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Oct. 1, 2024
When Vision Fades, Stories Emerge: How Tarris Marie Became an Author
Taris Marie's life took a dramatic turn when she lost her sight, a moment that challenged her deeply and led her to question her purpose. At her lowest point, she found herself asking God for guidance and was inspired by an unexpected answer: to write a book. Despite never having considered this path before, Taris embraced it wholeheartedly, channeling her creative energy into becoming a published author.
Taris Marie's life took a dramatic turn when she lost her sight, a moment that challenged her deeply and led her to question her purpose. At her lowest point, she found herself asking God for guidance and was inspired by an unexpected answer: to write a book. Despite never having considered this path before, Taris embraced it wholeheartedly, channeling her creative energy into becoming a published author. Her journey from a successful career in fashion to writing women's crime novels is a testament to her resilience and adaptability. Throughout this episode, Taris shares how her faith and newfound creative spirit helped her navigate life's unexpected shifts, ultimately leading her to a fulfilling new chapter.
Takeaways:
- Taris Marie's story highlights the power of resilience and adaptability in the face of unexpected life challenges.
- Her journey from a successful fashion career to becoming a published author shows the transformative power of creativity.
- The episode emphasizes the importance of finding purpose and meaning in life, even when faced with adversity.
- Taris' experience illustrates how faith and spirituality can provide strength and guidance during difficult times.
- It is crucial to embrace change and remain open to new opportunities that life may present.
- Listening to one's inner voice and following unexpected paths can lead to fulfilling and meaningful outcomes.
Guest Bio:
Tarris Marie is a novelist, screenplay writer, motivational speaker, and actress from Gary, IN. With a degree from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business and a background in journalism from Florida A&M University, Tarris has carved a diverse career path. She resides in Houston, Texas, where she is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., and is a devoted mother and wife.
Connect with Tarris Marie:
Resources: To listen in on more conversations about pivotal moments that changed lives forever, subscribe to "The Life Shift" on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate the show 5 stars and leave a review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Mentioned in this episode:
Thank you to Ear Worthy - Ear Worthy Independent Podcast Awards
https://podnews.net/press-release/ear-worthy-awards-2024
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
Chapters
00:00 - None
00:40 - Intro: Meet Taris Marie
00:41 - A Dream Career in Fashion
15:10 - The Diagnosis: Stargard's Disease
17:32 - Facing the Reality and Struggles
22:47 - A Spiritual Awakening
23:54 - Rediscovering Purpose Through Writing
39:18 - The Journey to Becoming an Author
45:18 - Living Authentically and Embracing Change
55:53 - Outro: A Message of Hope
Transcript
Tarris Marie
So I woke up.
Tarris Marie
No lie, looked at my phone, and I was like.
Taris Marie
And I started scrolling, and I couldn't see right.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, it's happening.
Tarris Marie
Like, the one thing that he said wouldn't happen, it's happening, you know, and I just started freaking out, and it was just very, very dramatic.
Taris Marie
Traumatic, dramatic.
Taris Marie
All the things.
Matt Gilhooly
Today's guest is Terrace Marie.
Matt Gilhooly
She is, in my opinion, a woman of resilience, creativity, and truly unyielding strengthen.
Matt Gilhooly
In this episode, Taris shares her journey from her dream career in fashion to facing the challenges brought by Stargard's disease, which is an inherited condition that affected her vision.
Matt Gilhooly
Despite these hurdles, Taris has embraced her journey with, I think, courage.
Matt Gilhooly
That's nothing short of inspiring.
Matt Gilhooly
Her story weaves in themes of adaptability, her faith, one major spiritual moment, and creative expression.
Matt Gilhooly
She transitions from this successful career and fashion to becoming a published author of women's crime novels.
Matt Gilhooly
Throughout the conversation, Tariss Faith and creative spirit are top of mind, and she shares how they guided her through her life shifts.
Matt Gilhooly
It is both of our hopes that this episode helps you feel less alone in your journey when challenges get in the way of your dreams or when they're actually guiding you in a new direction.
Matt Gilhooly
Without further ado, here is my conversation with Taris Marie.
Matt Gilhooly
I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is the life shift.
Matt Gilhooly
Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello, my friends.
Matt Gilhooly
Welcome to the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
I am here with Taris.
Matt Gilhooly
Hello.
Taris Marie
Hi.
Matt Gilhooly
Thank you for joining today.
Matt Gilhooly
The Life Shift podcast is, like this wonderful journey that I just never expected for myself.
Matt Gilhooly
And you're the 150th person that I've been able to interview on this show, and I'm just so blessed.
Taris Marie
Congratulations.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, thank you.
Matt Gilhooly
It has been quite a journey.
Matt Gilhooly
And just for anyone listening, before we get into your story, the life shift podcast exists because when I was eight years old, my mom was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Matt Gilhooly
And at that moment in my life, when my dad sat me down and told me, everything in my life shifted from what it was going to be to what it became.
Matt Gilhooly
Because my parents were divorced, we lived in different states, I lived with my mom full time.
Matt Gilhooly
Everything changed.
Matt Gilhooly
And so growing up, I didn't really have the resources or I guess maybe the time period, people weren't talking about mental health or grief.
Matt Gilhooly
And I was a kid, and people thought kids bounced back and all those things that come along with losing someone, and I was like, do other people have this line in the sand kind of moment in which everything changes.
Matt Gilhooly
And, you know, as a grown up now, I realize that people have lots of those.
Matt Gilhooly
They have different ones and how they change them.
Matt Gilhooly
And I've just had this wonderful experience on the life shift podcast of talking to people like you about these moments and how, as an individual, these moments can change us.
Matt Gilhooly
Either that's in a good way or a bad way.
Matt Gilhooly
And so thank you again for just wanting to share your story in this way.
Taris Marie
Thank you for having me.
Matt Gilhooly
It is going to be a good conversation.
Matt Gilhooly
I think some of your story is something that maybe people can't relate to directly.
Matt Gilhooly
But I know for a fact that parts of how you felt and the things that came around that people will be able to completely relate to, because it turns out as humans, we have a lot of the same kind of feelings about different moments in our lives.
Matt Gilhooly
So I'm excited to hear your story and what you've done with your pivotal moment.
Matt Gilhooly
Before we do that, though, maybe you can tell us a little bit about who you are in 2024 without giving away too much.
Taris Marie
Okay, so my name is Taris Murray.
Taris Marie
I am a published author, and I write right now women's crime novels, and I'm a wife and a mother of two.
Matt Gilhooly
Maybe you can, and this is up to you where you take us, but maybe you can kind of paint the picture of who Taris Washington, you know, before this life shifting moment that really changed everything for you.
Matt Gilhooly
And we'll go from there.
Taris Marie
Okay.
Taris Marie
I'm a midwestern girl.
Taris Marie
Actually, originally, I'm from Gary, Indiana.
Taris Marie
I moved to Houston, Texas about eleven years ago.
Taris Marie
Prior to that, I lived in Dallas for a year, and I lived in Atlanta, Georgia.
Taris Marie
And career wise, I had my dream career, which was in fashion.
Taris Marie
I started off as an assistant buyer, and I worked in the fashion industry for 15 years.
Taris Marie
I did different things, like merchandising, buying.
Taris Marie
I was a merchandise planner.
Taris Marie
And so I had, as far as my career goes, I achieved them, and it was something that I was always interested in.
Taris Marie
And as a young girl, I used to draw little sketches and stuff like that.
Taris Marie
So it was, I would say, a dream job for me.
