep at night, because I just wanted God to change who I was.
Lewis Crompton
Going through conversion therapy, having people try to cast demons out of me, all.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of this sort of stuff to try.
Lewis Crompton
And get rid of this gay thing.
Lewis Crompton
And there was one moment I was staying at my parents house, and I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Cried myself to sleep.
Lewis Crompton
The night before I got up in the morning, my parents were out.
Lewis Crompton
I just went to the toilet, sat in the toilet.
Lewis Crompton 2
Not to be graphic, I'm not saying to do anything.
Lewis Crompton
I just was, like, exhausted.
Lewis Crompton
And we had this phrase in the.
Lewis Crompton 2
Church, which is always, count the cost.
Lewis Crompton
And I remember sitting there and I was praying.
Lewis Crompton
I was like, God, this doesn't make sense.
Lewis Crompton
If this is what you're asking from me, I can't do it.
Lewis Crompton 2
I'm counting the cost, and the cost is too much.
Lewis Crompton
I just can't do it.
Lewis Crompton
And that was the moment, sat there in my parents bathroom that I just said, I'm out.
Lewis Crompton
I've got to step away.
Lewis Crompton
I can't do this anymore.
Lewis Crompton 2
It doesn't make sense.
Lewis Crompton
To me that if God is real, that he would want me to be.
Lewis Crompton 2
This miserable for this long when I've.
Lewis Crompton
Tried everything I possibly can, like, done all the right things to not feel.
Lewis Crompton 2
This way, and yet I still do.
Matt Gilhooly
The right things, as we say.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Or what you were told the right things were.
Lewis Crompton 2
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
I can imagine.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, good for you, first of all, for coming to the place in which you were more important than helping anyone else and all the other things that you had become so happy doing.
Matt Gilhooly
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
Or telling yourself you were so happy doing.
Matt Gilhooly
And maybe in some cases you were.
Matt Gilhooly
But, like, for choosing you, because I think that's really hard for a lot of people, especially people that are service focused and have been told, this is what you need to do.
Matt Gilhooly
But at the same time, I can imagine how overwhelming that might be.
Matt Gilhooly
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
Because even though you had started splintering your life and you were doing this trading thing, does it feel like you've lost a huge portion of yourself when you make that decision?
Lewis Crompton 2
Big time?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Does everything unravel?
Matt Gilhooly
How do you move through when you feel like, now I'm half a person?
Matt Gilhooly
Because that's all I knew.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
I think the reality is, by the time I got to that point, I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Was already in such a constant state.
Lewis Crompton
Of feeling depressed, which had been going on for years.
Lewis Crompton
And it said that kind of depressed.
Lewis Crompton 2
Feeling was second nature.
Lewis Crompton
It was like, oh, this is.
Lewis Crompton
This is how I feel now.
Lewis Crompton
And I still think, if I'm honest, I've not.
Lewis Crompton
I've not broken out of that habit.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of feeling that way.
Lewis Crompton
Don't get me wrong.
Lewis Crompton 2
I don't feel depressed every day like I used to.
Lewis Crompton
But I can slip very easily into that type of emotion because there is.
Lewis Crompton 2
A grief that comes with that decision.
Lewis Crompton
And I think as you get older.
Lewis Crompton 2
You realize every decision you make isn't black and white.
Lewis Crompton 2
There's positive in every decision.
Lewis Crompton 2
There's negative in every decision.
Lewis Crompton 2
There's cost.
Lewis Crompton 2
Count the cost.
Lewis Crompton 2
There's cost in every single decision that we make.
Lewis Crompton
And that, at that point in my.
Lewis Crompton 2
Life, was a massive cost.
Lewis Crompton
But I felt like I'd been paying.
Lewis Crompton 2
The cost of not making that decision every single day for years.
Lewis Crompton
And I just couldn't do that anymore.
Lewis Crompton 2
I just couldn't.
Lewis Crompton
So it felt like giving up a massive part of me, and I kind.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of shut down my spirituality, didn't engage.
Lewis Crompton
With it, couldn't engage with it for a really long time.
Lewis Crompton
And as the years have rolled on since then, I'm starting to reengage with.
Lewis Crompton 2
My spirituality, but kind of on my.
Lewis Crompton
Terms not on churchy terms or religious terms, but still wanting to engage with spirituality like I did before, which has.
