262. Transforming Anxiety & Depression through Somatic Healing - Nicole Smith Levay

Nicole Smith Levay - audio only

Kara Goodwin: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the meditation Conversation. The podcast to support your spiritual revolution. I'm your host, Kara Goodwin, and today I'm so excited to be joined by Nicole Smith LaVey. Nicole is a professional dancer, turned energy coach. She integrates somatic therapies, breath work, and meditation into her work with those struggling with anxiety and depress.

Using body-centered techniques, Nicole takes a forward thinking approach to mental health and trauma informed care. /

Nicole is so knowledgeable about energy and somatic therapies. Uh, not sure what somatic therapy means. Uh, while we discuss this too. And how it differs from and can take you [00:01:00] deeper than traditional talk therapy. She gives great insights About the role the body can play in healing and helping us to process trauma. I love discussions like this that helped to illuminate different ways of connecting to our spirit and tapping into our abilities to come into wholeness. 

And Nicole has such a great perspective and so much expertise. So you're in for a real treat. Before we get started just a quick shout out to star family wisdom, online mystery school. I am really excited and honored to be partnering with star family wisdom. Check out episode 2 58 with star family wisdoms, founder, Jenna Laden, where she talks about her remarkable journey and answering the call to use her gifts to help others awaken. 

If you're looking for resources to become an enlightened conscious, elevated human who bridges the cosmos and earth. You want to check out the amazing resources from star family wisdom? Use the links for my show notes. So they know you [00:02:00] heard about them here. And you can get 30% off the goddess ISIS initiation in Syrian star energy activation seven week course. 

By using the code meditation. I've been taking this course and it is chock full of really great activating content. So be sure you check that out. And now enjoy this episode 

Kara Goodwin: So welcome Nicole. I'm so happy to have you here 

Nicole Smith Levay: today. Thank you so much for having me, Kara. I love your show. Um, thank you. Have a great conversation. 

Kara Goodwin: Wonderful. let's talk a little bit about your background and how you kind of found energy work from being a professional dancer previously.

Nicole Smith Levay: Absolutely. So, yes. I'd been practicing yoga. Since my teen years, I had books in my pre-teens and then found some yoga classes, for, you know, I thought it would help my [00:03:00] scoliosis. and then when I began my professional dance career in New York City, there was, Some spaces that had different kinds of classes that were more breath centric and meditation focused.

And I had always had trouble in traditional HAHA classes, or vinyasa flow classes at the end if they had the mindfulness section, before we went home. It was difficult for me to quiet my mind. I was very good at having my body be busy. but when I found these different types of, energy work, breath work, active meditation techniques, they spoke to me and they helped me find, more space between my thoughts.

so that was, Probably back in 2009. It's 20 23, 15 years ago. And, I like to say it was like a cross fade from dance into providing, these [00:04:00] tools and skills and services myself. I just, I felt like it was meant to be. This is the kind of the effect that the teachings were having on me. This is what I wanted to pass on to others.

So, yeah, that's how I made the transition. 

Kara Goodwin: Oh, that's beautiful. And I love that Body like the, you make that connection between your body. You were able to kind of keep your body busy, but when it came to actually being able to quiet your mind, that was a challenge. But then it wasn't the be all end all.

It wasn't just Hey, I'm an active person and I've got an active mind and I can't meditate. You know, it was. Okay, there, this is important. And there are other ways for me to be able to achieve that quiet mind that involve using my body, such as breath work, you know, tuning into the breath to be, you know, to cut through that noise.

So [00:05:00] that's 

Nicole Smith Levay: 100%. Yeah. and using, The mind as a tool in the meditative process. So having it be like the redirection to the anchor Of the breath, so that, you know, like in, in dance, oftentimes if we're wanting the movement to be really pure and present and simple will say, just focus on the task.

Versus some big global experience of the movement. It's like just my hand is moving or just my arm is moving. my knee moves to the left an inch. And I found that with the more active forms of meditation, Yes, the mind fluctuates, right? It comes and goes, but having something to focus on, whether it was the mantra or some counting sequence, or some application of, you know, tuning into the body.