Taris Marie
And so I was doing that.
Taris Marie
And then also, as I said earlier, I'm married.
Taris Marie
So I had my husband, I had my two children, and so that was my life.
Matt Gilhooly
You were checking all the boxes.
Matt Gilhooly
Were you kind of like, feeling like you were doing the thing?
Taris Marie
That's it.
Taris Marie
I was making the money I wanted to make.
Taris Marie
I was, you know, had the career that I wanted, and I felt like I was accomplishing everything that I had in my mind of what my life was going to be like.
Taris Marie
And that's pretty much now.
Taris Marie
There were other things that happened prior to that, but right before my pivotal moment, that is what was going on in my life.
Taris Marie
So.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, growing up, you said you had dreamed of this since you were, like, six years old or something like that, drawing things, and then you were making the life happen that you had always dreamed of.
Matt Gilhooly
Were you always a go getter and someone, that achievement was a thing?
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
So I was raised by my grandparents, and my grandfather and my grandmother both were readers.
Taris Marie
They loved to read, and so.
Taris Marie
And they exposed me to the arts.
Taris Marie
So my grandfather loved musicals, and so I love musicals now.
Taris Marie
And so I kind of had this balanced life, if that makes sense, when it comes to education as well as the arts.
Taris Marie
And so I used to do a lot of things.
Taris Marie
Like I mentioned earlier, I used to draw little sketches, like fashion sketches.
Taris Marie
I also used to, like, create movies.
Taris Marie
And, I mean, I was just a child with a big imagination, but I always had, like I said, this balance between business and my artistic world.
Taris Marie
So.
Matt Gilhooly
So it wasn't always like, chase the next dream, the next achievement.
Matt Gilhooly
It was like you were living like the dream but also comfortable in the dream, and not because a lot of.
Matt Gilhooly
A lot of the people I talked to, even myself, myself, my example is probably more trauma induced of, like, having to achieve so that people, like, accepted or didn't abandon me in that moment.
Matt Gilhooly
But a lot of people I talked to, it was like they achieved something and they didn't take the time to sit in it and enjoy it.
Matt Gilhooly
It was more like, what can I do next?
Matt Gilhooly
What can I do next?
Matt Gilhooly
Were you someone that sat in the moment and celebrated yourself and gave yourself your flowers, or was it always onto the next level for you?
Taris Marie
I would say it was actually always on to the next level.
Taris Marie
You know, I want to make sure that, you know, when I say, like, my grandparents raised me, my mom left when I was six years old, and so when she left, then I was then with my grandparents, and they raised me.
Taris Marie
But I did.
Taris Marie
So I did not come from the perfect or I don't want to stereotypical upbringing, if that makes sense.
Taris Marie
And I did have, you know, certain issues and certain things that I did have to overcome as a young child.
Taris Marie
But I feel that my grandparents did a really good job of making sure that they provided a home for me that gave me the foundation that I needed in order to achieve some of the things, even though we did not have a lot of money, you know, I wanted to be a dancer also.
Taris Marie
So, like you were saying, dream chaser.
Taris Marie
And I remember my grandmother took me to the secondhand store, is what we called it.
Taris Marie
And that's where I got some tap shoes.
Taris Marie
And then my grandfather was showing me old movies like Stormy Weather and the Nicholas brothers and Gregory Hines.
Taris Marie
And he was like, they taught themselves how to tap dance.
Taris Marie
You could teach yourself.
Taris Marie
So I used to be down in the basement trying to teach myself how to dance, you know, so I tried to make the best of my life of what I had at the moment.
Taris Marie
That's something that has always been a part of me.
Taris Marie
I would say, even now, I'll get to my pivotal moment in a second.
Taris Marie
But anytime something would come at me, I would be able to take it and turn it around and find a positive in it and try to grow from it.
Taris Marie
Even as a child, I would say, and my faith kept me grounded in that.
Matt Gilhooly
I would say, is that something that came from your grandparents as well?
Taris Marie
Actually, my faith in going to church came from my aunts.
Taris Marie
So where I lived, I grew up where my cousins lived down the street.
Taris Marie
I grew up in a neighborhood with a bunch of kids.
Taris Marie
And, you know, I used to go outside, ride my bike, do all the things.
Taris Marie
And so my aunt would.
Taris Marie
Aunt Shirley would pick me up with my cousins and then would take me to church.
Taris Marie
And that's where I got my foundation from as far as spiritually.
Matt Gilhooly
And then your grandparents gave you, like, this safety.
Matt Gilhooly
It almost seems like they were.
Matt Gilhooly
They made, like, a safe space for you to explore and dream and do the things that you wanted.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, I'm making assumptions here, but is that true?
Taris Marie
That's very true.
Taris Marie
That's very true.
Matt Gilhooly
I feel like a lot of kids would not be able to find, like, the silver lining or the beauty in the madness and those kind of things if they didn't feel safe.
Matt Gilhooly
So it sounds like you had a space where, like, hey, you want to do this?
Matt Gilhooly
Try it.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, like, whereas a lot of people are like.
Matt Gilhooly
Or I felt very much like these were my only roads to go.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you have to go to business school.
Matt Gilhooly
You have to do this.
Matt Gilhooly
You have to do this.
Matt Gilhooly
That's it.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I didn't have.
Matt Gilhooly
And maybe I did, but I didn't feel the space in which I could explore those things in a safe way because would it lead to a good job?
Matt Gilhooly
Would it do, you know, like, those kind of things?
Taris Marie
And so now you just hit the hell.
Taris Marie
Not the hell, but you hit the nail on the head.
Taris Marie
Now, that was my childhood now, as I got older, that's when my grandparents say, okay, all of that was cute.
Taris Marie
Now it's time for you to hone in.
Taris Marie
What are you going to do?
Taris Marie
All that other stuff is a hobby, you know.
Taris Marie
And when I went to college, I guess that could be my first moment.
Taris Marie
I went to Florida a and M university, and I was on a journalism scholarship, and still writing didn't hit me.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Taris Marie
And so anyway, I went to a symposium, and they were showing the salaries of journalism majors versus a business major.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, I cannot graduate from college making that money.
Taris Marie
I need to make.
Taris Marie
I needed to go to get into the business school, you know.
Taris Marie
And I called my grandmother.
Taris Marie
I said, oh, my God.
Taris Marie
They just showed the average salary coming out of college for the school of journalism.
Taris Marie
And it's.
Taris Marie
It was 13 or $15,000, something like that.
Taris Marie
She's like, oh, hell, no.
Taris Marie
You gotta find something else, you know?
Taris Marie
And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie
You know, so then I had to pivot, right?
Taris Marie
And so that's when I looked up Indiana university.
Taris Marie
They had a 98% placement rate for minorities at the time through the Kelley School of business.
Taris Marie
And so I always made good grades, like I told you, I always had a balance between the arts and the business.
Taris Marie
And so I said, you know, for long term, for, you know, Sal, for my.
Taris Marie
To get the salary that I wanted, then I need to make sure that I, you know, built that foundation in college through the business school.
Taris Marie
So my grandmother, definitely.
Taris Marie
So I changed my whole.
Taris Marie
So.
Taris Marie
So I did not.
Taris Marie
I walked away from my scholarship, went to Indiana University, got accepted into the Kelley school of business, which I do not regret.
Taris Marie
Okay.
Taris Marie
But that is where I first did my first pivot.
Matt Gilhooly
It's interesting, too, because, you know, you said you had this balance between art and.
Matt Gilhooly
What'd you say?
