252. Reclaiming Your True Self - Kelly Smith

Kara Goodwin 00:00:16

Hello and welcome to The Meditation Conversation, the podcast to support your spiritual revolution. I'm your host, Kim Sarah goodwin. And today I'm joined by Kelly Smith. Kelly is the founder of Yoga for you and host of the chart topping mindful in Minutes podcast and its spinoff meditation. mama. Kelly was first drawn to yoga as a teenager when she saw the therapeutic, mental and physical benefits practice had on her mom during her battle with breast cancer. Several years and over 8000 hours of teaching later, what began as a modest studio in the rural midwest has evolved into Yoga for you, a location independent yoga and meditation school that has served thousands of students located all through the Us. Canada, and the UK. So welcome, Kelly. I'm so happy to meet you.

Kelly Smith 00:01:51 Hello. It is so nice to be here and to get to connect with you, like, in person.

Kara Goodwin 00:01:57 How can I know? This has been great. We've been back and forth over email quite a bit, and you contributed to the Meditation Monday series, so I'll have a link for that in the show notes. Why don't we start with what you witnessed with your mom's yoga practice during her breast cancer journey and how it all kind of began for you.

Kelly Smith 00:02:18 Sure. So when I was 16, my mom was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. And I had been practicing yoka before that, but I was there. I was there for, like, the stretch. I was an athlete. And, you know, I was there for, like, cross training for my sports. I was even, you know, a shavasan, a skipper. I admitted I was one of those. No kidding. And I was, like, hurt for, like, a 15 year old high school athlete. It is not the best part. Right? But it's funny because if you would have told me then that now basically what I teach is meditation, yoga, needron restorative yoga. There's a lot of shavasana going on there, but no one has ever educated me on the why behind it. But then when my mom was diagnosed after surgeries and things like that, we weren't doing, like, a vigorous, vinyasa practice. That was the first time my eyes are really opened to some of the softer sides, some of the more therapeutic sides that can come with a practice, whether it be just really gentle intuitive movement or even just like, visualization and how. Guided meditation. I remember I believe she was in a trial where they were doing acupuncture and some guided meditation and looking to see what that did, like, her white blood cell count and seeing how it could kind of boost immunity during someone's kind of treatment journey. And so my eyes are really open to this existence of this softer side of being able to use your mind. And they didn't know it at the time, but some of the things that I was reading about, because this was 16, a good amount of time ago, long time ago. But it wasn't just like you go online, you look up, there weren't like podcasts or there wasn't anything there. And so what I was coming across and the techniques and things that I was using just kind of as my own life raft at the time, navigating this journey that I was on, they were meditation techniques or even just kind of self awareness techniques. And I didn't know it at the time, but then later when I learned about it, I was like, oh, I've done this before, or this is what I used to do when I was trying to just sit and feel how I feel. And I didn't know that what I was doing at the time were some more meditation or mindfulness based practices.

Kara Goodwin 00:04:43 Oh, wow. Well, how did things go for your mom?

Kelly Smith 00:04:48 They went really well. She's in remission. She's now the greatest grammy ever, so we live pretty close to each other. So she comes over and helps babysit and we're very close and she is so supportive.

Kara Goodwin 00:05:05 She's so happy.

Kelly Smith 00:05:06 Mindful in Minutes is number one fan. It's really sweet.

Kara Goodwin 00:05:10 I love that.

Kelly Smith 00:05:11 Yeah, it's really special.

Kara Goodwin 00:05:13 Yeah.

Kelly Smith 00:05:13 Thank you. It's amazing.

Kara Goodwin 00:05:16 So I know that as you mentioned, meditation is a big part of your yoga journey because you are the founder of Yoga for you, and I know that you specialize more in kind of the meditation yoga. nedra, as you were mentioning, can you talk about some simple meditation practices that actually stick in case there are people who maybe don't have a really consistent practice?