Where is the breath here? Where is the breath there? All of those simple [00:06:00] tasks allowed me to very slowly find that down regulation in my nervous. That the more space between thoughts, deeper breaths, and subsequently, you know, with regular practice feeling like a lot of my triggered or traumatic states, they weren't as pronounced in the day today, the more that I did these practices.

So I very quickly was like, this is for me. I was like this was the path. here it is. When I was ready, it appeared. 

Kara Goodwin: That's beautiful. Now, I'd love for you to talk a little bit about healing for the healers. I believe you work quite a bit with people who are more in the healing space, is that 

Nicole Smith Levay: right?

I do, yeah. Whether professionally or, you know, just interpersonally, you know, tend to be caretakers of others. Mm mm-hmm. And, yeah, folks who. [00:07:00] Care a lot and are very aware of others' needs as well. so healing for the healer, it's just about that we can't, give from an empty cup. and people talk about self-care a lot.

I think it goes layers deeper than that as well. What I help folks do is cease the overgiving on autopilot, put their priorities more in check of, you know, if I'm feeling depleted and burned out and not connected with my core self, you know, my central purpose, the power is within me. Power within healing is the name of my company.

To get back on track. So to reclaim my energy by putting certain daily practices and rituals into place. They don't have to be, you know, three hours every morning. It could be 20 minutes in the [00:08:00] morning, 20 minutes in the afternoon. but when there is that reclamation of their life energy, their life force, when they feel more fully embodied, there's.

A smoother balance of being present with others, being more open-hearted, heart-centered, available for others, as well as connected to their through line, you know, where their sole work is taking them. so yeah, so I do that with a mixture of modalities, somatics, kundalini meditation, breath work journeys, and.

That's where we can make those deep and lasting internal shifts, to connect with the purpose work first, taking care of yourself. I love 

Kara Goodwin: that. Yeah. Thank you for that. Because I do think that there is this tendency to feel like we kind of graduate into, okay, now I am in the healing role. Mm-hmm. And so, You know, what does that [00:09:00] mean and what does that take?

And I love the analogy of trying to give from an empty cup where yeah, there's this replenishment and this honoring that needs to happen. And, the techniques that you talk about, and I think two boundaries Yeah. Are an important part. because it can be this, There can be some confusion about responsibility.

Mm-hmm. And, for on all sides. Yeah. Where it's oh, okay, somebody knows this person personally who does healing work. And then there's this blurring of the lines in terms of what is given and what is, you know, offered and so forth. That sure can be, that can take it out. A healer.

Nicole Smith Levay: Yeah. And, remembering why you started in the first place too, or, I like to see things in, like easily understandable stages as well. So I've been referring to this sort of initiation into what I [00:10:00] teach as like the embodied purpose process. And I feel it starts with grounding down with understanding how the nervous system works.

 understanding self-regulation and co-regulation, finding those deeper breaths, finding those moments of presence and joy and interconnection that you haven't seen before. And then the second phase is more about boundaries. Because you welcome in all this new stuff, things start moving around.

And the second phase is called direct. Your. you have conscious choice, in what you say yes or no to,literally speaking, but energetically as well what you put yourself, around, in front of how you choose to use your time. and then from there,slowing down to understand our sensitivity more.

How we're hearing things, what we're envisioning, what we're sensing in our bodies, Claire sentience about things. I call that hearing the call. And then, yeah, you might make some big holy shifts. I like to say one of my friends, Laura [00:11:00] Franklin had a program when she was around called Holy Shift.

so I give her credit for that, but yeah. Oh, that's funny. Before we go take an action and putting, going for those goals and dreams, I feel like the first three stages set us up to be more coherent and in integrity with ourself and what we're building. and then we can move into momentum.

Kara Goodwin: Mm.that's great. I love that framework. 

Nicole Smith Levay: Thank you. I'm a, I have a lot of earth in my astrology chart for you astrology folks, so I love to make the esoteric very, practical. 

Kara Goodwin: Practical. Yeah. That's so important. I think that's really important as we're. Dipping our toes in or taking our steps, where we're coming from the really 3D material world and starting to learn more about energy and the invisible, you know, how do I operate on my invisible levels, for lack of a better word.

I love that. And it can be [00:12:00] really like that grounding can be so important for bridging those two aspects. Two of many. But it's, it can be really hard to just take that leap and be like, everything's energy and everything is, you know, and it's yeah, okay, I can get on board with that and I can understand it, but yeah, also, yeah, but also I come from this earth experience and that's like everything that I know.

