The Sports Porch is LIVE --- Let's Go Bucs!

The Pirate: Pirate from I can't stand it anymore. That was the worst. That was the absolute worst introduction of a show. I've ever heard in my life. Absolutely horrible. You guys are horrible. You're going to walk the plank. Let's go mateys. This is the buckos report on the sports sports podcast. The first one of the year and the buckos six and Oh, the pirates five and Oh, five and Oh, thank you very much. Soon to be six. And you may not be able to get the record. I may not be able to get the record right, but I can intro the show.

Marc: You sure can. I like your jewelry hanging from your hair.

The Pirate: There it is. 6-0. Pirates are perfect. Pirates are perfect. What do you guys think? You guys think they're good? No, I don't. I happen to think they're really, really good.

Steve: I do like that Jared Jones guy.

The Pirate: Yes, Jared Jones. The Pirates won their fifth in a row this season.

Marc: A comment from Amy May. Chris has lost it.

The Pirate: Yes. Who's Chris? Do you like my medallion? Who's Chris? This is the time. This is when we strike. This is when the cannonballs fly. This is when the Pirates take over the National League. This is when Jared Jones' chest hair wins the World Series. 6-0. Sorry, 5-0.

Marc: five and oh after okay that's enough i'm tired i can't do it anymore you were actually doing well i actually think that jared jones's hair just might win the world you actually were doing well and then you just and then you just got rid of it it was totally i know it was totally you didn't feel comfortable not being yourself no i don't like the hair the hair on there and the eye patch was getting to me but

Steve: Hey, you know, you got to try something.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to reenter the show. Thanks for watching the sports sports. Pittsburgh.

Steve: We're on Facebook. Crafton Jones.

Chris: Lola. Really? Really? Right. LinkedIn, YouTube X Fantasy Alpha is in the house. Thanks for being here, guys. Love it. Love it. Um, and we dropped the podcast right after the show on the iheart radio app apple podcast spotify or anywhere You get your freaking podcasts. And yes, we're going to lead off with bucko's talk This is my first bucko's talk of the year and wouldn't you know it? I just I just couldn't get around to it And then of course you feel like there's nothing to be excited about and they go five and oh to start the season They sweep the marlins in miami a couple comeback wins um You know I look It's early, all right? It's early, guys. It's really early. Is it early? Yeah, it's really early. And how many games are there? I don't think it's too early to get excited about 162. 162. But I do have to tell you, there's a huge bright spot right now in this lineup. And? And it's Jared Jones. It's Jared Jones.

Marc: Jared Jones. Absolutely. Tell the viewers about Jared Jones.

Chris: Jared Jones, rookie, comes up, makes the team. He throws over 100 miles an hour. Consistently. First game in the major leagues. Strikes out 10 in his debut. He looks like an ace. And it's one game, and he's young, but he is definitely, he's got velocity, he's got movement. He only has two pitches. Was he a first-round pick?

Steve: I believe he was a first round pick. I don't know. That's a good question. Why don't you say he's definitely one of their higher draft picks in the past three years.

Chris: Yeah. And tonight, you know what I do.

Marc: By the way, Paul Skeens had dominating performance in the minor league.

Chris: Yeah, he did. And he still needs to check some boxes. I'm tired. Here to the Paul Skeens talk to be honest with you because it's one of those things where Like look, let's just let's just pump the brakes on this guy. Let's see what this team can do. Let's give him a break Let's let him get some innings under his belt and maybe if they're gonna bring him up, you know What I worry about with guys like Paul Skeens 40. What do you is is 44th overall second rounder? So second round, okay What do you worry about? I worry about keeps you up at night. I worry about it. I worry about the fact that they, you know, they'll overuse this guy and depend on him too much. Like this is not a world series year. Okay. It's just not Paul skeins. Is it, are you really saying that?

Steve: Well, here's why I'm dreaming big. Here's why the last time the pirates won four games in a row on the road to open the season, they made it to the world series 1903. Yeah. Was it 1903? Yes. Honus Wagner. And they had Honus Wagner. It was a good year. It was, I remember. Actually, do you want to know the other stat about 1903? Sure. The first year of the World Series.

Marc: Oh, really? Okay. So 1902 backwards, we don't count it.

Steve: That's right. 1902, nobody counts anything. That's right.

Marc: Nothing before that. Right. Was Cobb then? Was Ty Cobb playing then? No.

Chris: Yes, he was. Yes, Ty Cobb was. But Babe Ruth was not. Yeah, he was not. Okay. And DG is in the house. What's up, DG? Good to see you again. Good or good evening gentlemen marks back in the saddle DG. You missed the whole Pirates fiasco Back and watch from the beginning of the show. It's an homage to you and it's horrible, but I enjoyed it I'm gonna bring it back again. Alright, so tonight Connor Joe batting leadoff again I like that. There's a little consistency because when the season started They had O'Neill Cruz. The rumor was O'Neill Cruz was gonna bat first and And I don't know how these rumors get started, but you know what my initial reaction was.

Steve: Oh yeah, you hated that. No, yeah, he's not a lean-off hitter.

Chris: He's a number three. maybe number five, but you know, they've had him in the six or the seven spot. And mainly it's because he doesn't hit left-handed pitching that well. And they're starting against five straight left-handers, you know, and I hate that game. I don't like it, but I do like the fact that Connor Joe has been leading off. So there's some consistency there tonight. Connor Joe was two for four with a run. Uh, Reynolds was two for five key. Brian Hayes, one for five with a run cut was two for four. uh, with an RBI Olivera. So for four Swinsky got in on one, I'm going to talk about him. Henry Davis, thank God they gave him the starting catching job. Let him keep the job. Let him play his way into it. We said that all last year. I know, I know. I think he's going to be great.

Steve: They had to only because the catcher they wanted to start got injured.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, that's the way it works. They have Cruz now batting seventh, which, you know, because of the left handed batter situation, I still don't like that. And they're winning games. Where's Kutch? Kutch was batting fifth. They had him batting clean up. That is dumb. I agree.

Steve: He should be the sixth batter.

Chris: Here's what I like. Michael Taylor in center field three for two with two runs. He's batting 471 through five games and Lika Williams have like a middle initial like it's like Michael B. Taylor.

Steve: Michael N. Taylor.

Marc: I don't know. Steven, do you think that Connor Joe is the best two first names player in all baseball? No. Who is? I don't know. And you don't know? No.

Chris: Is there a guy named Frank Ed? Connor Joe? That's the only one I know. But he's, he's, I think he's Korean. So is Connor really his first name? I mean, how many Koreans or Asian people do you know named Connor? Maybe he was adopted. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's possible.