Kelly Smith 00:05:49 Yeah, so I think just starting very simple. So when it comes to starting like a simple practice that you'll stick with, I think kind of releasing expectations, being kind to yourself, looking at a few different things, there are some specific techniques of even looking at how long you're meditating. Like, studies tell us that eight to twelve minutes a day is enough. So saying I'm only going to meditate for ten minutes and let that be enough and let that be plenty. I find in terms of techniques like guided meditations are such a great place to start. They're suitable for anyone at any level. But if you're really just starting, I think having a practice like the ones that you've collected for the Meditation Monday series that you're doing, where people can just pull it up and hit play, I think that's such a great place to start because you don't have to overthink it. You don't have to think, oh, what's my point of concentration going to be? What am I going to focus on someone's on the heavy lifting for you? And guided meditations are not cheating. I hear this sometimes. Do you ever hear this?

Kara Goodwin 00:06:53 Oh, really?

Kelly Smith 00:06:54 Yeah.

Kara Goodwin 00:06:55 I don't think I have heard that.

Kelly Smith 00:06:58 But sometimes people will also say that using props in a yoga class is like cheating too.

Kara Goodwin 00:07:04 But it's just we go hard on ourselves.

Kelly Smith 00:07:08 I know, and it's like, it's a meditation practice. It's meant to be this nourishing fulfilling thing. But I think short guided meditation is always a great place to start. You don't have to overthink it. You can just hit play. Or if you're wanting more of a self guided practice, I love just starting the day with a body scan where you just check through your different parts, like, how is my body doing today? Or just asking yourself, like, how is my mind doing today? What thoughts did I wake up with today? Or how does my heart feel today? Like, emotionally, how am I doing? And just doing these simple check ins of like, how's the body, how's my mind, how's my heart? I think that's such a beautiful way to start your day and you start with such intention and kind of in tune with what's happening within you and around you.

Kara Goodwin 00:07:56 Yeah, thank you for that. I love that. And I'm with you 100%. I mean, guided meditations, I'm just like so surprised to think that somebody would think that they're not doing it properly if they're listening to a guided meditation. Because like you talked about, somebody's already kind of crafted the experience so that you can just follow along. It's kind of like you can draft behind somebody. Like if you're driving behind a semi or a big truck and they're parting the air for you so you get better gas mileage because you're not having to go against the resistance of the wind or the air. So for me, it's kind of like that. You can just drop in a little bit easier because you're sort of following, and then you get to kind of ride the wave a little bit rather than having to be more in your I don't know what the different center would be, where you're having to craft it yourself, but you're working with different parts of your mind. It can be very beneficial. And the other piece to that is energy transmission. So if you're with somebody, if you're listening to somebody who you trust, then there are people who can transmit energy with their guided meditation where it's like not just words, but there's a conveyance of an energy that can be really palpable. So I just underscore your point about how powerful that can be as a practice of allowing somebody to guide it for you.

Kelly Smith 00:09:48 Yeah, and I think about it a lot as like having a GPS. So instead of it's like someone can just tell you the route to go instead of being like, oh, I don't know, I need to go here, I'll just kind of wander and see how I get there. And that works too, but sometimes it's like, we just want that roadmap and we can just get on track, take the route and then we've arrived.

Kara Goodwin 00:10:11 Yes. I love that. It definitely can add a much more intentional part to our practice, as you said. And it's great. Like, you can go out and search for specific meditations these days and, oh, I tune into yourself and like, wow, my mind is really, really overactive today, or, gosh, I need to really be lifted up. I'm feeling sad. Or we can kind of recognize where we are. And that's one of the things that meditation can help us with so much, is getting in touch with what is actually going on with me. Because we can have a tendency to just plow through life and let ourselves stay distracted. So we don't feel our feelings and we don't notice the discomfort that we might be feeling emotionally or mentally. And so just tuning in and being like, what is it that I need? And then there's so much support out there to be able to say, oh, okay, well, I'm feeling sad. There are lots of meditations that can help to pick me up or help to transmute that fear.