Matt Gilhooly
Art and business.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Matt Gilhooly
But also, like, it's.
Matt Gilhooly
You had this balance between dreams and reality that you kind of, like, married to at the same time, in the sense of like, yeah, it's great to dream, but also you have to live and you have to be able to do the things that you want to do that involve the dreams.
Matt Gilhooly
And so it's like you have this nice balance of all these things.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like, I'm very jealous in a way.
Matt Gilhooly
That's very good of you.
Taris Marie
Please don't be.
Taris Marie
Because, listen, what I instill in my children now is when I went to my grandmother, and it's fine the way everything worked out, of course, but I told her what the average salary was, right.
Taris Marie
But it could have been.
Taris Marie
You've been doing this all your life, or don't think in terms of average, what.
Taris Marie
You know what I mean?
Taris Marie
Like, where's your passion?
Taris Marie
And so that is a conversation.
Taris Marie
I didn't have anyone talking to me in that way.
Taris Marie
It was more so about, okay, you know, you gotta make money, period.
Taris Marie
And so.
Taris Marie
And I knew I had to make money, you know, so it was more about me.
Taris Marie
But like you said, I still was able to find a career where I was making the money that I wanted.
Taris Marie
And I stepped away from the arts, not so much in college, because I still was in plays and did things like that.
Taris Marie
But my focus was on my career and making money.
Taris Marie
And that's where.
Taris Marie
What happened?
Taris Marie
When I graduated from college and I told you, I started off an assistant buyer program, and I continued that until I hit the bathroom floor.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, tell me that must be a moment.
Taris Marie
Okay.
Taris Marie
So before I hit the bathroom floor, when I had my.
Taris Marie
It was actually when I had my son, I found out I had a disease called star guard's disease.
Taris Marie
And what happened was my vision was starting to be off.
Taris Marie
And they tell you when you have a child that it can affect your vision.
Taris Marie
But after a year went by and things are getting really distorted, I was like, this doesn't feel right.
Taris Marie
And so, long story short, I went to a retina specialist, and I got tested, and I found out I had an inherited disease called Star guard's disease, which takes away your central vision.
Taris Marie
It keeps your peripheral intact, but you lose whatever it is that you're looking directly at, and it is progressive.
Taris Marie
And so at the time, when I was diagnosed, I still had most of my vision in both eyes.
Taris Marie
The doctor at that time was preparing me by.
Taris Marie
First of all.
Taris Marie
Cause I just broke down crying.
Taris Marie
Of course.
Taris Marie
The go getter at me, you know, was like, okay, so what's the.
Taris Marie
So when he told me what my diagnosis was, I'm like, okay, so what surgery do I need?
Taris Marie
Hmm?
Matt Gilhooly
How do we fix this?
Taris Marie
Yeah, what.
Taris Marie
And that's like, can I get some new eyeballs?
Taris Marie
You know, like, what?
Taris Marie
What do I need to do to get new eyeballs?
Taris Marie
Like, what is it?
Taris Marie
And so he's like, there's nothing you can do.
Taris Marie
Like, it's part of your DNA, and no matter what eyes you get, it's going to affect, you know.
Matt Gilhooly
Interesting.
Taris Marie
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Is it fairly common or is it.
Taris Marie
This is something.
Taris Marie
Both parents have to have it, or at least have the gene.
Taris Marie
My mother does nothing have it at all.
Taris Marie
And I don't know my father, so I'm not for sure if he, you know, is walking around with it or not.
Taris Marie
But as a fact, he either is a carrier or he has it.
Taris Marie
And my mother is a carrier because she doesn't have star guards where you can, you know, see it.
Taris Marie
So.
Taris Marie
So, yeah, it was mind blowing, but at the time, when I was diagnosed, I still was able to see.
Taris Marie
Like, I still had my.
Taris Marie
Most of my vision, so it didn't really affect me.
Taris Marie
And so the doctor handed me a Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass and was like, all right, so this is going to be your future.
Taris Marie
You better learn braille.
Taris Marie
And I was like, what?
Taris Marie
Like, it was.
Taris Marie
It was very traumatic.
Matt Gilhooly
That's not very good bedside manner we got there, so.
Taris Marie
Oh, yeah.
Taris Marie
So, anyway, fast forward.
Taris Marie
Oh, and then I said, am I going to be able to wake up and not be able to read my text messages?
Taris Marie
I remember specifically asking that question, like, no, it doesn't work like that.
Taris Marie
It worked like that for me.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Oh, really?
Matt Gilhooly
It was like an overnight.
Taris Marie
So I woke up.
Taris Marie
No lie, looked at my phone, and I was like.
Taris Marie
And I started scrolling and I couldn't see.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, it's happening.
Taris Marie
Like, the one thing that he said wouldn't happen, it's happening, you know, and I just started freaking out, and it was just very, very dramatic.
Taris Marie
Traumatic.
Taris Marie
Dramatic.
Taris Marie
All the things.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
I can't imagine.
Matt Gilhooly
Was it up to that moment, though?
Matt Gilhooly
Was it.
Matt Gilhooly
Did you notice that things were progressing or.
Taris Marie
Okay, so things were progressing, but as I said, I still had acuity in both eyes to where I still was able to drive.
Taris Marie
I was still able to do those things.
Taris Marie
And, like, I.
Taris Marie
So what happened was, which is also very rare, that one little central vision spot where I was able to see, it just, like, disappeared.
Taris Marie
And so then my central vision just went black, you know?
Taris Marie
And so I had a much better doctor at that time.
Taris Marie
And so he had told me that, you know, well, we knew this was going to come, and so he referred me to a low vision specialist.
Taris Marie
I had to call my job, and I was like, you're not going to believe this, but I woke up.
Taris Marie
I couldn't read my text message, you know, so it was just a whole situation.
Matt Gilhooly
Were they aware?
Matt Gilhooly
Was that something that, like, you had given anyone notice about that?
Taris Marie
Yeah, they knew, because once I was kind of, like, letting them know, you know, I had worked for this company for a while, and so I had told them when things were going on because we were all, you know, close what was happening.
Taris Marie
So I was like, you're not going to believe this, like, my whole, like, I can't read my text messages.
Taris Marie
And, you know, so they were like, well, do what you got to do, you know, whatever.
Taris Marie
So I took some time off.
Taris Marie
I got devices.
Taris Marie
I learned how to see through these devices.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, yeah, grooving.
Taris Marie
I'm back.
Taris Marie
You know, I went back to work.
Taris Marie
I had these big giant screens, and, you know, we made all these accommodations.
Taris Marie
What happened was, when I got to my job, I would say, and this is before remote working.
Taris Marie
Remote was part of our culture.
Taris Marie
Not most of the companies still weren't doing remote.
Taris Marie
I had.
Taris Marie
I couldn't drive at night, of course.
Taris Marie
You know, I had got these bioptics that allowed me to do driving, not highway driving.
Taris Marie
I couldn't do nighttime driving, and I had limitations on, you know, screen time and things like that.
Taris Marie
Just to make a long story short, when I got back to work, I wasn't.
Taris Marie
It wasn't very well received because of the accommodations.
Matt Gilhooly
Or did you, did you feel like you were, like the old version of you, like, working and doing the things that you were doing, or did you also notice that you weren't able to do some of the functions that you needed to?
Taris Marie
I will say that when you're working with numbers and you have all these different spreadsheets, right, when you're giving a presentation and you're saying, okay, here's the number.
Taris Marie
This is my forecast.
