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Oct. 15, 2024
The Power of Belief: How One Teacher Changed Kyle V. Robinson's Life Forever
Kyle V. Robinson's compelling narrative is a testament to the transformative power of mentorship and self-discovery amidst adversity. Growing up in a challenging environment, Kyle faced the dual burdens of an abusive stepfather and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. However, a turning point emerged during his high school years when he met Mr. Brady, a teacher who recognized Kyle's intelligence and potential. This pivotal moment provided Kyle with the much-needed affirmation that he was worthy of success and happiness, a belief that had long eluded him. Mr. Brady's encouragement became a driving force, motivating Kyle to confront his struggles and embrace the possibility of a brighter future.
Kyle V. Robinson's compelling narrative is a testament to the transformative power of mentorship and self-discovery amidst adversity. Growing up in a challenging environment, Kyle faced the dual burdens of an abusive stepfather and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. However, a turning point emerged during his high school years when he met Mr. Brady, a teacher who recognized Kyle's intelligence and potential. This pivotal moment provided Kyle with the much-needed affirmation that he was worthy of success and happiness, a belief that had long eluded him. Mr. Brady's encouragement became a driving force, motivating Kyle to confront his struggles and embrace the possibility of a brighter future.
Takeaways:
- Experiencing turbulent childhood challenges can shape one's view of self-worth and potential.
- Facing challenges head-on, like Kyle's decision to represent himself in court, can empower individuals.
- Regularly checking in with our inner child can facilitate healing and self-acceptance.
- Finding supportive communities and healthy friendships can significantly improve one's life trajectory.
Kyle's journey is marked by significant challenges, including expulsion from high school and a tumultuous relationship with substance use. However, his decision to enter drug rehab was a pivotal moment that allowed him to step away from negative influences and focus on rebuilding his life. Returning to school for a sixth year, he encountered further obstacles, including a wrongful arrest, but these experiences only fueled his determination to prove himself. Notably, his self-representation in court became a defining moment, reinforcing his belief in his capabilities and setting the stage for his eventual success in college.
Ultimately, Kyle's story is one of resilience, growth, and the quest for self-acceptance. Through his book, "Wandering Spark," he seeks to share his journey with others facing similar challenges, emphasizing that healing and growth are achievable. His experiences serve as a powerful reminder that our past does not define us; rather, it is our response to those experiences and the support we find along the way that shape our futures. Kyle's narrative invites readers to reflect on their own journeys, encouraging them to embrace their unique paths and find the strength to overcome.
KYLE V ROBINSON is a graduate of Kent State University and Western Michigan University Cooley Law School. Kyle, currently, resides in Ohio with his dog Booker. You can find him running on trails, at kylevrobinson.com and @kylevrobinson on all social media.
Resources: To listen in on more conversations about pivotal moments that changed lives forever, subscribe to "The Life Shift" on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate the show 5 stars and leave a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Chapters
00:00 - None
00:40 - None
01:42 - Introduction to Kyle's Journey
02:40 - In-School Suspension: A Catalyst for Change
06:10 - Facing Challenges and Finding Strength
11:35 - The Turning Point: A Desperate Decision
19:50 - The Legal Battle: Standing Up for Myself
22:20 - Graduation: A Milestone Achieved
30:40 - The Realization of Self-Worth
40:40 - Finding Purpose Through Running
42:20 - The Healing Power of Writing
01:00:40 - Conclusion: Embracing the Journey
Transcript
Kyle
When I went back to high school, they stuck me into something called in school suspension.
Kyle
That's where you sit inside a room.
Kyle
You can't talk, you can't leave.
Kyle
They bring all your assignments to you.
Kyle
You eat lunch in there.
Kyle
You get, like, two bathroom breaks that are chaperoned by the teacher.
Kyle
But as luck would have it, you can actually talk to the teacher that's in there.
Kyle
And the teacher in there, his name was Mister Brady, and he was the first male role model, actually took me aside, and he goes, because he got to know me.
Kyle
I was in his class for class in school suspension for my last senior year.
Kyle
And he told me that, you know, you could do something with your life, that you're smart, and that this actually, like, blew my mind.
Kyle
This is the first time that somebody took the time to tell me that, you know, you're.
Kyle
You're worth something, that you can actually do something with your life.
Kyle
And I was actually blown away because, like I said before, I thought all men were like, like the way my stepfather was.
Kyle
So I was like, amazed that this was going on.
Kyle
Like, I was like, oh, my God.
Kyle
And like, something inside, he, like, planted a seed inside and was like, maybe I can do something with my life.
Matt Gilhooly
Today's guest is Kyle v.
Matt Gilhooly
Robinson.
Matt Gilhooly
From a childhood really marked by challenges at home, poor role models, and just genuine struggle.
Matt Gilhooly
Kyle's story is definitely one of trying to prove oneself to an undeserving person, but really, truly, it's a long road of personal growth.
Matt Gilhooly
In this conversation, we explore those pivotal moments that really defined his path, focusing on the power of self awareness and truly the critical impact of finding positive role models, such as one teacher that he had in high school and someone he met a little later in life, Kyle opens up about the challenges that he faced, including navigating a turbulent home environment and the influence of a life changing teacher who believed in him.
Matt Gilhooly
This episode is not just about the trials, but also about the triumphs as Kyle reflects on the lessons learned and the strength gained through those experiences.
Matt Gilhooly
You hear me talk about this a lot in these episodes, about how some of the.
Matt Gilhooly
These really challenging moments, when we have the opportunity and space to reflect upon them, we can see the silver linings, and we can see the things that we've learned because of those challenging moments.
Matt Gilhooly
In my opinion, this conversation with Kyle is filled with hope and inspiration and really, that enduring spirit of growth.
Matt Gilhooly
So without further ado, here is my conversation with Kyle v.
Matt Gilhooly
Robinson.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is the life shift.
Matt Gilhooly
Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello, my friends.
Matt Gilhooly
Welcome to the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
I am here with Kyle.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello, Kyle.
Kyle
Hello, Matt.
Kyle
Thanks for having me.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, thank you for wanting to be a part of the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
I never really thought, maybe even five years ago, that I would have the opportunity to talk to so many people about these pivotal moments in their lives.
Matt Gilhooly
That has really changed everything.
Matt Gilhooly
So I'm just so honored that strangers essentially have come and wanted to share these conversations with me.
Kyle
Sure.
Kyle
I'm happy to be here and actually share my story and what changed me, how I got from where I was to where I am today.
Kyle
And it's pretty interesting.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, I think it's so valuable because the life shift podcast really stems from my own personal experience of feeling very alone in my circumstances.
Matt Gilhooly
When I was a kid, my mom died in a motorcycle accident and everything at that moment.
Matt Gilhooly
My parents were divorced, lived in different states, and everything changed in my life.
Matt Gilhooly
But it was also a time period where people weren't really talking about grief or mental health or any of those things, and I felt very alone, like I was the only person that ever had a parent die, and I didn't know how to navigate that world.
Matt Gilhooly
And so, really, when I started this, I was hoping that we could have these conversations where people out there listening might hear your story, might hear someone else's story, and feel a little less alone in their journey, and maybe feel a little hope or inspiration that they can move through that moment, become whatever they want to be or however that may look for them.
Matt Gilhooly
So, you know, like you said, your story has these changes, and it's changed you from before and after, and it's just, I know there's someone out there listening that will hear your story and go, okay, I'm not the only one to go through something like this.
Matt Gilhooly
So it's just such an honor.
Kyle
Right.
Kyle
And I think there's a couple life shifts that people go through, like some that they don't have control over, and then some maybe, that they do.
Kyle
And I don't know if you really differentiate between those.
Kyle
So I think some of my pivotal moments were some I didn't have any control over, and obviously it shifted my life.
Kyle
And then as you get older, things happen.
Kyle
You're like, oh, I do have control, and I could do something about it and move forward from there.
Kyle
So that's kind of the experience I had with my life.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
And you know what?
Matt Gilhooly
Going into this, I was a little bit naive, thinking, okay, yeah, one life shift changed everything.
Matt Gilhooly
And it's like, no, as humans, we encounter a lot of things, whether, like you said, these external factors that kind of knock us off our.
Matt Gilhooly
Knock us off our feet or throw us in the water or whatever that might be.
Matt Gilhooly
And people have these internal fires, which I didn't really understand for a long period of my life because I was in this fight or flight mode for decades, because I didn't process that grief.
Matt Gilhooly
And I didn't realize that I had as much power as I do to change my life until I finally got therapy and all those things that helped.
Matt Gilhooly
Oh, okay.
Matt Gilhooly
You can have your own fire, and you can have your own life shifts that you dictate.
Matt Gilhooly
So that's great point.
Kyle
I agree.
Kyle
And I think a little bit of that, too.
Kyle
Maybe subconsciously we're afraid to make those changes because you're scared of what's on the other side of that too, and come to certain realizations, for sure.
Matt Gilhooly
And for me, it was like I was afraid of taking any chance, because if there was a chance that I was going to fail in my eight year old mind that I carried with me, I thought my dad would also abandon me.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I felt like the death of a parent feels like at that age, it feels like abandonment.
Matt Gilhooly
And so it was always that fear cycle, like you described.
Matt Gilhooly
It's like, what could happen?
Matt Gilhooly
I don't know.