Steve: I'm going with yes.

Chris: Oh, here you go. Here's CD, Tommy John. That's the best one of all time.

Steve: But he no longer plays. That's true. Disqualified. His elbow hurts.

Chris: Now, here's something I was talking about when we would briefly talk about the Buccos before the season started, was you have Gonzalez pitching a good solid five innings with four hits, one earned run, two walks, two strikeouts. You know, these are the guys that they picked up that I said have major league experience. Yeah. So Martine Perez won a World Series, was on the Rangers. This guy's got, you know, your number two and three starters aren't guys that are just getting their feet wet in the major leagues and haven't been able to prove anything yet. These guys are veterans that know how to pitch. They know how to keep you in games. And if they can keep you in games, I think our lineup is better than it was last year. But that's not to say that it's taken leaps and bounds above. It's better because Cruz is back and because you have Henry Davis in the lineup. And I think I think Sheltie has a little bit more leeway to develop a consistent lineup. And what I'm look, I don't like Connor Joe as a leadoff hitter. But if he settles in there, I mean, through five games, he's batting .348, small sample size. But if he settles in there and his on-base percentage is good, and his average is good, and he's getting on base, and you move Cruz up in that lineup, and your first five batters are Joe Reynolds, Cruz, Siewinski, Hayes, Davis, and then on down, I think you've got the makings of a lineup.

Steve: Correct me if I'm wrong. I heard this story before where the pirates come out, their hitting is great. Their pitching is great. Everything's great in the month of April. And then it, all falls apart.

Marc: Yes, we hear it every year. What did they start at last year? I think at one point.

Steve: 20 and 8. Correct me if I'm wrong. You do you, I do me.

Chris: No, but we can't hear you. That's the problem.

Marc: Okay, now we can hear you. Am I close enough to the mic now? Yes, perfect. So acting like a child, I apologize.

Chris: That's right. I was acting like a pirate earlier. So true. You get a little, aren't we all children at heart? Yes. Yes. Yes. Some of us not even at heart.

Steve: Yeah. Just outright.

Chris: So that's true. So back to the pirates.

Steve: Um, but I mean, this happens to the pirates every year. Why should this year be different? Um, like, It's not going to be, right? Like, there's no reason to get excited. Or should I just get excited now because the disappointment will come later?

Chris: Well, they improved to 5-0 for the first time since 1983. So, you know, we're setting more, you know, we're reaching more milestones. We've won five in a row. We're a game over Milwaukee. It was 3-0. St. Louis is 1-3. I mean, you know. I think there's a lot of good here. Ratty Tellez hit a home run to beat the Marlins.

Steve: The Marlins aren't expected to do anything, and neither are Washington Nationals, right?

Chris: This is very true.

Steve: So, I mean, we're playing against really crappy teams, but that's okay if we beat the crappy teams. That means we're not the crappiest. Right, we I say this every year because I at least want to not be at the very bottom It's bad enough. We're at the bottom of the payroll Status. Yes, maybe we can at least be somewhere in the middle when it comes to wins and who knows maybe if we're close enough Then we can bring up a real pitcher like schemes to throw in for one of these jabronis that you know You say are major league pitchers that are okay when we you really need somebody who can throw it a hundred pretty much all the time

Chris: Well, it's, it's less about throwing it a hundred and more about throwing at a hundred with movement and you know, on the pitch. And then your changeup is 92.

Steve: And that's, that's why I'm worried about Jared Jones because all he has is a fastball. He doesn't really have a curve ball. They say he has a slider, but he doesn't throw it very much. And he only threw like six curve balls in like 80 some pitches. So, I mean, that guy's going to have to work on another pitch if he's going to want to get better after people start seeing what he is. It's like basically when I was throwing die with my son this weekend. It's a game I've never done before. All the kids play it, right? Throwing die? Yeah, throwing die. Are you familiar with this? No. It's the new beer pong in college.

Chris: Does it involve dice? It does. And so they say that is die the plural now for dice?

Steve: No, die is you only throw one die at a time. But there are two people, so each throw a die. And the basis of a game is you throw it up, it hits off of a table, and it bounces off, you get a point. but you can actually throw it up and just like beer pong, you can get it into somebody's cup and then you get like three points, right? So I was playing for the first time and guess what I did? Boom, right in the cup. Okay.

Marc: Three points.

Steve: So it's just dumb luck. It's the same thing with this Jared Jones. Like he had a really good outing once. Can he do it time and time again?

Chris: Yeah, I think he can.

Steve: But I just find it hard that he'll be able to do it with just two pitches.

Chris: I mean, you have a point there. You do.

Steve: And that's that's the thing that I'm worried about. Like he's going to have to work on another pitch and he's going to have to do it in the season. Like a guy like that. I would rather see him like. Develop another pitch in the minors then come up if he still has the velocity later in the season, right? I get why they why they gave him a start because they needed a fifth starter Yeah, and they didn't want to bring up schemes. Well, he earned it and he earned it in the priest But I just look at his long-term value is mmm suspect

Chris: I think one of the other important things is two of the games against the Marlins, the Pirates were down by more than two runs and their bullpen was able to hold the game and their bats were able to come back and I think that Overall, my honest opinion on this is that they have a better lineup this year. Well, with O'Neal Cruz in there, definitely. Of course. And also, you know, what's his name? Taylor and Alika Williams. And Jared Triolo making the team. I love that guy. You know, I, their defenses should be pretty stellar. They're pitching my, my biggest concern on the pitching staff is actually Mitch Keller. And we talked about that last week, you know, because his velocity is down. So, um, I don't know, did he, he, last year he pitched like 190 innings and the most he had pitched previous to that was 150 and the year before that was a hundred. So he's jumping 50, 25% every year, you know, is his arm wearing out. And I don't want to say it is, but, but his velocity is down and he didn't pitch that well in the first game of the season. So, you know, we'll see there. Jared Jones, I think has the stuff and you know, he might be pitching on adrenaline. We'll have to see, you know, you said last week that he just needs to pitch the ball.

Steve: He just needs to throw it. Right. He needs to throw strikes.

Chris: And that's what he did.