Taris Marie
And I would stay up late at night and prepare everything, and then they would say, okay, well, tell me what it was last year.
Taris Marie
Week two, day four and five.
Taris Marie
Well, for someone who has a vision impairment, it's going to take me.
Taris Marie
So I'm standing in front of all these people, and then my anxiety starts to get up, and I'm, like, trying to figure it out.
Taris Marie
Oh, you know, people start doing that.
Taris Marie
And so it created this unsafe culture for me, and I ended up.
Taris Marie
It was.
Taris Marie
It was very.
Taris Marie
So that was.
Taris Marie
Started my slow descent.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
Emotionally, because I came back ready to rock and roll.
Taris Marie
And then when I didn't get the response that I thought I was going to get, and I started feeling myself start to descend, so I went on disability.
Matt Gilhooly
What does that do to your psyche?
Taris Marie
No.
Taris Marie
Well, I was told that I couldn't do the job.
Taris Marie
And then I asked, well, what can I do?
Taris Marie
And they were like, well, you can't even work in the mail room.
Taris Marie
Cause you can't see the mail, you know?
Taris Marie
So it was really very traumatic.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, does that, like, break you?
Matt Gilhooly
Cause it sounds like you were pretty confident, and I was going into it.
Taris Marie
But I'm telling you, once it got to that moment, I was almost at rock bottom.
Taris Marie
Almost.
Matt Gilhooly
So it breaks you to a point of, like, you don't like soul searching, essentially, who am I?
Taris Marie
What value do I bring to my.
Taris Marie
So what does this look like?
Taris Marie
If I'm not good enough to work in the mail room, what am I going to, like?
Taris Marie
What can I do?
Taris Marie
And these are all the questions I was asking myself.
Taris Marie
And in the meantime, I'm still a wife.
Taris Marie
I'm a mom.
Taris Marie
I have these two small children.
Taris Marie
And so I'm like, well, let me try the, you know, the housewife and try to do that.
Taris Marie
And I tried that, and it wasn't quite me.
Taris Marie
And as I started to, like you said, it's just started to go downhill with my mind.
Taris Marie
I felt broken inside.
Taris Marie
Things that I used to could see, I can no longer see.
Taris Marie
I start looking.
Taris Marie
Instead of thinking about looking at things from a positive, I just started seeing so many things, you know, like what I couldn't do, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
And I think it's hard not to be that way.
Matt Gilhooly
I would imagine that a lot of people would feel that way.
Taris Marie
Yeah.
Taris Marie
And so I got.
Taris Marie
I went down to the floor, and I remember I was on the bathroom floor, and I was like, what's my purpose?
Taris Marie
Like, you know?
Taris Marie
And I just.
Taris Marie
I just didn't feel like I was even worthy to be here, to be honest.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, you know, this is it.
Taris Marie
Like, maybe that's just it.
Taris Marie
And that's when I heard God say, get up.
Taris Marie
Truly.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie
And so I got up, I looked in the mirror.
Taris Marie
I didn't recognize myself at all.
Taris Marie
I was like, you know, dirty hair, you know?
Taris Marie
Cause when you're depressed, you don't.
Matt Gilhooly
You don't take care of yourself.
Taris Marie
You don't.
Taris Marie
And I didn't recognize.
Taris Marie
I truly didn't.
Taris Marie
And so the one thing.
Taris Marie
The first thing I did when I was like, all right.
Taris Marie
I heard God tell me to get up, let me shower, you know, so I just went and kind of, like, cleansed, washed my hair.
Taris Marie
And then I heard God say, write a book.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, okay.
Taris Marie
And before that, let me tell you.
Taris Marie
Let me tell you what I said.
Taris Marie
I said, God, tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it.
Taris Marie
Not only will I not get on that floor, I will help as many people as I can to not get on that floor.
Taris Marie
And then he said, write a book.
Matt Gilhooly
Was this, like, your first experience in which you actually heard of, like, a yemenite voice of God of telling you, like, or helping you along?
Matt Gilhooly
Or was this something that, like, you've always kind of communed in that way and always heard stuff?
Taris Marie
So, honestly, I had been going to church since I was a little girl, and I thought that hearing the voice of God was only for pastors and things like that.
Taris Marie
So I did not know that I would even be in a position to be able to hear a voice.
Taris Marie
You know what I mean?
Taris Marie
I don't know.
Taris Marie
I thought it was just for pastors because I would hear it at church, you know, God said, or, you know, something like that.
Taris Marie
So when I heard that voice, and it was clear as day, and then when I heard, you know, write a book, I said, okay, that's it.
Taris Marie
You know, I watched my hair and I said, I'm gonna write a book.
Matt Gilhooly
Was this ever something on your list?
Taris Marie
This is, like, not on my list.
Matt Gilhooly
Totally brand new.
Taris Marie
But what I will say is, when I went back to go look in my garage and I looked at some of my old, like, things from when I was a little girl.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Taris Marie
I found in middle school a book called from my heart, mind, body and soul by Terrace Marie Rochelle Smith.
Taris Marie
That was my name.
Taris Marie
So that's what I saw.
Taris Marie
And I was like, oh, my God.
Taris Marie
And I did not remember writing that, right?
Taris Marie
So when it was like, this book is about blah, blah, blah.
Taris Marie
So it was like I was trying to get, you know, I guess it was something in me that I didn't even realize that was there.
Taris Marie
And then I told you I had a journalism scholarship to go to Florida A and M university.
Taris Marie
And so I guess it was just something I was keeping buried that I just didn't, you know, bring to life.
Taris Marie
But I sure heard it when I was in the shower.
Taris Marie
So when I heard that you, you know, I'm approaching 40, and I'm like, all right.
Taris Marie
So I sit in front of my computer in front of this blank piece of paper, or, you know, I got a big old screen that likes this big.
Taris Marie
And so I'm, like, looking at it, I'm like, you know, got my magnification on at 800.
Matt Gilhooly
So, like, you're like, what do I do?
Taris Marie
What do I do?
Taris Marie
You know?
Taris Marie
Because I told you my career and everything was in business.
Matt Gilhooly
It's so in fashion, it's like, what?
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, how he could have at least told you what kind of book to write.
Taris Marie
And so let me tell you about the conflict.
Taris Marie
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Taris Marie
And so I was like, does this mean I suppose I write christian literature?
Taris Marie
Like, I don't know.
Taris Marie
You know what I mean?
Taris Marie
So I didn't quite know.
Matt Gilhooly
Or your story.
Matt Gilhooly
I would imagine a lot of people would feel that compelled to tell your story.
Taris Marie
But you know what I did?
Taris Marie
I just opened my mind, and that's when I started hearing these characters talk to me.
Taris Marie
And so then they were like, you know, going on these adventures and doing all these things, and a lot of them come from broken places, you know?
Taris Marie
And so I just started writing, and literally, I haven't stopped.
Taris Marie
That was Juneteenth 2020.
Taris Marie
I write every single day.
Taris Marie
I published my first novel.
Matt Gilhooly
What a great day to start, too.
Taris Marie
Oh, and I didn't even realize it was Juneteenth.
Matt Gilhooly
Juneteenth.
Taris Marie
This was Covid, right?
Taris Marie
This was during COVID Everybody was on lockdown, and so my air conditioner wasn't working in the house.
Taris Marie
It was just crazy, right?
Taris Marie
And then I'm, like, super sweaty and hot, and so I'm like, you know, waiting on God to tell me what to do.
Taris Marie
And so then I was like, you know what?
Taris Marie
This is silly.