Matt Gilhooly
It could be bad, and I don't want to do it, so I'm glad I did it, but sure.
Kyle
So when I was younger, I didn't have a parent die, but something I did feel alone, because when I was four years old, my mother was recently divorced.
Kyle
And so we were.
Kyle
She was living as a single mom, me at four years old, and my older brother at six years old, and my younger sister at three years old.
Kyle
And one day we're just playing at my house.
Kyle
I'm upstairs playing around, and I hear the doorbell ring.
Kyle
And this is something that normally doesn't happen in our house.
Kyle
And I got really excited.
Kyle
So I run downstairs to see what's going on.
Kyle
And as soon as I get to the bottom of stairs, like, standing before me is a six foot three tall man with, like, a big brown bearden and bifocal glasses.
Kyle
And I'm just stunned, like, scared, like, looking at this intimidating figure.
Kyle
And my mom, who had answered the door, went to go get a glass of water or something like that.
Kyle
So it's just me and this intimidating figure.
Kyle
And I did what I thought any four year old would do.
Kyle
I just greeted him with, like, a little punch in the leg.
Kyle
And I giggled.
Kyle
And what this man did was he made a fist, too, and he punched little Kyle right in the stomach.
Kyle
And I keeled over, and I couldn't breathe.
Kyle
I couldn't scream out, and tears were rushing down my face.
Kyle
And so nobody heard.
Kyle
So what this man did, didn't try to comfort me, didn't try to do anything.
Kyle
He just walked around me into the kitchen, and I just scampered upstairs.
Kyle
And that was my first meeting with the man who eventually come my stepfather, Ben, or my sister.
Kyle
And I would later call him Triple B, big bad Ben.
Kyle
And that's kind of how my life.
Kyle
That's a big life shift that I didn't have control over.
Kyle
That's how my life started at four years old going on, you know, until I was, like, out of high school.
Matt Gilhooly
Wow.
Kyle
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
That really can shape someone.
Kyle
Sure.
Kyle
And so, as I got older, you know, I don't want to get in the grizzly details, but things didn't get easier for me, and there's, you know, sticks and things like that.
Kyle
But as I got into high school, I really started to rebel out.
Kyle
And also, one of the big problems, too, is my mom.
Kyle
You would think, well, didn't your mom do anything about this?
Kyle
And, like, the simple answer or the easy answer was no, because she was so.
Kyle
She thought it was very, very important for us to have a father in our lives, because my biological father was out of the picture, seemingly.
Kyle
He lived in Florida, and, you know, he sent checks on birthdays and Christmas, things like that, but he really wasn't in our lives.
Kyle
And so my mom was hell bent on getting a father for us, and she was excusing a lot of behavior, you know, thinking, like, boys will be boys and things like that.
Kyle
And as I was getting older and as I was growing up, through adolescence teenager, I thought this was love.
Kyle
I thought this is what a father was supposed to be.
Kyle
Like, I'm dead serious, man.
Kyle
I, like, I didn't.
Kyle
I really thought that.
Kyle
I thought all men.
Kyle
I thought all men's dads were like this at home.
Kyle
Like, I didn't know any better, so.
Kyle
And my mom was telling me, like, this is love.
Kyle
That, like, she even made us call him dad and, like, you know, tell him that we loved him, like, crazy stuff.
Kyle
And, like.
Kyle
And I thought this was completely normal growing up.
Kyle
I really did.
Matt Gilhooly
But it was open.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you guys.
Matt Gilhooly
Everyone was kind of, like.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it was a.
Matt Gilhooly
Everyone was aware that he was doing this to you guys well enough close family.
Kyle
So, like, you know, me and my brother and my sister, my mom.
Kyle
But, like, on the outside, my mom would pretend like that everything was okay, you know, everything's fine.
Kyle
And as a little kid, I didn't know it was wrong.
Kyle
Like, I thought it was normal.
Kyle
Like, I thought, like, hey, this guy's just a jerk.
Kyle
Get it?
Kyle
I'm supposed to love him.
Kyle
My mom tells me I'm supposed to love him.
Kyle
So this is the way it is.
Kyle
And then as I got older, like, in high school, I eventually started to rebel out a lot because I didn't know, because I thought I was the problem.
Kyle
I thought, you know, it was my fault.
Kyle
And so.
Kyle
And I didn't know who to turn to or what to do.
Kyle
So I got in fights all the time in high school.
Kyle
I started drinking a lot in high school.
Kyle
And eventually I got expelled from high school for, you know, for getting fights and not, like, skipping school.
Kyle
And so I had to repeat what, my junior year over again and again.
Kyle
My mom was, like, blaming me, and I couldn't fathom because all of my friends, my friends in high school, they were only my friends.
Kyle
I kind of gravitated to people that were not a good influence because I didn't think I deserved better.
Kyle
But I couldn't understand why they weren't getting kicked out of school.
Kyle
I couldn't understand why they weren't getting expelled.
Kyle
And it was because they didn't have the same home life I had, but I still couldn't realize it.
Kyle
So I was just so upset at myself because I knew I was smart and I couldn't understand what was going on.
Kyle
And so after I got expelled, I come back again for my fifth year, and I'm doing the same stuff, same things, getting advice, and I just want all this madness to stop.
Kyle
And so what I decided to do in the middle of class one day, I got a test back that I failed.
Kyle
And I was just so mad because I knew if I would have, like, applied myself, I would have been able to pass.
Kyle
And I was like, I'm just so sick of this.
Kyle
I need to do something about this.
Kyle
So what I did was I left school in the middle of the day, and I went to go turn myself into drug rehab as a 17 year old.
Kyle
And it wasn't like I was a drug addict.
Kyle
Obviously, I had problems with alcohol.
Kyle
I was just using it as an excuse, but I didn't know what else to do.
Kyle
I thought I was the problem.
Kyle
So how do I fix this problem?
Kyle
And so it's actually not really funny, but when I got there as a 17 year old, you just can't say, hey, here I am.
Kyle
I can turn myself in.
Kyle
You need to be court ordered or you have to have a parent or guardian turn you in.
Kyle
And so my mom, who actually worked in the building, it was a big hospital and they had a, you know, a drug rehab wing for juveniles.
Kyle
And I knew my mom worked in there.
Kyle
So they, she came down, she actually signed me in.
Kyle
And she was really relieved that I was actually doing something.
Kyle
Cause she wasn't about to admit that, you know, your stepfather was the problem or.
Kyle
And I'm not blaming him or, I mean, he's the reasonable on why a lot of these things happen.
Kyle
But we'll get to that part.
Kyle
When I had that realization.
Kyle
And so I'm in drug rehab and I actually felt safe at that moment.
Kyle
Cause I'm away from him.
Kyle
I'm away from my like bad influence friends.
Kyle
And so.
Kyle
But because I had to go to drug rehab, I had to spend.
Kyle
I missed another year of high school.
Kyle
So actually when I got out, I go back to high school now, Matt.
Kyle
I'm in my 6th year of high school.
Kyle
And this is one of the pivotal moments.
Kyle
Two amazing things actually happened when I went back to high school.
Kyle
When I went back to high school, they stuck me into something called in school suspension.
Kyle
That's where you sit inside a room.
Kyle
You can't talk, you can't leave.
Kyle
They bring all your assignments to you.
Kyle
You eat lunch in there.
Kyle
You get like two bathroom breaks that are chaperones, you know, by the, by the teacher.
Kyle
But as luck would have it, you can actually talk to the teacher that's in there.
Kyle
And the teacher in there, his name was Mister Brady and he was the first male role model actually took me aside and he goes, you know, because he got to know me.
Kyle
I was taught.
Kyle
I was in like his class for class in school suspension for my last senior year.
Kyle
And he told me that, you know, you could do something with your life, that you're smart and that this actually like blew my mind.
Kyle
This is the first time that somebody took the time to tell me that, you know, you're worth something, that you can actually do something with your life.
Kyle
And I was actually blown away because like I said before, I thought all men were like, like the way my stepfather was.
Kyle
So I was like amazed that this was going on.
Kyle
Like, I was like, oh my God.
Kyle
And like something inside he like put his, you know, planted a seed inside.
Kyle
He was like, maybe I can do something with my life.
Kyle
Not that I really, you know, as a 17, eight year old I didn't really take action at that moment, but it was so nice to have somebody believe him.
Kyle
Like, hey, somebody is in my corner.
Kyle
Like, somebody's there.
Matt Gilhooly
Is it hard for you to believe him?
Kyle
I knew that there was a little something inside of me, but no one's ever told me about it, so maybe I was just trying to convince myself, but it was nice to have a confirmation.
Kyle
Like, hey, you can do something with your life.
Kyle
You can do something.
Matt Gilhooly
So it's really interesting, though, because growing up and absorbing that for years upon years, I can see how someone might act out.
Matt Gilhooly
But also all along, it sounds like you still held on that thread of humanity and that, like, you were worth more than something.
Matt Gilhooly
Because I can't imagine someone that's acting out and going, like, really angry.
Matt Gilhooly
I guess kind of getting that anger out in a different way would then also have that self awareness that you had to go, I need to, like, fix this, and I don't think I can do it myself, and then go check, like, go try to check yourself into something like that.
Matt Gilhooly
So, like, that's a, that's a big thing that I don't think is that common.
