385. Dream Big and Make It Real: Powerful Transformations - Aneta Ardelian Kuzma

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Kara Goodwin: Welcome to the meditation conversation, the podcast to support your spiritual revolution. I'm your host, Cara Goodwin, and this is such a great episode with Annetta Ardillian Kuzma. She has experienced a radical transformation from being a burnt out bank executive to helping others transform their lives at both the professional and personal levels.

I almost couldn't believe what she shared about her life as an executive, what it had been like, although it did make me think back to how I would burn the candle at both ends when I was living my corporate life. You'll be inspired by how she created a life full of purpose, service, and flexibility.

Annetta is a coach and consultant and the founder of the Ardillion Kuzma Group. Her passion is helping clients create transformational change. She's a former bank executive and now works with high achieving professionals and [00:01:00] entrepreneurs to create mindful leadership, increased focus, creativity, and productivity, and deliver wellness programs to organizations helping teams achieve optimal health.

Be sure you check out Kara Goodwin. com where you can get a free 10 minute meditation. And if you want support for your meditation practice, I have a 21 day online program to help you develop your own practice. There's also the healing hearth membership

where you can get live online assistance with your questions about meditation and life. And you can also get a personalized recorded meditation slash energy transmission to help you get through whatever challenges are showing up in your life. All of that and more on karagoodwin. com. And now enjoy this episode. Well, welcome Annetta. I'm so excited that you're here today.

Aneta: Cara, I'm so excited to be here with you.

Kara Goodwin: We just finished a couple of hours ago recording for your podcast. And so it's [00:02:00] so delightful to get to do these back to back and kind of be in each other's energies and play off each other. And um, so I'm, I feel like we've just had a cup of tea and we're going to have another cup of tea.

Aneta: I know. It's such a gift, isn't it? Such a blessing to be able to meet people through podcasting.

Kara Goodwin: Absolutely. So I'm excited to hear about your transformation because you went from a bank executive to a coach and you have this health focus. And I know meditation and breath work and yoga are all really fundamental to you now, which. You know, we're all multifaceted beings. So, you know, but those things don't necessarily go together for everybody.

So tell us about your, your transformation experience.

Aneta: Yeah, I would say I, um, gosh, well, I immigrated. So I always start with my immigrant story. Um, I just did a talk yesterday [00:03:00] for a group of entrepreneurs and I think this will make sense and it was called thriving beyond the hustle. And um, and I would say my hustle story started when I was five years old because when I started kindergarten, I didn't speak any English.

And so. My only thing that I could do when you can't speak to make friends, to ask questions is really observe. And so my observation was that, um, I needed to work really hard to catch up. And then when I started working really hard and I started learning language and then I was getting great grades and I was getting a sticker next to my name every day. I became very addicted to the praise and to external validation and to my self worth like, okay, I'm good. I will be successful if I work hard. And so I became like a classic people pleaser. I followed all the rules cause that's what I was doing was observing what rules do I need to follow in order to be successful in this country, in this new culture. [00:04:00] And so I did that for a really long time. And I think that's why it made sense for me to work for a company that was in town, for a large bank, um, somewhere I could grow my career because that's what I knew. You just worked really hard. You got promoted. You continue to work really hard. You got moved into another role. And I think I just thought that I was going to do that until retirement. Like I didn't know what else to do. My parents didn't go to college. And so it was like, okay, I think this is what people do. And, um, I got sick in 2011. Um, I had health scares. Luckily they were not, um, Severe, but I had a surgery on my breast in October of 2011 for a lump that was found.

And then a couple of weeks later I had a ruptured cyst, um, on my ovary

Kara Goodwin: Oh my gosh.

Aneta: and had a surgery to go in and kind of clean that up and see if they could save the ovary.

Kara Goodwin: A couple of weeks after your surgery that happened

Aneta: and November.

Kara Goodwin: and two different places, but both [00:05:00] feminine. Wow.

Aneta: And

Kara Goodwin: Oh my goodness.

Aneta: a doctor who specialized in women's hormonal health.