So how does that play into it? So that's really important. 

Nicole Smith Levay: Yeah. Thank you for describing that dance so beautifully. and I think that's part. when I went for my master's degree in somatic psychology, I was inspired by understanding trauma sensitive care more, in the world of breath work and meditation.

It was clear to me as someone who had complex P T S D, still working with it, but, that a lot of the, senior teachers and leaders, teacher trainers, facilitators, folks who've been doing this much longer than me, I respect them greatly, [00:13:00] but I'm glad that the conversation around trauma sensitivity has increased greatly because I think that before we enter the ethers, and.

Talk with the invisible. it could be further dysregulating and disassociating for someone with trauma if they don't first have the tools to feel safe here now. Yeah. In our body. Feel safe enough to take that deep breath and to look in someone's eyes. that's a, I have goosebumps. That's a journey in itself.

That's where it started for me 15 years ago. 

Kara Goodwin: I love that. Thank you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Now, you've mentioned a couple of times the somatic work. Can you talk a little bit, if somebody's not familiar with that term, I'd love for you to just explain a little bit about that, but also how does this approach differ from, for example, talk therapy?

Nicole Smith Levay: Mm-hmm. Yeah, of course. So I think that somatic will become a word just like mindfulness, that it's more in [00:14:00] the. Vernacular vernaculars or zeitgeist. I was like one of those words, I'm not sure which. Yeah. soon, somatic will. but somatic is a philosophy, a science, many modalities have emanated from it.

Somatic at its base level is that the mind, body, and spirit are operating. At the same time, they're one in the same. you can approach it from different avenues. You may have more connection to one avenue or the other. and for all of us, it's all kind of happening simultaneously. So that's somatic. So how that might differ if you have a somatic therapist, who still has all the training of a counselor or a social worker, but specifically, Is naming themselves and their techniques and modalities.

in the somatic world, what might differ is when you are talking about your [00:15:00] experiences, there is a little more attention on what is your body doing. When you start talking about emotionally activating material, how does your breath change? How does. literal tissues change the body's tissues, your facial expressions, your gestures and somatics is a very slow method.

I felt that it paired perfectly with how quickly and deeply healing some of the more, Kundalini and breathwork centric modalities I was certified in. First. Somatics is a little bit more slow and speaking. Dipping the toe in, we unwind these patterns more gradually. So it's a bit more of a commitment somatics, you know?

and you may find, that certain practitioners work with different modalities that may or [00:16:00] may not connect with you. But I encourage you. Find the basic texts from Somatics. I think folks are more familiar with, I'll say Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen first. I always say Peter Levine and Bessel Vander.

Colt cuz their books are more famous, but, I love to support the women of this field as well. know, just, maybe educating your mind first on how some of these systems work. Then when you get into a place like a session or a class where it's experiential, your mind can maybe shut off a little bit more and be more open to that unwinding and healing and integrating that happens with, so, 

Kara Goodwin: And so is that focus on what is happening physiologically.

So you mentioned what's the breath doing? What is your face doing? Mm-hmm.is it at some level, like bringing the awareness to what's happening in the body brings the energy kind of into the body and [00:17:00] the 

Nicole Smith Levay: Yes. Thank you. The awareness. Yes. Thank you for that detailed, honing in. Yeah. So what happens in our triggers and our traumatized moments is it's almost like pieces of us get separated.

Mm-hmm.or splintered. Or splintered, pushed away. Mm-hmm. Um, so what Somatics does is it invites, back into the conversation. The parts that we've shunned or that we haven't had the strength yet to look at, and we, just like you would in a healing relationship with a child or, you know, a loved one, that's a safe space for you.

We normalize that piece of us, that experience that we had, the leaving the body or the bracing or the running, whatever the response was to that stressful event. We normalize it, we understand it, we do move the energy through. There's different,[00:18:00] tactile, modalities where your hand is placed in a certain part of the body.

You will take some active breathing with. You know, visualizations to help. It's very layered. But yes, in essence what happens is we invite back those splintered or shunned pieces, with love and with energy and with breath, and slowly feel a little bit more whole and understanding of ourselves, of why we respond and react the way we do.

