196. Wisdom Hidden in Trauma

Transcript

00:00.00
karagoodwin
Hello and welcome to the meditation conversation I'm your host Kara Goodwin and today I am joined by stasia asna. Stasia is a clinical hypnotherapist and life coach who went from having debilitating panic attacks and feeling trapped in trauma to embarking on a transformative healing journey and living a life of true joy for the past ten years dassia has been helping people bloom into their confident courageous selves and realize their true potential. She utilizes tools like internal family systems therapeutic imagery. Mindfulness inner child healing and breath work to help her clients achieve lasting positive results that once seemed unimag unimaginable so welcome I'm so excited to be here with you today.

00:55.72
Stacia
Thank you! I'm so happy to be here.

00:59.36
karagoodwin
So tell us how you got started in this journey and how you ultimately broke free of trauma.

01:04.43
Stacia
Well I definitely would not say you know I'm free from trauma I I don't think trauma really goes away but it definitely gets easier to ah to manage to live with. Um so yeah, it's you know it's a. That's a big question. Um, but it's like so many people that get into work of helping others. Um, of course I overcame a lot of things in my life and I'm continuing you know, still doing this work still very dedicated to this work. But. I um I grew up in ah in a house where I experienced abuse and poverty. Ah, and I've always been a very sensitive person. So as ah as a child um that that was all very difficult for me and I wound up kind of. Ah, shutting down and as a teenager suffered with depression and in that time what I what I knew was there was this contrast of experience as I was having all of this depression and my house was unsafe. Um, one thing that I did experience where I could feel this this contrast to everything I was living at home was I learned at a young age and this was um, this was with the help of just growing up in a family that really appreciated nature I spent a lot of time outside. So I would just retreat out into nature I would skip school like. My junior year of high school I got pulled into the principal's office and was told I set a record for the most days missed um of any have any student ever. Thanks um, but you know what I was doing is I was going to like this sounds.

02:39.77
karagoodwin
Oh Wow congratulations. Wow.

02:52.68
Stacia
Silly in some ways to people that I think I was doing what I intuitively knew I needed and I was going out to a forest preserve and I was reading books and that was how I cared for myself so on the surface while it looked like I was this like bad kid I was doing. What I needed to do to to take care of myself because.

03:11.60
karagoodwin
And it's so funny because as you said that I was like preparing this comment of like and I'm sure that the trees gave you an award that. You know that afternoon for the most presence of any junior in high school just you know to have with the trees and in nature. Yeah.

03:29.84
Stacia
Ah, totally, but here's the funny. Yeah, exactly that wisdom of the forest. So like yeah I it was this. It was totally just a ah safe space for me and it Um, as somebody who is also I was. You know and a lot of people who might listen to this if you grew up in in a traumatic experience you often find that you you become ah an old soul. Um, which just means you have to you know sometimes that sometimes yes, you might be an old soul and then you know it also might be that you had to grow up too fast because of your environment.

04:05.50
karagoodwin
Um, yeah, and right and that insecurity you learn how to read people really well because you're like looking for you know what? Okay how how are things is the ship upright are we tilt that you know so I.

04:06.93
Stacia
Because you had to handle a lot of difficult experiences. Um, oh my gosh.

04:20.17
Stacia
Yeah, hyper vigilant I am yeah very hyper vigilant. Yeah I mean there's a lot of there. There are certain superpowers in these things as well. Like you know people who go through very difficult experiences are often very good at reading their environment and reading people.

04:22.82
karagoodwin
I Believe So yeah, yeah, um.

04:38.33
karagoodwin
I.