And he said, are you sleeping? And I said, well, no, not well. And he said, are you exhausted? Like when you wake up? And I said, well, yeah, isn't everybody. I was working full time. I had two daughters. I was raising my husband. I were raising. Um, I went to, I was in graduate school, getting my MBA and executive program, which was full time as well.

So I had a lot that was going on. I had a department of over 40 people and, um, I was, um. Struggling. I mean, I was running. I was doing yoga. I was trying to do things all the time, but

Kara Goodwin: When you were still just one person doing all of that? Just one? Oh my gosh. I, I think you just need a team of yous. Like, just get all the Annettas together and we can divvy this stuff out because that's so much. Wow.

Aneta: goes back to your question. I wanted to provide the back story. So when I saw the doctor, [00:06:00] he said your cortisol levels are of that of a 3rd shift doctor. Which means when you should be sleeping, you've got cortisol pumping through your body, probably because I was worried thinking about all the stuff I needed to do. then when you wake up, you're exhausted cause you basically have been running all night long. And he told me, he's like, you have to change. Things are going to have to change or the next time you get sick, it won't be. Easy. You know, luckily both my biopsies were benign. And, um, so I did. And so I really recommitted to my yoga practice.

I started practicing in the nineties. I started to meditate and I started to carve out time in the morning for a morning routine. I started to sleep better, really focusing in on doing the things I needed to do there. um, I stopped working seven days a week, right? I said, okay, I'm going to need to outsource some things that, um, I can no longer do by myself. And, um, and I made a big [00:07:00] shift. I also said at work, um, I don't want to do the role I'm in anymore. And I never in my life have ever backed away from anything. And I said, um, I want something else. And there was another role available that was, had one person. reporting to me. It was a strategy role, so it was very different than a lot of the execution and operations. um, so I moved into that role, which was a little bit hard for my ego because I was, know, operating in this, uh, very masculine way for so long. And that was the beginning of me really saying, Okay. know what I need to do to take better care of myself. And it started working um, I fell in love with all these practices.

I really was on the spiritual journey as I was continuing to explore more and more. um, I hired a coach and I said, you know, I don't think I want to retire from here. In fact, I know I can't do this anymore for the next 20 years or so. was, I think in my forties when I reached out to her. [00:08:00] And, um, so I wrote. wildest, most amazing, big, bold, beautiful vision for my life that I loved so much that, I had no other choice but to start taking action to make it a reality. So two years after that, I quit my job and started my business and it'll be six years in January.

Kara Goodwin: Now, I can only imagine the courage that it took to step down from, I mean, even just that step down from staying with the company. But like you said, the ego hit that you took, I mean, and you know, there's a female side to this too, in terms of being an executive kind of overcoming what so many women don't have the opportunity to, to do, um, but then kind of forcing yourself into a masculine Kind of [00:09:00] mode of operating, um, talk about the courage muscle to break it and, and how, how to work that so we can break out of comfort

Aneta: Yeah,

Kara Goodwin: and habit.

Aneta: yeah, I, you know, I don't know if I saw myself as courageous, but I felt like I had fear, I still had so many fears that I was working through because, um, I only knew one way to do things. And so trying to do something different. It was super scary and, um, and so I would distract myself a lot.

Um, so after I finished my MBA program, um, the same month I signed up to run a marathon and I'd never run more than like maybe, I don't know, four miles at that point. So I did stupid stuff still on this journey, but, um, I decided that instead of doing things like that, like signing up for a marathon, I was going to [00:10:00] say yes. To the things that scared me that were actually going to get me where I wanted to go and my business. And so that was a shift. And, um, you know, I prepared myself for two years. I was not one of those people that felt comfortable taking risks, like, okay, I have a vision. Let me quit my job and have no income. Um, until, so I started building the bridge. I, I call it building the bridge. And I say the same thing to my clients. Just start building the bridge from where your life is now and where you wanna go. And just take small steps, right? Start researching coaching programs. How, what does it look like to get certified? Go. I went and I got my yoga teacher certification. Then I got my meditation certification. So I started taking action even while I was at the bank, still doing a good job. I kept getting promoted there and it was actually, you know, it was great, but I, um, I was building the bridge every day. And I think for me, that was a good like way to.