Steve: And he struck out some guys. So, you know, it's better than going out there and throwing it and guys hitting it over

Chris: Well, right. And and I love DG's comment here. I'm waiting for Shelton's let's let's spin the wheel to see who our next leadoff batter will be. And that is the other concern. Yeah. The concern is that doesn't manage. Well, I don't know that it's it's funny, because in the first two games of the year, You know, one game went to, um, extra innings. And so they get the ghost runner and Shelton walks the guy to, to create a double play and his management, his moves, his chess moves at the end of the game created the situation. And then the players executed it properly. So I think he managed the first couple of games of the year really, really well. And that's the thing with Shelton. It's like, sometimes you can see what his strategy is and it makes complete sense. And then the next night, you look at the lineup and you go, why in the hell did you change the lineup? It worked last night. You hit 11 runs. You stole four bases. You know, the situational baseball was great. And now you're shuffling the lineup. So these guys don't know. One of the things I completely disagree with is that we play the first five games of the season against left handers. Very little Jack Swinsky. I think he started one game. And he made a pretty good defensive play in the field. Yeah. And then he also bobbled a ball as well. So, you know, I think he is the pirate right now. Take Cruz out of this because he's like been already been anointed the next superstar. And we don't even know if that's really going to happen. He only hit 30 home runs this year. But he's got he's definitely capable. Yeah. But you look at Siewinski, I think he's the guy with the biggest upside on the roster. You know what you've got in Reynolds, OK? He's going to be a 270 to 280 hitter. He's going to get hopefully 20 to 25 home run. It's going to get somewhere between 75 and maybe 95 RBIs. He needs more. He needs more, but you know what you're going to get. You don't really know what you're going to get with a lot of the other guys, other than Cruz, if he can put a whole season together. And Cewinski has a huge upside. Play the guy every day, and I promise you, he will learn how to hit curveballs. He will learn how to hit left-handed pitching. What have you got to lose? Okay. What have you, what have you, he got about half the normal at bats of an everyday starter last year and he hit 26 home runs. All right. Add another 20 home runs and they were over 500. I mean, it's literally, it comes down to one or two moves and that's what blows my mind. Like, what are you looking for Sheltie? What are you trying to micromanage? Set a lineup, go with it. Trust your, trust your pitching staff, trust your bullpen. Bednar got a save last night. I mean, you know, let's just do it. We're six and we're five. I keep saying six and oh, I have no idea why. We're five and oh. It's confidence. we're five and oh yeah right right we're going to be six and oh for sure and i you know i i say you got to take advantage of it if you start tinkering now you know which is why i actually said okay fine we're winning connor joe's hitting the ball fine just leave him in the lead-off spot i don't think he's a lead-off hitter but if he settles in there and he's comfortable leave him there leave him there so here's an important question sure

Steve: I love important questions, Steve. How many hot dogs do you think Rowdy has between innings? Four. You think? If it was me, I would. You think he's like down in 24 hot dogs in a game?

Chris: You mean, do I think he would eat 24 hot dogs during a game?

Steve: Yeah, let's say he had an unlimited amount of hot dogs he could eat. How many would he eat?

Chris: I think, first of all, I think he does have an unlimited amount of hot dogs that he can eat. Yeah. I'm sure they can eat as much as they want.

Steve: Um, I mean, he's not running around the bases, so I mean, it's not like he has to worry about like, you know, yeah, well, they're going to mop on second.

Chris: There's always how much does he want to eat and how much can he eat? Yeah, that's true.

Steve: Don't, don't, don't we all go through that struggle?

Chris: Every damn we do every day. day. Here you go. Dumb luck, Steve. Maybe it's God given talent. I think he's talking about the Jerry Jones thing.

Steve: No, no, the guy talent. Oh, no, no, David. I would say I would say if I went undefeated on the table, I would say yes. Oh, die. But I went one in three and I drank more beer than I should have.

Chris: But I was, I was, I was expecting Schwab to chime in on this game and say, so let me get this straight. You throw a die up in the air and anywhere it lands, you get a point.

Steve: That's not true, because if you catch it when it bounces off the table, then nobody gets a point.

Chris: Can anybody catch it?

Steve: Yeah. Anybody on the other side can catch. Oh, okay. So it has to go over the middle and then boom, these drinking games are way too complicated. It's basic. You throw it up is as high as you can. It bounces off the table. If the other team catches it, no points. Okay. If it bounces off the table and hits the ground, one point, one point.

Chris: Now I get it for the thrower.

Steve: Yeah. They're a complication.

Chris: I like the old style drinking games, which was open a beer, drink it.

Steve: Oh, you can just stand there and drink. Quarters. That's what we played. Nobody's going to stop you from drinking.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah.

Steve: Nobody's going to stop you from drinking. And actually, quarters could get difficult, actually.

Chris: Yeah. Well, remember what was that game with quarters where it was like fast quarters? Yeah. Yeah. Chase. They call it chase. Yeah. Yeah. CD says lots to be said for stability and support for young players. Exactly. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I say back office gains. I say that even in May, I mean, I was listening to the fan. They're like, you know, let them, they don't have, they don't play any divisional opponents. for real until May. So let's wait till May. They only play the Brewers in April.

Marc: Listen, why don't we just let Paul Skeens… Well look, Paul Skeens is going to be down until he earns that extra year protection. Right. That's what it's about.

Chris: Yeah.

Marc: And we've talked about that. So he'll be up when that expires. He'll be up in a month and a half or two months or something.

Chris: I agree. And I think that that might actually be May, I think, is when it is.

Marc: And, you know, I'm sure it'll be fine for him.

Chris: Yeah. Thanks, Mark. Thanks for that. Yeah, you're really, really, you do, you are sporting a beard this week. We did challenge you to grow the beard.

Steve: Yes, and I grew it. We'll get to that. I heard you were pretty angry about my comments about your facial hair.

Marc: Well, it just shocked me that, you know, I've had a goatee for like 25 years, yet you didn't seem to notice.

Steve: But it wasn't like a full goatee. It's always just kind of like, if you get the right kind of shave it down to the small.

Marc: Yeah, I do. I do a nice and nicely formed.

Steve: See, I don't really. I don't really see that as facial hair. I just.

Marc: OK, so it's laziness, not laziness. No, I got to groom it.

Chris: Laziness.

Marc: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Steve: No, all you have to do is get the electric razor out and just go like this when it gets too long and that's it. There's no effort there.

Marc: There is effort. I don't use a razor. I use scissors. Ooh, hand trim. Yes, hand trim.

Steve: Okay, I stand corrected. Hand trimming a goatee is work.

Chris: Yes. All right, guys, I want to thank everybody for watching the Sports Porch on Facebook, LinkedIn, X, YouTube, all over the world. And of course, we drop the podcast right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your freaking podcast, matey. And I want to thank everybody for watching. Please subscribe and leave a review. Next, I want to ask Steve a question here. And I'm typing this in because, you know, I just wait until the last minute to do things. Here comes the question, people. I want to know if you think that Corderell Patterson will make a difference. Wait a minute, Amy May says it was a great goatee when I met him. Why was it a great goatee, Amy May? Sexy. Did it tickle your fancy?