Nicole Smith Levay - zcstr: That's 

Kara Goodwin: beautiful. Thank you for that. And because one of the things that a lot of people who are. change their practices from. traditional talk therapy, for example, have talked about that. it's possible to get kind of stuck mm-hmm. In our story where we like, we, we bring it to the surface, we realize, oh my gosh, this terrible, traumatic thing that happened to me years ago is the [00:19:00] foundation.

Some of my problems today and the way that I wor, the way that I deal with things and the relationships that I have and so forth, and it can be. that we just get stuck in that and it's okay, I know the story now, and then we become attached to the story. And it can be something that we keep bringing up the same story we keep No even noticing maybe that, that it's playing out again 

in our lives, but the getting past it can be, just the identification of it is one thing, but, It's not everything. So, yeah. Do you feel that this helps people to have a few more layers to be able to actually get to a resolution? 

Nicole Smith Levay: Yes. Yes. And I feel that is the what you just named as the point where most people come to my work and resonate with it.

They do understand their past. They have been in therapy a while. They're familiar with yoga. They tried guided [00:20:00] meditation. and I think on a non-verbal, and to just be really blunt, spiritual level mm-hmm. They're just wanting the energy to clear and for things to, to harmonize. Now they get it. Mm-hmm.

But they feel blocked. and a lot of my classes and sessions, there, there isn't much talk process. it may come up as just like a starting point, but then, the breath work and the movement, the Cris, the meditations, they finish that healing process or they complete it, I should say.

Kara Goodwin: that's beautiful. So this, I mean, we've really. We've really already addressed the mind body connection, but it does seem like this is becoming more and more mainstream Where people are recognizing this mind body connection. You even just pulled in the spirit mind, body, spirit connection. have you [00:21:00] noticed that there's been kind of a surge in, in the awareness of ourselves as more than like a separate mind, a separate body?

The importance of the entirety of the 

Nicole Smith Levay: being. Oh, for sure. I think those, the, however long wherever you're listening from the lockdown was, and that kind of collective trauma we went through with the pandemic. I think moving out of that, folks are definitely awakening to. Worked for them pre that phase.

You add one more, trauma to the list and it's I need something else here. to feel joy again, to feel some freedom, to find some level of peace and acceptance in, The life I have, the cards I've been dealt, and how I make sense of those. So yeah, I definitely feel like there and a lot of people who maybe were [00:22:00] doing, these practices more, I don't wanna say part-time, but mm-hmm.

Just for their enjoyment or just like a check-in. Every once in a while they've moved into, maybe I'm actually ready to share this with. I would like this to be a bigger part of my life. So I think it's like kind of a gradual, and I know you talk about energy a lot on the show and collective awakening and collective energy.

Yeah. I think there is a huge draw. And right now we're in Eclipse season too, so I think the next Oh, Few weeks. Yeah. yeah. Even more so folks will be drawn to this. I, a lot of people begin with just understanding the tide. of the moon and how they pull on us as well. Mm-hmm.so often introductory offers I'll have here and there for a moon circle or something.

Folks just come in wanting to learn about what's a new moon and a full moon and what's my zodiac sign mean? And I know a Pisces, what's that mean? It's a [00:23:00] new moon, Pisces. And then they end up leaving with this little tangible experience of, whew. I feel more relaxed. I feel more present. I wish I could feel like this more often.

So yeah, it's, that's beautiful. it's beginning. 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Yeah. That's wonderful. one other thing I wanted to talk to you about is burnout and perfectionism and the link between those two and. If you have any suggestions or insights into these two phenomenon phenomena. 

Nicole Smith Levay: Yes. Phenomena. that reminds me of, sorry, this is, I get tangential when I'm having fun, but you know that Muppet song phenomena?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Um, anyways, it's good. Just find some joy and simple moments. Absolutely. yes, burnout and perfectionism. coming from a professional dance background, I think [00:24:00] anyone who took athletics, competition, as a core part of their identity growing up can understand, the, it's never good enough, right?

Like it's just constantly practicing and bettering yourself. And in some ways also, there is a psychosomatic component of, perfectionism that may just come either from inherited or personal experience that, if things could be more in control, if I could control more things, then I feel more safe in myself and in my environment and my relationships.