Taris Marie
Like, I don't know.
Taris Marie
And so then I was like, okay, google play Beyonce.
Taris Marie
You know, I just wanted to hear some beyonce to see what was going on.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, who doesn't?
Taris Marie
And then the song that came on was Black Parade.
Taris Marie
And so she had released that on Juneteenth.
Taris Marie
So that's when, you know, I said, okay, well, God's going to use Beyonce to talk to me.
Taris Marie
Then let me go ahead and just.
Taris Marie
And then I started moving my fingers and looking at my big screen.
Taris Marie
And like I said, I started writing, and I just have not stopped.
Taris Marie
And I write women's crime, of all things, fiction.
Taris Marie
I write fiction.
Taris Marie
Novels.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
And love it.
Taris Marie
I love.
Taris Marie
I love what I do.
Matt Gilhooly
Do you ever think that, like, maybe, like, this was just pushed down because you had a.
Matt Gilhooly
You had your sight, you had your hear, you had all the things, so you could kind of go after all those things in your childhood that you love to do, and this was just, like, something you could do.
Matt Gilhooly
And now that you had some limitations in some of the things that you were doing, now you were able to hear the voices of your characters and the other things, because you gotta speak it.
Taris Marie
That is exactly.
Taris Marie
And that's why I said, you know what it.
Taris Marie
So as I journeyed through, especially with writing, I became more.
Taris Marie
And even before the writing, let me just rewind a little bit.
Taris Marie
I was exploring, trying to figure out, like, I told you, like, who I was, what, you know, but I did notice I started smelling things, spelling, you know, the way things smelled affected me differently.
Taris Marie
Touch, you know, because when you don't have your sight, you start depending on other senses.
Taris Marie
And so being able to hone in on those other things really helps me with my writing.
Taris Marie
I talk a lot about smells, touching, and, you know, all of that.
Taris Marie
And so these are things that you can take for granted, you know, or at least I took for granted, but.
Matt Gilhooly
I think most of us do.
Taris Marie
Mm hmm.
Taris Marie
But then once, you know, you lose your, you know, certain sense.
Taris Marie
And like I said, I have my peripheral, but I don't have my central vision, which, I mean, anything you look at, you know, for me, it's just a.
Taris Marie
Is gone.
Taris Marie
So the way that I feel and the way that I see it just, it allows me to be able to pour that into my art.
Taris Marie
And so I wrote a couple screenplays as well.
Taris Marie
I played around with some.
Taris Marie
Some poetry, and, I mean, everything just started coming out of me.
Matt Gilhooly
So it was bottled up.
Matt Gilhooly
It was bottled up for a while.
Taris Marie
I mean, I.
Taris Marie
And still, I'm just continuously coming up with new ideas, coming up with new stories, and I do voice to text, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
Is that how you write your books mostly, or.
Taris Marie
I'll use, like I told you, I magnify, like, 800 on my big screen.
Taris Marie
I'm doing this because it's, like, huge.
Taris Marie
And so I'll have, like, big words, but I'm.
Taris Marie
When I.
Taris Marie
In my beginning stages, I like to talk, you know, and then just let it type it out and then I hear it back.
Taris Marie
In retrospect, I was like, I was always a listener when it came to, even when I used to.
Taris Marie
I told you, I used to be in plays in high school and in college, and I would learn my scripts through listening.
Taris Marie
I would record my voice, and then I would listen to it.
Taris Marie
And so it all kind of makes sense now.
Taris Marie
It was all leading me to this one moment in which I was able to get up off that floor, really listen and then really hear, and then hear God and to just be obedient to what he told me to do.
Taris Marie
And so my life mission now is to inspire others, because, like I said, I just, being on that floor, I don't want anyone to feel that, and I want people to know that.
Taris Marie
It's never, ever too late.
Taris Marie
It's never too late.
Taris Marie
You can achieve whatever it is you put your mind to.
Taris Marie
I mean, who knew I would have been writing stories?
Taris Marie
I never, ever.
Taris Marie
If you would have said this to me, even though, like, I told you when I was a little girl, I used to do those things but I had forgot.
Taris Marie
I mean, I didn't even remember that I had done all of that until I was just going through some of my old stuff.
Taris Marie
But if someone would have said, you're gonna be a writer, I'd be like, ha ha ha.
Taris Marie
You know, that's funny.
Taris Marie
Even though my grandma, I remember asking my grandmother, she was a nurse, and I said, if there was anything that you could do, if it wasn't nursing, what would it be?
Taris Marie
And she was like, I would have been a writer.
Taris Marie
That's what my grandma said.
Taris Marie
I thought it was the cutest thing ever, but now I'm like, see, I just believe all these things that was happening.
Taris Marie
It's all spiritual.
Taris Marie
It was just going into my spirit.
Matt Gilhooly
Are you someone that believes that you had to hit that bathroom floor to find this new journey for you, or do you think it would have been possible had you not reached the depths that you did?
Taris Marie
That's a really good question, you know, I don't know, because all I can say is, I was on that floor, so.
Taris Marie
And that was.
Matt Gilhooly
Sometimes we don't listen until we get to that, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, sometimes we don't hear the things that we need to hear until we hit that bottom, if you will.
Taris Marie
And, I mean, a lot of times, I've never heard anyone just say, oh, I was happy yesterday, and then today I'm on the floor.
Taris Marie
I mean, it's typically dissent, you know, that.
Taris Marie
You know, first you find yourself in the bed sleeping, you know, or, you know, you just find yourself just sitting on the couch first.
Taris Marie
And then, you know, it's just.
Taris Marie
It happens in stages.
Taris Marie
And so for me to, you know, like you said, I went through all those stages.
Taris Marie
I mean, I can sit here and just remember the tiredness, the feel, you know, the feeling that I had until I ended up on the floor, you know?
Taris Marie
And there's nowhere lower than that, other than death, you know?
Matt Gilhooly
Does that.
Matt Gilhooly
Looking back at those moments, does that make you celebrate where you are now even more so?
Taris Marie
Absolutely.
Taris Marie
Absolutely.
Taris Marie
I mean, even if, you know.
Taris Marie
And how do I say this?
Taris Marie
Prior to that, I never thought, and I hope this comes out properly, but I never thought that I would be a person that would end up on the floor, if that makes sense, because I was like, oh, I didn't been through so much.
Taris Marie
Like, you know, my mom left when I was a little girl.
Taris Marie
I didn't have a dad.
Taris Marie
I da da da da.
Taris Marie
Like, I did that, been there, done that, you know?
Taris Marie
And I was kind of, like, approaching life in this way to where I didn't think that I was capable of my mind getting to that point.
Matt Gilhooly
Turns out you're a human, too, right?
Taris Marie
I mean, that's it.
Matt Gilhooly
We can't predict anything.
Taris Marie
You can't.
Matt Gilhooly
You can't, you know, and you have to kind of just move through, like you said, with, like, when you can, you find these silver linings in a moment.
Matt Gilhooly
And even if it is, I showered today.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, if you're in that space, and it's like, I made a meal for the family today, you celebrate the little things.
Matt Gilhooly
Eventually, we can pull ourselves out.
Matt Gilhooly
Kind of interesting.
Matt Gilhooly
The episode that came out today, the day that we're recording this, was a gentleman, Chad foster, who at about in his twenties, he lost his vision completely.
Matt Gilhooly
And what he told.
Matt Gilhooly
Told me was that it was like this at his point in life.