Steve: It sure did tickle her fancy. It was sexy.

Chris: All right, will Cordarelle Patterson make a difference? The reason I ask this is because he's one of the great utility players.

Marc: Did you guys talk about this last week, the kickoff change?

Steve: No, because it happened after. It happened right after the kickoff. Yeah, we talked about the hip drop. It happened on Wednesday. We did talk about the hip drop.

Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Wait a minute. Update Women's Hoops, LSU 38, Iowa 34, about five minutes to a half. Thank you. We have that in the background.

Steve: Katelyn Clark's will surge in the second half.

Chris: So yeah, so quarter L Patterson.

Marc: Yeah, I think it's gonna make a difference because Really? I'll be surprised if there's III think there's gonna be a really low amount of touchbacks this year.

Steve: Yeah, I agree. You know, because nobody wants to start on the 30th. Yeah, other teams start on the 30th.

Marc: You don't want to give them ball on the 35th. So if you're not following at home, it's changed now. You don't get the ball at the 25 on a touchback. You get it at the 35. Right, right. And then what you have is between the goal line and the 20-yard line is called the landing zone. So you're basically encouraging the kickers to basically kick it within the 10-yard line, and then you gotta go down and make the tackle. Now the guys are lining up, instead of lining up at the opposing 35, they're now lining up at the, what is it, the 45 of the other half of the field?

Steve: It's the 40. The 40-yard line and the 30-yard line. Okay, the 40-yard line and the 30-yard line. They're only 10 yards apart.

Marc: Yeah, so there's, you know, and that's obviously to prevent, you know, high impact speed collisions. Right. So I think you're going to have a lot of returns. And so going out and getting a returner, an elite returner is a good move.

Chris: And that's something the Steelers haven't had for a while.

Marc: They've had guys who have the ability to break one, but just not really consistently.

Chris: And the thing about Patterson is that he's also a great guy to bring in in special packages in the offense. He can play receiver, he can run the ball. He's the Swiss Army.

Steve: Army knife. Yeah, that's exactly. He's a, he's a great third down back. They don't really have right now. So, so they can bring him in and he can still run in that, in that, in the third down too. So I, I, I, that's why I like it. I don't like it just, just for the fact that they need somebody to return now because I think Calvin Austin, the third probably could have done okay, but I'd like having a veteran guy back there because it's going to be new for everybody. So you can take advantage of it right away. And I don't know what their special teams blocking schemes are going to be regarding this.

The Pirate: Right.

Steve: If they're going to go to one side or they're just going to let quarter round find us, find a seam and say, go for it. I have no idea, but it's going to be different for sure. But it's going to, the weird thing is, is the kicker is going to be standing all, all, all right. You know, that's, that's going to be the weird spot. And it's really going to be interesting to see what the kickers do. Are they going to try and kick it up high? But that doesn't really matter because nobody can move until it's caught. Yeah. So in some ways, it might be better to kick it on a line drive because if it if it hits in the 20 and it rolls into the rolls into the end zone, I think it's a different spot. It's a different spot that you get it in.

Marc: I don't think so. I think, I think if it goes through the end zone, it's still a touch.

Steve: No, no. But if it lands in the landing zone, but you don't catch it.

Marc: Oh, okay.

Steve: I think it's a different, I think it's a different spot. Like you don't get it at the 35. I think you can get it at like the 30 or something like that.

Chris: Here you go. Under the new rules, the kicking team's kicker will continue to kick from the 35 yard line, but rather than be flanked by his teammates, the rest of the kicking team will line up at their opponent's 40 yard line. eliminated the traditional running start. I'm looking for the… I don't want to pay $30 a month for this. This week's annual meeting, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Eliminating the traditional running start. The returning team will field up to two returners in the backfield, and the rest of the team will line up in a new setup zone between the 30 and 35 yard line. Besides the kicker and returners, no players from either side will be allowed to move until a returner touches the ball or the ball hits the ground.

Marc: Fair catches. So far, everything you've said, we've said.

Steve: You can't fair catch it. They're illegal now. We know that. We just don't know what happens if it lands in the landing zone and they don't catch it.

Chris: Yeah, here you go. When a kicker boots the ball into the end zone, the opposing team's returner can choose to kneel rather than attempt to return. The result is called a touchback at the 25-yard line. Under the new rule, touchbacks will now be placed at the 30. A touchback occurs automatically if the ball sails out of the back of the end zone entirely. So if they kick it all the way out, you just get to the 30 yard line. Um, that's about all they're saying here.

Steve: So it's the 30, not the 30. Yeah. But still, I still think they're going to, they're going to be a lot of returns. Yeah, I agree. Cause if you can field it at the 20, you figure you can get past the 30.

Chris: Well, and you basically have a line up there that's not running right at you at full speed.

Marc: The idea should be to kick it within the five-yard line. That's what you want your guys to do.

Chris: Exactly. Because then they have to return it.

Marc: Right. They have to return it, and hopefully you can get them before the 25.

Chris: Yeah. But what makes it exciting is that you can't move until he catches it, as opposed to, so now you've got blockers that are lined up in front of you. So yeah, it's going to be more exciting.

Marc: And you know what there's going to be? There's going to be a bunch of offside penalties on it. You think so? Yeah, because you're going to get an offside if somebody leaves before it was caught.

Steve: Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, that's right. And you have to declare if you want to do an onside kick.

Chris: Right. Do we need anything more to confuse these referees? I mean, seriously. I mean, the last couple of years with all the rule changes, there were many times where I felt like the referees were standing around after a call going, I don't know, you tell me what the rule is. No, you get out the rule. You know and then it's like they make this and then the announcers are like well, that was the wrong call So, I mean, I like I like the move. Yeah, wait a minute. You have to request a traditional onside kick. Yeah Well, you can still do the traditional kick if you want no no traditional on side on so oh you have to request Because you can't have an onside kick in this form.

Steve: I still right pirate it right. I'm sorry.

Marc: That's I personally I personally liked the I'm sure they only wanted to handle one thing at a time, but I like the doing away with the onside kick and having the, like either the fourth and 15 or 20.

Steve: Yeah. The fourth and 20 at the 40. So if you get it, then you keep the ball. If you don't, then the other team gets it.

Chris: Yeah. That's a more exciting play. Yeah. Definitely a more exciting play.

Steve: And you're putting your best players out there to make it right. Some damn kicker with luck, the way it bounces.

Chris: York PA is in the house. Jeff, what's up? If it's really windy and the kicker needs someone to hold the ball on the tee, that could be an advantage for the returning team, too.

Steve: Well, maybe they'll allow them to have a specialty that will hold it for them. Because you know they have those little things.