Lewis Crompton 2
Been really fun and really healing, but.
Lewis Crompton
Also, to be honest, sometimes really triggering.
Lewis Crompton
And then I have to pull away for a bit because it just kind.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of brings up all this stuff.
Lewis Crompton
I was having a therapy session with.
Lewis Crompton 2
Somebody other day, kind of a bit.
Lewis Crompton
Holistic style of therapy, and really, really good.
Lewis Crompton 2
Had a couple of sessions, but I've decided not to continue with it because.
Lewis Crompton
It felt so similar to the type of therapy I used to give when I was in church.
Lewis Crompton
And so it's just I can't engage.
Lewis Crompton 2
At this stage in my journey.
Lewis Crompton
I can't engage with that type of.
Lewis Crompton 2
Healing process because it feels too similar.
Lewis Crompton
To what I used to do.
Lewis Crompton
So, yeah, there's all this.
Lewis Crompton 2
All this stuff that kind of comes.
Lewis Crompton
Up, even years on, which is just.
Lewis Crompton 2
An unraveling and trying to reestablish who.
Lewis Crompton
You are and what you're about now.
Matt Gilhooly
But it's nice to have that awareness.
Matt Gilhooly
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I feel like.
Matt Gilhooly
And that freedom to say no more.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it's probably easier now maybe, to say no to the things that aren't serving you in the way that they should or you feel like they should or that make you more comfortable.
Matt Gilhooly
Is that true?
Lewis Crompton 2
To be honest, I was super proud of myself that I said no to.
Lewis Crompton
Anymore because they were expecting that I was going to continue.
Lewis Crompton 2
My brain goes, but they're expecting it.
Lewis Crompton 2
I should give that to them.
Lewis Crompton
That's what they want.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I have to work really hard.
Lewis Crompton
Sometimes to be like, no, that's not what you want.
Lewis Crompton
Don't do it.
Lewis Crompton
But then you get all this stuff.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of shame and feeling like you're letting people down.
Lewis Crompton
So I've gotten a lot better at.
Lewis Crompton 2
Being able to say no because I.
Lewis Crompton
Could not say no before.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you feel like you were taught that in your space?
Matt Gilhooly
This is not about you, Louis.
Matt Gilhooly
This is about everyone else but you.
Lewis Crompton
I think there definitely is rhetoric and.
Lewis Crompton 2
Language to that nature.
Lewis Crompton
I don't think that was ever necessarily.
Lewis Crompton 2
Specifically said or communicated.
Lewis Crompton
I think that, for me, probably comes more as a trauma response from previous stuff and being a bit of a.
Matt Gilhooly
Peacemaker in general, which comes from trauma stuff.
Lewis Crompton
Exactly.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
So I just want to keep the peace, keep safe.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, but you have more awareness now.
Matt Gilhooly
So you know when you're being triggered in a space where that could be a trauma response, and now you know how to acknowledge that and move through it.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, yeah.
Lewis Crompton 2
I don't get it right all the.
Lewis Crompton
Time, and then I get frustrated because you're human.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I mean, I feel like when you were mentioning, you know, like, you get depressed and it's easy to fall.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, like, I think that's normal.
Matt Gilhooly
I think that's part of being human.
Matt Gilhooly
And I think sometimes society or we have absorb from society that we're only supposed to have certain emotions and, like, certain ones are bad and certain, you know, like, and I.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, you're gonna be sad, you're gonna be depressed, you're gonna be happy, you're gonna be angry, you're gonna be all the things because you're a fully formed human being, and hopefully you will have those things.
Matt Gilhooly
But the important pieces, especially in the way you're describing it, is that, like, when you do feel depressed or you feel those moments, you can acknowledge it and you can address it and you can work through it and not shame yourself for it.
Matt Gilhooly
And, you know, like, all the pieces that come with, with having the awareness is just so valuable because otherwise it's a mess.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it's really hard to live through.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
And if you don't acknowledge it, you can't move through it, and so then it becomes trapped, and that's not good for any of us.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Or you acknowledge it in, quote, unquote, the wrong way.
Matt Gilhooly
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
Like you.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, for me, it took me about 20 years to properly grieve my mom's death.
Matt Gilhooly
And I, for so long, I weaponized the depression or the grief that I had because it was a safety thing for me.