04:39.89
Stacia
Um, so ah, so yeah I was basically just trying to get through those years and trying to um, just trying to get through everything that was so it was just so difficult and once I moved out of my family's home when I was 18 and went off on my own then i. You know at that time I had already started exploring I think I was really led to yoga and meditation through Henry David Thoreau um and I mean his his philosophy is very similar in a lot of ways to Eastern Philosophies about spirituality. So i. Um I found yoga and I started practicing yoga as a way to calm my mind and of course to like become more flexible but what wound up happening was at 1819 when I had moved away I got I got really into this yoga practice. But what. But what was happening is I was spending a lot of time in Shivasana which if anybody knows yoga. It's the final like people usually do this throughout a yoga practice depending on what kind of sequence you're doing but the end of yoga. You're always laying on on the ground they call it corpse pose as well. And I just loved laying in Shivasana because I'd get into this what I now know as a meditative state where I just my mind was just really calm, relaxed and I just I just loved feeling that way. So I kind of had this evolution this natural evolution of finding different tools. Helped me to get into a place that was just more calm and focused I wound up finding great teachers a meditation teacher at the age of 21 who you know I was initiated onto ah a spiritual path and that changed my life i. Got psychotherapy you know in my early 20 s and I still see a therapist. Um, so all of that has you know, just it's it's a combination of all these things and it helped me to experience a different way of living and my life is totally different than it was you know I used to. As a result of all of that trauma I was I was suffering with things like panic attacks um panic attacks that were so severe that I would have fainting spells. So yeah, it was. It was pretty was pretty challenging and but now I have all these wonderful tools that I was given by awesome wonderful teachers. And now I'm able to share those with my clients. Oh.

07:09.20
karagoodwin
And yeah, Wow. Well thank you so much for sharing all of that and your vulnerability and I know that anytime we have to kind of look back when we've had such a painful past that takes courage and so I really honor in a.

07:24.54
Stacia
Thanks.

07:28.70
karagoodwin
Appreciate you you stepping back into that for us and it's beautiful. How you have been able to utilize that it's such a it's in so quickly you know it's kind of like late teens early 20 s you're already.

07:30.87
Stacia
Thank you.

07:47.30
karagoodwin
Kind of finding healthy, um, healthy outlets and recognizing hey this makes me feel good and um and hey maybe maybe my experience that I've had and you know the the bad along with the healing that I've been able to find.

08:04.43
Stacia
Are you.

08:06.57
karagoodwin
You know if I put those things together and and mobilize myself then I can help other people and that's really powerful. So what? a huge gift. Thank you.

08:14.16
Stacia
Ah, thank you? Yeah I you know and I was when I was going through all of that as a teenager I definitely didn't like have great self-esteem. So I didn't real it like now I look back I'm so proud of myself that I you know you all again. It.

08:26.10
karagoodwin
Yeah, um.

08:30.71
Stacia
Was misperceived by most people around me and thought I was like you know quite a troublemaker I was so innocent and I was genuinely trying to help myself and in so many ways I think I was doing just just what I needed to do and I'm I'm very grateful that I.

08:44.15
karagoodwin
Um.

08:48.60
Stacia
That I found those resources when I was young.

08:49.00
karagoodwin
Right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely so 1 of the tools that you utilize are internal family systems and we haven't really explored this on the podcast. So can you talk a little bit about what that is.

08:57.81
Stacia
Okay.

09:03.51
Stacia
Absolutely ifs is so internal family systems is abbreviated to ifs so most people will refer to it as that it is a therapy modality created by a psychologist named Dr Richard Schwartz and it's been around for quite a while but just in the last few years. It's become increasingly popular. There's a number of celebrities who have ah written about it and talk about it openly so that helps obviously um and and. And more and more people are finding it and they're experiencing it and having such wonderful life changing results. It's a very experiential therapy modality. So it's not just it's not like a traditional talk therapy where you just kind of sit and you talk about what's going on. Ah, in ifs there's the model is that we all have what is called self energy and that is the center or the core of a person and it embodies qualities like calmness connectedness compassion courage confidence and. And then we have parts and our parts are ah labeled as either protectors or exiled parts and the exiled parts of the parts of us that hold those deep wounds and then the protectors are the sort of our defense mechanisms and. What we do with ifs is we're working to get into a differentiated place where we can and and very similar to mindfulness step back into this energy into the selfen energy and observe with curiosity the the sort of what are what our parts are doing. Ah, and a lot of these parts are operating from old stories and they are actually stuck in the past and reliving past experiences. So um, you know you might be. You might have a pattern in your life where ah, you're you're still sort of operating from this. Ah, maybe it's a past trauma something that happened to you and your consciousness is still sort of there. Ah, and in that case we want to update and integrate that part into the present so that that part is aware that you know that's no longer reality and this is this is what's going on this is where we live today. Um, so so its ah ultimately what we're trying to do is to become self-led where these parts of us are no longer like fragmented um or separate from self. We integrate them into self-energy into presence into our present awareness and through that ah the extreme.

