309. Soothe High-Functioning Anxiety - Sara Webb

Kara Goodwin: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Meditation Conversation, the podcast to support your spiritual revolution. I'm your host, Kara Goodwin, and today I'm joined by Sarah Webb. Sarah is a certified meditation coach and master teacher specializing in high functioning anxiety. She empowers CXOs with the closet anxiety to take back control of their lives by teaching them to relax so they can have more energy and focus on what's important. Sarah teaches leaders and overachievers with high functioning anxiety, Pocket size techniques to process stress, improve daily happiness, and bring the best versions of themselves to their own lives. She resides in sunny [00:01:00] Florida and travels internationally for workshops and speaking engagements, and she's the author of Look Lush, which is full of her original poetry. Artfully outlining her rise from victim to Victor, surviving rape, getting sober and coming out of the closet.

Sarah's path to becoming the truest version of herself is as inspirational as it is heartbreaking. She talks about the ancestral and cultural conditioning that kept her authenticity hidden for so long. And the violent event that became a catalyst to change that. She's now contributing her full, true self to the world through her meditation breath work and transformational guidance. I got so much out of this discussion and I know you will too. And before we dive into today's episode, I've got something truly special to share with you, our stress sleep issues, or anxiety holding you back. Well, I've discovered a game changer. That's about to transform your [00:02:00] life. Let me introduce moon bird, your personal breathing coach. Picture this sweet little companion in your hand, guiding you through rejuvenating breathing exercises, moon bird turns meditation from abstract to accessible making calm breaths, a seamless part of your daily routine. Shaped like an avocado moon bird. 

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Kara Goodwin: So Sarah, welcome. It's such a joy to have you here.

Sara Webb: Thank you so much for having me, Kara.

Kara Goodwin: And we were just talking before we started recording about how we've just had all these near misses because we've been trying to do this, I think since the spring. And here we are at the end of October. It's almost Halloween. So So thank you for your 

patience as we've tried to Try to coincide, but because you're in Florida, we've been impacted by the storms and I think we've, two of the times that we've had to reschedule have been for storms and so on, so it's so nice to finally get to meet you

Sara Webb: Okay. Same here. Yeah. Thank you for your patience.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Yeah. So I would love to start by talking about your personal journey. Can you talk about how you got to where you are today, helping people with hidden anxiety and, these high functioning CXOs.

Sara Webb: I didn't know I had anxiety. For the longest [00:04:00] time I thought it was just stress, and I thought it was completely normal. I focus on high functioning anxiety because it's not necessarily talked about a lot. You won't find it in the DSM, you'll find generalized anxiety and for generalized anxiety, we go into fight or flight, just like for high functioning anxiety.

But with generalized, we tend toward that flight. We shy away. We don't want to go in public or do that thing with high functioning anxiety. We fight for approval. We fight for recognition. We fight for significance. We try to control our circumstances and the people around us and the opinions that other people have about us.

So when I found out about high functioning anxiety, I realized that I've had this my entire life. I've been an overachiever. I've, I'm always in leadership positions and I do things that maybe some people [00:05:00] wouldn't normally do. I tend to sometimes take on too much and end up overwhelmed because I'm a yes person.

I wanna say yes, and I wanna help. I'm a healer. And all of those things have . Been masterfully created by my complex journey. I grew up in southern Louisiana in a very strict Southern Baptist household, and I went to college, and then after college I was out one night and was drugged and raped by eight men

Kara Goodwin: Oh

Sara Webb: and

That began me trying to just deny what had happened. I didn't go to the police. I didn't tell anybody. I told my sister

Kara Goodwin: did you realize what had happened?

Sara Webb: oh yes, I had some memories the next day. And of course, a woman knows, 

Kara Goodwin: [00:06:00] Yeah. 

Sara Webb: It was very brutal. I was pretty beat up and I. Was afraid

I was actually on vacation with my family at the time, so my family was there and didn't know 

Kara Goodwin: gosh. 

Sara Webb: was 28 years old, and I'm so lucky to have survived it.