Not fear taking the steps because I still felt like I had this [00:11:00] big safety net. then one day, Kara, I will tell you, it was like in one moment, I knew that I was going to leave. And, um, it was just the day. And I say this all the time. I say it's the day my faith was greater than my fear. Like I just felt a shift and I was like, Oh, the time is right. Like, so I actually reached out to my boss and texted him and I said, I need to meet with you over the weekend. I don't want to wait until Monday. And so he was, he was like, Oh, what's going on? And I had a great relationship with him, but, um, it just felt like immediate. And I was so scared, like, please don't let me chicken out. And so, um, I met with him on a Sunday morning at a coffee shop and was like, this is what I want.

Kara Goodwin: That's amazing.

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: you talked about this like two year, like you built out this dream. You worked with your coach to build out the stream.

Aneta: Mm hmm.

Kara Goodwin: Talk about that. Talk about how you, how you [00:12:00] were able to tap into even like what could an alternative life be and then what you put into place to help you get there.

Aneta: yeah, such a great question because I don't think we ever are really taught to dream like we dream as young kids and then I feel like they're sort of, um, like we're conditioned to stop dreaming or we're told to be responsible or we're told like, no, this always have a backup plan. You know, all these things we ask people, what's your plan B if you can't do this? And, um, so really started with, um. A lot of assessments and a lot of questions and a lot of deep dive reflective work, which was just unearthing in me things that maybe my highest self, my inner knowing new, but I wasn't aware of because I was so distracted. so a lot of that was just like a lot of thought provoking questions.

And then, you know, like, what are your values? Like, what are those things that are [00:13:00]important and really dreaming? What would it look like if you got to do anything you wanted to do? And I will tell you, like, what I, what I wrote down is what I'm living today. None of it existed. I wasn't certified to teach anything.

Like, the fact that I even said, And I wrote all this. I said, I want to write books. I want to host retreats all over the world. I want a podcast. I want to coach people. I want to go into companies and, you know, do wellness programs. Like all of these things were, I mean, I could have said, I want to be purple.

I mean, none of it was real, but it was just like, It was just, I allowed myself, I think over time with some practice to just dream. And she said, don't censor anything. Don't worry about the how we're not even get to the how for a long time. And we actually didn't get to the how until towards the end of our coaching program, which was, I think, really helpful because so often we're so used to saying, okay. Well, how [00:14:00] can I make it happen? And if I can't figure that out, then choose something different or choose something easier. And it wasn't about that. It was about in love with your dream for your life, like so significantly and so passionately. That you can't help, but just start taking action on it. And then we built, um, little steps. We said zero to six months. What are the things I'm going to start doing? You know, six to 12 months. What does that look like? You know, 12 to 18 months, because I didn't know how long I would still stay. And, um, so we built out, I think a three year plan out and, um, And then I, you know, was able to leave within two years after that.

But it really just starts with allowing yourself to imagine. And when I do this visualization with my clients, I always say, we're going to go 10 years out because when you put a decade and you make people say, okay, in 10 years, I will be this age and this is how old my partner will be, or my children or, you know, whatever it is. It wakes people [00:15:00] up because 10 years goes by so fast. And so then, you know, you do the work and you're like, okay, if that's what you want 10 years from now, what does five years look like? What is one to three? And then you start to put your, your mind just automatically starts to say, okay, well then these are the actions I need to take to get there.

Kara Goodwin: Oh, I love it.

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: So talk about the role of meditation and breath work through throughout this process.

Aneta: Oh my gosh. So meditation, I mean, has been a lifesaver for me. Just, there's no way I would have been able to do all the things that I did if I didn't have a meditation practice. But when I, um, left corporate and suddenly I had a calendar that was pretty open as I was building my business, I more, I would meditate, um, morning and afternoon because I had so many of those limiting beliefs and thoughts still, even though I made the decision and I was the work, I was still [00:16:00] terrified.