Matt Gilhooly
I think it's just like, people that are in your circumstance that you were in, I almost imagine a lot of the people that I've talked to.
Matt Gilhooly
It's kind of like you just absorb that and then you just place the blame on everything else.
Matt Gilhooly
Nothing's your fault.
Matt Gilhooly
Where it sounds like you were taking some ownership of, like, I'm doing this, but I can't stop doing this.
Kyle
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
So that in itself is, like, super impressive.
Matt Gilhooly
Which then led me to ask you, like, I mean, I guess it makes sense why you would believe your teacher, but I think a lot of people be like, what are you talking about?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, no, I'm a mess.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, nobody cares.
Matt Gilhooly
My stepfather tells me every day that nobody cares.
Kyle
And I didn't have anybody else to go to.
Kyle
It's like, back then, I'm 46 now.
Kyle
So those teachers weren't looking for things that were going on and nobody was saying, hey, are you okay?
Kyle
You must be acting like this for some reason.
Matt Gilhooly
Nobody was talking about anything back then either.
Matt Gilhooly
This is what, like mid nineties, right, exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
Or like early mid nineties.
Matt Gilhooly
People weren't talking about, like, things going on at home.
Matt Gilhooly
People weren't talking about mental health stuff where, I mean, we're very similar in age.
Matt Gilhooly
So I.
Matt Gilhooly
Same thing with me.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, I didn't.
Matt Gilhooly
I got to my thirties when I realized all the things that were wrong with me.
Matt Gilhooly
So that's kind of why I'm commending you in this sense of, like, at 1617 you had this awareness of, like, something has to change and I think it's possible.
Kyle
Right.
Kyle
But also, so, I mean, not to get too out of my.
Kyle
I always thought it was external.
Kyle
Things needed to change, not really change inside myself.
Kyle
And also I was blaming myself for it.
Kyle
I still thought there was something wrong with me, so I had to fix me too.
Kyle
And that's what I wanted to do.
Kyle
Like, I didn't have the insight to, like, look inside.
Kyle
Okay, Kyle, who do you want to be?
Kyle
What do you want?
Kyle
I just wanted to change something like.
Kyle
And stop the madness.
Kyle
But yeah, and what, I guess I'm trying to take credit away from that, what you're trying to give me.
Kyle
But yeah, there was a little something inside me that wanted something more to my life and wanted something to change and wanted to be better.
Matt Gilhooly
You could have been 100% destructive.
Matt Gilhooly
You weren't 100% destructive.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, maybe you were a lot percent destructive, but there was something in you that was like, wait, you know, and maybe it was subconscious.
Matt Gilhooly
Maybe it was something you picked up from your mother, you know, like whatever it may be from other parties that are in your life.
Matt Gilhooly
But yeah, I think there's something to celebrate there just in itself because I think a lot of people that grew up in those circumstances will just ride that, unfortunately, because that's what they know and that's how it goes.
Matt Gilhooly
And it's just like, well, that's my life.
Matt Gilhooly
But you were, something was inching you and then, and I'm guessing that's probably what that teacher saw in you too.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, there is potential in this kid.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, he.
Matt Gilhooly
Something's wrong, but there's also potential.
Matt Gilhooly
So let me talk to him.
Matt Gilhooly
Right.
Kyle
And similar to you, I know how you had a teacher who changed your life and you reached out to her a while ago about, you know, recognizing you.
Kyle
I actually reached out to him a while ago too, and thanked him and he said, oh, of course I remember you.
Kyle
That's great.
Kyle
You're doing well and things like that.
Kyle
So it was nice to reconnect and let him know that he really changed my life a lot and he was just being him, that he wasn't trying like him.
Kyle
That's what is crazy.
Matt Gilhooly
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
Teachers, I mean, they're with us for so much of our lives, you know, when we're in the school day and they see so much that maybe those of us that had this home life that might have been tough, they see us, you know, in this other space, trying to, trying to do other things.
Matt Gilhooly
And same like you said, I reached out to my third grade teacher.
Matt Gilhooly
So I was eight, you know, when she met me, and she was trying to, like, help heal this little kid who was just so very lost.
Matt Gilhooly
And then, yeah, in my, I want to say I was in my thirties.
Matt Gilhooly
I reached back out to her, and I, like, she knew who I was.
Matt Gilhooly
She remembered things from the class.
Matt Gilhooly
And you're like, how do you do that?
Matt Gilhooly
You've just been teaching for, like, 30 something years.
Matt Gilhooly
So, I mean, there was something that must have stuck out because he also remembered you, which is, it was really impactful.
Kyle
It was really great.
Kyle
And so after he planted that seed in me when I wasn't hanging out in school suspension, they eventually left me out.
Kyle
And by this time, I'm, you know, 1819 years old, I'm in my 6th year of high school, and I'm still kind of, I want to keep my head down because I can't get in any trouble.
Kyle
Like, when I was a yde juvenile, you know, I got in trouble, arrested for fights and things like that.
Kyle
But now that I'm an adult, if I get arrested, like, I'll be go to serious jail.
Kyle
So.
Kyle
And I was deathly terrified of that.
Kyle
And so I'm trying to keep my head down, trying to be on the straight and narrow.
Kyle
But one day, I guess I was making fun of the wrong person, just having a smart mouth, and I was messing with the wrong kid outside of school one day, and he wanted to fight me.
Kyle
And I'm trying to tell him, no, no, no, I don't want to fight.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
Hey, he could probably beat me up for sure and be, I didn't want to get in any trouble.
Kyle
So I'm trying to get away from him, but before I can get away from him, there's a huge crowd around us, about 150 kids.
Kyle
This kid is, like, trying to grab at me.
Kyle
I'm just, like, running around in circle, and before I know it, I'm grabbed out of the circle of kids, and I'm arrested, and I'm arrested for, like, assault, disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, and now I'm going to, like, real jail.
Kyle
I'm in real trouble, even though I didn't even do anything wrong.
Kyle
And so my mom won't give me a lawyer because she doesn't believe that I didn't do anything wrong from my past and anything like that.
Kyle
And so what I decided to do is I was like, I know I didn't do anything wrong.
Kyle
So what I'm going to do is, you know what I'm going to do.
Kyle
I'm going to represent myself.
Kyle
And so what happens is we're in, and I'm fast forwarding through a lot of things, but it's fine.
Kyle
What happens is we're in court one day is just me, the prosecutor, the judge, and then the arresting officer, and court starts, and the prosecutor starts asking the arresting officer some questions, saying, do you see the person that was involved in this altercation?
Kyle
And the officer points me out, and the prosecutor asks a few more questions, and then the judge goes, Kyle, do you want to ask, you know, the officer some questions?
Kyle
And in my head, I'm very, very confident, but as I start speaking, my mouth starts, you know, start shaking, my voice is trembling, but eventually get enough nerve and I start asking him some questions, and I go, where were you when you first saw this allegeden incident?
Kyle
He goes, oh, sitting in my police cruiser.
Kyle
And I go, well, where was that relative to where you saw this incident?
Kyle
He goes, oh, about 150 yards.
Kyle
And I go, what did you see?
Kyle
He goes, oh, I saw about 150 kids surrounding you guys.
Kyle
And I go, so you're telling me from sitting your police cruiser from 150 yards away through like 150 kids, you saw me strike somebody else?
Kyle
And he goes, well, no, I can't say that for sure.
Kyle
And that was it.
Kyle
The judge just found me not guilty, case was dismissed.
Kyle
I was just so happy.
Kyle
And what I remember at that point is that what Mister Brady told me before is like, if you believe in yourself and if you push forward, good things will happen.
Kyle
And so that was a big life change for me, and I'll get to it.
Kyle
Why?
Kyle
But it was so, I was so happy that that happened to me and I was, because I wasn't in trouble.
Kyle
And a, what happens when I start believing in myself, even at that young.
Matt Gilhooly
Age, on something also that, like, nobody is taught to do, right?
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, we're taught to stand up for ourselves and speak up for ourselves, but not when it, not when it relates to, like, the court and the law and all those things.
Matt Gilhooly
I think so many of us would just like, shy away and then we'd have to figure out a public defender of some sort.
Matt Gilhooly
And here you are, like, no, I'm gonna do it.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, because I know I'm in the right.
Matt Gilhooly
And you were.
Kyle
I was.
Kyle
And, but you had all these, you know, authority figures too, and telling me that I was wrong and like, you're, you know, you're in trouble.
Kyle
So that happened.
Kyle
And eventually I do graduate high school after six years with, like, a 1.046 GPA.
Kyle
I think my class rank is, like, 346 out of, like, 349, something ridiculous.
Kyle
And so, you know, college is not on the horizon.
Kyle
Nothing's on the horizon whatsoever.
Kyle
And so I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I want to do something.
Kyle
But right out of high school, I get a job at, like, an oil change place.
Kyle
And between me and you, Matt, and our listeners, I know nothing about cars.
Kyle
And so I'm working at this oil change place, and one day I'm sitting underneath the car, like, changing some oil.
Kyle
And I think now I want to do something more with my life.
Kyle
But I wasn't sure what I can do.
Kyle
I was like, can a person who spends six years in high school go to college?
Kyle
And I was like.
Kyle
I wasn't sure, but I wanted to find out.