I'm very lucky that they propped me up on a bench outside of the hotel room where we were staying, and I did not feel like I had enough information to go to the police, and I was just afraid that I would be blamed. this was before the Me Too movement,

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: and I did tell my sister and she really encouraged me to go to the police, but I just went into denial process, not really wanting to admit what had happened.

I ended up drinking more than I should in order to, put a wet blanket over my emotions. And when I got pregnant in 2016, that was the first time I stopped [00:07:00] drinking alcohol in the past, like eight years before that. And I started realizing that I was having an automatic thought every single day.

So I started changing my relationship with alcohol after my daughter was born. I. I did start drinking again whenever I was allowed to. And my daughter, when she was about 18 months old, picked up this little, it was actually a Mardi Gras cup and I'm from outside of New Orleans. It was a little chalice, a little toy.

We were at a friend's party and she took a sip and she said, diss my wine. and that hit me in my solar plexus. I could feel like, what am I teaching my daughter to do? What is she gonna emulate as a result of my actions? So I started changing my relationship with it right then and there. And meditation is what got me through all of it.

When I started meditating, I was five months pregnant and it [00:08:00] really helped me with. Petering out all the volatile emotions, that were, all the hormonal changes that go on when we're pregnant. And at five months I, after just hiring a meditation coach and meditating for a few weeks, my ex-husband was, wow, you are different.

What's your meditation coach's number? And

Kara Goodwin: really? 

Sara Webb: he even learned as well. And since then I've learned lots of different styles of meditation and I don't miss it. It is definitely part of my routine. It allows me to calm my nervous system down when I'm feeling that anxiety or feeling like I can't handle something or any number of.

Things throughout the day. And then of course it's just done wonders on my ability to recognize what disempowering things I might be saying to myself inside of my head. So yeah, that was one question and [00:09:00] a long-winded answer about

Kara Goodwin: answered. Beautifully answered. Yeah. Well, it's a pretty big question. And I know that, In addition to that, the rape, which just sounds, that's just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry that you went through that and I know that being on the other side of it

it was the Propulsion to, such amazing, at such an amazing way to live your life. But I really, wish for you that it had been a bit gentler than that. but I know that coming out was also a major event for you, and you touched on that a little bit in your story, but how, what role did that play in shaping what you were destined for?

Sara Webb: Yeah, I love that word, destiny, right? Healing requires injury

Kara Goodwin: Mm.

Sara Webb: and I am so blessed. That I've had so many opportunities to heal in my life [00:10:00] growing up in the background that I mentioned early on, I knew that it was not okay to be gay or bisexual, which is what I was calling myself in my late teens and early twenties when I was in college.

I never told my parents, I never came out to anybody. Of course, I had girlfriends, but I was not . Broadcasting that to anybody. 'cause I didn't think it was any of their business. 

and so I hid in the closet for a long time, and as I mentioned,I wanted to have a baby and so alcohol was very

it was a convenient tool to be able to continue to date men and, have a baby the right way. The way that I knew my parents would accept, and it sounds backhanded and malicious, but it really wasn't. It was more of protection just to . Protect myself. And I think I'm, I was technically bisexual, but after that event [00:11:00] I really didn't want to have to do that anymore.

But alcohol provided that, that ability for me to do that. And when I finally kicked the habit after I got a divorce, 'cause I couldn't get sober in the house with my ex-husband, he still drinks. He didn't like it for me not to drink. Then I was really able to say, wow, I don't have to be intimate with men anymore.

I can have relationships with women. And it's just, as a woman, it's a lot easier to have a relationship with a woman. I think we understand one another a lot better, and yeah, so coming out in my thirties just seemed like a really natural thing to do. I guess it was 38 when I came out to my family.

And I was summarily rejected by my parents. I even told them what had happened to me and they were shocked and horrified, but did not believe me that I'm gay. Think that [00:12:00] it's a choice and they still try to pray the gay away and try to tell me to get back together with my ex-husband, which is ludicrous, and send me Bible verses.