Marc: That actually is an interesting point. I don't know if that's been addressed. They'll probably just allow one person to be back there, I guess.

Chris: I don't know that is what do you mean if if if the kicker if the guy's got to hold it they're only going to allow them to have one returner so that they can cover they can.

Marc: No I mean I think instead of that guy one guy is not going to line up at the 40 is going to be back with the kicker.

Steve: It's just another reason why every team should have a dome right.

Chris: Okay. I'm still, okay. All right. Uh, should have left it alone in my opinion. Oh, come on. Yeah.

Steve: That's a Jeff says you're just an old footy.

Chris: Well, we kind of talked about, did we talk about this last week where I said it seems like every year now the NFL is switching rules like, like crazy and they want to stay relevant. Of course they do. But I think they're relevant already.

Steve: No, they want to stay relevant. You don't stay relevant by staying the same. Right. You just get old and stodgy. Right.

Chris: Thank you very much.

Marc: But some things work out better than others. You know, the whole not allowing everybody to be on one side made the, you know, getting an on-site kick almost impossible.

Steve: And the game was more fun when there were kickoff returns for touchdowns.

Chris: That's true.

Steve: Even it only happened like six times a year.

Chris: Yeah, yeah. D.G. says the person who holds leaves immediately once kicked. OK, well, thank you. I mean, you also like, you know, Jeff says he's he's old and stodgy.

Marc: Yeah, so you could have all you could have also, like, accomplished the same thing just by, like, leaving everything the same and just moving the ball back like 10 yards.

Chris: Yep. Rayanne says hello, everyone. Born 40 miles north of Pittsburgh. What's going on? Well, hey, Rayanne, Rayanne, well, you made it to the poor. You can watch and figure it out.

Steve: How was that?

Marc: We were all bad. We were actually all bad.

Chris: Yeah, all bad. I failed completely.

Marc: But thanks for joining, Ryan. Yeah, we're super glad you're here.

Steve: Ryan, whenever you come in, that's what we're going to do.

Chris: That's right. Okay. Uh, I want to remind you, if you haven't figured it out and if Rayanne hasn't figured it out, you're watching the sports sports Pittsburgh on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube X. and somewhere else. Not Insta. What is going on with the Instagram? There is an API issue with their connection to StreamYard and there's nothing I can do about it. Come on, StreamYard.

Steve: There's nothing I can do about it. I know. StreamYard is going to get it together. I have confidence in them.

Chris: OK, thank you very much. It's a good platform. All right. I have confidence in them, too. And we're going to drop the podcast right after the show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere you get your friggin' podcasts.

Marc: All righty. Is it that time? Is it time to bring in the Holy Spirit? Amen.

Chris: Hockey Jesus. Hockey Jesus. We are proud. Peace be with you. To have Hockey Jesus, who preaches on the podcast after every single Penguins game. You can catch that on the Sports Sports Podcast. He's doing a great job. And of course, go to the YouTube channel. It's at the Sports Sports Podcast on YouTube. I'll drop a link in the comments shortly. After every single game, he gives you his analysis. And it's not going to end with the Penguin season.

Steve: Oh, no.

Chris: If the Penguin season ends, Jeff. OK. All right. I'll sing you happy birthday soon, Jeff. We'll do that. No, I don't want to be there. The one thing I have to do, I have to say is last week you you told me you were going to shave that beard. Well, and there's been a change. I know of heart. I know. Now you're thinking the pens have a shot.

Steve: Well, I've changed my thinking on the beard. The beard is not actually going to be shaved until they are officially eliminated from the playoff.

Chris: What about you, Schwaber? Are you going playoff beard for the Flyers?

Marc: No, I actually have to look presentable for work.

Chris: Okay. What are you talking about? You work out of your house.

Marc: I visit clients at their places of work.

Steve: You fool. Mark, you can look presentable with a beard.

Chris: Just keep the hand trimming. It actually grows in a little fuller than I thought.

Steve: I thought it would be patchy. Oh no, he could grow a full beard.

Marc: I'd like to see that. I can grow a full beard. I'd like to see that. I'll consider it if the team that I root for. The Flyers.

Steve: It's okay to mention the Flyers.

Marc: If they make the playoffs, I'll consider a playoff beard. Okay. Because I probably won't have to wear it for more than a week.

Chris: All right, Rayanne, go Penguins, go Steelers, DG, good call for the beard, Papa Smurf. So yeah, why are you having such a change of heart? Because two weeks ago you were like, they're out of it.

Steve: They are out of it, but they're not officially out of it. You know what I mean? There's a difference between there's no way in hell they're going to win four more games than the teams above them, like the Flyers or the Capitals. because that's what they would need to do in order to make the playoffs. And that's just not going to happen with nine games left. And I know they're winning tonight. They're beating the Rangers 2-0 and look pretty good in the first period, to be honest with you. And they got a break because they actually, uh, checked the second goal out and, uh, it was, it was on side. It was really close by the way that skate blade was like barely over, uh, uh, the blue line anyway. So even if they do win tonight, dude, they have to win four more games out of seven games. They would essentially have to win all seven games. And I just don't see that happening from the penguins. Now beating the Rangers in New York would be good, but they, have to beat the devils on the road, then they have to go beat the capitals on the road. That actually would be a huge game if they got to that point. And let's face it, they've wasted so many opportunities like this past week. They had Columbus down 3-1 in the third period and losing that 4-3. They get a loser point out of that game. It was the same thing that happened in Colorado, the same thing that happened in Vegas earlier in the season, where they had this great lead in the third period and they just blow it. And that's the problem with the Penguins. The other teams are actually letting them in. The Flyers have lost four in a row. They're winning tonight, by the way. And the Devils are just as bad. The only team that surged, which is where the Penguins should be, are the freaking Capitals. And you know why? Because last year they decided to go with the youth movement. And actually, I think some of the new youth that's come up, Pustanen, Jack St. Ivany, and Ludwig, who's played on and off, I love these guys. I think they're going to be great, and I just hope that they give them the chance that they gave Drew O'Connor this year. Drew O'Connor has 10 or 11 goals. Now he's on the first line. Thanks. You know, the Gensel getting traded. Bunnings not playing tonight because he got ill. And honestly, they've been playing Ned lately and he's much better, more. well-rounded goalie than Jari is. And I think if there was any value of goalies in the trade deadline this year, I think Jari would have been gone. I don't, I think they've lost, I think they've lost all faith in Jari. And I, I have personally, I think that Ned's a much better goalie for them.

Chris: Okay.