Kyle
And so eventually, I take the act to get into college because obviously I didn't take it in high school because I was too busy, you know, get in fights and doing drugs.
Kyle
But I take the act and I get do well enough that I get into college.
Kyle
And so this is my opportunity.
Kyle
This is my chance.
Kyle
And so I don't want to mess this up.
Kyle
And so what I decided to do is I buckle down.
Kyle
And my first semester of college, I get almost a 4.0.
Kyle
And I'm so.
Kyle
I was like, I knew it.
Kyle
And I fucking.
Kyle
I freaking knew it.
Kyle
And so I'm very, very happy with myself.
Kyle
And so my mom is pleased.
Kyle
She put, like, the dean's list thing on the refrigerator back at home because I moved out right away because obviously, I need to get away from triple B.
Kyle
But also, I'm doing a lot of this, too, to prove to triple B I'm not a loser.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
And I show him that I made the dean's list because my mom still wants me to call him dad.
Kyle
I still think he's my dad.
Kyle
He's still in my life big time.
Kyle
And so he doesn't care.
Kyle
He doesn't care at all.
Kyle
Not at all.
Kyle
So did you feel like you had.
Matt Gilhooly
To win his love, or did you want to?
Matt Gilhooly
Or do you just wanted to show him that you weren't who he said you were?
Kyle
I think it was more a little bit of both.
Kyle
And as I got.
Kyle
When I was younger, I think I wanted him like, I wanted his love.
Kyle
But as I got older, I think I just wanted to show him, like, I'm not who you think I am.
Kyle
And so I think it kind of shifted as.
Kyle
As I got older.
Kyle
And so eventually.
Kyle
So after I made the dean's list, I decided to transfer schools.
Kyle
I'm going to a different school, and I start partying up again because I meet a whole new group of friends.
Kyle
And these weren't bad guys.
Kyle
They just weren't good for me at that time because I kind of get right back into what I was doing in high school, just partying it up.
Kyle
And the excuse I gave myself was like, oh, you're in college now.
Kyle
You're okay.
Kyle
You're doing okay.
Kyle
And so it's okay to do this, it's okay to party and things like that, and obviously, like, everyone does it, right?
Kyle
Exactly.
Kyle
And so my grades start dropping.
Kyle
Things aren't going so well.
Kyle
I'm like, academic probation.
Kyle
And then one day, all my friends decide, let's go drink and do some day drinking down at the bar.
Kyle
So I go, okay.
Kyle
Everyone piles in my jeep.
Kyle
We drive down to the bars, and so we're doing something.
Kyle
You know, we're drinking.
Kyle
We're doing something called power hour.
Kyle
You take a shot every time you hear some sort of song.
Matt Gilhooly
Great idea.
Kyle
Yeah, yeah.
Kyle
Great idea.
Kyle
So we're down there all day, and we decide, you know what?
Kyle
Let's go home and change so we can go back out.
Kyle
I go, okay, let's get my jeep.
Kyle
Let's go.
Kyle
So as we're driving home, we're taking a left onto my tree.
Kyle
I hit the gas.
Kyle
Boom.
Kyle
Run into a telephone pole.
Kyle
Total.
Kyle
My jeep.
Kyle
Put everybody in the hospital, and I get arrested for DUI.
Kyle
Reckless drive aid.
Kyle
And I'm thinking to myself, it's high school over again.
Kyle
This is like, you're not doing.
Kyle
Like, you're not doing great.
Kyle
You're not trying to do what you want to do with your life.
Kyle
And again, it's hard for me to rationalize.
Kyle
Everybody does this.
Kyle
I was like, no, everybody doesn't get a DUI.
Kyle
Everybody doesn't put everyone in the car in the hospital.
Kyle
Luckily, they were all, okay.
Kyle
But I was like, this is not.
Kyle
This is not good.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you kind of go back to thinking, oh, triple b is right?
Kyle
Oh, all the time.
Kyle
That's in the back of my head.
Kyle
Yep.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, absolutely.
Kyle
I was like, so it's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy.
Kyle
It's like it doesn't matter what I do.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
It doesn't matter.
Matt Gilhooly
See?
Kyle
Yeah, exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
I have one win, and then three more loses.
Kyle
Exactly.
Kyle
It's like you're exactly who you think?
Kyle
Who you say I am?
Kyle
Cause, like.
Kyle
And I didn't say this before, like, when I was growing up in high school, he would always call me a loser, you know, all kinds of stuff.
Kyle
And so it's like, yeah, it was kind of like, you know, maybe he's right.
Kyle
But I did.
Kyle
I am inside.
Kyle
I'm fighting.
Kyle
That was like, he's not right.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
But these things would happen.
Kyle
Like, maybe he is right.
Kyle
You know?
Kyle
Maybe he is right.
Matt Gilhooly
What is the universe telling me?
Kyle
Correct.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Kyle
And so I eventually, you know, I have to go to some, like, a DUI diversion program, and, like, it's dropped or I get less charge, and so I don't have to, you know, go to jail or anything like that.
Kyle
And I eventually limp through college, and I do graduate with, like, a 2.02 GPA, but I have nothing on the horizon because I made no contacts.
Kyle
I kind of just partied through college, but I have a college degree.
Kyle
And again, triple B, he doesn't care.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
Like, it doesn't.
Kyle
It doesn't matter because it actually was at the time.
Kyle
I make it.
Kyle
I make it sound like it wasn't that big of achievement.
Kyle
It actually was a big achievement that I got a college degree after six years of high school.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
And so after what I've been through.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, I mean, it's a big deal with all you're discussing.
Matt Gilhooly
And like I said before, like, people that grew up in those circumstances might not have done that, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
So there was still something in you that was lighting you up, making you go, Jeff.
Kyle
And so I wanted to get.
Kyle
So I knew, I started to realize it's about who I hung around with and who, you know, how I'm spending my time, dictating how my life's going.
Kyle
And so after I graduated college, I decided to, like, run away.
Kyle
That is, I had an opportunity to go live in San Francisco, and I took that.
Kyle
So I drove out to San Francisco, and I worked out there.
Matt Gilhooly
Nobody knows me there, right?
Kyle
I worked out there, and it was kind of good because I was away from triple B.
Kyle
I was away from, like, my old friends.
Kyle
But my mom would call and she would, like, call on my birthday and, like, oh, your dad wants to talk to you.
Kyle
And, like, so put him on.
Kyle
And so she was just driving this home all the time.
Kyle
All the time.
Kyle
And I'm still at this point where I don't think there's anything wrong.
Kyle
I think this.
Kyle
I don't enjoy doing it.
Kyle
But I'm still doing it, right?
Kyle
But I'm out in San Francisco.
Kyle
I'm kind of getting things together.
Kyle
I'm getting my finances together.
Kyle
I'm trying to get my life together, and I'm bartending.
Kyle
Things are going great.
Kyle
I was like, but you know what?
Kyle
I want to do more with my life.
Kyle
And I think about high school.
Kyle
I think about, what can I do?
Kyle
And I think about that incident where I represented myself.
Kyle
I was like, could I actually do that in real life?
Kyle
Could I be a lawyer in real life?
Kyle
And I wasn't sure, but again, I wanted to find out.
Kyle
So I took the entry exam to get into law school, the LSAT, and I did well enough to get into law school.
Kyle
And now I'm moving out to Michigan, and I'm going to western Michigan law school.
Kyle
And so now I know I do not want to mess this up again, just similar to what I did in my first semester in college.
Kyle
I was like, okay, you have this opportunity, Kyle.
Kyle
Let's not blow this opportunity.
Kyle
So now you're in law school.
Kyle
And so what I did was I found the two smartest kids that I could find and just stuck next to them all three years of high school.
Kyle
And it's very easy to find these kids because in law school, they're the ones who raise their hand every time the professor asks a question or anything like that.
Kyle
So I literally hung next to those kids all three years.
Kyle
And I.
Kyle
And there's no dramatics that happen in law school because I was a very good kid because you can't mess around in law school.
Kyle
And in college, you kind of mess around and do well enough in law school.
Kyle
If you're not studying and you're not going to class every day, you're going to get.
Kyle
You're going to fail out.
Kyle
And so I made the dean's list one semester, I got the certificate of merit one semester, that's getting the highest grade in one of your classes.
Kyle
And I did well enough.
Kyle
Better than I did in high school, obviously better than I did in college.
Kyle
And I was going to graduate law school, and.
Kyle
But in order to graduate law school, you have to take an internship.
Kyle
And so I just applied to internships in New York City because that's where I always want to live.
Kyle
So eventually, I got an internship in New York City, and I hated every second of it.
Kyle
It was at this matrimonial law firm.
Kyle
It was a nightmare.
Kyle
I hated every second of it.
Kyle
And I was like, I'm not sure if I want to be a practicing attorney.
Kyle
And so that was in the back of my head, too.
Kyle
Eventually, I did graduate law school, and again, triple b, I was trying to prove to him that I'm not worthless.
Kyle
And at my high school or my law school graduation, this is what he told me, that he goes, I would have lost a bet.
Kyle
That was his congratulations to me.
Kyle
And I started to come to a realization that I could find the cure for cancer.
Kyle
And this man, it didn't matter.
Kyle
I started to get the mentality now.
Kyle
You know what?
Kyle
Forget him.