And so, you know, when they say 50 to 80, 000 thoughts a day, Oh yeah, guaranteed. I was having, you know, all of those thoughts all the time. So meditation helped me. Just to sit still it allowed me to not try to distract myself with things that weren't aligned it allowed me to come back to the breath over and over again and to regulate and to quiet my nervous system and to really come back to a place of Peace and of calm and what I was seeking so it gave me a Clarity, it gave me focus, but also just the discipline of showing up for myself twice a day and re centering and coming back to where I needed to be. It was just a game changer. I never would have been able to do everything that I've done. Uh, as easily or in a very healthy way if I didn't meditate every day.

Kara Goodwin: Hmm. I love what you say with discipline because that I find that the balance between [00:17:00] discipline and then like being in a flow and being the creator, you know, it's,

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: this, like, we, we can't be so, or it doesn't serve us to be as So disciplined about everything in our life, that everything is this routine that we, you know, it's, it's unnegotiable.

We, you know, this is how we make coffee at this time and it lasts for this long. And then we immediately do the next thing, you know, and it's like, if we're so rigid where we can't, the flow can't come in because we're, we're too, too rigid, but, but we also need. To have some discipline and have some practice that we're doing to, to help shape and help kind of keep us in that flow and, and, and directing it also, you know, if we're just like laid out, like, okay, whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen.

You know, it's kind [00:18:00] of like life just washes over us and, and it's, it's hard to be effective in that way. So.

Aneta: I agree. And I call it, like I say, it's devotion and discipline. Like I just

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Yeah.

Aneta: I don't always want to wash my face before I go to bed, but I do because I know that it's important. I want healthy skin. I don't want to get my pillowcases all dirty. I don't want to wake up with guck in my eyes.

Like, so I do. And I brush my teeth and floss my teeth for, because I, it's important for me to take care of myself in that way. And I think meditation is the same thing for me. It's like, It's a devotion, devotional practice, because it does bring me closer to myself, to God, to, um, a state of, you know, higher vibration and frequency. it also is a discipline and a practice that I show up for myself because I intentionally choose to do that. Because It's aligned to my goals, to my values, to all of it. So I see it as, [00:19:00] as both. If you just wait to feel good or to want to do something, we don't do a lot then.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah.

Aneta: stay in bed.

Kara Goodwin: I love that you bring up the washing the face because that is another one for me where I'm like, you know, kind of like for some reason that's always something that I do. I kind of break away and go wash my face at night and it's always like, can I be bothered? And I'm like, yeah,

Aneta: Yes. You got to do

1. You're going to feel better.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. So what type of people do you work with now that you're on the side?

The other side and you're coaching people. Do you work with a lot of executives, people who have a similar, um, experience as to what you had or, and mostly female or what's it like for you?

Aneta: Yeah. It, I have males and females and, um, I work with high, I call them high achieving. are entrepreneurs who have followed all the rules, done everything, and they [00:20:00] get to a point where they're like, huh, is this it? Like I did all the stuff. Should I be feeling better? Should my health be better?

Should my relationships be better? Maybe maybe I should have more satisfaction. In life or with my job. And so they have done all the things they are ready to do the work. And they also know that they don't know how to do it on their own. So it's me like a decade ago, it's me before. And, um, and I love that I work with males and females because, um, working with women.

And I also think that there are a lot of males out there who are also struggling and things manifest in them differently physical, you know, we have a lot of heart disease. We've had a lot of loss that in there and a lot of burden of carrying responsibility, but not necessarily. Um, the ability to share in a way or, you know, no, one's really modeled that kind of behavior.

So, um, and [00:21:00] in my meditation group in the morning, I would say it's like half and half. Um, I love it. It's a lot of men are showing up every morning meditating and, um, it really makes me happy knowing that they're going into their families and then their workspace, um, starting from that place every morning.

Kara Goodwin: That's beautiful. There was something that you said earlier about when you, um, the importance of meditation, especially when you came out of your bank job. Your executive job and you started your new job. Um, and it reminded me of a recent podcast that you've had. Um, and I can't remember who your guest was, but she was talking about being, she had been like a VP at, at big corporations and,

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: and then she stopped working to care for her son, care for her family and

Aneta: Lori Pine, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: yes, and, and it was this Like finding all this time [00:22:00] and trying to like, be okay with that and figure out what to do with that.