11:45.95
Stacia
Behaviors of the parts or the extreme feelings just relax and transform naturally nothing goes away nothing needs to be Fixed. It's all about just transforming through that self-en energy. They will naturally start to heal in and then our essential qualities come back things like. Ah, curiosity um things that you might have had to repress or lose touch with and because you had to take on these extreme jobs like you know, sometimes when if you're a child who goes through trauma you grew up in a household. That's Scary. You might lose touch with things like your creativity. And a lot of that can now safely return Once? you're really once your system is really updated and integrated into the present.

12:29.39
karagoodwin
Oh Wow. So with the internal family systems then that is the is the family part of Ifs those pieces or is it really working with the nuclear family I don't know what happened there.

12:40.40
Stacia
Yes. Yeah, we're talking about this sort of family. So your internal family system would be your parts and so those those protectors those exiles. Um, right now I'm in an ifs level None training though that is for couples where we can look at how people's parts.

12:51.11
karagoodwin
I okay.

13:04.49
Stacia
In relationship interact and it's fat. It's fascinating.

13:06.31
karagoodwin
Okay, Wow So is there like role-playing that's part of it so that to help you kind of go back into where the the root of these pieces come from or. Like how how or is it just by witnessing just by going in and and observing okay and just noticing becoming aware of those patterns and.

13:25.82
Stacia
Witnessing. Yeah exactly? Yeah, So you're witness so we do a lot of witnessing. Ah,, there's you know what? you would do is you would step back and you um, typically you would start by just locating. Ah, the energy of a part in or around your body and really just focusing on it. You know, ah so often it's kind of a slow process of just really Observing. You know what? what a part is doing and then we will usually depending on the person will start to engage with that part and that looks different. Each person. Some people are very visual so they might you know they might locate the energy of of a part in their you know in their chest. Maybe it's a part of them that's feeling scared or panicked and and then we'll focus on that energy that feeling and sensation and then we'll see if there's any words thoughts or images that are associated with the part. And you know some people who are very visual might instantly get ah the the impression of like you know a version of them at some age and then they'll see that and then we just kind of witness and then and then they will they will start to engage and befriend that aspect of themselves So That's that's like. Those are the None steps is we want to go into befriending because often we're sort of we're not really in relationship with our parts where they're unconscious from us. Um, or sometimes we're just very Critical. We don't like parts of Ourselves. Ah.

14:39.60
karagoodwin
Okay I.

14:50.52
karagoodwin
Yeah, well, it's interesting that you talk about the exiled parts because it's you know it's really a rejection of of part. It seems similar to like shadow work. You know is another term that you hear a lot and.

14:54.98
Stacia
Yeah.

15:00.99
Stacia
Yeah.

15:06.59
karagoodwin
Um, and it's this incorporation of the parts of us that we want to Deny but they are a part of us and um and you know they can't be integrated if we keep if we keep denying them.

15:10.73
Stacia
This is the.

15:20.47
Stacia
Yeah, and that denial is is usually it is an effort to protect ourselves because we're scared to face. You know that we're scared to face what what exists there and so and I think that's important to distinguish that any protective aspect of your system.

15:32.40
karagoodwin
What.

15:40.24
Stacia
The intentions are good even if it's repressing or rejecting a part. It's that that might have been what you learned to do in order to get through something very difficult and at 1 point in time that might have actually worked. You know if you grew up in an environment that wasn't supportive. Maybe that was what you had to do was to reject.

15:40.90
karagoodwin
Um, yeah.

15:51.51
karagoodwin
Right. Are Bright right.

15:59.60
Stacia
And repress those feelings because it wasn't a safe space to be able to feel those things but now when you're in you know in a safe space in your life Now you can start to bring bring bring those parts back in. They don't have to be rejected anymore? yeah.

16:10.63
karagoodwin
Right? Yeah, that's beautiful. Well this goes this ties in pretty well with inner child work and I know that you help people a lot with their inner child. Can you talk about the importance of our our inner inner children.

16:19.77
Stacia
Totally.

16:26.88
Stacia
Yeah, and I love that you said inner children because it's actually I think that we have more like we have more than just one Inn child you know people have so many different versions of themselves that you can go back and meet but it's.