Kyle
You know, forget him.
Kyle
But again, I don't want to disappoint my mom either, because she thinks she wants me to, you know, calm down, things like that.
Kyle
So, you know, I'll text.
Matt Gilhooly
How old are you around this time?
Kyle
So I graduated law school in 2009.
Kyle
So 46 now.
Kyle
So I'm around 30 years old, if that I'm doing the math correctly real quick.
Kyle
So some, it's a trick, right?
Matt Gilhooly
It's a math podcast somewhere around there.
Matt Gilhooly
I get it, though.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, the reason I ask is because, like, 30, we, some of us that have these traumas early on, we are still so attached to the perception of those that are deemed parents have of us.
Matt Gilhooly
And I can see why that would still matter, though.
Matt Gilhooly
And, you know, I think some people are like, wow, well, you're 30, but when you have those early things, it sticks around and it probably still does.
Matt Gilhooly
Even if you've worked through things, you still think of it and you're like.
Kyle
Well, for sure, my mom is still married to this man to this day, which is insane.
Kyle
And so, yeah, which is it?
Matt Gilhooly
But she comes from a different generation, too.
Matt Gilhooly
And that generation has, there's different things that we work through.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like, even our generation, we're just now pushing through things that our generation is not, wasn't used to and we didn't grow up with because we're like, oh, there is something we can do with ourselves.
Matt Gilhooly
There is something that can be better.
Matt Gilhooly
We don't have to accept everything.
Matt Gilhooly
And so, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt the story.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm curious because I think that at 30, people that haven't experienced something like this, maybe they've had a more casual of lives moving forward.
Matt Gilhooly
They're like, yeah, 30.
Matt Gilhooly
I was already out here doing all these things and never even called my parents or never even talked to my parents, never even thought of them, you know, whatever it may be.
Matt Gilhooly
And so I think it's interesting to me because I was very similar.
Matt Gilhooly
I was into my thirties when I finally finished grieving my mom.
Matt Gilhooly
You know?
Matt Gilhooly
And so it was like everything before that was thinking, what is my dad gonna think?
Matt Gilhooly
He didn't care.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, he cared, but he didn't care, right?
Kyle
Yeah, he was.
Kyle
Yeah, exactly.
Kyle
Like, he didn't want that to dictate how you were acting, like, exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, exactly.
Kyle
And I don't want you to think that I don't love my mom.
Kyle
Of course I love my mom.
Kyle
I'll get into this a little bit later, but, like.
Kyle
And I'll get to this later, but I can't control her, how she feels or how she reacts.
Kyle
I can just control how I feel and how I react and what I do and, like, moving forward.
Kyle
And I'll bet you tell you how I got to that realization.
Kyle
But again, now I'm just trying to make my mom happy.
Kyle
I do not want to disappoint her.
Kyle
And so I will keep talking to triple B.
Kyle
I'll keep, you know, call him on Father's Day and things like that.
Kyle
So it's.
Kyle
It's crazy.
Matt Gilhooly
So, checking the boxes.
Kyle
So now I have to take the bar exam.
Kyle
And in New York, you have to take something called the character and fitness exam.
Kyle
And in order to get admitted to the bar.
Kyle
So I took the bar exam.
Kyle
I passed the bar.
Kyle
But in order to get admitted, you have to take something called the character and fitness exam.
Kyle
That's where they do this huge background check on you.
Kyle
They take your fingerprints.
Kyle
They do, like, this FBI background check, and they find anything wrong, you might not get admitted to the bar.
Kyle
And I was actually terrified of this, all three years of law school, because I wasn't sure if I was going to actually be able to become a lawyer.
Kyle
Because of your history.
Kyle
Yeah, exactly.
Kyle
So I rationalized to myself, you know what?
Kyle
You'll just have a JD, Kyle.
Kyle
You won't even try to take your bar.
Kyle
And I wasn't even going to attempt to take the bar exam at all, but I was.
Kyle
After I graduated law school, I was like, you know, you've come this far.
Kyle
What.
Kyle
What are they going to do, take your law degree?
Kyle
Like, you already went through this far.
Kyle
Why not try to do this?
Kyle
So what I did was I flew back home to Ohio after living in New York, live in New York City, and I went to all of the courthouses and police stations, got certified copies of all of my police records, and submitted it to the character and fitness board to see if I can admitted to the bar.
Kyle
And so the way they do it in New York is you have to get interviewed by a prosecutor or a member of the bar to see everybody goes through it.
Kyle
So the day of my interview, I'm in there, and there's, you know, dozens and dozens of law school graduates being interviewed, but they're only taking, like, two, five minutes.
Kyle
I'm in there for 2 hours waiting for someone to interview me, and I finally ask, what's going on?
Kyle
They go, oh, we're bringing in a special prosecutor for you.
Kyle
And so finally, yeah, finally, this woman comes in, and she has my file.
Kyle
And, Matt, there's, like, red tape coming out of it, you know, everything.
Kyle
And I'm like, here we go.
Kyle
This is, like, worthless endeavor.
Kyle
And so finally we sit down, and she starts going through this file, and she goes, quite the file here.
Kyle
And I go, yeah.
Kyle
And then she pulls out this piece of paper.
Kyle
And I was like, what are we going to talk about?
Kyle
Are we going to talk about my fighting?
Kyle
Are we going to talk about, like, my underage drinking?
Kyle
What are we going to talk about?
Kyle
And she saw, oh, I see.
Kyle
You got caught speeding, Michigan, like, while I was in law school.
Kyle
I was like, yeah.
Kyle
She goes, well, how do I know you're not going to do this going forward?
Kyle
And I'm thinking, this is what she's questioning me about.
Kyle
I go, well, I live in New York City now.
Kyle
I don't even have a car, so it's impossible for me.
Kyle
She goes, oh, I guess you're right.
Kyle
She had, like, a little laugh about it.
Kyle
She goes through the rest of my file.
Kyle
It doesn't really ask me any more questions.
Kyle
Goes, you're going to be a good, you know, a good.
Kyle
An ethical attorney.
Kyle
I was like, yes, ma'am.
Kyle
And that was it.
Kyle
Stamped.
Kyle
I was admitted to the bar, and I was like, a great weight was lifted off my shoulders because I was.
Matt Gilhooly
I bet, really?
Kyle
And again, I thought that that would fix everything, too.
Kyle
I thought, okay, so look.
Kyle
See?
Matt Gilhooly
And another reason to external validation.
Kyle
Yeah.
Kyle
Another reason, too.
Kyle
I wasn't going to go through the character and fitness evaluation.
Kyle
I was so scared.
Kyle
Not scared, worried that triple B was like, yep, I told you you couldn't do this.
Kyle
And so I didn't want to hear him saying that.
Kyle
So that was a big part of the back of my head.
Matt Gilhooly
But then you also know that he's not gonna care, right, if you do eventually.
Kyle
But I'm still trying.
Kyle
I'm still trying, right?
Matt Gilhooly
I know.
Kyle
It's insane.
Matt Gilhooly
Humans.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
It's not insane.
Matt Gilhooly
I would venture to say it's probably normal.
Matt Gilhooly
I think that if anyone has that experience, they think they could relate, but it's funny.
Matt Gilhooly
Not funny.
Matt Gilhooly
Just like, it's not insane that we think, okay, well, it's gonna validate him.
Matt Gilhooly
But then we're also, like, we know that even if it validates me, he's not gonna validate it ever.
Kyle
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like, it's a.
Matt Gilhooly
It's like a.
Matt Gilhooly
An endless trial that you're on for yourself to try to get this and no win, I would assume.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, maybe there was.
Kyle
Yeah, but also, like, I think part of that, too, is, like, it started morphing into, like, well, can you do a.
Kyle
Kyle can?
Kyle
Like, you know, starting to see if you're capable of it?
Kyle
Like, Juan wants to see if I can do this, you know, prove to myself that I'm worthy of it, because I didn't feel worthy of a lot of things.
Kyle
So I was trying to, you know, seek all these external validations to try and, you know, fix me and try to say I am worthy.
Kyle
And so a lot of it, too, starts shifting towards, I'm doing it for me to prove to myself, hey, I am.
Kyle
I'm worthy.
Kyle
Hey, world, look at me.
Kyle
I am good.
Kyle
So this is what I can do.
Kyle
Things like that.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, but it's like that balance.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, it's like that law scale with the scale.
Matt Gilhooly
What is it?
Kyle
The lady of justice with the.
Kyle
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
That I'm thinking, like, okay, well, is Kyle thinking, like he's trying to prove it to himself, or is it really just this triple b that's just weighing everything down?
Matt Gilhooly
Because as you tell your story, there's a lot of triumph.
Matt Gilhooly
There's a ton of triumph.
Matt Gilhooly
As you talk about all the things that a lot of people probably wouldn't been able to achieve, that you did yet.
Matt Gilhooly
And I can understand this as well.
Matt Gilhooly
You seek the next stamp of approval.
Matt Gilhooly
You seek the next.
Matt Gilhooly
Whatever it may be.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, maybe one more thing will help.
Kyle
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
One more thing.
Matt Gilhooly
And then another thing.
Matt Gilhooly
I did the same thing.
Matt Gilhooly
I totally get that.
Matt Gilhooly
And so.
Matt Gilhooly
But when you tell your story, and I hope you see this now, I'm sure you do.