Kelly Smith 00:11:19 Absolutely. And I think there's so many wonderful teachers, too, especially for a guided meditation. It's all about finding a teacher, whether it be their voice or their particular style or the way they put together a practice. It's just like with yoga, there are certain teachers where you just really enjoy what they put together, and then you're more likely to stick with it if it's just, like, in alignment. I think there's so many wonderful teachers, and so you can try all of these different things and find the teacher that you're like, oh, I really like what they're putting together. And I think it helps you to kind of stick with it as well when you feel like you found a teacher that just is giving you the tools that you currently need for your toolbox.

Kara Goodwin 00:12:03 Yes, absolutely. I love that. So can you talk a little bit about connecting with your true self and living from your soul space? I know that this is really important in your work, and I share that with you. I think that that disconnect is actually a huge undercurrent of a lot of the problems that people have in their lives. Is that disconnection with our true self? But can you explore that a little bit? How to do that, how to connect?

Kelly Smith 00:12:39 I would love to, because this is something that I feel so deeply passionate about. When they tell you, they're like, oh, you're on your deathbed, and you can only tell people, like, one thing, what's the thing? Your mind would be like, just connect to your true self and everything will get better. I just feel so strongly that you said it perfectly, that it's like I think so many of our problems and so many of our struggles come from being disconnected to our true selves. And I use true self, soul, most authentic self, even, like, highest self. I kind of use all of those interchangeably, and I encourage my students to just use the word that they're comfortable with. Sometimes it's like the divine within. So whatever anyone who's listening, whatever word you like, you can just sub it in for what we're talking about. But I personally most often call it the true self. And to me, this is that part of you. It's like your soul, the part that you're born with, that little spark that's like just you. I see it in my son a lot. He's only two, but there's parts of him. Even when I was pregnant and I was growing, I could tell that there were just little parts of his personality and who he was even from in the belly. And then he came out and it's like society hasn't had a time to really change him or mold him. He doesn't understand that he is who he is. And I think that's so beautiful. And I know over time that that might change and that there will be things as he maybe goes to school or as he meets more people, as he starts talking more and being introduced to the greater world, that he may either start to second guess who he is or question who he is or become disconnected to different parts of him. But if everyone thinks back to a little kid, like a little toddler that they know right, there's just parts of them, it's like that's just who they are. And I think that if we can remain connected to that part of us, just that deep, authentic soul space, it makes so many things in life easier. Doesn't mean it necessarily makes life easy because often life isn't easy. And that's okay. That's a part of the human experience. But I think about things, you know, where I felt like times in my life where I felt like I was showing up, being the person that others wanted me to be, as opposed to showing up as just the person that I am. And it felt very empty. It felt very lonely. And taking a journey to kind of connect to my true self and helping others connect with their true self is something that is so special to me and really special to watch. Because once you start to connect to your soul space, to your true self, it's like you don't have to think about who you're going to show up as. You just show up as you are. And some really magical things happen, like loneliness. If that's something that you struggle with, you realize that you never have to be lonely because you have yourself. You're never really alone. You have your true self that's always there with you. You start to attract people that are excited about you showing your true self and usually are comfortable sharing their true selves. Like your relationships for many people become deeper and broader. And when you're trying to make big decisions I've been thinking about this a lot, like in parenting, where when I'm trying to make a decision of what's right for me or for my child or my family, I can connect to that true self space and be like, okay, what feels right to me? And drown out the noise. That's been really kind of profound. And I just feel like I have this internal well that I can pull from when I need guidance or I need inspiration or connection, and that it's already within me. But for so many of us, myself included, we forget that it's there, or we ignore it, or we second guess it and we kind of fight it or have this resistance against who we really are, which can create so much strife and tension within our lives.

Kara Goodwin 00:17:03 I love that, and you're so right. It's like by connecting within us, we can find this happiness that we just can't find when we're not being authentic to who we are. And we also give people the space to do that themselves as well, because I feel there are situations that I'm in where I feel like everybody is just looking around to try to see what everybody else thinks or what everybody else is going to wear or whatever it is. And I can do that too, where I'm like, what are you guys wearing to this thing? It's not like I do it too sometimes.