16:29.17
karagoodwin
Part and file.

16:42.60
Stacia
Yeah, inner child work is is wonderful I Do a lot of age aggression hypnosis with clients where we'll go back into childhood and work with the inner child and and it's important because just like just like I was um, discussing with Ifs What happens in our lives is often. We sort Of. We go through difficult experiences and ah we we get kind of stuck in these situations and our consciousness today is sometimes still sort of functioning from those spaces you might have ah. Unresolved trauma or fears that you're still playing out. Maybe you're you know, maybe you grew up in a house where you really had to shut down and be quiet because it was scary and then in your adulthood you still struggle to really feel grounded and assertive in yourself and. And maybe there's specifically people that you might be around where you get triggered back into those those feelings in Childhoods. You know say if you're you know if you grew up in a household where you had very domineering parents who yelled at you and then as an adult you find yourself with a domineering boss who yells at you. All a sudden you're like triggered right back into that that wound of childhood and just getting really scared and while you might feel naturally like in your day to day when you're not around triggering people very calm centered and confident. It's like once you're around that person. Oh now I'm right back into that you know that child's self.

17:56.37
karagoodwin
I Yeah I.

18:14.17
Stacia
Um, So we we go back and we meet these parts of ourselves and we don't just meet them. We want to just like an an Ifs bring that child self take that child self out of that past experience that might have been scary and bring them into the presence. They don't have to live there anymore. So that's. Ah, a very active experiential process I'll do with clients where we just kind of offer to the inner child. Hey. Do you want to come would you like to come with me or would you like to leave that you know that scary experience and and bring them into the present or take them somewhere that's safe so that they they see that life is really different right now we don't We're you know. You know often if if we're working together. It means that things have changed. You know you're no longer in that in that situation and but sometimes the inner child doesn't know that the inner child thinks that we're still there like you know. So um, yeah, inner child work has been very profound for.

19:04.52
karagoodwin
Yeah, well.

19:13.45
Stacia
My clients and and for me as well. Thanks Ah, yes.

19:13.74
karagoodwin
Yeah,, that's beautiful I mean it really.. It's so nurturing you know it's such a loving practice of you know for for yourself to acknowledge the vulnerability and and. Like you're talking about bringing that into the present. It's really touching. That's really beautiful.

19:34.33
Stacia
Yeah I like my work is is so based in love and nurturing I think that that is truly the way to heal is through self-acceptance self-compassion and love.

19:40.50
karagoodwin
Wow. Um.

19:46.64
karagoodwin
Write? Yeah, yeah, that's so important. Yeah, beautiful. Well um.

19:49.99
Stacia
And things just that's what people are really craving is is what I see with with people come to me? yeah.

19:59.37
karagoodwin
I Also wanted to talk about the therapeutic imagery because I really don't know a lot about that. So can you talk us through this. Um, this tool.

20:06.83
Stacia
Sure So in Hypnosis you know Therapeutic Imagery is is a natural part of hypnosis. Especially if I'm working with people who have very creative minds and are and are visual. Ah, if if that's not the case. That's okay, we don't have to ah we we don't have to use therapeutic Imagery Um, but it's it's just using creating using the imagination to ah as a tool to create. Ah, images that you can kind of focus On. So if you've ever taken like a guided meditation journey that person the person that's guiding you through that is is likely using Therapeutic Imagery they're taking either asking you to walk down the path and along the path you see different things and um. And when I'm using Therapeutic Imagery I'm often using Therapeutic Imagery as a metaphor for whatever issue. It is that we're working on so it might not be like a direct representation of you know the experience we're using it metaphorically and kind of creating a story almost. Ah, in in a way that is that is helpful to to help them. Um, if the intention is to release something or to create a new neural pathway of one that is you know focused on creating a new a new healthier Pattern or Habit. Ah, then we'll use therapeutic imagery to help guide that process. Yeah, yeah, that's going to say I bet you are.

21:36.50
karagoodwin
Okay, that well then I'm very familiar with therapeutic imagery in a meditative. Yeah and a meditative sense because our imagination or our quoteunquote imagination is is really really powerful and it can really open doors and.

21:53.37
Stacia
Yes.