Steve: And and I you know, he probably shouldn't be playing tonight because this is his fifth game in a row first time ever He's gonna get tired So yeah, they're gonna need Jari to come in and steal some games, but I'm not confident that he can do it Look Jari at the end of the season every year just plays like crap. He's a great regular season goalie in this year He's not been that great it minus, you know, when was the last time you heard he had a shutout? Remember he used to lead the league in the shutouts. Yeah, he hasn't had one in like a

Chris: six weeks. What about DG's comment here? I saw something about Jake discussing his trade, possibly burning bridges. What's that about?

Steve: Have you heard anything? I honestly, I think Jake was disappointed that the penguins didn't, didn't give him what he wanted. And really I think that's what it's about. Gotcha. And I think they, I think he wanted more than the penguins could afford.

Chris: It doesn't, it doesn't mean they won't give him what he wants next year if he wants to come back.

Steve: No, I think, I think he's gone. I really do think he's gone. That doesn't mean guaranteed. I mean, you know, you have to be able to move a guy like Raquel if you're going to, if you're going to, if you're going to bring back Jake, you've got to move a four or $6 million contract and they still have to sign Patterson next year. And they probably should, even though I do like St. Ivan and Ludwig playing together, I think they should play together all next year. POJ showed some pretty good, Yeah, it's had a pretty good year. You know, I was hard on him last year. You were Cut him but this year he's really he's got more physical his offense still isn't good enough But I think they can work on that.

Chris: What about Mike here does cross?

Steve: We have a chance to beat Gretzky's point record or whatever I don't know what the whatever part so so he needed six points coming into the night to get the 82 points 82 points would give him a point per game and That actually what he would tie he would tie Gretzky's point record at that point

Chris: I did not realize he was having that good of a season. Doesn't that sound low?

Marc: Well, I mean, it's not really. I mean, anybody who scores a point a game is, is, you know, an all-star caliber.

Chris: Yeah. No, I'm just saying, like, I did not, I would have thought So what you're saying is, and you just have to bear with me here because I'm still a hockey novice when it comes to this stuff. Rangers got a power play goal. They're talking about an average of a point per game or an actual point per game.

Steve: No, an actual point per game or more.

Chris: A point is a goal or an assist. I know that, but so really Gretzky, what's Gretzky's record? 82 points?

Marc: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He's saying consecutive consecutive seasons of being at a point per game.

Chris: Oh, I think that makes more sense to me.

Steve: I get it. I free. I apologize. I should know that I should know it, but I think it's 14 seasons.

Chris: Okay. 14 seasons or something in a row where he's average the point per game.

Steve: I get it. Next year he could break the record.

Chris: Explain if Carolina wins the cup. What happens due to Carlson trade? That's what DG wants to know.

Steve: Oh, if, if Carolina actually makes the final, no, that's the Jake trade. I think some things conflated, um, with the Carolina, if they make it to the finals, then the Jake pick goes to a number one pick. Um, but the Carlson trade is interesting because they've got to give up a first round pick to San Jose. But if, if they end up in the top 10 slots, they can not give them their number one pick. and keep it if they want to, or which means that next year San Jose will get their number one pick no matter what. All right.

Chris: Well, that sounds a little convoluted to me.

Steve: Well, it is, but basically they said, look, if we suck so bad with Carlson, we don't want to give you our top 10 pick. Right. Gotcha. We, we reserved the right to keep that pick and then you'll get our 2025 pick instead.

Chris: Oh, understood. All right.

Steve: Yeah. So there, there are two things kind of going on there, David. One is, one is the Gensel, um, one is the Gensel trade and the other one is the Carlson trade.

Chris: Um, DG's just so focused on the attractiveness of your beard that he can't think straight right now. Don't you think he looks good with a beard?

Steve: That happens to a lot of women. Seriously. DG's a woman? And men.

Chris: I said and men. I just wanted to get the women out there. Look, Sassy's trying to eat my pirate's costume.

Steve: I think she wants to wear it.

Chris: I think maybe that's the thing. Oh, we could have some fun with that, too.

Steve: Oh, by the way, the Ranger's goal was waived off. Goalie interference.

Chris: Let's go, Pens.

Steve: Let's go, Pens. That's what the Rangers have to do.

Chris: They have to cheat to get goalie interference. You've been very quiet this show, Schwaber. For being on vacation for a week and we made fun of you the whole time, You know, I'm interested in what your thoughts are on the state of Pittsburgh sports in general. Line it up for me. Tell me what you think the rest of this year is going to bear out. Give me the Steelers, the Pirates, and the Pens in three sentences. We're just trying to get you back into the show.

Marc: The Pirates will combust and be close, probably be around 95 losses. The Penguins It'll be an unfortunate ending two years not in the playoffs And the Steelers are the team that gives you hope there you go in a nutshell.

Chris: I think that's exactly right Yeah, I think I think I like the word combust

Steve: But I didn't say come back.

Chris: I think you said you said the pirates will come out. Did I? Yeah.

Steve: Okay. I think the interesting thing with the penguins will be where will they end up? Will they end up with a top 10 pick? My guess is they'll probably end up at like 10 or 11. So then you give up that pick and just give it to San Jose this year. You probably do if it's an 11 or 12 pick.

Marc: Probably. Yeah. I mean, I think so.

Steve: You just get it out of the way. I guess you don't figure next year you're going to get better. I mean, Gino's not suddenly going to get faster or shoot the puck better. You know, he's just going to get worse and he's always going to be on that second line. I mean, by the way, that's the big problem with the Penguins. You know, I, I, you know, you can talk about LeTang's meltdown in Columbus and it was awful. He's, he's had- Yeah, you talked about that on the podcast.

Marc: I'll tell you what though, I mean, I've, I've always had a lot of respect for him as a great player and he's, he's had several meltdowns this year. I mean, he's like giving the puck away late in the third constantly.

Steve: Everybody forgets because the new squeaky toy is just to yell at Carlson because he's the new guy. Letang does this every year. People used to, that's why they didn't want to sign him. Ah, he makes too many mistakes, you know, but at least he makes up for it with some flashy play. And he usually does. He usually does make up for it. But those those two plays and honestly, it's the power play. The power play is absolutely cursed. And the shorthanded goals, they just they can't get out of their own head. At some point, they're going to have to just get some cold water, just pour it over themselves and start fresh.

Chris: So, so what I think is great is, is Hockey Jesus, you nailed it from day one of the season. You've talked about the power play since before the season started.

Steve: I knew it would be the make or break.

Chris: You talked about Carlson coming in on the power play and if he could add to it, it would be the difference. And he didn't. And look where they are.