Matt Gilhooly
Now it's like a gift that was presented to him in the ugliest wrapping paper that he's ever seen, because it opened his mind to things that he never even considered that he could do.
Matt Gilhooly
And now that he didn't have that one thing that so many other people do have, he was able to achieve even more than if we would just assume that we should have.
Matt Gilhooly
Like you said, kind of just, like, we just take for granted these things.
Matt Gilhooly
And now he's living out loud and, like, taught himself to ski and do all these things that I'm like, I don't even want to.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I can't even imagine doing that.
Matt Gilhooly
And so, like, I.
Matt Gilhooly
I think we.
Matt Gilhooly
Until we hit these points, I mean, I wish we could learn before, but sometimes we have to hit these points where we're like, oh, this is the good part.
Matt Gilhooly
You know?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, these are the things.
Matt Gilhooly
And even in my sense, like, losing my mom, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, a child or anything.
Matt Gilhooly
But now that I look back, now that I'm in my forties and I look back at that experience, it taught me so much, all the things that came from, that made me the person that I am today.
Matt Gilhooly
And so to your point of finding that silver lining, finding the good in the bad things, is something that we could all practice a little bit more, I think.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
And I think that it helps.
Taris Marie
You know, I love that you have this platform because it allows people to see that I'm not the only one.
Taris Marie
Right?
Taris Marie
Because when I was going through my vision, when I was losing my vision and when I woke up and could see, I felt that no one could relate to what I was going through.
Taris Marie
And so you mentioned.
Taris Marie
What's his name?
Taris Marie
Chad.
Matt Gilhooly
Chad Foster.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Taris Marie
I watched it, and so I said, oh, my God, because he went to Harvard.
Taris Marie
I mean, he did all these amazing things, and seeing that motivated me.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
A legally blind woman.
Taris Marie
And I'm seeing this man talk about all these wonderful things that he's doing and the things that he's accomplished, and so it motivated.
Taris Marie
He's a public speaker.
Taris Marie
So I'm, like, taking notes.
Matt Gilhooly
What else could I do?
Taris Marie
You know what I'm saying?
Taris Marie
Taking notes.
Taris Marie
And so.
Taris Marie
And that's what your platform did for me.
Taris Marie
So that's what the hope is as we have these conversations.
Taris Marie
And hopefully someone will be able to watch it.
Taris Marie
And even if they're not legally blind or whatever, haven't had my experience.
Taris Marie
Well, if they feel themselves, like I'm saying, going to the floor, it's like, you can stop yourself before you get there.
Taris Marie
And like you said, celebrate those small wins.
Taris Marie
And I'm going to tell you what else.
Taris Marie
I got therapy.
Matt Gilhooly
It's a good thing.
Matt Gilhooly
It's helpful.
Taris Marie
I got professional help.
Taris Marie
You know, once I got up and I was like, okay, I can't do this alone, you know, I need some help.
Taris Marie
And so I do that with no shame.
Taris Marie
I talk about that all the time.
Taris Marie
I thank my therapist.
Taris Marie
In my book, you know, she got a special acknowledgement line because she said, are you okay?
Taris Marie
And first I was like, yeah, I'm good.
Taris Marie
And then I was like, no, I'm not.
Matt Gilhooly
That right there, that's.
Matt Gilhooly
That's the important step, I think, is when we can admit to ourselves that we're not okay, and that's okay to not be okay, because, again, we're human, and life will hit you in all sorts of ways.
Matt Gilhooly
We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
Matt Gilhooly
And so, like, it's okay to not be okay.
Matt Gilhooly
And I love that, that you found therapy and you found someone that would listen to you unbiased, not that our family around us.
Taris Marie
Oh, absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly
They want to hear us, but they're not listening to us in the same way as, like, a therapist, a third party might, you know, and absolutely, sometimes we just need to be able to say the thing, and maybe we skirt around the issue with the people we love because we don't want them to be worried about us.
Matt Gilhooly
But, yeah, I'm glad that you brought up therapy.
Matt Gilhooly
I think it's so important, and I think we're, you know, in 2024, I think maybe people.
Matt Gilhooly
It's not like a stigma, maybe as much as it used to seem like it, if you admitted you were going to therapy, they were like, what's wrong with you?
Matt Gilhooly
And you can go to therapy and nothing's wrong with you, you know?
Taris Marie
Absolutely, absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly
So I love that that helped you in that way.
Matt Gilhooly
Tell me a little bit more about, like, your first book and how you got it to publishing.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, okay, like, what does that journey look like for you in this new version of Taris?
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
So, as I said, I wrote, and I started writing.
Taris Marie
I was like, oh, my God.
Taris Marie
I kind of got, you know, I'm googling.
Taris Marie
I'm going to YouTube university, and I'm doing all these things, trying to teach myself.
Taris Marie
And so I'm like, I kind of came up with a little idea, and I'm like, okay, this feels right, you know?
Taris Marie
So I start sending out my manuscript to different publishers, and this editor is like, you need a writing coach.
Taris Marie
I'm like, what?
Taris Marie
Say what?
Taris Marie
Like, I can't get this published.
Taris Marie
Like, let's go.
Taris Marie
You know, it's just like, yeah, there are some key elements that you need in order to make a novel, you know?
Taris Marie
So I call this man.
Taris Marie
He's my Yoda, my literary Yoda.
Taris Marie
And so I hired a writing coach named Pallister.
Taris Marie
He's amazing.
Taris Marie
And so he basically, he was a professor for 30 years.
Taris Marie
So even though he's a writing coach now, he was a teacher at heart.
Taris Marie
And so I was a fast learner, and I was, like, soaking in all the information.
Taris Marie
And so he just took me to school, you know, just teaching me scene development, character development and all the things.
Taris Marie
And so it took maybe about a good 90 days for me to revamp my whole manuscript.
Taris Marie
And he said, well, this looks good.
Taris Marie
Like, you know, he couldn't.
Taris Marie
We couldn't believe it, right?
Taris Marie
And so he was like, let's just do a test and see what happens and see if you can get an agent.
Taris Marie
And so I sent it out and, you know, to six different agents, and then one of them I actually, you know, got.
Taris Marie
And within a year, I had my first, like, publishing deal.
Taris Marie
It's crazy.
Taris Marie
Yeah.
Taris Marie
And so that's.
Matt Gilhooly
How does that make you feel when you get that, like, yes, you had a publishing deal?
Taris Marie
You know, I couldn't.
Taris Marie
It was.
Taris Marie
It was.
Taris Marie
I was able to sit in it, you know, and it was so.
Taris Marie
It was such a beautiful, beautiful moment for me.
Matt Gilhooly
Did that feel different than the other wins in your life?
Taris Marie
Oh, my goodness.
Taris Marie
You're asking the most wonderful questions.
Taris Marie
I would say yes, because once you've gone to that bottom place and once you do something and realize it, that it's not about me, right?
Taris Marie
Because as you.
Taris Marie
As I said, and I want to make sure I'm saying it's right, but it's not going to be perfect.
Taris Marie
But, you know, I was chasing the money originally, and, you know, I had a career, and as you can see, what happened was I still hit rock bottom, right?
Taris Marie
So it's like, all the money and all the things that I had, it didn't even matter.
Taris Marie
So once I figured out and found something that gave me a purpose where, you know, and I say, even if someone doesn't buy black Pearl, if I can help someone not get on the floor, if I can be, you know, some.
Taris Marie
Or if I can help or just someone hearing my voice or hearing my story can help them in some way, then I've done my job, right?