Matt Gilhooly
Lots of triumph.
Matt Gilhooly
Lots of things.
Kyle
Absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly
Society would have excluded you from had you written you off, if you will, just, like, triple b did, you know, and you did it.
Kyle
So I was also searching.
Kyle
Yeah.
Kyle
For the next thing.
Kyle
Like, I want to be good enough.
Kyle
I'm good enough.
Kyle
And eventually, I realized it, Kyle, wouldn't have mattered if you didn't even graduate high school.
Kyle
You know, you are good enough.
Kyle
You were good enough back then.
Kyle
And so it's a long.
Kyle
It takes a long time to get there, though.
Matt Gilhooly
But there was like.
Matt Gilhooly
I still feel like early in that story, this still sounded like there was that fire in Kyle, like, deeply buried, maybe like burning, that you knew.
Matt Gilhooly
You knew you could do it and you had faith in yourself.
Matt Gilhooly
It's just sometimes we're conditioned to do the other things, right?
Kyle
And I never had any.
Kyle
So that brings me to the next.
Kyle
I never really had anybody cultivate that spark, you know, it was just always myself.
Kyle
I was granted.
Kyle
So after I was admitted to the bar, I was like, well, you know what?
Kyle
I don't think I want to practice law.
Kyle
Law.
Kyle
I'm open to it because I had such bad experience at that internship.
Kyle
These guys working like 89 hours a week working in matrimonial law, and they hated every second of.
Kyle
Yeah, they were, like, making all kinds of money, but all they cared about was, like, billable hours.
Kyle
And they were miserable.
Kyle
And I was looking at them, I was like, I don't know if I want to do this.
Kyle
I was getting panic attacks when I was working with them.
Kyle
It was terrible.
Matt Gilhooly
I worked so hard to achieve all this, and this is what I end up with, right?
Kyle
And so I started to apply to alternative legal careers where you need a law degree, but you're not actually practicing.
Kyle
And I got a job at a company, at this education company, and the CEO and president is actually similar age to me.
Kyle
And you.
Kyle
He actually kind of took me under his wing.
Kyle
This is the first time somebody, like, told me about, like, setting goals, you know, about meditating, about reading the right books and things, like.
Kyle
And he really, like, blew my mind.
Kyle
And it was great because he was same age as me, and he's running like, this multi million dollar company, and he's, like, telling me not.
Kyle
He's not saying it out loud.
Kyle
He's like, you can do this, too.
Kyle
You can do something with your life, too.
Kyle
Here's how I did it.
Kyle
Here's how to do it.
Kyle
And I still.
Matt Gilhooly
That's what worked for me.
Kyle
And it was.
Kyle
It was so life changing, similar to Mister Brady, but now I was ready to hear it.
Kyle
And he was.
Kyle
This guy, his name's David.
Kyle
He actually gave me the tools to do it.
Kyle
And so it was actually amazing.
Kyle
This is what I was cravings for so bad.
Kyle
I was, like, starving for this.
Kyle
So I ate up everything he was telling me.
Kyle
And he really changed my life about, like I said, just setting goals about what I am capable about, pushing the boundaries, getting out of my comfort zone, everything, you name it.
Kyle
And it really altered the course of my life.
Kyle
And I feel.
Kyle
And I understand, not everybody has that person in their life, or I understand how lucky I was to run into this.
Matt Gilhooly
You worked your butt off to get there.
Matt Gilhooly
So I agree.
Matt Gilhooly
Maybe it was all predestined, maybe.
Kyle
But I'm so thankful for him and so thankful for him at that, at that moment.
Kyle
And so that was a huge thing that happened to me, and it was.
Kyle
It was amazing.
Kyle
And I was just, like.
Kyle
I just dove in all the way.
Kyle
And also around this time, too, I got into running.
Kyle
And we can talk about running if you want, but running and ultra running became a huge part of my life.
Kyle
I'm a huge runner, too, because I wasn't really a big exercise guy, but that was good to get, like, mental clarity and things like that.
Kyle
And so I was in New York City about five years, and I was like, you know what?
Kyle
I'm done with.
Kyle
Not.
Kyle
Not done with New York City.
Kyle
But I was like, it was time to move on.
Kyle
And so I moved back to Ohio, and this is around 2013, 2014, and that's where I'm at today.
Kyle
And when I moved back, I started a similar business where I was working for with David, and that kind of just kind of blew up a little bit, but enough where I was able to support myself, and it was actually great.
Kyle
Gave me a lot of free time, too.
Kyle
But also I knew that I learned from David was, you know, again, who you hang out with is going to dictate your future.
Kyle
So when I moved back to Ohio, I just started hanging out with all my running friends.
Kyle
Like, people who like to run, like, people like to push themselves.
Kyle
People like to, you know, have a good life and a healthy life and a healthy lifestyle.
Kyle
So I just met these great friends that I'm still best friends with today, and I was hung out with them every day, and I went on adventures out west.
Kyle
I rent, I bought, like, a conversion van, and I spent, like, six months out west, like, traveling around, meeting a bunch of other people.
Kyle
And when I came back, and this is, like, one of the biggest life shifts that happened to me.
Kyle
And when I came back from that trip, I was like, you know what?
Kyle
I want to write about my life.
Kyle
I want to tell my story to the people and what I thought my story was going to be like, oh, you know, I spent six years in high school.
Kyle
I was a bad kid.
Kyle
I was bad.
Kyle
I overcame this, overcame this.
Kyle
And then as I started writing, I was like, well, let's start at the beginning, kyle, what is your first memory, your life?
Kyle
I'm trying to think about my first memory, and it was when I was four years old, when I met triple B.
Kyle
That was my first memory that I ever had.
Kyle
So I started writing this, and I started just crying, and I just started writing about how I grew up.
Kyle
And I wasn't even planning on writing any of this stuff, but this was the first time that I realized how I grew up and how bad it was and how serious it was and why.
Kyle
The reasons why I became who I was.
Kyle
And it was really, like, hard at that moment, but it was amazing because now I know what happened, and now I can do something about it.
Kyle
Now I can change the narrative.
Kyle
I can change what's going on now.
Kyle
I was like, oh, you happen to, you know, you can, you know, seek therapy.
Kyle
You can talk to people.
Kyle
Now you know why you act these way this way.
Kyle
Now you know why you tried to find those kind of friends that weren't good for you, and, you know, you're trying to prove something, but it was actually life altering.
Kyle
That was one of the biggest things that ever happened.
Kyle
I started writing this because I.
Kyle
You.
Kyle
If you would have told me ten minutes before I started writing, it was like, oh, were you, you know, abused as a kid?
Kyle
I was like, no, my stepdad was just a jerk.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
I would have said, like, that's what I would have said.
Kyle
But after this, it was crazy.
Kyle
And it just opened up a lot of things for me that obviously I had to work through.
Kyle
But it was just.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, you probably got messy for a little bit.
Kyle
Oh, for sure.
Kyle
And I'm still, you know, working on it.
Kyle
I'm not like, you know.
Kyle
But it was.
Matt Gilhooly
You're not.
Kyle
Well, you know, I'm sure that's what.
Matt Gilhooly
That's what's coming.
Matt Gilhooly
You're just perfect.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, no, I think it's.
Matt Gilhooly
I think a lot.
Matt Gilhooly
That was what happened to me in therapy was a very similar experience because I was, like, I was going to therapy for, like, work just was, like, really crappy at the time.
Matt Gilhooly
And then I started, like, emptying my story to her, and she's like, you realize that all the decisions that you've made since.
Matt Gilhooly
Since your mom died, you were making with that eight year old in mind, like, a fear of that eight year old.
Matt Gilhooly
And it was like you said, the clouds parted and like, oh.
Matt Gilhooly
And then I was able to connect all these dots of all the things and decisions and poor decisions and things that I made over the years, and it just comes.
Matt Gilhooly
And then you're like, what do I do with all this?
Matt Gilhooly
So I'm sure as you're writing this on paper.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, really.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, did this really, like, could this be true?
Kyle
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Did you have any of those moments where you're like, this feels like it's a movie, not Kyle's life?
Kyle
Well, I.
Kyle
So, after I wrote it all down, I was like, well, am I the only way?
Kyle
It feels this way?
Kyle
So my brother, my sister experienced, like, grew up in the same household.
Kyle
So what I did before I published it, I shared it with them, and they read the whole thing, and they were like.
Kyle
It was eye opening them, too, because they never.
Kyle
Because, remember my mom?
Kyle
So this is your dad.
Kyle
This is love, this.
Kyle
And so we were all playing along this whole time, and once I shared it to them, they're like, oh, my God.
Kyle
Yes.
Kyle
This is exactly what happened.
Kyle
Like, this is what, you know, our life was like, like, thank.
Kyle
No, like, thank you for bringing this up, but, like, it helped them heal as well, too, and way to move forward.
Kyle
It was.
Kyle
It was really.
Matt Gilhooly
Did they face any similar challenges?
Matt Gilhooly
Not that you have to give away their secrets, but did they face any, like, not as bad as similar challenges.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
So it was just.
Matt Gilhooly
You absorbed more of it, probably.
Kyle
I don't.
Kyle
I.
Kyle
Maybe my brother, like, absorbed the meanness of him more than I did.