Matt Gilhooly
It was like, well, if I use it in this way, I'm protecting myself because I didn't have the awareness yet.
Matt Gilhooly
It took me, like, a long time to kind of realize that that eight year old version of me was making all the rules until I had my breakthrough in my early thirties.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like, looking back on it now, I'm like, wow.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I wasted a lot of time, but at the same time, I didn't know better.
Matt Gilhooly
I didn't have that awareness that we're speaking of.
Matt Gilhooly
And it just.
Matt Gilhooly
I just didn't understand the real value of, like, acknowledging it and being okay with it and then moving through it and moving past it.
Matt Gilhooly
So it can become messy.
Lewis Crompton 2
It can be.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
I think we all have child brains that we need to retrain as our.
Lewis Crompton 2
Adult versions to handle those things because.
Lewis Crompton
We didn't know any better at that age.
Lewis Crompton
And that's why our brains are trapped.
Lewis Crompton 2
In that emotional state and behave from that emotional state.
Lewis Crompton
But I'm not an expert on this, so I'm going to be quiet now.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's.
Matt Gilhooly
It's.
Matt Gilhooly
I think it's important to talk about, especially as guys.
Matt Gilhooly
I don't think that.
Matt Gilhooly
I think we're getting better at it.
Matt Gilhooly
I think in 2024, 2025, hopefully it'll get even better.
Matt Gilhooly
But people are talking about mental health.
Matt Gilhooly
They're talking about how we're feeling, and I.
Matt Gilhooly
We don't have to only be happy or mad.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, we can have all the emotions.
Matt Gilhooly
So I think that part of this conversation is super important and super valuable for other people to hear.
Matt Gilhooly
I am curious, though, about.
Matt Gilhooly
I won't.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, when you were sitting on the toilet and then you made your decision, what does life look like after that?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, what does that day look like for you?
Matt Gilhooly
What does that week look like for you?
Matt Gilhooly
How do you move into this version?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, it was tricky.
Lewis Crompton
So, in the days that followed, there was a lot of hard conversations that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Had to be had with people.
Lewis Crompton
And the reality of stepping away from the church didn't mean I was stepping truly into my identity at the same time, those.
Lewis Crompton
Those things weren't happening right together at the same time.
Lewis Crompton
It took probably about another year after that before I decided to tell my parents that I was.
Lewis Crompton
I was gay.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I didn't even do that.
Lewis Crompton
I came out as bi because I still wasn't even fully sure myself.
Lewis Crompton
I was like, I'm nothing.
Lewis Crompton 2
I've not experienced this part of myself.
Matt Gilhooly
And that was all shut down for years.
Lewis Crompton 2
Exactly.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
So then I did what any person who's been in a very restrictive organization.
Lewis Crompton 2
Would do is I then went a little bit wild.
Lewis Crompton
So I went out and kissed a lot of frogs and had a great time doing that.
Lewis Crompton
But doing that just brought all this.
Lewis Crompton 2
Stuff of shame up.
Lewis Crompton
So I had to start addressing that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Shame and figuring out all of that.
Lewis Crompton
Stuff as well, then end up in a relationship, which was really toxic.
Lewis Crompton
And I used to pin all of.
Lewis Crompton 2
That toxicity on him, and he was this, he was that.
Lewis Crompton
But the reality is, we both brought.
Lewis Crompton 2
Issues to the party and they didn't.
Lewis Crompton
Play nice with each other, so the.
Lewis Crompton 2
Environment became very toxic because both of the stuff we brought to the party.
Lewis Crompton
Then I was traveling a lot at.
Lewis Crompton 2
The time, moved to New York, like I said, which chewed me up and spat me out.
Lewis Crompton
So I was meant to stay there.
Lewis Crompton 2
For a lot longer than I did.
Lewis Crompton
But then I came back to the UK.
Lewis Crompton
When I came back to the UK, I end up in another relationship with.
Lewis Crompton 2
The guy that I'm now married to, which was a far healthier relationship from his side.
Lewis Crompton
I put him through hell the first six months as I continued to work through all my issues at his expense.
Lewis Crompton 2
And he stuck around.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I was like, ah, well, I.
Lewis Crompton
Stuck around for that.
Lewis Crompton
I can't get much worse, so may as well marry him.
Lewis Crompton
So we got married just over a year ago.
Lewis Crompton
So we've been married now for a year together for five.