Steve: And I thought, I thought by now they'd get it together because I didn't really think in the first half of the season they would get it together. No, you're right. I figured by the second half of the season they would have some kind of chemistry, but there's just nothing there. So then, you know, you have to think, okay, in the off season, do you want to let him go? But then that means you got to suck up probably $2.5 million of his, uh, of his, uh, contract to be able to somebody to, to be able to afford it.

Chris: I think I think uh, you don't want to do that We thought last year was going to be one of the most interesting years in in penguins offseason History in a while because they were obviously hex stall was gone They brought it was they brought in dubious But I think this year is going to be one of not not only the most interesting but one of the most pivotal Because you've you've got a you've got aging stars and Crosby I mean god bless him man to be on pace to possibly break tire break Gretzky's consecutive points record streak Still playing at a high level like that sure, but then you have letang Malkin to me is he's an old bus with and he's missing a tire You know, I mean he's missing two tires, right? So the other two are bald How are you going to replace that? He's got a no trade clause. Will he retire, which you're almost positive he won't. He's not ready to. Would he waive a no trade clause to maybe go to a team that's in better shape? Who knows? I mean, there's just so many things that could happen now in the offseason with the Penguins, and this team could look completely different. Sands, Crosby, and Letang next year.

Steve: I'm kind of hoping they just kind of just keep things the same, honestly. Just bring up youth next year.

Chris: Yeah, I know. You've been singing that song on, on hockey Jesus for weeks.

Steve: I think this team has had so much change. And I told you, I still believe this, that COVID killed these penguins. I think since COVID this change, I looked at the, I listed the names of players that have come and gone since then. I stopped writing at 25 names.

Chris: That's just too much turnover. Well, Rutherford quit in the middle of the season.

Steve: They gotta pick a lane and stay in it. Like, if Carlson's the guy to say, we're gonna make this work, and if that means a coaching change or bringing in somebody who's a specialist that Carlson likes, that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna make the power play work. And I think if they can do that in the offseason, they can get back because they have to bring in some youth. That's what worked with Washington. That's why they're in a playoff position now. They've got more energy and they're probably going to make the playoffs. By the way, they'll probably lose in the first round, but they'll at least make the playoffs.

Chris: So next Hockey Jesus, are we going to get one tonight? You'll get one tonight. I can't wait. So, hey, you can look forward to a Hockey Jesus podcast after the Penguins game tonight after the Sports Porch podcast. I'm going to encourage you to go to YouTube to watch that. And let me pull up. I'm going to pull up.

Marc: Can we get a happy Easter from Jesus? Oh, yeah.

Steve: I gave you a big happy Easter. I even waited until Sunday to do my podcast.

Marc: He is risen.

Steve: because I had to arrive. You couldn't do it from the grave.

Chris: I know. I listened to it and I was laughing.

Steve: Now that I'm arisen, it's a whole new season.

Chris: Good Lord. So blasphemous. So blasphemous.

Steve: Oh, come on. It's all in good fun.

Chris: All right, so you can look forward to the next Hockey Jesus podcast after the game this evening. It'll be a secondary thing and I'm actually going to drop the link to the Sports Porch podcast on YouTube in the comments right here right now. I want you guys just to hang on a second because I am the the, uh, technical director, but there it is. Subscribe to, uh, the sports porch on YouTube, leave comments, enjoy the hockey. Jesus, uh, ran says, I got to go guys. Nice seeing you. I'll stop back again. Great job. It's always, is it always Pittsburgh sports teams? Mostly? Yes. I love the Steelers, especially when they won all those super bowls back in the day. Great parties. Hmm. Sounds like she wins.

Steve: Oh, Hey, well, Roseanne, Roseanne.

Marc: Come back and tell us one of the stories.

Chris: Tell us a story, Roseanne. The real question, DG says, is will we hear the theme song intro with the Hockey Jesus? You know, what's going on with the music?

Steve: I don't know what's going on with the music. I can't figure it out. Well, can you hear it? I can hear it. Do you have it down really low? It's at 20. I'll tell you what, David, tonight I'm going to crank it up to 40.

Chris: Yeah, and just give it time. Yeah, don't start talking until later and then bring it down. I think we got some new theme music, though, coming. Is that right? I think you're right. I think we do. It's time for our next segment.

Marc: And it is? It is. I'm waiting for the music.

Chris: What's the name of the next segment? Well, the name of the next segment is the Trader Joe's Product of the Week.

SPEAKER_04: the biscuit. Taste the honey sauce. Taste the goodness of the biscuit with the honey sauce. Don't get that honey sauce on me. I don't like the way it tastes with my chicken wings.

Steve: Wow. Yeah, we're having fun now. There you go.

Chris: All right, guys. Listen, now I have to, I have to admit, we came up with this right before the show started. Mark showed us this video and I said, that's it. That's the intro. You guys know I work at Trader Joe's in East Liberty in Pittsburgh. It's a fantastic place to work. I love it there. It's also a great store, just a great vibe. Love the food, love the people. I do have to say Trader Joe's is not in any way endorsing this or sponsoring this. But I did get the okay from them to talk about their products that I love. And the way we're gonna do it is we're gonna have a little fun. Y'all know they have a lot of regular stuff. Like you can buy eggs there, you can buy cheese there. out sure, but they also have some stuff you can't get anywhere else and they scour the world for this stuff. And I find it fascinating. So I asked the guy Brenton who works at the store, I asked him, tell me what, tell me what a good, a good product for this segment would be. And he said, Oh, I got the product for you right now. OK, all right, here we go. This is what he gave me. Manly food. He gave me this is and you can read it down in the ticker. Trader Joe's trail mix crackers with mung beans, mung beans, seeds, cashews, raisins and cheese. And of course, what are mung beans?

Steve: I knew that was coming. Who? creed on the office. Really?

Chris: That's… Can you tell me what a mung bean is? I'm going to right now. Mung beans are small green beans that belong to the legume family. The legumes. They have a slightly sweet taste and are sold fresh as sprouts or as dried beans, and apparently in Trillium. I was thinking legumes. Mung beans are a type of pulse, which means they are an edible seed of the legume plant family. Legume. They are nutritionally balanced and contain vitamins, minerals, and beneficial enzymes, which for guys our age are good. Maybe that's probiotics.

Marc: What happens if you smoke mung bean?

Chris: I have no idea, but maybe we could try that too, which makes them an excellent part of a healthful diet. Mung beans are native to India and are widely cultivated in Asia for use in a variety of sweet and savory dishes. So here we go. I can't believe you don't already have it open.

Steve: Open it.

Marc: Let's go. I like the way you don't have it open, basking, giving us that freshness.