We have a good relationship, but it's just . not what I wish it was. I wish that they would allow me, I'm 42 now. Allow me to be the person that I am without trying to control who I am. And so I came out to the world when I was 40, on social media,

Kara Goodwin: Uhhuh,

Sara Webb: and that was really empowering.

So many people reached out to me and were very encouraging and accepting. I didn't have a whole lot of . Backlash. But over the years, so many of my, like Reiki practitioners or acupuncturists used to tell me that my throat chakra was blocked.

And I used to be so confused about that because I am a pretty loud rambunctious.[00:13:00] 

Buoyant. Yeah. Well, I'm really an ambivert. I need a lot of alone time, but I can be 

Kara Goodwin: That's new. I've never heard that. Okay.

All right. Well, you come across so

confident and outgoing. Yeah.

Sara Webb: right? And so I was really confused about this throat chakra and it finally hit me during a meditation several years ago that I wasn't living my truth, I wasn't speaking my truth for so long,

and my throat chakra has not been blocked ever since. 

Kara Goodwin: that makes so much sense. Yeah.

Yeah.

That's great.

Sara Webb: And now I lead, chanting, chanting and mantra meditation are really dear to my heart.

And I think being able to really live my truth from this area. when our chacos are aligned and our heart is able to connect at that higher heart, heart throat connection, and we feel like we can be fully ourselves. So [00:14:00] chanting has been a really big part of . The evolution of my meditation practice.

I am leading chanting tonight. I led one last night. It's just so powerful and it's really a combination of pranayama, which I'm certified in as well, love pranayama meditation. But when we chant the pranayama, the breath control is there.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: And there's the addition of the literal vibrations we're producing in our bodies, and I'm sure you've heard that the fifth chakra is very connected to our sacral chakra.

The second well, when we have sexual trauma, when any trauma that involves our creativity or relating to our ability to be free, or even if we have like literal body trauma in this hip complex. If you've ever taken an anatomy class or any kind of a yoga or medical practitioner, that hip, hip complex is incredibly complex, [00:15:00] and this is a way that we can produce, be creative, and liberate this area, which I discovered firsthand when I gave birth at a birthing center with no drugs,

Kara Goodwin: good for you,

Sara Webb: And did some literal, like guttural chanting. My practitioners told me that when I was in it, you're gonna wanna do this. And I thought, no way. I am not gonna wanna do that. And it is so powerful. It does unlock this area down here.

Kara Goodwin: Oh, that's so 

interesting. 

Sara Webb: sorry to continue on this,

the

shape of our larynx, if you look at it from above, looks almost identical to

The shape of our reproductive organs

Kara Goodwin: Really.

Sara Webb: on the inside, if you look 

Kara Goodwin: How fascinating. 

Sara Webb: And so, they really mirror one another. They're created very similarly. Yeah. It 

Kara Goodwin: That's so interesting because do you know Donna Eden?

She's the, 

Sara Webb: have [00:16:00] to write her down.

Kara Goodwin: energy 

medicine, so she's does, she's .One of the pioneers, she's been doing it for a long time. modern pod pioneers, of course energy work's been around forever.

Sara Webb: Right.

Kara Goodwin: she can see energy in the body. She can see like where there are gaps, where things are

outta balance and things like that. But I remember she, 'cause I followed her work for a few months and I haven't looked at her stuff for a while, so I I might not have it exactly right, but there was this like Celtic chakra like connection exercise. 'cause she does like this whole combination of tapping 

and like where she's using the meridian where lines and the chakra system. But she's just using like,your hand rather than it being like acupuncture, it's like taking your hands and either tapping or just like touching or like doing circles or whatever. And there was, I just remember it was like this, it was something with [00:17:00] Celtic origins, but it used the chakras or chakras and maybe there was some meridian something in it too, but it was, it started at the heart and then you just did this spiral to each chakra.

And I can't remember now if it was Like which way you rotated, or maybe it depended, but she, I remember her talking about like,you do the heart to the solar plexus, up to the throat, to the sacral. And she would talk about like, how, I remember her talking about how connected the second and fifth chakras were.