Taris Marie
So getting published was the icing on the cake, because when God told me to write, I didn't know where it was gonna lead me.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
I didn't know if it was just gonna be.
Taris Marie
I'm just gonna write just for fun.
Taris Marie
And even though you said, write a book, you know, I didn't know exactly what.
Taris Marie
Where it was gonna take me.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
So when I was telling, you know, friends and family, like, what my book was about, it was like, that sounds like a movie.
Taris Marie
And actually, I did get a movie deal, but I turned it down.
Taris Marie
That's a whole nother story.
Taris Marie
But, yeah.
Taris Marie
Like, it was.
Taris Marie
Everything was just right.
Taris Marie
It just felt right.
Taris Marie
And it definitely was just a beautiful moment.
Taris Marie
And more so, just about that, I was doing something that I was meant to do, you know, and that.
Taris Marie
And realizing, like I said, it is not just for me, and it's not just about me.
Taris Marie
You know, I start thinking in terms of legacy, and, you know, it's like, no one can take this from me.
Taris Marie
Like, I have a published novel.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
And I have another one that's coming out in January.
Taris Marie
Yeah.
Taris Marie
And so it's just.
Taris Marie
It's just opened the doors and just being true to who.
Taris Marie
You know, I'm in a space in this place where I'm being true to who I am, you know, no matter with the imperfections, you know, I talk a lot about that.
Taris Marie
No more mask.
Taris Marie
You know, taking the mask off.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Living out loud.
Taris Marie
Yep.
Taris Marie
Cause that's what I was doing for a while.
Taris Marie
You know, I was just like, oh, I'm good.
Taris Marie
I'm good.
Taris Marie
Everything's good.
Taris Marie
You know, when it.
Matt Gilhooly
To be fair, I think a lot of us were taught, like, society taught us to be that way.
Matt Gilhooly
So I don't think it was just you.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, I think we're all just like, you don't show your flaws, and you don't show the broken parts.
Matt Gilhooly
And, like, I'm sure you understand this now.
Matt Gilhooly
Those things are what make us interesting.
Matt Gilhooly
Those are the things that make us connect.
Taris Marie
Correct.
Matt Gilhooly
I can't relate to someone that just got this crazy promotion or some crazy award, but I sure can relate to when they're feeling, like, really crappy and, like, we can talk that through.
Matt Gilhooly
And now we both feel like humans together versus, you know, the celebrations that I think growing up, I was always taught, like, you just gotta get the next promotion.
Matt Gilhooly
You just need to buy the bigger house.
Matt Gilhooly
You just need to get a better car, you know, like, and now it's like you publishing, getting a publishing deal, getting a book published that didn't exist.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, that book didn't exist.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you created that from nothing.
Matt Gilhooly
Whereas in your.
Matt Gilhooly
In your former life, you were just getting the next job that someone else decided what that job looked like, and maybe you made it your own, but you were still kind of following some kind of formula.
Matt Gilhooly
This started with a blank page.
Taris Marie
Oh.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, and you created something that now you can celebrate and sit in and be like.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, it's kind of like, I guess, like having a kid.
Matt Gilhooly
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you created that, right?
Taris Marie
Absolutely.
Matt Gilhooly
So I can see how that would be just, like, so fulfilling in this, like, indescribable way.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
And it felt.
Taris Marie
It was like, you know what?
Taris Marie
And I don't like to recognize the negativity.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
You know, how people like, you know, tell the haters, blah, blah, blah.
Taris Marie
I don't really like to do that, but, like, I don't even like to give it energy.
Taris Marie
But I will say that, you know, I did have a moment.
Taris Marie
Like, I remember when I was told that I couldn't even work in the mail room, you know.
Matt Gilhooly
Hey, but that's funny because you also said you listened to, I don't.
Matt Gilhooly
Wouldn't call them haters, but you listened to someone that was like, you need a writing coach.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, that's.
Matt Gilhooly
That that could be seen in your previous world.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you're not good enough.
Matt Gilhooly
Right?
Matt Gilhooly
But you took it as, no, you're right.
Matt Gilhooly
I could use this.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, like, so there's a.
Matt Gilhooly
There's a flip in the way you described your former life and the things that you were doing and how you approached that.
Matt Gilhooly
So even that you, like, gave it air and you.
Matt Gilhooly
And it helped you.
Matt Gilhooly
So.
Taris Marie
Very true.
Matt Gilhooly
There's that element to that.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, congratulations on first book, but also congratulations on upcoming book.
Matt Gilhooly
That's so cool.
Taris Marie
Thank you so much.
Matt Gilhooly
Are you just going to keep, like, banging them out?
Taris Marie
Like, yeah.
Taris Marie
So Black Pearl is my first one, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary, and then I have the Empress creed that's coming out in January.
Taris Marie
And then that following November, I have one called Black Juliet that's coming out.
Matt Gilhooly
I guess that's what happens when you write every day.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Taris Marie
I told you, I just couldn't stop.
Taris Marie
You know, I started writing, and I.
Taris Marie
One of the things I know I will say that I had to learn also is I went too far on the.
Taris Marie
On that end, because when I was writing every day, I wasn't sleeping, you know, so I started going too far over because I was like, oh, I got to get it done.
Taris Marie
I gotta get.
Taris Marie
Because to be honest, for a minute, I was scared that I was gonna lose it, right?
Taris Marie
Because I was like, where is this even coming from?
Taris Marie
Like, all of this, like, ideas.
Taris Marie
And, you know, it was like, that makes sense.
Taris Marie
Space in place for me, and I truly was scared that I was gonna maybe lose it.
Taris Marie
I was like, well, what if it goes away?
Taris Marie
So I was just like, you know, wasn't sleeping.
Taris Marie
I'm walking around like a zombie, you know, wasn't getting any sleep.
Taris Marie
And so I had to then, you know, find a balance and be able to be present, you know, for my kids and my husband and, you know, making sure that I have work hours and, you know, do all the things and treat it, you know, like a career, like a job.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
But still.
Taris Marie
But still.
Taris Marie
Now, don't get me wrong.
Taris Marie
You know, there may be times when, you know, like, I'm working on this new baby, and it's a little western, and so, you know, if she starts, like, talking to me in my sleep, I have to get up and just, you know, write down what she's saying real quick, and then I'll get back into bed, you know, so that does.
Taris Marie
That is part of the, you know, because I want things to happen, you know, naturally.
Taris Marie
But also, I hope I'm making sense, just finding that balance, making sure I'm not going too far to where I'm depriving myself of, you know, sleep and all the things that you need in order to make sure you stay healthy.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, that's important.
Matt Gilhooly
Otherwise, you won't be able to write any more books if you're not healthy.
Matt Gilhooly
So you need to.
Taris Marie
Oh, my goodness.
Matt Gilhooly
You need to find that balance.
Matt Gilhooly
Do your kids or your husband say anything about who you are now compared to who you were before?
Matt Gilhooly
Did they notice a difference.
Matt Gilhooly
Are you different?
Taris Marie
Mmm.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, are you more joyful because you're kind of living in this space or.
Taris Marie
Yeah, you know what?
Matt Gilhooly
Or they're just like your mom.
Taris Marie
I was gonna try to separate it, but, yeah, like, with my kids, I just feel like, you know, I'm mom.
Taris Marie
I hit a lot, you know?
Taris Marie
So they didn't really, like, they hear.
Taris Marie
They know now.
Taris Marie
I mean.
Taris Marie
Cause they hear me talking.
Taris Marie
They've seen some of my podcasts.