Kyle
I think I took it worse, but I don't know.
Matt Gilhooly
Because you were younger, you didn't have any memories before that, right?
Matt Gilhooly
And I just felt, like, first lasting memory.
Kyle
And so, yeah, when I told my brother story, he said he had no idea that that was your first memory, you know?
Kyle
And so.
Kyle
But it was good to get validation that I'm not crazy, that I'm not making this.
Kyle
You know, they were like, yeah, this is exactly what happened.
Kyle
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
No, I could imagine if you told other people, they'd be like, that's.
Matt Gilhooly
You're just, you know, you're embellishing that, or, you know, this, that or the other.
Matt Gilhooly
You had control all along.
Matt Gilhooly
You're like, really?
Matt Gilhooly
I was four.
Kyle
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
You know?
Matt Gilhooly
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
That's deeply embedded.
Matt Gilhooly
Those feelings and those things that happen around that time.
Matt Gilhooly
You're.
Matt Gilhooly
I can.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, your story makes sense to me.
Matt Gilhooly
I think there are people that it would not make sense.
Matt Gilhooly
Like.
Matt Gilhooly
And it wouldn't be validated, because they wouldn't be like.
Matt Gilhooly
They'd be like, no, you could just.
Matt Gilhooly
You can just change on your own.
Matt Gilhooly
You can just stop doing that, Kyle.
Matt Gilhooly
And you're like, I really wanted to, but that was just the way my life was turning out.
Matt Gilhooly
It was just.
Matt Gilhooly
I got myself into these situations.
Matt Gilhooly
I didn't want to, but I did, and that's how it happened.
Matt Gilhooly
And I, you know, like, so many triumphs, like I said before, but I can imagine what that, what that book, was it scary putting that book into the world?
Matt Gilhooly
For sure, because it's one thing to write it down and share it with your family.
Matt Gilhooly
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Right, for sure.
Kyle
Well, because I, right when I published it, I shared it with my mom, and it did not go over well because she.
Matt Gilhooly
Did she tell you you were wrong or.
Kyle
No, she was like, well, you know what she hangs on to?
Kyle
It's like, well, there are good parts of your childhood, right?
Kyle
Like, that's what she hangs on to.
Kyle
And that's what she, like, she goes, you know, I love you.
Kyle
And I do.
Kyle
I don't want, again, I don't want my listeners think I don't love my mom.
Kyle
I do love my mom, but, like, she grew up, like, at a different, different life, and it's just she wants to pretend, and I can't control the way, you know, she's going to heal.
Kyle
Like, I want her to be happy.
Kyle
Of course I do.
Kyle
But I need to focus in order for me to help her out.
Kyle
I need to heal myself and focus on me.
Kyle
And if I didn't focus on me, then I would just be unhappy, too, to my detriment, and then she would still be unhappy, too.
Kyle
So what?
Kyle
And so I just need to focus on me healing, and I can't change anybody else.
Kyle
I just focus on what I can control and move forward.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, you experienced that as well.
Matt Gilhooly
No one could change you either until you were truly ready to grab that toolbox that David gave you.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, you heard what Mister Brady said, probably sat with you a little bit.
Kyle
It.
Matt Gilhooly
You moved forward, but you weren't ready until you were handed the tools on how it would work for you.
Matt Gilhooly
And the tools that were given you were.
Matt Gilhooly
That you were given probably don't work for everybody, right?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you have to be ready and in the right place, right time.
Matt Gilhooly
The universe was conspiring for you to, you know, come across David and learn these things from him and see someone successful that's a similar age.
Matt Gilhooly
They're like, oh, I could probably do that, too.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I could try these things.
Matt Gilhooly
And you were ready to do it at that time, right?
Matt Gilhooly
Do you see it as that?
Matt Gilhooly
Or do you think if you met David when you were 18, you would have taken those on?
Kyle
No, it was the right time.
Kyle
Absolutely.
Kyle
I was ready.
Kyle
I was craving it.
Kyle
I forget what that saying is.
Kyle
The teacher will show up when the student's ready or whatever.
Kyle
I don't know if I ever quoted that until today, but I guess that's what happened.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, it's true.
Matt Gilhooly
I think from my own experience, I feel like until I'm fully aware of what I need, I won't accept any pieces.
Matt Gilhooly
You know?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I have to be ready for therapy.
Matt Gilhooly
I have to be ready for whatever, for it to work for me.
Matt Gilhooly
If someone had forced me at 22 into therapy because, like, you had to go or court ordered or something, I don't think, I don't think it would have worked because I would have been, I don't need this.
Matt Gilhooly
What are you talking about?
Matt Gilhooly
I'm fine.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, until I was like, oh, I'm not fine.
Kyle
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
And then it was like, then it worked.
Matt Gilhooly
Right?
Kyle
And to answer your question, it still is scary putting this story out there.
Kyle
But I think it's pretty important that question.
Kyle
But I think it's pretty important because it's selfishly, it's very healing for me.
Kyle
And also sharing my story, like I hear back from other people, it's like, oh, my gosh.
Kyle
Like, this is, you know, similar to kind of what my story is.
Kyle
And also, I always had this excuse in the back of my head, like, no, you guys don't understand.
Kyle
My story's different.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
There's no healing or coming back from that or shifting from that.
Kyle
Like, my story's different, but, like, yes, everyone's story is different, but I never thought I'd be able to be where I'm at today, like, you know, years ago.
Kyle
Cause I always thought in my head, like, oh, no, my story's just too messed up and, like, too, like, my mom's still with this guy, so that's excuse you guys wouldn't understand.
Kyle
You know what I mean?
Kyle
And so I don't know where I'm going with this, but what I'm saying is just, there's, I stopped with the excuses, I guess, and just, and I knew there's something inside me that I wanted to put this story out there, and I'm just very glad that I did.
Kyle
And it still is scary today.
Kyle
You know, people say, oh, once you put your story out there, it's, everything's, you know, rainbows and shut down.
Kyle
It's not, you know, I'm still healing.
Kyle
I'm still moving through this, and it's just, I'm trying to do my best.
Matt Gilhooly
But it's out of you.
Kyle
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
I think that's a, that's a big healing piece.
Matt Gilhooly
You're not keeping it all inside anymore, which is really tiring and really, you know, like.
Matt Gilhooly
And so just letting it out.
Matt Gilhooly
I.
Matt Gilhooly
Sometimes I talk to people, and I'm like, you know, sometimes I manifest these things in my head, and they seem so scary, and then I say them out loud to someone, I'm like, oh, that's not that bad.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it feels like more power.
Matt Gilhooly
And I would assume that putting your story to paper and then publishing it for the world to read, if they choose to, can be that fairly similar.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, it just gets it out of you, and now you can move forward with what you have created for yourself.
Kyle
Yeah.
Kyle
And it's like, my hope is, like, it just heals some other people, or hopefully it helps other people, too.
Kyle
So that was the main reason.
Matt Gilhooly
Are you finding that.
Matt Gilhooly
Are you finding that people that have read it are saying, you know, I dealt with something similar, or, you know, and then does that help.
Matt Gilhooly
Help you heal more to realize you aren't the only one that's gone through something so terrible, in your experience?
Kyle
Yeah, it.
Kyle
Well, it reinforces that I did the right thing putting it out there, and I'm glad it's helping other people.
Kyle
But now I know.
Kyle
I mean, I think I'm mature enough, and I know that other people have gone through these similar things, and.
Kyle
And I think it's good, too.
Kyle
Like, we're so scared to, like, talk about these things, but we got to shine a light on, like, all this kind of stuff.
Kyle
Like, even these bad things that we might be embarrassed or ashamed about.
Kyle
Like, we got to shine a light on it.
Kyle
It won't be.
Kyle
And then it won't hurt so bad.
Kyle
It won't have this power over us because this had a power over me for so, you know, for so long.
Kyle
And then I was just like, I'm sick of it.
Kyle
But, like, you know, now it's out here.
Kyle
Like, now I'm just shining a light on.
Kyle
It's like, you can't hurt me.
Kyle
Like, the way you have been hurting or keeping me back.
Kyle
The way you haven't keepd me back.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
No.
Matt Gilhooly
There's power in normalizing some of these feelings that we have, because we are humans and we have all these feelings, and you probably have had all of them.
Matt Gilhooly
Sadness, shame, anger, all the pieces of happiness, all the pieces that come with you.
Matt Gilhooly
But our generation, growing up, we were really, as guys were told, you can show anger, which you did.
Matt Gilhooly
You can show happiness if you want to.
Matt Gilhooly
Happiness and anger.
Matt Gilhooly
You weren't allowed to show people that you were sad.
Matt Gilhooly
You weren't allowed to show people that things weren't.
Matt Gilhooly
That you didn't have things under control.
Matt Gilhooly
Right.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I feel like we were just taught to be, like, angry or happy.
Kyle
Right, exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
Don't do anything else.
Matt Gilhooly
But now that if we're like.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, Kyle, I'm having a terrible day today, and that's okay, you know, like, I'll figure it out.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm going to work through it, but I'm acknowledging it and putting it out loud and normalizing the fact that, like, we can feel however we need to feel.
Matt Gilhooly
Because were full humans, I guess.
Kyle
And I've gotten a lot of the tools.
Kyle
Like, what's helped me out, too, is, like, obviously writing, but now, like, you know, journaling.