Chris: Well, let's do it. there you go but that was a horrible opening now now you got to put it in like a plastic zippy bag because you screwed i know i did i know um and dg says not to be confused with dung beans and i'm not even gonna ask i'm not ever eating where that comes from yes so but he does live in somewhere in Florida. Pass the cracker. All right, so we're going to all going to check now. Here's what here's what Brenton told me. He said, pass the douche. He got a friend of his addicted to these because it's one of those things where you're like, what? They put that in a cracker and you eat it. And I just want you guys to tell me what you think.

Steve: Wow. There's got a little sweetness to it. That's the raisins. He was right. It's pretty good actually. I think it's got some honey in it. It's pretty good. Yeah. And you know, I don't like things too sweet. So it's definitely not too sweet.

Chris: Yeah. I'm reading the ingredients to see if there's honey. I don't see any. Yeah. It happens to be kind of like a biscuit, but.

Steve: You know, actually you could, you could eat this with like a little bit of peanut butter or even, even some honey. You can even like dip it in.

Chris: It's funny. You should say that Steve, because I brought down a little bit of Trader Joe's creamy no stir peanut butter spread.

Steve: Nah, I'm not interested in Trader Joe's. You know, I like, I like the, um, oh man, this is really good. This is good. I'm another one. Not as good as this hockey game though. This hockey games.

Chris: I'll tell you what,

Steve: a

Chris: Is it Reese's or Reese's? Reese's.

Steve: Let's try it with some peanut butter. Let's ask the resident Hershey man himself, Mr. C.D.

Chris: Is it Reese's or Reese's? I'm going to eat this whole thing.

Steve: Amy said that's her favorite peanut butter. It is. We got a lot of that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you buy it by the case? No.

Chris: Sassy likes peanut butter. I'm going to let Sassy have this peanut butter here. Oh, yeah, for sure. That's a good biscuit. Yep. All right, let's give this a let's give it a grade.

Steve: Would you buy it, Mark? I would buy it. I would buy it, too.

Chris: Well, yeah, give it an A. Yeah, I'm going to have more of these. DG says, Are they better than last week's peanut butter pretzels? Mm hmm.

Steve: surprisingly good. Yeah. Yeah, I think they are. I think they're better than the pretzels. The one thing about the pretzels that these aren't, the pretzels got a little dry for me, but these are definitely not dry.

Chris: No, I don't think you can really compare them to the pretzels to be honest.

Steve: It's a different snack, but I would say of the two, I would buy these over the pretzels.

Marc: That's a damn good cracker.

Steve: It is. If I had to pick one, I would pick the cracker. over the peanut butter.

Chris: Yeah. So there you have it. There is our Trader Joe's product of the week. It's a good, healthy snack. It is a good, healthy snack. I'll tell you what, Brenton, that was a winner. He was right on. Is it healthy?

Steve: I think it's healthy. What are the stats? How many saturated fats?

Marc: How many crackers can I have? How many can you have for 170 calories?

Chris: Two and a half, two and a half grams and four crackers for 170 calories. That's a lot of calories. Two grams of fiber, which all three of us need desperately.

Steve: Four crackers for 170, that's a lot of calories.

Chris: Yeah, but I mean, you know, five grams of protein. uh, zero cholesterol, 95 milligrams, 4%, 4% for four crackers. Yeah. It's 1% of cracker.

Steve: I'm just a little worried about the calories. I think it's cause all the, all the, all the sesame seeds are really high.

Chris: They even have a little, they even have a little, diagram here that explains what everything is. Black sesame seeds, raisins, mung beans, cashew, white sesame.

Marc: I mean, look at that. If you work in a hospital, though, and you shouldn't eat this before a drug test. Yep. Yeah. Sesame seeds.

Chris: A lot of sesame seeds. Well, I probably shouldn't take a drug test, but you know, whatever. It's poppy seeds. It is poppy seeds. You're right. You're good. All right. I got one. I got one more thing. I got to do here. What's that? I'm sorry. Happy birthday to you.

Marc: Thank you. Happy birthday. Your birthday's over to you.

Chris: What does Jeff have to do with us? He asked me to sing happy birthday to him. Jeff Paul is I loved your Chirac. Oh, happy birthday.

Marc: to want to hear something that I thought was pathetic birthday wise besides that song when I was in Florida with my family here we go and we were at family stories we're at a restaurant the club The club with the buffet? Yeah, the club. Nice. They had a cake with my name on it. Very nice. So it said my name. Wait, did they spell it right? They did not spell it right. But instead of going, happy birthday, dear Mark, they went, happy birthday, happy birthday. You couldn't look at the freaking cake to figure out what my name was?

Chris: It's right in front of all of us. And this is a posh club in Delray Beach.

Steve: Did it have a sparkler on it?

Chris: It actually did not. Any candles? Did it have all 54 candles? There was one candle on it. That's it? That's all the breath they thought you could get out? It was pretty weak.

Marc: It was pretty weak. I mean, yeah, I just was not that impressed.

Chris: Did you blow it out right away or was it a trick candle? I blew that right away.

Marc: What kind of cake was it? It was an Oreo ice cream cake. Oh, well, how old are you? That sounds good. I don't know. Did you request that? No, they asked my wife what I liked and that's what she said.

Steve: Now we're getting to the bottom of things here. I think an Oreo ice cream cake is appropriate.

Chris: Hey, Amy, what kind of cake would Mark like? Oh, he loves Oreo ice cream cakes. We go to Dairy Queen all the time and we get him Oreo ice cream. You make it sound like she's from New York or something. She sounds like she's not. She sounds like she's from New York. Thanks, buddy. I still have that car, says Jeff. Jeff has the coolest gold Scirocco you'll ever see in your life, as if there is a cool Scirocco. You know what a Scirocco is?

Steve: We'll never see. Yeah, it's a Volkswagen.

Chris: Well, I know you know, but do you know what a Chiraco is? A Volkswagen. Of course you know now. Dumbass. All right, I think we've had enough of this for one night. Is it over already? No, you can't believe it. Say it isn't so. I can't believe it. It isn't so. Come on, give us some Hall and Oates, Schwaber.

Steve: Say it isn't so. I'm not saying Hall and Oates. Come on. It can be John Hall. I'll be Adam Morgan.

Marc: Friday night, we're watching you, busy your every move. Friday night, we're watching you.

Chris: Friday night, we're watching you. All right, all right. Thank you for watching this, Pittsburgh, all over the world on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, X. And of course, we dropped the podcast, so you can listen to it right after this show. The iHeartRate, no app, podcast, Spotify, or anywhere you can find podcasts. I am your technical director and I am out.

The Pirate: Let's go Bucs!

Chris: Beat em Bucs.