Lewis Crompton
And yeah, yeah, it really has been a whirlwind of a journey from that perspective.
Lewis Crompton
And very early on when we were together is when I decided to, I stopped traveling so much in my old kind of world.
Lewis Crompton
And when I was doing a lot.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of speaking and teaching for rich dad.
Lewis Crompton
Internationally, that came with a lot of travel.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I didn't want to travel quite so much and I'd kind of developed.
Lewis Crompton
My own skills, my own system for trading and I wanted to start teaching that.
Lewis Crompton
So I thought, right, I'll stop traveling, I'll launch my own thing.
Lewis Crompton
And it just, that kind of just grew from there and there and there.
Lewis Crompton
And even through that I've had to learn lessons of boundaries.
Lewis Crompton
I'm not very good with them and yes, I want to help people, but they don't get the right to call me every night of the week and all of that sort of thing.
Lewis Crompton
I can turn my phone off and put it away, which I'm definitely still learning that lesson because I just want.
Lewis Crompton 2
To help people as much as I possibly can.
Lewis Crompton
And yeah, the business has just grown.
Lewis Crompton 2
And grown and grown.
Lewis Crompton
So now I'm very comfortable in who I am, very happy with who I am.
Lewis Crompton
Wouldn't want to change who I am at all.
Lewis Crompton 2
I know I'm a good person, putting.
Lewis Crompton
Good into the world, and I've got a very good relationship with lots of love, lots of freedom, lots of peace, lots of joy, all of that sort of stuff.
Lewis Crompton
And I still get to travel.
Lewis Crompton
So my other half is quite happy.
Lewis Crompton 2
For me to go away for the weekend by myself, that type of thing.
Lewis Crompton
Because that's always been who I am.
Lewis Crompton
I love going to a new city, getting lost in that city, just pottering around, not knowing where I am, just completely by myself.
Lewis Crompton
I really value alone time and even though im very much an extrovert, I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Need a lot of alone time to be the best extrovert that I can be.
Lewis Crompton 2
So traveling is a great way for me to kind of shut down and do that.
Lewis Crompton
And he lets me do that.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you think this life is as rich as it is now because of all those moments in which you were kind of stifling things and pushing things and focusing on other things.
Matt Gilhooly
Maybe we turn it into that is, you were focused on the mission, right?
Matt Gilhooly
You were not focused on Louis.
Matt Gilhooly
You were just focused on how Louis could fulfill the mission and continue that on.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you think that this version of your life now, this richness that you describe, is, somewhat weirdly, because of some of that?
Lewis Crompton 2
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
So I love that question, and this is why I love podcasts, because they feel like free therapy.
Lewis Crompton
And I.
Lewis Crompton
The reason I love that question is I'm still on a mission.
Lewis Crompton 2
I'm still obsessed.
Lewis Crompton
And the reason I love that question is it's made me realize that I've.
Lewis Crompton 2
Just transferred my mission and my behavioral patterns around that mission to what I do now.
Lewis Crompton
And I still don't really focus on.
Lewis Crompton 2
Lewis anywhere near as much I should do.
Lewis Crompton 2
And even saying those words out loud makes me feel like I'm doing something.
Lewis Crompton
Wrong, which is maybe partly why my business has grown.
Lewis Crompton
And I do.
Lewis Crompton
I'm a big fan of a little.
Lewis Crompton 2
Bit of obsession and focus on mission.
Lewis Crompton
And things like that.
Lewis Crompton
But I do think the richness of.
Lewis Crompton 2
My life, my understanding of how rich.
Lewis Crompton
My life is, the depth of my.
Lewis Crompton 2
Love and care and passion for other.
Lewis Crompton
People, all comes from the pain and.
Lewis Crompton 2
Difficulty I've been through in my life.
Lewis Crompton
And I don't think I've had as.
Lewis Crompton 2
Much pain and difficulty as other people.
Lewis Crompton
But that is true.
Lewis Crompton
But doesn't diminish what I've been through, either.
Lewis Crompton
And same for other people, doesn't diminish.
Lewis Crompton 2
What they've been through.
Lewis Crompton
So I like even things like my.
Lewis Crompton 2
Very bad relationship I had before my.
Lewis Crompton
Current relationship would not change it for the world because it made me a better human being.
Lewis Crompton 2
It made me a more understanding human being.