Taris Marie
They're like, mommy, we didn't know you were on the floor.
Taris Marie
Like, you know.
Taris Marie
So then I try to be open with them and say, mom, just like I talked to you.
Taris Marie
But I make it age appropriate.
Taris Marie
But I say, you know, mommy wasn't being.
Taris Marie
You know, mommy wasn't feeling well, and, you know.
Taris Marie
So now I make sure that if I'm tired or something's going on, I don't just say, oh, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
Taris Marie
It's like, mommy, take a nap.
Matt Gilhooly
You're teaching them.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, they're seeing that, and that's gonna be great for them as adults.
Taris Marie
Yes, I'm telling you.
Taris Marie
And that's.
Taris Marie
Again, taking that mask off in all forms.
Taris Marie
And my husband reads my work, and he's supportive.
Matt Gilhooly
Does he tell you when it's not good?
Matt Gilhooly
Is it ever not good?
Matt Gilhooly
It's not good.
Matt Gilhooly
I knew you were gonna say that.
Matt Gilhooly
Somehow I knew that.
Taris Marie
No, no, no, no.
Taris Marie
I'm my worst critic.
Taris Marie
And to be honest, I don't really give him, like, I don't tell him.
Matt Gilhooly
You're just like, read it.
Matt Gilhooly
Don't tell me what to say about it.
Taris Marie
No, no, no.
Taris Marie
I take his feedback, but it's like, I usually wait until I'm at a good space and place to be able to, like, when I know that I've already done it, you know?
Taris Marie
Cause it's like I can kind of feel it where, you know, it's like, ooh, this feels good, you know?
Taris Marie
So then that's usually when I share, because I am the only child, right?
Taris Marie
So sometimes I like my me time.
Taris Marie
And so, you know, I get kind of, like, in this little beautiful space and place where, you know, I create.
Taris Marie
And not all those ideas are good, and I know that.
Taris Marie
Right.
Taris Marie
But it's just fun to just play around, you know, and just see.
Taris Marie
Because sometimes something beautiful may come out of it, you know?
Taris Marie
So I don't.
Taris Marie
I don't always share all those little things with him until it gets to the point where I feel comfortable to get, like, feedback, where it's like, you know, what do you think about this versus that, you know, especially if I write from a male perspective, you know, so I'm, like, helpful.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
You know, so sounds like you know what you're doing.
Taris Marie
I'm trying.
Taris Marie
I'm learning as I go.
Matt Gilhooly
Hey, you know, I love to kind of wrap these conversations up with a question, and I'm wondering if you could go back to the terrorists that woke up that day and couldn't see the text messages on her phone and this version of you, what would you want to say to her about this journey that she was about to go on?
Taris Marie
If I could go back and talk to myself?
Taris Marie
Is that what you're asking?
Taris Marie
Yeah.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, if you could talk to you knowing what you know now on this journey that you found this joy again.
Taris Marie
Yes.
Matt Gilhooly
And that.
Matt Gilhooly
That terrace that woke up that morning and looked at her phone and didn't see the things she was expecting to see on that phone.
Taris Marie
What do you want to say?
Taris Marie
I would tell her to be true to herself.
Taris Marie
Put faith over fear, and it will be okay.
Matt Gilhooly
Just believe in yourself.
Taris Marie
It will be okay, Faith.
Taris Marie
You know, don't be scared.
Taris Marie
You know, Faith, make sure you keep your faith intact and just be true to who you are.
Taris Marie
I think I would.
Taris Marie
I would, definitely.
Taris Marie
And then it's okay.
Taris Marie
I think a lot of times, when we're going through things, just hearing that you're okay is important, because a lot of times, that's the part that's the kicker, because you don't feel like you're going to be okay.
Taris Marie
You're like, it's so painful.
Taris Marie
It's like, I'm not.
Taris Marie
I'm not.
Taris Marie
It's like, yeah, you may not feel it in this moment, but you're going to be okay.
Taris Marie
Like, the sun is gonna come up tomorrow, right?
Taris Marie
So you.
Matt Gilhooly
She'd probably be like, you did what?
Matt Gilhooly
You wrote a book.
Matt Gilhooly
You wrote two books.
Matt Gilhooly
You wrote a third book.
Taris Marie
Oh, my goodness.
Taris Marie
Like, I can't.
Taris Marie
Even.
Taris Marie
When you say, go back, I just felt.
Taris Marie
When I looked at that phone, it just took me back to truly, like, I could remember what that feeling lost and just feeling like, what am I gonna do?
Taris Marie
And that, you know, I just remember just feeling all over the place, but, you know, just.
Taris Marie
Just knowing that, you know, you're going to be all right and to, you know, do not be scared.
Taris Marie
And that is that, you know, my anxiety goes up all the time, but it's like, you know, making sure I just have my.
Taris Marie
Keep my faith first and just know that, you know, God got you.
Matt Gilhooly
Yeah, well, I mean, look where you are.
Matt Gilhooly
Like, you did it, you know, and you're still doing it and you're, who knows what the next ten years are going to bring in this journey that you're creating for yourself now and you trust yourself.
Taris Marie
So I think, oh, I love that.
Taris Marie
Trust yourself.
Taris Marie
That is so major, you know, and it's so hard, you know, because you start thinking about, well, I got this due and that due and all these bills, you know, but, you know, God had me and in more ways than one because, you know, I was able to hear his voice.
Taris Marie
Thank God.
Taris Marie
Thank you, God.
Taris Marie
I was able to.
Taris Marie
I was able to hear his voice because, you know, sometimes, like you said, people don't get to even hear that.
Taris Marie
So I was able to actually hear that and listen and yes, and I made a commitment.
Taris Marie
And that's why I'm like, no matter what platform I'm on, I make sure I tell my story and, you know, and make sure that, you know, I give God the glory and also that I want people to know that it's never too late.
Matt Gilhooly
I mean, give yourself some of that credit, too.
Matt Gilhooly
I think you've done the work you've done a lot.
Matt Gilhooly
So if people want to get in your orbit, they want to learn more about your books or connect with you, what's the best way to find you?
Taris Marie
Okay, you can find me on social mediarismarie, that's on Facebook and Instagram.
Taris Marie
You can go to my website at www.terracemarie.com, or you can go to blackodysy.net dot.
Taris Marie
That's where you can see all my books that are going to be coming out as well.
Taris Marie
So any of those platforms, you should be able to find me.
Matt Gilhooly
We'll definitely put those links in the show notes so people can easily find you and connect with you and read your books and order your books and do all the things and connect with you or even reach out and tell, tell you that you made a difference and what you said connected with them and made them feel less alone.
Matt Gilhooly
Because I'm sure that someone listening right now is feeling that way.
Matt Gilhooly
And so if you are, I'm sure Taris would love to hear from you and hear that.
Matt Gilhooly
So thank you for allowing me to hold this space and have these questions for you and for you to answer them.
Matt Gilhooly
Thank you for that.
Taris Marie
Thank you.
Taris Marie
Thank you for the wonderful questions and thank you for having me.
Taris Marie
I truly appreciate you.
Matt Gilhooly
Well, thank you.
Matt Gilhooly
Thank you for listening.
Matt Gilhooly
If something that Tara said resonated with you or you think someone in your life needs to hear this story.
Matt Gilhooly
Please share this episode with them.
Matt Gilhooly
We would love that and I will say goodbye for now.
Matt Gilhooly
I will be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast.
Matt Gilhooly
Thanks again Taris.
Taris Marie
Thank you.
Matt Gilhooly
For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.
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