Kelly Smith 00:17:45 Yeah, I'm like, what's the dress code here?

Kara Goodwin 00:17:47 Yeah, but it can be easy to get caught up in as well. Like, oh, we care about this thing that I don't usually care about, just being in, like, a setting, like a dinner party or something. And you hear people talking about things that you don't worry about or you don't care about or whatever, and it's like, oh, God, that's not even on my radar. Should I be thinking about that? Should I be caring about that? And it can be easy to get caught up in that. And that's where one of the things I value so much about my meditation practice is that I give myself that opportunity regularly to continue to come back into alignment and to remember who I am. And that helps that noise kind of even if I get involved in the noise, and it's like I start to worry about things that I don't normally care about, or I start to feel insecure or whatever it is that passes, and I get that opportunity to come back to who I am, to remember who I am. And that stuff just sort of, like, sheds more easily and doesn't get the chance to build up. And I feel like we're all kind of walking or many people are walking around sort of with all of these layers, like you said so beautifully, of who we think other people want us to be or how we're going to fit in or how we're going to show up. And really, the magic is in that, really knowing who we are. And then that helps other people to have that courage to step into who they are, too, and to really live from that space also.

Kelly Smith 00:19:32 Yeah, I feel really strongly that when you have the courage to let your true self be seen, that you give permission to everyone around you to do the same. And often we need someone that is willing to kind of take that leap and just be who they are and let their true self be seen. Because it's also a piece of this, is that it's really scary. Like, if we show up as someone who isn't necessarily our true self, our most authentic self, if we show up and people don't like that or they reject that or they're not kind to that, it hurts. But it's not the same as if it's scary to say, well, what if I show up as, like, my true self? And then people reject that. That is so much deeper and so much scarier than if you're just showing up as either a shell of yourself or a version of yourself. It's not quite as scary because if people reject that, you can kind of say, okay, well, that's not who I really am, and that's okay. And I think there's a lot of fear, and at least I experienced a lot of fear around that, of like, what will people think? Or what will people think? When I started yoga for you over ten years ago, kind of before, it was, like, cool to be in this, you know, sort of space. And I had just graduated college, and so many people, except for my mom, who we all know is like, number one yoga for you. Yes, mama Smith. We love her. But so many people were like, they were so dismissive of my dream to do this and to be a yoga teacher and to help people connect with something deeper. And it was really hard, and I was really scared at first to tell people what I did because they were very judgmental, they were very dismissive. And people say, oh, you're just going to sit and stretch with people all day? Or shouldn't you get an mba so you can get a real job? Or just really interesting, not so nice things sometimes. And it wasn't until it's kind of funny because a lot of those people have kind of come around and watched me take my journey and then like, oh, my gosh, it's so cool you're, like, living your dream. And I think that me being my authentic self and me living my dream maybe it was really scary for me, but I think it may have also been a little bit scary for others, too. Because I think watching someone take that path or connect with who they really are can sometimes then make you question yourself of like, well, am I doing what my soul is asking me to do? Like, am I connected to who I am? And so although it does give everyone permission to do the same. I think it also sometimes can kind of shake it up a little bit where people being like, oh, like, am I fulfilled in what I'm doing? Do I feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose? And it can kind of shake those things up a little bit too, but it's definitely scary to try to step into who you are, especially if it's different than the person you've been showing up as for years and years.

Kara Goodwin 00:22:51 Yeah, absolutely. Well, you mentioned yoga for you, and I'm really interested in the story of your journey from starting this in a rural location in the midwest and then growing it so much. So can you talk a little bit about that journey and where you are now with yoga for you?