Lewis Crompton 2
It made me a more compassionate human being.
Lewis Crompton 2
And I can relate so much better.
Lewis Crompton
To so many more people because of.
Lewis Crompton 2
All the difficult things I've been through in my life.
Lewis Crompton
So, yeah, I definitely think I experienced richness of life more so now because of all of that stuff, so I.
Lewis Crompton 2
Wouldn'T change it for the world.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
You know what stuck me?
Matt Gilhooly
And you said, I still focused on the mission and not as much on you, but in the long time that I've known you, now it feels like this mission is more you and less of a mission that someone else dictated for you.
Matt Gilhooly
In a way, it feels like and so, and the same, maybe on the other side of the coin, is fulfilling.
Matt Gilhooly
This version of your mission is also focused on you in a way, because it's filling your heart with the things that you've decided to do, versus maybe what you decided to do, but it was in the guardrails of what someone else was giving you.
Matt Gilhooly
Now, you create the road, you create the guardrails, you create all the things.
Matt Gilhooly
This is your journey that you're making one day at a time.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, there's no path, right?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, no, it's true.
Lewis Crompton
And I think.
Lewis Crompton
I think what the difference is, because the mission has always been to change the world.
Lewis Crompton
If you bring it down to its.
Lewis Crompton 2
Basics, it's always been to change the.
Lewis Crompton
World, to make people's lives better, one person at a time.
Lewis Crompton
And how I do that may change.
Lewis Crompton 2
I think the difference is now I can do that fully inhabiting who I.
Lewis Crompton
Am and what I bring to the table.
Lewis Crompton
And the more I can inhabit who I am, the more I can be true to myself, the more I actually help people.
Lewis Crompton
And so that is a very exciting thing and also a very scary thing sometimes as well.
Lewis Crompton 2
So.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, right.
Matt Gilhooly
Because you don't have the path like the other version of your life.
Matt Gilhooly
There was, they could dictate exactly what you should do.
Matt Gilhooly
And in some way, this way, you get.
Matt Gilhooly
You get to create it.
Lewis Crompton 2
There's.
Matt Gilhooly
The next page is blank and you can do whatever you want with it.
Matt Gilhooly
But, you know, part this is going to sound like the non religious person that I am.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you think that mission to change the world, that version of your life in the church, doing what you were doing, do you think there were any things that you were doing because of the church that wasn't necessarily making things.
Lewis Crompton
Better is in front of people?
Matt Gilhooly
This is a terrible question.
Matt Gilhooly
But, yeah, like, in a way, do you feel that because maybe how you feel about religion now versus then, that what you were telling them wasn't necessarily what was serving them?
Matt Gilhooly
Say, a younger version of Louis knowing his identity and knowing who he truly was and wasn't able to be and you were coaching him in a way?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I think that's a brilliant question.
Lewis Crompton
I think the answer is, again, nuanced, because on a.
Matt Gilhooly
It's a terrible question.
Matt Gilhooly
I apologize, but it's not a terrible question.
Lewis Crompton
It's not a terrible question.
Lewis Crompton
The reality is people pick things that serve them.
Lewis Crompton
Whether that serves them in a healthy.
Lewis Crompton 2
Way or an unhealthy way, we choose those things.
Lewis Crompton
Like, everything that I did and went through in the church is an element.
Lewis Crompton 2
Of that I chose.
Lewis Crompton
And again, depending on the church context you're in, I was part of a.
Lewis Crompton 2
Very loving group of people.
Lewis Crompton
Everything they did to me, for me was because they loved me and they.
Lewis Crompton 2
Wanted the best for me.
Lewis Crompton 2
It's just their perception of best for me wasn't necessarily what was best for me.
Lewis Crompton
So I think very much like a.
Lewis Crompton 2
Parent who's trying to do the best thing for their child because they love.
Lewis Crompton
Them, they don't always make the right.
Lewis Crompton 2
Call, they don't always make the right choice.
Lewis Crompton 2
So I definitely think when I was.
Lewis Crompton
In that context, I probably did things.
Lewis Crompton 2
For people or encouraged people to do things for themselves, which probably weren't the.
Lewis Crompton
Best thing for them based on what I now believe.
Lewis Crompton
But back then, I completely believed it was.
Lewis Crompton
And I was saying that from a.