And, in that it was the Celtic Weave, I think is what it was called. and that was the first time that I had heard that and I'm like, oh, it makes so much sense because the creativity is expressed in

both places and I didn't realize the anatomical connection. So,

so interesting. Yeah.

Sara Webb: When you said seeing energies, it sounds like Dr. Sue Mortar's work, the Energy codes. I don't know if you've read that 

Kara Goodwin: She is, yes. And actually she's local to my area. [00:18:00] I live in the same

town as Dr. Sue. and that was how I learned about Donna 

Eden because they were both at a conference that I went to and I was, so, I had never heard of her before. But 

yeah, so similar. And Dr. Sue, I think can see

energy as well.

Sara Webb: Well, she could, at least when she came back from her, like I guess she went to the other side for a little while when she was in a meditative state in Iowa.

Kara Goodwin: Uhhuh

Sara Webb: I'm trained with her

Kara Goodwin: Oh, okay.

Sara Webb: certification. I'm certified as a coach for energy codes, and so that's how I started my coaching journey several years ago.

And I'm interested in the body wake. I need, just need to just make some space for it. But she does a lot of meditations that involve. connecting the energy centers.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: of course we know that each energy center is inextricably located next to a gland that's part of the endocrine system, and

Kara Goodwin: Yes. 

Sara Webb: [00:19:00] our hormones are controlled by the endocrine system.

And so, yeah, just making sure that everything is balanced, but I love this. Celtic Weave. I think somebody recently mentioned her to me. I'm gonna have to check that 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. you,

might be getting the

Sara Webb: Yeah, exactly.

Kara Goodwin: like Yeah. Well, it's interesting too with you talking about the chanting and the toning because I have not really studied chants in particular, but I just lately have in the last few months have been inwardly like, I just need to tone. I just need, and so I'll be like, even outside of meditation, if I'm by myself or, there are times where I feel that I need to work with an energy with a soul and I'll be kind of building with my, with tones

just through my voice, building an energetic. Structure,

you know, in the EERs. and it just does it feel, there's just so much [00:20:00] that

happens through the voice, through the chanting, what it does with the vibrations within us, within

the space around us.

It's really, really powerful and,

Sara Webb: absolutely. I have been teaching a certain workshop here locally, 'cause chanting doesn't really translate. . Online necessarily. It's really about the vibrations on the people who are there. So I taught one on Sunday, and I'm doing one in a few weeks. I was meditating and doing some chanting one morning several months ago, and something told me to do the Beja mantras for a couple of the chakras.

So I did, and then I . started chanting up the chakras with the Beja mantras and you know, the seed sounds like La Ra. Okay. So then two days later I was having a dream in the morning and I could see clearly, like it was a, the name of it was like [00:21:00] cascading. Chakra's mantra something, and I could see it was like a waterfall cascading up and down the body and how to implement.

What I had developed during my meditative waking state was completed in the dream to do it 108 times and to use amala, and I tried it in a . I tried it on a smaller scale in a chanting class that I taught that week, and then now I've been doing two hour workshops and people are blown away. Like they're either, they've been doing chanting and they're blown away by how powerful it is and how you, you're just in such a state of such a beautiful state afterwards, or they've never even tried chanting before and they're coming to this workshop for the very first time and experiencing, we experience.

That actual energy center and repeat it and things come up, it's amazing. 'cause we know that our traumas, whether they're Big [00:22:00] T, little T, or even exciting things, these things live in energetic spaces in our bodies. They're like vibrationally locked. It's an anchor, they call it in an LP in NLP and neurolinguistic programming.

So anyway,

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. So you're like unlocking

that and releasing and that's beautiful. 

Wow. 

Sara Webb: Yeah. This is how we heal trauma, is we use our sensations. And so I've developed my own sensation meditation formula, and so that's coming down the pipeline. Soon I'll be releasing that, as an app and a website that I'm developing. 'cause we can heal ourselves of trauma just by using and.

that's what Paton Deli talks about. Like we're using our sensations in meditation to lose track of our sensations and go into that sensation list state where we feel like we're floating and we're just really existing. We're just [00:23:00] being, and isn't that what it's all about? We are human beings, not human doings.