Kelly Smith 00:23:13 Yeah. So I did my 1st 200 hours teacher training, as many do, when I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. And I had just graduated college and there was a studio there and I was like, oh, I like going, I don't know, the summer between graduation, I'll be a nanny and I'll take a yoga teacher training. And since then I've heard so many people when they're at like a pivotal point and they're like, oh, I don't know what to do, I'll take a yoga teacher training. And I didn't start yoga for you until several years later. And it was because of that fear piece. I was really afraid of what will people think? Or, you know, I have this I was so in my head about what I have this college degree and now people are thinking I'm just going to go and be a yoga teacher. And I'd really gotten in my own head about that. But when my husband, he got into medical school so we were living in Minneapolis, which is where I live now, but this was the first time we lived here. He got into a medical school in a I call it a 1 bar, one Walmart town. But there were actually three bars and one walmart. They had their priorities right. You can have one Walmart, but you have to have a couple of bars. But it was this really small rural town in Missouri and I was working in management at the time. I never really moved away from my family before, not this far. And I had to leave my friends, I had to leave my job. My husband was going to school. So I had no one except my fur baby that was with me. After a couple of days of a pity party, I just felt like this was also an opportunity to pursue what I loved because I all of a sudden was alone, unemployed, we were single, income. So I had to figure out something because my husband was now a student. And so I thought, well, what the heck, I'm going to give this a try. And so I just started teaching like a class. It was a Friday evening class. I started one class and I started teaching more and more and more online eventually. So it was just like at my husband's school. But then I saw that this community had a real need and a real desire for a place like what I was imagining. So I did eventually end up opening a studio there. That was the first yoga for you. And it was really kind of cool because the students that I was working with I wouldn't have probably come across in my everyday life, like in Minneapolis. There's a lot of fear around as yoga against my religion or don't use sanskrit terms. I'm uncomfortable with that. Can we teach in common English? And my students were such wonderful, beautiful people. We were just living very different lives and I was really challenged to expand my teaching. I think as a teacher, it's our job to just meet our students where they're at and so it challenged my teaching to make it work for them too. And so I ended up opening the studio. But we knew it would always be temporary because then we moved to Michigan. I seem to only get sent to M states. I ended up selling the studio and that's one. And we knew we would only be in our next place for maybe a year and a half. This is for a different portion of medical school, so if anyone listening has been on the med school journey themselves or as a partner, it's a challenging road. So I really respect you a lot if you're listening and you've done that. But we moved again and we're only going to be there for a year and a half. So I didn't want to go through maybe opening a new studio, building up new student base, so I decided to go location independent and this would have been in 2017. 2017. And it's when I started doing like continued ed trainings. I started my podcast in 2018. I started doing retreats, so instead of having a space where students would come to me, I started going different places and doing like these pop up experiences or doing continued ad trainings. And I started my podcast as a way to continue to share guided meditations with my students back in Missouri. And it just continued to grow and snowball and since we knew we would be moving again shortly, I just kind of stuck with that location independent model. And then we moved back to Minnesota the second time and then it was the pandemic, and then we were all location independent and I was also pregnant with my first child, and so I wasn't doing any traveling. It just continued to grow into what it is today, which looks mostly like my two podcasts, mindful of Minutes and then Meditation mama, which is prenatal and postnatal guided meditations and then doing trainings, like meditation, teacher trainings, virtually traveling every once in a while and then retreats a couple of times a year. So still, I haven't had a physical location for yoga for you since like 2016, 2017. And I'm really happy with teaching that way and particularly meditation yoga needs or things like that since they're mostly an audio medium, it lends itself really well to being able to teach and share from anywhere.

Kara Goodwin 00:28:40 That is beautiful. I love how you have been able to adapt to what life has presented for you and still stay aligned and still answer the call where it could be. So I've been in that situation where it's like, okay, well, I'm moving to support my family because my husband needs to move and then there's a giving up of what we are doing. And that's part of the discussion, at least with our we didn't have to go the way that it's like medical school type of thing. But it was like, oh yes, I want this opportunity too, but we do give up what we're doing. And it has come up in the time since I've kind of started my podcast and I've started my I like this location independent. I always say online.

Kelly Smith 00:29:43 But I have location independent.