And so if people are in, in how long it takes, and, and I actually come from a corporate background too. I worked as a client executive for, uh, the client executive part was the last part before we moved abroad. But, um, You know, I, I've done blue chip companies and corporate consulting, all kinds of things.

And, uh, so I also remember like when you, you kind of step off of the, you know, the pier and you're suddenly like, Oh my gosh, what do I do with myself now?

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: So what are some things that you found as you came up against that in, I mean, it sounds like you had things pretty well planned out, um, by the time you actually left.

But if there are people who are kind of in that middle ground right now, what can you tell them? That's

Aneta: [00:23:00] Well, it was scary. Um, my calendar was, which was a brand new Google calendar for my business. So literally, if you go back to it, and I had this as a slide yesterday, the presentation I did to entrepreneurs, there was nothing on there except for the national holidays. Every day was blank. And that was, um, terrifying. And so that's where I went back and I said, okay, I could recreate this. Exactly the way my life used to be in meetings all day long, no time to eat, like all those things, or I'm going to do this differently. And so I just said, what's my ideal work week look like? And what do I want to do? Oh, well, I want to meditate in the morning myself.

I want to practice yoga. I want to make sure I can get a walk in great. Maybe I don't start seeing clients until, you know, nine in the morning. Okay. That feels good. I want to take lunch every day. Well, good. Let's mark that in. I'd like to be, get off of work at five because my husband comes home and I want to be able to do those things. [00:24:00] Great. Maybe I'll see some clients, you know, in the evenings on Tuesdays, because typically that would be okay. Okay. How do I just Wednesday? I literally just said, what would feel so good to me? And then I was flexible enough. If something came up, of course, and the client could only do a certain time, I was building a business.

And so I was realistic, but starting from what I wanted. Versus like just arbitrary and allowing to just unfold the way they would was really helpful. So I say, pick your intentions around what feels good to you. And over time, I've been blessed to be able to continue to refine it where I say, Mondays, I don't see clients.

I will see them Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, half a day, Friday, and then Friday afternoons, I don't see clients. Of course I adjusted if I need to, but you know, and then Tuesdays and Thursdays are days I record podcasts. Like you can do whatever it is that you want to do and then just be flexible enough.

If you need to adjust, of course, but if you don't start from that place, You're [00:25:00] not going to have any sort of structure that feels good, and you'll find yourself in the exact same spot that you were before. So that's what I did. And, and luckily it's, it's worked well.

Kara Goodwin: beautiful. And when you work with people, are you working with people who are wanting to transition into entrepreneurship, or are you working with just. A variety of types of clients.

Aneta: Yeah. So I, I got certified in executive coaching in health and wellness and in life coaching. And um, because I wanted to be able to, you Work with people with whatever their needs are. So sometimes people, um, want to leave and don't know what they want to do. Sometimes people want to leave and they have a business in mind and they want to start that as a side hustle before they leave. Sometimes I work with people because their health and wellness isn't great. They just want mindfulness. They just want to get healthy again. They want to figure out how to focus and prioritize their life. And they want to stay in their job and their career because they love [00:26:00] it. It's just really stressful and they don't know what to do about it.

So it really, um, it just depends on the person. And I love that I, I had the proactive thought to say, I don't want to have to refer someone to something, someone else. Now, sometimes I refer people to therapists if it's not a coaching opportunity, but I want to be able to work with people on all their needs. And so a lot of times clients will come to me with at least two or three and we're able to build programs around their specific needs.

Kara Goodwin: Hmm. That's beautiful. Now your podcast is living the width of your life.

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: is that the correct title? The full title

Aneta: of your

Kara Goodwin: live the width of your life. Um, and so tell us, I want you to explain what that means, but also I want you to answer it because you always ask your guests

Aneta: Yeah.

Kara Goodwin: what, it means to them.

So I want to know what it means for you.

Aneta: Yeah. So, um, found the quote and Diane Ackerman [00:27:00] said the quote, and I, when I was in corporate, it said something to the effect of, um, I don't, at the end of my life, I don't want to look back and realize I only lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it. I spent some time asking myself, what does that mean?