Kyle
I don't know if you practice with journaling, but, like, journaling helps so much because you just see patterns in there.
Kyle
It's good to get all your thoughts out at the beginning of the day.
Kyle
And so that's helped me out a lot, too.
Matt Gilhooly
What makes you feel most like, human these days?
Kyle
Most human?
Kyle
Well, like, running makes me feel most human.
Kyle
That's where I feel most alive.
Kyle
Just running out there.
Kyle
I don't.
Kyle
I don't listen to, like, music or anything like that.
Kyle
And usually I'm with my friends, but when I'm out by myself running in the middle of the woods or something like that, that's where I feel the most.
Kyle
Because then I could see, you know, how far you're.
Kyle
What you're capable of doing.
Kyle
It's just you and the outside world.
Kyle
So that's what I love doing the most.
Kyle
Is.
Matt Gilhooly
Is that like a thought cleansing?
Kyle
Absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly
Experience for you, too.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you process thoughts or you kind of erase and just run and do your thing?
Kyle
I think it's more of a processing the thoughts.
Kyle
You're just going through things and just, you know, going through life.
Kyle
And I.
Matt Gilhooly
It's like journaling without, like.
Matt Gilhooly
But exactly running.
Kyle
Yep.
Kyle
Exactly.
Matt Gilhooly
In a way.
Kyle
Yeah.
Kyle
It's just very.
Matt Gilhooly
No, I mean, that makes sense.
Kyle
Meditative.
Matt Gilhooly
But you were running your whole life, right?
Kyle
No, I just.
Kyle
Technically, I just started running.
Matt Gilhooly
No, but, like, metaphorically.
Kyle
There you go.
Kyle
Exactly.
Kyle
Yes, I was.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like.
Matt Gilhooly
And now you're running with purpose.
Matt Gilhooly
Now you're running because you choose to.
Matt Gilhooly
To see how far you can go.
Matt Gilhooly
Whereas your whole life, you are running from triple b and or running, you know, like, to the next thing that maybe can make everyone love you, maybe can impress everyone, maybe can show everyone that they were wrong.
Matt Gilhooly
And now you're like, now I'm gonna just run because it helps me.
Kyle
Well, I think so.
Kyle
Just to put in a little another metaphor, I think I was running away from myself, as opposed to.
Kyle
I think I just turned around and started running towards myself inside myself.
Kyle
And so I think that's a big thing that I did.
Matt Gilhooly
That little fire that I was like, you had some kind of fire.
Matt Gilhooly
It's like, now you're running to light it up even more.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, that's cool.
Kyle
Yeah, that's the title of my book is wandering Spark.
Kyle
And that's kind of like, why I wrote a, like, had that title, because I had that little spark inside me.
Kyle
It could have gone either way, though.
Kyle
Like, could have.
Kyle
I could have blew myself up and.
Kyle
But it was a spark inside me that, you know, flourished and blossomed.
Matt Gilhooly
I.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Just for full disclosure to everyone listening, I choose not to know too much about the people that I speak to on the podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
So I'm not, like a jerk.
Matt Gilhooly
I just don't want to know too much because I really want these conversations to unfold in the way that they have.
Matt Gilhooly
So I think it's interesting that I kind of saw that, and now that's your title.
Kyle
No, I appreciate it, actually.
Kyle
That reinforces that.
Kyle
It was a good title for me.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
The thing about your story is that although unique to you, it's probably unfortunately not unique to a lot of people in a similar.
Matt Gilhooly
The way that they felt growing up and the way that that affected them as they tried to go through each stage of life, if you will.
Matt Gilhooly
But you did the right thing, in my opinion, by putting it out there for the world to see so that other people can see.
Matt Gilhooly
Oh, he went through all this, but look what he's doing now.
Matt Gilhooly
Look what he did for himself.
Matt Gilhooly
Look how he turned this around.
Matt Gilhooly
Maybe I can take one of those tools from his toolkit and try it in my own world to, like, make my life feel the way that feels most human, if we will.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, maybe it's not running, maybe it's not journaling, but maybe it's something that they read that you.
Matt Gilhooly
That you also do, and they choose to do that.
Matt Gilhooly
So I think.
Matt Gilhooly
I think you've made that terrible situation into something that can be really valuable for other people, not just yourself.
Kyle
Right.
Kyle
Thank you.
Matt Gilhooly
So, yeah, no, I think it's a similar vein to.
Matt Gilhooly
I know you said, like, something about it was, like, somewhat selfish because it was healing in a way.
Matt Gilhooly
For me, this podcast is somewhat selfish as well, because every conversation I have has this little element of healing, that eight year old version of me that just felt like he was the only kid, and so it's just such a valuable experience and so relatable in a terrible way because humans shouldn't have to go through all these things that we go through.
Matt Gilhooly
But I guess that's part of the journey that each of us has on this earth.
Kyle
And I think us being like, being in service to others, you know, I'm sure in the book you're doing the podcast.
Kyle
I think that's really helpful too.
Kyle
Like, selfishly is fulfilling, but also being a service, just trying to help out of as much as you can.
Matt Gilhooly
And I think the more that we do it, like, we discovered this decades into our journeys, right.
Matt Gilhooly
But I think the more that we can do it, maybe the younger generations can pick that up early on and then they don't have to wait till they're in their thirties and forties to kind of really manifest the change that they want to see in themselves, but also in the people around them.
Matt Gilhooly
So I think by what we're doing, I see that as the hope that comes from it.
Kyle
That's my hope as well.
Kyle
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
So if people want to read your book and stuff, how do we get that?
Matt Gilhooly
How do we figure that out?
Kyle
So my book is on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
Kyle
Wandering Spark is the title of it.
Kyle
And then all my social medias is Kyle v.
Kyle
Robinson.
Kyle
On all my social medias, on everything.
Matt Gilhooly
Awesome.
Kyle
Find me.
Kyle
Say hi.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, yeah, definitely connect with Kyle.
Matt Gilhooly
Before I let you go, I do want to ask you a question, and I'm trying to think of who, if this version of Kyle could go back to the version of Kyle that's sitting in that in school suspension.
Matt Gilhooly
And just like, how do I.
Matt Gilhooly
I gotta be good, and I have to make it through, and I.
Matt Gilhooly
How do I figure that?
Matt Gilhooly
Is there anything that you would want to tell him?
Kyle
Well, so it's funny you say that.
Kyle
I actually have talked to him before, and I do, you know, through therapy.
Kyle
I don't know if you're familiar with ifs therapy, internal family systems, where I do go back and I do talk to him.
Kyle
I have told him that, you know, and just tell them that I am here for you.
Kyle
Somebody is here for you.
Kyle
I talk to that four year old more often, you know, telling them that I am here for you.
Kyle
You are worthy and, like, you are loved, because I didn't.
Kyle
I didn't feel loved for a large, long portion of my life.
Kyle
And so I talk to them often, to be honest with you, and I let them know that I'm here for you.
Kyle
So just knowing that, you know, they're still part of me.
Kyle
And they're just like.
Kyle
And just knowing that they have somebody.
Kyle
Because growing up, I felt like I didn't have anybody.
Kyle
Like, I felt like no one was there for me.
Kyle
And so I didn't know that at the time.
Kyle
I didn't know what I was looking for.
Kyle
And so it's nice to tell them that I am there for them.
Kyle
And, you know, I'm an adult now, and you're gonna be okay, and then I love you.
Matt Gilhooly
That is probably what they.
Matt Gilhooly
What that version of you needed to hear, because you were told what love was, but you weren't shown in a way that maybe you understand now as an adult and the self love and those pieces that come along with it.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, it's so interesting.
Matt Gilhooly
I think more people that I talk to, to are doing what you do and have those conversations with those people.
Matt Gilhooly
So I'm glad that you're doing that and you regularly do it.
Matt Gilhooly
I think it's such a healthy practice that probably the 18 year old version of you would not think was anything real.
Matt Gilhooly
Correct.
Matt Gilhooly
I think we would be like, what?
Matt Gilhooly
What are you talking about?
Matt Gilhooly
Why would you do that?
Matt Gilhooly
But it's just such a valuable experience.
Matt Gilhooly
So thank you for sharing your story in this way, in the way that you do.
Matt Gilhooly
And I look forward to reading your book and reading in between all the pieces that you probably had to skip over for this podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
It's really an important thing you're doing.
Matt Gilhooly
So thank you for that.
Kyle
No, man, I appreciate you let me share my story.
Kyle
And thank you so much.
Kyle
You're doing a great, great service here on your podcast.
Kyle
So thank you.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, I appreciate that.
Matt Gilhooly
I will accept that.
Matt Gilhooly
If you heard Kyle's story today and you know someone in your life that might benefit from hearing his story, we would love it if you would share this episode with them.
Matt Gilhooly
That would be super valuable if it helped you reach out to Kyle.
Matt Gilhooly
Tell him.
Matt Gilhooly
Tell him so.
Matt Gilhooly
Tell him that you related to something that he said.
Matt Gilhooly
I think he will also enjoy that.
Matt Gilhooly
And with that, I'm going to say goodbye, and I will be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
Thanks again, Kyle.
Kyle
Thank you.
Kyle
Goodbye, everybody.
Matt Gilhooly
For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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