Kara Goodwin 00:29:45 I love that. Yeah, but I've built up my stuff and then there has been discussion over time, kind of pre pandemic where it was like, okay, are we going to move far? It's a decision. Like, okay, I've been building something here, so what does that mean?

Kelly Smith 00:30:08 And you get so attached to your student. It's such a beautiful community, too, which is for me, that was the hardest part of creating a studio the first time and then selling it and leaving it's. Like when you're working, when you're location dependent, you have such a special little beautiful community and connection with your students, and it's really hard to leave that and to start all over again, building something new. But I have a lot of respect for you because it's really hard to be moving and you're not the one that the move is for. It's a hard place to be in at times. So hopefully your husband is very appreciative of the sacrifices that you make for him.

Kara Goodwin 00:30:55 Yeah, it's been a win win, so that's good. But yeah, it does have challenges. But it's funny too, that you had this kind of resistance to opening a studio when you were in Missouri because of the things that you were saying. Like, I have a degree and is this the right thing? But it's like that is badass to open a studio, to have a physical location that you're responsible for and maybe you had some staff and you had members. That's a lot. I look at people who have opened studios and I'm like, oh my gosh, that is such a huge undertaking and you should be so proud to have done that.

Kelly Smith 00:31:43 I appreciate that. That's really kind. And the biggest piece of it, it was more of a me problem than. An anyone else problem. And I think at the time and I was in my early 20s then, and I was still doing this kind of self discovery, like connect with the true self work. And I had just started and there was still so much fear in my heart and in my mind around what will people think. And I just had a lot of external pressure of people thinking that I should do more than what I was doing, which in hindsight is disappointing. But I also let that like, when we were talking about being able to turn inward and connect with the true self, I now think about it as like putting on noise canceling headphones and I didn't quite know how to do that. The noise will still be there. People will still have opinions. No matter how connected you are to your true self, people are going to have opinions about things. But going through that journey, and I would have probably done bigger things faster had I not been held back by my own fear of what will people think? And also fear of can I do it? Which is the first few leaps are usually the hardest because you're like, oh, I don't know. I've never done this. Yeah, there's just a lot of fear. And for me, like, fear is important because of course there's that fear that keeps us alive. But I think it's important to be able to look at the fear and say, is this a legitimate fear or is this a fear that's potentially just a self imposed roadblock and being able to look that in the eye and decide, which category does it go in and what do I want to do about that? But if my 24 year old self, 25 year old self would have heard you say that, like, that's so badass, that would have, like, made my made my whole fan. Like, someone thinks this is cool. This is so, you know, good. But it's just, again, it's like connecting to that true self space. Like, now I just kind of willy nilly, for better or worse. And like, I don't know, I'm feeling pulled to do that. Like, when I started my podcast, I was like, I don't know. I'm going to start a podcast, like five years ago. No one really knew what a podcast was. And they're like, oh, you're on the radio. The hardest part about a podcast in 2018 was just getting people to figure out what it was and how to listen to it.

Kara Goodwin 00:34:10 Yes, I started in 2018 too.

Kelly Smith 00:34:12 And so, you know, it's like, yeah. They were like, what is that?

Kara Goodwin 00:34:17 Yeah.

Kelly Smith 00:34:17 Which is so funny now because it's, like, commonplace now, but it just it was a lot of fear.

Kara Goodwin 00:34:24 Yeah. Wonder too, sometimes how much we misinterpret fear. I mean, not that is a logical thing to be like, anytime we're taking a big step in a new direction, there's going to be fear, but there's also going to be a fire and, like, a passion and an excitement. And I think that those things can kind of overlap. And so because they have touch points energetically from an emotions perspective, maybe if anybody is listening and they're going through that right now where it's like they're taking some leap into something and they're really identifying with it as fear if it can be something that's explored a little bit more where it's like, is there a lot of excitement here that I can kind of just turn the prism of my perception just enough to focus in on the excitement and the passion and a little bit less focus on the fear?

