Episode 8 Long Distance Relationships and Making it work -- 12000 miles apart! Katherine Talian tells her story

Hello, and welcome to the Storied Human. Each week, I will tell you a story. Or I will talk to someone who has their own compelling story to tell. I'm a writer who loves to write. But even more I love to hear stories. Did you know that humans have been telling each other stories since before they wrote, it is one of our most basic forms of communication. And we still love stories that are really old. There's just something wonderful for humans in stories. I hope to explore the treasures inside of our stories. Hopefully, we will all connect and feel close, learn together, and just maybe start to remember who we really are. So tell me, what's your story. I'd love to hear it.
Hello, and welcome to the story, human. today on this episode, I have very special guests who I happen to be related to. But she has a fantastic story. Catherine Talion moved from America to Australia, in 2020. And she did that in February. And if you remember by March, everything closed down in Australia, so she wouldn't have been able to go and be with her fiance. So it was amazing. They've been together for years, and she's going to tell her story about what it takes to leave your country for someone you love, and what it takes to have a long distance relationship. There's lots of nuggets about loyalty and fidelity there that I admire about her very much. So welcome, Catherine Talion
Hi, Lynne. Thanks for having me. You're welcome.
Daughter of mine. Weird call anyway, first name.
So you and Luke have been married since November of 2020. Right? Yes, that is correct. So cool. And you're an expat?
Yes. I'm an expatriate. Yes. So tell us a little bit about you. Like what were you like, when you were like eight years old? I love to start with that question. Because it tells us who you really are. Like, what you liked what you did?
What was it? Yeah.
I would say eight year old Katherine was very
obnoxious.
No, I don't think so. I would say I was very socially outgoing. From a very young age, I'm sure you would agree knowing me from my entire life.
And then I feel like I was a pretty risk averse kid, though, for the most part, like I was very careful.
People. Like, I remember adults in my life, telling me that I was like, very mature for my age in certain ways. But I also was quite loud.
And I would say good at making friends very, like socially capable as a child.
Which I guess it does make sense that I could
meet someone, you know, from another country and make that work. I feel like that makes sense. I've always been pretty good at making friends. And,
you know, I feel like that tracks.
You've always been socially intelligent. We've always noticed that about you. And as a child, you were quite cautious it was, it's just interesting to see what people are born with. Even as a little toddler, you were always more cautious. And that makes a parent feel good, because they don't worry as much about you. Because you just know, to be careful. So it's kind of cool to have that as a personality trait. Yeah, I mean, my whole my whole life, I've kind of always
you know, after that sentence, I've read a lot of qualifiers my entire life, I've needed to rehearse and make sure I fully understand things. Before I make a big decision. I'm always, you know, jotting pro and con lists for things and getting other people's opinions. And, you know, it's a bit it can be a bit inconvenient with like decision making, because I'm not very quick on the draw, especially when it comes to stuff that only affects me, because a lot of things that a lot of big decisions I need to make are easier to make when I consider how it affects others. So, you know, decisions like what is my major going to be in college? I was undeclared for two years because I had to
you know, it was literally just me it would only affect me and people had opinions on it, but it wouldn't really affect anyone else. So you know, you get caught in your own head and you think yourself in circles.
But
the decision to move to Australia was a lot like that. I know I talked about it like it was easy. Like if people ask me, I'm always saying that I love it here, and I love living here and everything. But honestly, if you'd asked me, if I was ready to move a year before I didn't move, I would have said no way. No, and hell, because it's really, I mean, it's really terrifying.
And it was even more terrifying. With, like, with COVID, and everything, just the timeline of it, because when I first moved, I feel like, I had this idea in my mind that I was going to be back soon. Like, I would be able to visit people in six months, or seven or eight months. Like once I was settled, once I had a job, and you know, got everything sorted, I would be able to just come back and visit for a bit. And then
a month after I landed, everything shut down. The Australian borders were closed, and especially the Western Australian borders, Western Australia is a state where I live. And those borders had been closed for a long time. I had no way of visiting so.
And it was really hard to get a job as well. So
I think if I had known what was about to happen, I might have talked myself out of it. So I'm really glad I didn't know because it was worth it to get to where I am now I'm very well integrated now. And I've got a full time job that I really like. And I've got friends, and I was able to marry my partner that was so amazing.
And I have great support here from my mother and father in law who have just been amazing. Because they I mean, they know that I know no one here, they know that I don't have family here, they know that I pretty much only have them and Luke and my friends, so they've really stepped up and they've helped me with so many things. And I'm very lucky, I feel very lucky that I was able to do this. And it didn't blow up on my face. I think I think you are lucky, I'm kind of amazed at the timing. I'm also super grateful to your in laws, because that eases the pain of having you so far away, and not being able to see you for so long. It truly does like knowing that you're in such good hands, that you're happy and that they're taking such good care of you. Because they're they're just really laid back fun, nice, generous people. You know, I just first of all, they reached out to us, they talk to us all the time, I get those really cool emails from your father in law. And I just envy the surfing I really do.
Um, so you're, you're just really aware I think of,
of how you're, you know, how, how you work, like how your mind works, how you do things. And you're also aware, and I think that was such a wise thing you said that if you had known how hard it would have been
up upfront, you might not have you might have talked yourself out of it. I think that's true for a lot of us. We're like gobsmacked by stuff and we just get through it. We look back on it and say I don't know if I would have done that. I kind of feel like that about adopting a greyhound to be honest with you. You know, I don't know if I would recommend it to just anyone. And I think if your dad and I had known how hard it would be we might not have done it. We're really glad he did. We really love him. But it was hard. So I think that was so
cool that you said that because it's so true. If If you had known I would have done it. So let's Can we can we talk Romans, how did you meet Luke? Because Luke, tell everybody where do you live? Exactly.