So I think it's. A prism of both of those things, kind of interrelating, in my personal journey, but a lot of my clients and students as well. and so. Yeah, I think the first invitation is to notice in the body when the over efforting is starting to kick in when it's not just like [00:25:00] leaning in to show up, right?

that was somebody's book, lean in. it's not leaning in to show up, but you've leaned so far forward, you're pitching forward, you're. your mind, the front of your mind is very active. you're tensing, you're bracing a lot. you've left the present moment. You're trying to control something that you can't control.

 all you can do is show up steadily with consistent effort, right? And maybe some contentment, and joy and enjoyment of what you're doing. but to go beyond that, we can't rush the process. We can't rush our healing, we can't rush our, success. I mean, I think that's where some of the mindset work can come into place too, to relieve.

Um, but yes, I do feel there's a big correlation there between. Working really hard, and you definitely don't wanna work really hard at your healing. You don't want your healing to become one other [00:26:00] thing that you get burned out on, so, be, that's such a great thing. Gradual. Think about how long it took you to wind into the place.

if you're just accepting and realizing I am both a perfectionist and I am feeling burned out, think about how many years it took you to get there and be easy on. putting some things into place to gradually unwind it as well. Mm-hmm. 

Kara Goodwin: Thank you. You've said so many really important things there.

And one of the things that I wanna highlight is simply the joy of the experience, right? Yeah. Because. We, I have lived like this for sure, especially, growing up, it was always about like, where am I getting to? It was like achievement based, right? And just do whatever it is that you have to do and then get the a or get the medal or get the whatever it is.

Mm-hmm. And it's really, I find it so healing in and of itself to bring to [00:27:00] mind. That we are here in this life experience to experience, and we get to pick if it's joyful, if it's stressful, if it has to be a certain way, that's really ultimately in our control where we can say, I'm gonna enjoy this.

Like I'm supposed to be here to have fun. So if I'm not enjoying what's happening is there's something that I can do to change how I think about it or to reframe it and. my daughter's a competitive gymnast, for instance, and, they had their state championship a couple of DA days ago. Mm. Which is a big deal.

 it's the big. You know, finale, for lack of a better word, they're still regionals to go, but it's a big like shining, you know, we're, we gotta get to NA or to state. And so she had that and her group started with Beam and almost all of them had a really hard time on Beam and a lot of them fell off.

She fell [00:28:00] off. She is, has been getting on the podium for her overall. total score and things like that. and that's fun. she's kind of graduated into being one of the ones who, she's an old, she's older for that group, you know, it's just like she's kind of earned her stripes there.

And that was the very first event out of four. And I could see as soon as she fell off, it was like, oh, okay, well she's not gonna be on the podium for the overall. And I was just like, okay, I hope she's gonna still enjoy this experience cuz she has three more events to go. 

Nicole Smith Levay: Yeah. It's a long day to be sad.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Right. And it can be easy to just be like, well that's. Now I'm not gonna be able to get on the podium for my overall or for my all around. Mm-hmm. And so I'm not even gonna, you know, I'm gonna be upset. I'm not gonna enjoy myself. I'm gonna be stressed until I know what all the results are. I'm gonna hope everybody else has a terrible meet so that I have a chance.

Mm-hmm. [00:29:00] There were all these things that I'm like, I hope she can just enjoy it. Yeah. You know, she got this far and. And she did, and I was so proud of her. She was so, she did really well on bars and on vault, and ultimately because of that, she still came in forth in the overall, But my husband and I were both talking to her on the way home of just we were so proud of you just for that you, you didn't even flinch.

You know? It was like still giving girls high fives, you know, when they finish their routines and all of that, and it's like, that's what it's about. But it can be really hard. It's so easy to just get stuck in the like, well, I'm supposed to win this or I wanna win this, or the point so 

Nicole Smith Levay: hard for this. Yeah.

And get better. Right, right. Yeah. But the point is, the ultimate meddling is the lessons that you've instilled in her to. Be present, be a good teammate, you know, and then that helped her to continue to succeed because as soon as our mind's not on board, as a, as an athlete, our [00:30:00] performance is gonna go down.