Lewis Crompton 2
Position of love, that was a great.
Matt Gilhooly
Answer to my super brief question.
Matt Gilhooly
But I think it's, you know, I think sometimes those of us that have a bad taste for certain things, we feel that way.
Matt Gilhooly
And I think that was a great example of how parents have the best intentions, but sometimes their best intention isn't what we actually needed at the time or when we look back on those things.
Matt Gilhooly
And so thank you for entertaining that question.
Matt Gilhooly
I didn't want it to sound terrible, but now when I go back and listen to it, I'm sure it will.
Matt Gilhooly
But I think it's just so lovely to see that, you know, the way you described your teenage years was with happiness and joy because you were leaning into something that you felt super passionate about.
Matt Gilhooly
But then when those cracks started showing and those kind of things, you were able to find, like, the hundred percent version of Louis and, like, do the things that you want to do.
Matt Gilhooly
And, I mean, how many people are that, quote, unquote, lucky to find and live in themselves in the way that they want to because they know what the other side was like?
Matt Gilhooly
Because I think a lot of us are kind of walking like we're sleepwalking in some cases.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, we don't really realize that we could be living bigger and louder and in the ways that we should.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you see it that way?
Lewis Crompton
Oh, totally.
Lewis Crompton
And I think I am always quite.
Lewis Crompton 2
Keen to not make decisions that will trap me anymore.
Lewis Crompton
So I know people who have made certain life choices who, that don't align with who they are, but those choices.
Lewis Crompton 2
Come with such heavy responsibilities, whether that's kids, wife, whatever it may be, that.
Lewis Crompton
They cannot and will not break that.
Lewis Crompton 2
Responsibility because they've also made that choice.
Lewis Crompton 2
And that is so honorable, but incredibly tough.
Lewis Crompton
Not sure I would be able to make the same choice, to be honest.
Lewis Crompton
So I.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I think there's a lot of that that goes on, definitely.
Matt Gilhooly
It's hard because some of those choices that you describe also affect other people.
Matt Gilhooly
But at the same time, if they're not honoring themselves, are they giving the best experience to those other people?
Matt Gilhooly
It's like this chicken or the egg kind of conundrum here in which we don't know what we don't know until we don't know or until we know.
Lewis Crompton
Whatever that might be.
Lewis Crompton
With situations like that, there's not really a right answer.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, this is not really a right answer.
Matt Gilhooly
And as far as I know, because I haven't been to the other side yet, but we only have one chance, right, until we figure out if we have another chance.
Matt Gilhooly
And so why not sit on that toilet and say, look, this is not serving me.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm just going to go back to that toilet reference.
Matt Gilhooly
Thank you for that.
Matt Gilhooly
But, you know, like, you sat there and you made a hard choice.
Matt Gilhooly
You made a really hard choice because of all the shame and the things that come from quitting something or leaving something or letting people down or all the things that we could talk ourselves out of doing it.
Matt Gilhooly
And you did.
Matt Gilhooly
You made the choice.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton
And it's.
Lewis Crompton
It is walking away from an idea full on identity and perception of who you are in a perceived future.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, exactly.
Lewis Crompton
In the hope of finding something else.
Lewis Crompton
That means you don't have to cry yourself to sleep every night, but it is.
Lewis Crompton 2
It is your whole identity.
Lewis Crompton
Like, that was everything that I was.
Lewis Crompton 2
That's everything I was known for.
Lewis Crompton 2
That's.
Lewis Crompton
That is who I.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah.
Lewis Crompton 2
That was my identity.
Lewis Crompton
And so stepping away from that was saying, I don't know who I am anymore because this is now all gone.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
How did your parents respond when you said you were stepping away from that?
Lewis Crompton 2
I don't think I told them, to be honest.
Matt Gilhooly
Okay.
Lewis Crompton 2
I don't think that was really part of the cr.
Lewis Crompton
I wasn't very close to my parents back then because of the separation that was caused.
Lewis Crompton
So I just didn't tell them.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Would you find a better relationship with them now because of you living in your fullness?
Lewis Crompton 2
100%.
Lewis Crompton
100%.
Matt Gilhooly
Would you walk by the red light district if you went on vacation with.
Lewis Crompton
Oh, I'd go and wave at the windows and everything.
Lewis Crompton 2
I'd have a great time.