21:55.36
karagoodwin
This is one of the things that I that I teach in my meditations is that? um so often we block ourselves with our imagination. You know it's like we want to know is this real. Is it my imagination and it's like very.

22:04.50
Stacia
Are.

22:12.57
karagoodwin
Black and white whereas our imagination is this really powerful gateway and um and some people like you. You've said a couple of times where it's like some people are more more gifted or more lean toward the and visual and it's easier for them to.

22:15.94
Stacia
Um, yeah.

22:27.50
Stacia
Yeah.

22:31.60
karagoodwin
Come up with visuals and some people like are totally blocked. So if it's like picture yourself walking through a Forest. It's like nope I can't see it. You know so it's like well what can you can you feel it can you can you imagine it, you know, rather than like feeling like you've got to get the picture right? But somehow.

22:34.20
Stacia
Yeah. Hello.

22:51.13
karagoodwin
If we just bring our imagination into it's like okay I may not be like having to get the visual right? but I can I can play with my imagination but it's like this secret doorway to get us to actually embody.

23:01.48
Stacia
Right.

23:10.74
karagoodwin
Real emotions real healing real results. Um, it's very mysterious that way I I mean I think it's mysterious fast.

23:19.46
Stacia
Yeah, it's really fun I'm super visual. So I love I Love any sort of it just comes really natural like creating imagery for clients and then some people's brains are just just work differently. You know and it's not a problem necessarily some people do have blocks.

23:29.94
karagoodwin
Aha.

23:37.28
Stacia
And they you know and and that's where Ifs can come in handy is to really see what's what's going on there. The part parts or part of them that might be blocking that process and then other people just you know they're just not very visual and in that case we might use more you know maybe they maybe the sense that.

23:44.96
karagoodwin
Um, and.

23:54.83
Stacia
They get. They have more connection with is ah is like feeling or like physical sensation. Ah so in that case we might you know I might do more like using energy as.

24:01.90
karagoodwin
And.

24:08.00
Stacia
As ah as a way to help feel like feel what this feels like in your body feel it coming through your body. We use lots of feeling words I have ah plenty of clients that I've worked with over the years that are like that or if um, you know some people are they're they're okay with ah visuals but metaphor doesn't really work for them because they don't have.

24:13.30
karagoodwin
Long.

24:27.80
Stacia
Their mind is not very creative. They like you know they're more logical so they want to yeah they want more of like a very straightforward direct. Um descriptive experience that feels more grounded and in reality.

24:29.32
karagoodwin
More rational. Yeah.

24:37.60
karagoodwin
Yeah, yeah, well, it's beautiful that you have all of these tools to help and and recognizing the different strengths for different people so that you know you can work to bring that wholeness.

24:55.92
Stacia
Thank you.

24:57.70
karagoodwin
You know and bring one in that embodied expression of who they are. That's wonderful. So how can people find out more about you and the work that you do.

25:01.40
Stacia
Thank you? yeah so yeah I would love to hear from anybody. That's you know anything? That's been said here today resonates and you're curious more about what I what I do. Ah, you can find me on Instagram and my handle is just stasia asna and feel free to dm me there if you're curious to connect and my website which http://isstasiaasna.com there are applications on there for connections if you want to. Get on a quick call with me learn about my coaching and my hypnosis work I also have ah a group in Chicago that I lead and there's in my in the bio of my Instagram there's ah, an application to to get on my mailing list for my events in Chicago. And I have a virtual group as well for women and it's sort of like a virtual support group for women who are looking to connect in ah, a conscious and safe environment with other women who are on the healing journey. Ah, and that is that's just that we just started that last month and it's beautiful. It's it's such a. I just I love bringing women together. Ah where you know they may be feeling lacking in their community and put them together and say oh we can create a community here where we can all be seen and heard and support each other on this on this journey.

26:21.85
karagoodwin
Um, or.

26:33.73
karagoodwin
That's wonderful. Well I'll have that information in the show notes. So people can get to it easily? Well what a blessing to be here with you today. Thank you so much for all the work you're doing and thank you for for.

26:34.84
Stacia
Thank you.

26:39.10
Stacia
Thanks.

26:48.92
Stacia
Thank you so much I Really appreciate it.

26:49.45
karagoodwin
Joining me today.