And am I living the width of my life? And the answer was no, I was. Living the length in the sense of I was constantly looking at the next achievement, the next goal, living for the weekend, living for the holidays. You know, I was just always looking ahead, never really in the present moment. And, um, so for me, um, And I think everybody's definition is different.

For me, living the with is that we can't control how many days we are given to be alive, but we can control what we do with the days that we have been given. So for me, it's, um, making sure that every day I show up for the things that I say are most important to me. So my calendar is a direct reflection [00:28:00] of the things that I value. My family, my friends, my health, my clients, um, acts of service in the universe, you know, and so it's really building your life around the things that you say are most important and then showing up for yourself in that way. And, um, I think under foundation of all of it is service, is love, it's relationships. Um, because those are the things that really bring us peace. Those are the things that bring us joy. And um, I've been fortunate enough to be able to build a life that, uh, I do feel like I'm living the width of it.

Kara Goodwin: That's beautiful. And what sort of things are you doing now? Like now that you're established, you're six years in, right?

Aneta: It'll be six years in January. .

Kara Goodwin: you're six years in, in January and so you're, you're established. You're not in the same place that you were when you came out of your executive job.

What types of things are you doing now to kind of. Get you [00:29:00] so I'm, I'm kind of speaking out of both sides of my mouth. Cause I know like the present moment and like serving, like what is coming now. But if we do look at the length and do look ahead to what's coming, like what. What are you kind of working towards now that you see for the next version of yourself?

Aneta: Yeah, absolutely. So, um, I want to keep writing books. And so I've written one book and a journal that accompanies it. And so I really, I love to write and I love to read. And so I want to continue to write and to publish, um, fairly regularly. I also love to speak. So I said 2025, um, I want it to be a year of a lot more speaking engagements and, um, yeah.

I really want to do a TEDx talk. Um, that's something that's been on my vision board for a long time. Um, I want to continue to do retreats. I do retreats, international and domestic. I want to continue to do more of them and really play around with what does that look like, um, [00:30:00] where they could be even more niche based and go really deep. Um, and I would love to do, um, a group program online. I do. Don't I haven't done that. I, I do a lot of corporate group programs, but I would love to do something maybe online that appeals to people that don't want to do one on one and be able to scale. So I think that's the next frontier is really saying, how do I take all the things that I'm doing?

How do I scale and also weave all these things together? You know, that's the one nice thing about retreats is I can teach yoga and meditation and breath work, and we do coaching and I also get to explore and do the cultural things that I enjoy. continuing to, um, to scale, but also to make sure that the things that I'm working on are all really tied together.

Kara Goodwin: Hmm. That's beautiful. Well, how can people connect with you and find your book and your journal and find out how to work with you and find your podcast?

Aneta: Sure. Thank you for asking. Um, my website is the [00:31:00] easiest way to find all of those links. So Annetta kuzma. com. And I know you'll include the link in the show notes and, um, you can find everything, my books available on Amazon and the journal, the podcast is available everywhere. And I'm pretty active on LinkedIn and Instagram, but I do have. all of the channels. Um, my virtual assistant's really good at posting things out on TikTok. I have a YouTube channel, um, as well. And, um, but yeah, I would love to hear from folks and, uh, I do have some free resources. So I offer my morning yoga and meditation for a week for free for people to try it out. And then I also do a free breath work, um, at noon. Eastern time every Thursday for half an hour. So if someone's curious about breath work and they want to do it virtually, you don't even have to turn your camera on. It's a great way to do it and a wonderful pick me up at lunchtime.

Kara Goodwin: That's beautiful. Wonderful. Well, thank you so much, Annetta, for being here. I've loved this discussion [00:32:00] and I'm so grateful for all the work, all the good work that you're doing and putting out there in the world. Thank you.

Aneta: It's been a pleasure.

Kara Goodwin: Thank you for listening to this episode of meditation conversation. I would be so grateful if you could share this episode with someone in your life who would appreciate it. Your sharing builds momentum and makes high vibrational content such as this more accessible and easier to find. And I'd also be grateful for you to subscribe to this content.

Thank you for your support and I look forward to the next meditation conversation.