So that's really how I stepped into coaching, was really just confidence coaching for dance students. That's how it began, you know? Yeah. It was like you can practice and practice, but if that moment before you step on stage, there is a recording that's going off in your mind and you are. enjoying this privilege and gift of having a body that can facilitate these movements and being seen by an audience of people in your unique, individualized expression of vulnerability and beauty.

if you can't be present there, I promise you won't wanna keep doing this long term. It'll become more of a chore. So let it go. Yeah. You've practiced enough. Just be present. So yeah. That's so beautiful that, I love that story. Thank you. Oh, 

Kara Goodwin: thank you. and I so appreciate too that, that coaching and awareness for dancers because, You know, a few years ago, my daughter was really into [00:31:00] dance or went through a dance phase, and she was just doing recreational stuff, but I remember her recital and I remember the girls who were on the team and their performances would come up.

I was in tears over and over, you know, it was so beautiful. Like the way the choreography that the teachers had put together and then just the execution. I mean, these girls were, I was so moved emotionally, and I'm not like, I mean, I'm not afraid of my emotions, but I'm not like an overly. Emotional person, and I was like watching practices and getting teary.

Wow. And I was like, what is going on with this? This is really powerful stuff, you know? Yes. So it's, it provides such an amazing experience for people who are watching and then the creative, capabilities that we're tuning into as performers. 

Nicole Smith Levay: yes. I know. It's amazing. Well, we all get a little healing.

That creative experience as a audience member [00:32:00] or a teacher or a, you know, dance participant and I, the, since the pandemic, my reawakening was, I cross faded from dance performance, dance teaching into, I was like, this is where my soul's path feels called. Mm-hmm. To focus on all of the breath work and meditation.

More of helping people therapeutically, and I did kind of splinter off and shun a lot of my dance identity. And I, and that was like a mind trick. I was, like, I don't, I couldn't yet figure out how to integrate dance therapeutically. Mm-hmm. Um, in a way where it wouldn't be overwhelming to me or I wouldn't, I don't know, just have a lot of feels about it.

Yeah. but since the pandemic, I, movement has come back in hugely, from a real organic place. That's how I connected to my spirit as a child, was just moving freely, [00:33:00] putting on my favorite piece of music and moving freely. So this past retreat I just hosted in Costa Rica, it was a pivotal moment I felt like, the ecstatic dance experience I put together with a beautiful playlist with.

 people of all experiences with movement, folks who are like, I do not dance. I am not a dancer. I don't get up at weddings to, they're, I have some professional dancers in my community too, and we just will let loose through this very gradual process of Moving our bodies, safely and freely, giving them some ideas when they felt stuck.

And by the end everyone was just sitting peacefully in meditation, you know? That's amazing. bring. Everything we've learned about indigenous culture and how far removed we are from that with technology, it's technology is great in all, but the speed of our times,has pulled us away from the campfire and, singing together and dancing together and telling stories and.

So [00:34:00] thank you for the work you do in this podcast too, because I feel like, oh, thanks. Podcasting is a bit of the storytelling that we've missed. and yeah, and I'm bringing the other two pieces with the movement and the chanting as well. 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. That's amazing. What a gift. And I've seen some of the, Dancing on Instagram.

I'm not sure the context if that was from the retreat or not, but I re rather recently saw a group of people on your Instagram account doing some dancing. It was like, wow, that looks fun and beautiful. Mm-hmm.it was just so, 

Nicole Smith Levay: so amazing. it was wonderful. I love, I loved watching everybody get so free.

Yeah. in a safe. Right. 

Kara Goodwin: Beautiful. the, we have touched a lot of really deep topics. you have so many gifts to offer people. can you tell people how they can get in touch with you? 

Nicole Smith Levay: Thanks, Kara. I feel the same about you. yes. I'm most active on [00:35:00] Instagram and Facebook at Nicole Smith LaVey, like my name, here in the notes.

And. Yeah, send me a message. check out the links in my bio. They're always moving. I have a big, big beautiful immersion coming up called Forward Momentum, which goes through those four stages I told you about. So you'll learn about that on my social media for sure. 

Kara Goodwin: Oh, wonderful. Well, thank you so much.

This has been amazing. Thank you. Cute. Again, thank you for all the work that you're doing to help to heal people, and it's all really beautiful, all of the work that you've gotten into. Thanks so 

Nicole Smith Levay: much. Thanks so much, Kara. /

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