Lewis Crompton 2
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
I love to kind of wrap these conversations up with a question, and I'm wondering if, like, this version of you now living in your fullness, this rich life that you've created for yourself in which you can do whatever you want to do, that serves other people but also serves you in the process, if you could go back to that Lewis that was crying himself to sleep every night and talking.
Matt Gilhooly
Is there anything you would want to say to him?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I think my.
Lewis Crompton
I always like to go with just.
Lewis Crompton 2
The first thing that comes to my head for these types of things rather than overthink it.
Lewis Crompton
But I think the only thing, I would either say nothing because I don't want to change my history or I would just say, keep going.
Lewis Crompton
That's probably.
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, those probably the only two options I'd go with.
Matt Gilhooly
And you know what?
Matt Gilhooly
I ask that question a lot just because I think it's interesting to think about.
Matt Gilhooly
But most people don't have an answer, and most people would not interfere because most people that I talk to have had the time of reflection and the time to look back.
Matt Gilhooly
Like you described all the pieces that you would not change because they made you this version of Lewis.
Matt Gilhooly
It's a very weird question for me.
Matt Gilhooly
Would I go back and change the accident that my knowing who I am now, I wouldn't be this version of me if all that struggle hadn't happened because of that one event.
Matt Gilhooly
And so it's a really hard question.
Matt Gilhooly
The one thing that a lot of people say is they would just give that person a hug because they just needed a hug, you know, to know that someone was listening, someone cared, someone was going to be there for them.
Matt Gilhooly
So, yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Thank you for sharing this story in this way.
Matt Gilhooly
I don't know if you plan to come on the show and talk about some of these things, but I think it's just so valuable because at the end of the day, there are people out there that feel just like you did, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
And maybe this will give them a little bit of a spark of like, oh, I can make the choices for myself that I really, truly feel deep down inside that I want to change.
Matt Gilhooly
No, it's awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
If people want to get in your circle, your orbit, not call you every day, because you don't need that.
Matt Gilhooly
You need to put your phone away.
Matt Gilhooly
But if they want to find you on socials or learn more about your company or anything like that, can you give us some of that information?
Lewis Crompton
Sure.
Lewis Crompton
So Instagram is a good place for me.
Lewis Crompton
So my Instagram handle, and I am.
Lewis Crompton 2
Blue ticked because there's a lot of.
Lewis Crompton
People who pretend to be me for some reason.
Lewis Crompton
So it's at with w I t h.
Lewis Crompton
Lewis Crumpton.
Lewis Crompton 2
L e w I s c r.
Lewis Crompton
O p t o n.
Lewis Crompton
Or you can go to www.
Lewis Crompton
Dot lewis crompton.com.
Lewis Crompton
and if you want to drop me an email, you can do that through there.
Matt Gilhooly
Awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, we'll have all that, those easy links for people in the show notes.
Matt Gilhooly
That way they can just click on it and do what they need to do.
Matt Gilhooly
But if something that Louis said today resonated with you, I'm sure he would love a little message about it.
Matt Gilhooly
To hear your story or maybe, you know, somebody in your life that needs to hear this story or needs to hear an example of a story that they might be experiencing in their, in themselves.
Matt Gilhooly
We'd love it if you would share this episode with them because I think the more we can build community like you do with your company, but just in general, the more that we're in community with each other, the more we can grow, the more we can learn, the more we can love all the things that come along with it.
Matt Gilhooly
So we would love for you to share however you're feeling, with whoever you're feeling it with.
Matt Gilhooly
If it resonates with you, reach out to Louis.
Matt Gilhooly
That would be awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
Would you be okay with that?
Lewis Crompton
Yeah, I'd love that.
Matt Gilhooly
Awesome.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, thank you again for sharing your story, sharing your personal journey to get to where you are.
Matt Gilhooly
I know we didn't talk much about your company, but they can find out about that.
Matt Gilhooly
This colors so much of someone's life, and I think that it's just so important to share.
Matt Gilhooly
So thank you for being willing to do so.
Lewis Crompton
Thanks for having me.
Matt Gilhooly
If you are listening and you enjoyed this, please do a little rating and review.
Matt Gilhooly
I would love that.
Matt Gilhooly
And that's all I'm going to say.
Matt Gilhooly
I'll be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
Thanks again, Louis.
Matt Gilhooly
For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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