I know you've heard that.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah.

Yeah. That was one of, on my first website, 

the homepage was like, be a human being, not always a human doing. 

Yeah. 

Sara Webb: Right, exactly.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. So how does this work translate into your high functioning, people with anxiety, especially like executives? Because, I don't know, can you use the same sort of

language that, that we're using here?

Or is it similar kind of modalities or is there a different kind of toolbox for that subset?

Sara Webb: I think the answer is yes, and yes and yes. We . Obviously focus on transformation. We focus on productivity, being able to perceive time in a different way. 'cause so often when we have high functioning anxiety, we feel the pressure. [00:24:00] And a lot of times that serves us for a long time, but eventually it might get to us.

So studies show that people who meditate are up to 120% more productive and . I rely a lot on what does the science, the modern science tell us? How does it corroborate what the ancients already knew? When we look at the studies that, for example, leaders who meditate are more effective, they're better communicators, they are better at introspection and introception and

Employees who feel like their leaders care about them enough to invest in them. With wellness programs like meditation, which anyone can do, there's no contraindications like having a bad knee or, it's not like having a personal trainer that's hired for your [00:25:00] business, but, it reduces absenteeism when we implement

meditation into workspaces. It reduces recidivism. It basically across the board, improves the bottom line by about 500% 

Kara Goodwin: Wow. 

Sara Webb: you factor everything in. So I'm focusing on the change makers, and

yes, focusing more on productivity and it's a lot about mindset because outta the 70,000 to 90,000 thoughts that we have every single day.

95% of them are the same as the day before, and about 80% of them are negative. So when we develop our metacognition, our ability to think about our thinking, that space in between what we would normally react and do, and our choice to respond. That makes us more effective in every aspect of our lives, in [00:26:00] our relationships, because we're changing our relationship with ourselves.

And so that has ripple effects into our relationships overall. So yeah, it's really the same thing now when I work directly with CXOs and entrepreneurs and business owners. It's a custom tailored program.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: get exactly what they need for where they're at. If they come to me and they, for example, I'm working with somebody right now and he already knows a lot about the way the body processes stress, what happens when we go into fight or flight, how we start breathing from the chest, and how that can cause lower back pain because we're overloading this area and not belly breathing.

And so he's already like actively working on . Using the belly throughout the day. So I get to go a lot deeper with somebody like that and actually give, especially if they don't have any counter indications to holding the breath, which is really incredibly powerful. [00:27:00] If they don't have any heart disease or high blood pressure, then we can go into some of them.

more advanced techniques that I'm familiar with. 'cause I'm sure you know the power of pranayama and carbon dioxide, tolerance when we hold our breath.

Kara Goodwin: Right. Do you wanna talk a little bit about that? it's 

fascinating.

what the, what happens with

breath work, and I think that people can't hear it enough. not only just how to breathe effectively, but pranayama in particular,

 and dedicating, having a dedicated breath work practice.

Sara Webb: Yeah. I mean we're all doing some sort of a breath work 

Kara Goodwin: Right. 

Sara Webb: at certain times and I think that breath work sounds a little daunting to some people. Ugh, I've gotta do work. And it is a. It's a little bit taxing, but there are super therapeutic, very calming breath work activities. You don't have to do the Wim Hof where you're putting yourself into a crazy, you're getting yourself high.

[00:28:00] That's what he says, right? Get high off your own supply.

Kara Goodwin: That's funny because I use Wim Hof in, in one. Some of my meditation, meditations that I lead in this week, I said to the group, because somebody was like, so stressed and she just received bad news right before she came, and she's I really need this, but I'm, I really am like I'm just on edge right now.

And so I was like, okay, what do you guys wanna do? Do you wanna do Wim Hof? Do you wanna do something a little bit less intense? And they were like, we need less intense today, it's yeah. 'cause it does it, it is so cleansing, but it is triggering also. So it's great to be in touch and know what is it that we need right now.