Kelly Smith 00:35:31 I love that. It's like my good old therapists will always tell me, it's never about this up here. It's usually about something that's down here. And we just have to kind of lift the lid off of what's up here so that we can see what's actually down here. Because emotions and feelings are very complex. We have a handful of very kind of, like, primitive feelings and emotions, but often it's so complex. Like, you look at resentment, that's a very complex feeling. It's a very nuanced feeling. And you have to kind of look at resentment is the end point. So what stops along the way got me to the endpoint of this thing. And although fear can be one of those kind of very primitive we have it's our amygdala responding to a trigger, a fear trigger. But have you read The Yamas and the niyamas by deborah adele?

Kara Goodwin 00:36:31 No, but I'm familiar with the yamas and the yamas. Yeah.

Kelly Smith 00:36:35 Okay, so I think you would like that particular book. Well, it's one of my personal favorites, so I'm biased. But she has a line about fear, and she says there's two types of fear, the fear that's keeping you alive and the fear that keeps you from living. And I think that which I love, which is true, right? If I'm swimming and I see a shark, the fear that I'm feeling that says, Danger, get out of the water, that's keeping me alive. But my body will process the same kind of fear. If I have a dream of something and I have a fear that people will reject me for that dream, that's not the same thing as I'm swimming and there's a shark, that's a fear that's keeping me from living. And I think that's always stuck with me because when I feel fear, although it can be a primitive emotion, it really helps me to look at, all right, is this fear keeping me alive? And sometimes it's yes, because we don't want to go straight up, just like reckless. But often the fear that we feel the most and for the longest is the kind that's keeping us from living. And I've always trying to put it in one of those two buckets has always kind of helped me but I loved how you described it, like, kind of rotating the prism a little bit, because once you put it in the it's the fear that's keeping me from living bucket. Then we can dig a little bit deeper into that, like, okay. What's actually underneath the surface? Oh, I'm afraid people are going to judge me. Oh, I'm actually afraid that I'm going to judge myself.

Kara Goodwin 00:38:03 Oh.

Kelly Smith 00:38:03 I'm afraid that maybe my friends won't want to be my friends anymore. Oh, I'm afraid that I'll look silly.

Kara Goodwin 00:38:11 Yeah.

Kelly Smith 00:38:12 And then once you name it, fear lives in the shadows. It's like mold where it thrives in the dark back part of your heart's refrigerator, where it's like that old cheese is just hanging back there, and it's just like it is thriving back there. That's what I'm living.

Kara Goodwin 00:38:33 Oh, awesome.

Kelly Smith 00:38:34 But it's like that like, it just it thrives in that deep back, forgotten, neglected part. And once you bring it to the front, you're like, oh, my gosh, look at all this mold. Once you bring it into the light, once you do something to me that's naming it and saying, oh, I'm actually afraid that I'm going to look silly, or for me, often I'm actually afraid I'm going to flop and I'm going to fail and I'm going to try this big, huge thing, and it's going to flop. Like, once you shine light on it, I think it becomes so much easier to navigate.

Kara Goodwin 00:39:07 Yes. That is so valuable. Thank you. That's wonderful. So can you tell us how people can connect with you and find out more about you?

Kelly Smith 00:39:20 Sure. So everyone is welcome over. Come check out mindful of minutes or meditation. mama. If you're in that kind of prenatal postnatal or kind of fertility stage, I would love to have you in either. In my little corner of the Internet. There's lots of guided meditations over there. Otherwise, you can connect with me on Instagram, my handles at Yoga for you online or my website. If you're interested in trainings or retreats, that's Yoga for you online. But just come hang out. Let's meditate together. All are welcome. Come as you are. We'd love to have you.

Kara Goodwin 00:39:57 Wonderful. Well, thank you, Kelly, so much for being here. I have loved connecting with you.

Kelly Smith 00:40:02 Oh, thank you for having me. This was the highlight of my morning.

Kara Goodwin 00:40:05 Oh, yay. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'd love for you to do me one quick favor, which is to think of one person who would benefit from hearing this content. Let them know you're thinking of them by sharing this episode with them right now. Thank you, and I look forward to the next meditation conversation.