Sara Webb: Yeah, absolutely. I was gonna say, that would surprise me if that would've been helpful for her. I would think that she would need to like lengthen the exhale. Maybe some level of breath holding, but it's during those breath holding times when we . are really getting [00:29:00] deep into the subconscious and we can rewrite some of our programming.

Dr. Sue Morder in the energy codes uses, empower step, which you get into. It's like a Warrior one, warrior two. It's a warrior of sorts, and you do her central channel breath. And when you hold the breath at the top and hold the breath at the bottom, you repeat to yourself your . Phrase that you want to insert there.

'cause we're getting into that fight or flight state when we're depriving ourself of oxygen or depriving ourself of releasing the carbon dioxide. And yeah, I read that book by James Nestor Breath.

Kara Goodwin: Oh, is it? Breathe? Oh, breath. 

Sara Webb: way, breath or breathe. I'm not sure which one it is. Anyway, I read it twice and I loved learning about the fact that when we hold our breath and we increase our ability to tolerate carbon dioxide, it actually helps us to be able to absorb more oxygen.

So it doesn't change the [00:30:00] amount of oxygen that's coming into our bodies, but it's something about the way that the hemoglobin acts in the blood and is able to decouple the oxygen that we take in and make more available. To us

Kara Goodwin: Hmm. Wow.

Sara Webb: and also just breathing through your nose. I have a client who just graduated yesterday and she didn't even realize how much she was breathing through her mouth and she's, perimenopausal and feeling some of that fatigue and just switching to breathing through the nose like he says in that book.

Mouth breathing begets more mouth breathing and nose breathing, begets more nose breathing. And so when we can just be more aware and implement more nasal breathing at all times in the day, we're gonna have more energy and breath. Work can give us energy too. breath of fire, even just.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah.

Sara Webb: being able to change our energy.

Maybe we're feeling super energized and we're laying in bed [00:31:00] trying to sleep for the second hour in a row.

I have very specific breath work that I've developed that I give to my clients so that they can relax.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: Yeah, absolutely. Breath work is so powerful. I love it. and it's trifold, right? It's recognition.

Being aware.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-Hmm.

Sara Webb: Then controlling and then the holding. So we don't just go to the holding, but it starts with that awareness.

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for taking us through that. Like I said, I think we all just need that to remember even, to remember to hear it again. And it just, because like you say, we're always doing breath work even if we don't realize it. So it's yeah, tune in and how are we doing it and how can we use the breath to, to help us to not only Work with our nervous system, but it also can help us to access higher states of consciousness and more creativity and tap into, [00:32:00] make different neurological connections and so forth. So it's really powerful.

Sara Webb: Yeah, absolutely. Life force, right?

Kara Goodwin: Yes. Right, right. Well, this has been amazing. Thank you so much. tell us how people can find out more about you and connect with you.

Sara Webb: You can find me all over the internet. Sarah Webb says it's S-A-R-A-W-E-B-B-S-A-Y-S. I'm Sarah Webb says.com. And those are the socials that I use primarily are LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and so, yeah. 

Kara Goodwin: beautiful. 

Sara Webb: I have a four month bespoke coaching. That's one-on-one right now. It will go to group just because of my time availability, but right now I'm taking on a few select more clients, at a one-on-one on a one-on-one basis.

And

Kara Goodwin: I have workshops that I lead. Perfect. 

Sara Webb: Yeah. [00:33:00] Thank you.

Kara Goodwin: And then your book is Look Lush

and they can find that everywhere, I'm sure.

Sara Webb: That's the book. I am writing another book, but that's the book that's in print right now and I am writing another book of about sensation meditation and how it can heal trauma.

So yeah, definitely be on the lookout for that. It.

Kara Goodwin: Awesome. Thank you so much, Sarah.

It's been wonderful to connect with you.

Sara Webb: Same here. Many blessings.

Kara Goodwin: You too.

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