Oh, man, I tell such different versions of this story depending on who I'm talking.
But you live in Perth, right? He's from Perth. Yes. So well. He's from Mandra which is about an hour outside of Perth.
Western Australia. Perth is the major city on the West Coast of Australia. It's you know, it's the big city. I always explained to people if Sydney is New York, Perth is LA. Yeah.
So the picture is really one to one though, is it? No, but it's like people don't even know that it's on the West Coast. I didn't know. I remember years ago your dad was like, looking into it because he
his company had bought a company in Perth. And that's how I knew but I didn't know right away. I don't think people know. So anyway, yes. The first thing is if we had actually moved to Perth, I might not have met Luke.
Because of how things work. Well, okay, so I'll start. Basically what happened was I, I had a blog on tumblr.com, which is a social media site, or I would say nerds
and basically, I was really into this webcomic that
was on hiatus. And so I made a post on my blog like, oh, man, I really missed this webcomic. Like, I just want to see what happens next. You know, like, I really want to talk about it with someone. I was up at, like 4am. It was my freshman year of college, and I was finishing an essay.
And so I was up very late finishing one. And then I get this instant message. Well, okay, well, Tumblr didn't have instant messaging when this happened. They do now. They didn't when we met. So I got a, I think it was called Tumblr mail. It was infamously terrible, very janky. Sometimes messages didn't even send, like, it was ridiculous. So I get this Tumblr mail. And it's from this blog that I don't follow, but they follow Me. And the messages about the comic, and it's like, oh, man, like, I really miss it, too. Did you hear this theory that like, this character did this thing and, you know, going on and on about some obscure theory, and I was like, Who is this person?
And so I look at their blog, and it's, they're following me. I'm not following them. And so I follow them, because they seem cool. And I like scroll through their stuff. And I was like, oh, you know, it's cool blog. And then we just start talking over Tumblr mail, and I'm, I'm talking about this webcomic. And we're just going back and forth about plot details, open threads, things that are unresolved that we want to resolve. And we're like, really clicking like, we, I just, the conversation is so natural flow so easily. And I'm thinking like, wow, this person's really cool.
And I didn't even know like, what gender Luke was at this point, like, just some random internet person, because I don't think he even had his name or anything.
Like, literally his bio, his bio was like, nothing like it didn't tell you anything about it. So
at this point, I'm like, oh, man, like, why are you up so late? I think I asked him, like, why are you up so late? And he kind of said, like, Oh, I'm in Australia. It's like, 5pm.
And I had this, I legitimately had this moment where I was like, damn it. Like, I really liked this. I like
them, but we clicked so well. And I was like, man, like, they could have been a friend, like, could have been a close friend of mine. But like, he lives so far away. I will never work.
You made it work. And that's yeah, I remember. I remember that feeling that like little twins. Rabbits like Australia. What?
Far away? So
that's basically like, halfway around. Yeah, about 12,000 miles. I think it's like 11,600 something but okay. counted.
So yeah, there's a Yeah, regret, right. Here's a great friend. Somebody Yeah, compatible with? I mean, obviously, I didn't, I wasn't, yeah, obviously, I wasn't in love with him for the jump or anything. But I definitely noticed that we got along very well. And we really understood. You know, when you meet someone new and you're not sure, like, what their texting style is, especially over textual communication, I feel like in person, it's a bit easier to suss out sometimes. Oh, yeah. You know, people use punctuation differently, and like different emoticons and things. But yeah, we just had like the exact same typing style and the exact same like syntax and everything it was, it was crazy. So we just clicked really well, I had to go to bed. It was like 6am or something. And
I don't remember when we decided because as I said before, Tumblr didn't have instant messaging. So I think I was the one that messaged him, and I asked if he had a Skype.
And how remember Skype? I do
crazy, because it's not even that long ago, but like an internet years, it's like 20 years.
Yes, a lot has changed. It's ridiculous. Like zoom didn't even exist, or it like was barely a thing at this point. Yeah, this was like 2016. And zoom. I'm sure it existed, but like no one knew about it, no one knew was doing existed. So we switched to Skype, we start talking on Skype, like, every day, like we are talking every single day. We are like best friends in like a month like when we click so well. And the thing about that is like the time difference sounds ridiculous because Australia is 13 hours ahead of the East Coast of the US during daylight savings. And then when it's not when, when the US isn't on daylight savings time. It's 12 hours because Western Australia doesn't change. So that seems ridiculous and like how does anyone even talk, but we were both in college. So we had a very flexible schedule.
wools and he commuted as well. So he wasn't at school every day, he was only at school like three times a week.
So, you know, we were just talking every day. And then my friends, I started talking about him more and more with my college friend group. And my friends started teasing me about him. And I was insisting that I didn't have a crush on him. And it was ridiculous if I had a crush from far away. And I'm
bad at hiding when I have crushes on people honestly, like, people, people close to me can always tell because I just can't help myself. Like I always talk about the person.
I'm like, they were starting to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's happened throughout my life. Like, every time I really like somebody, I just can't stop bringing them up in every conversation. And then people start getting suspicious. I think that's pretty normal. Actually, yes. Yeah. Probably. Um, but yeah, you know, I was talking to him every day. And they're like, oh, like, is there something going on there? And I was like, No. lying through my teeth.
Obviously, it was. And then about, I think we were friends for for about eight months. Because we met in late November, and we started dating in April. Yeah. So about that one. And I don't really remember.
I don't remember. I mean, cuz I don't remember when exactly I started being like, Oh, I am in romantic love with this person. I don't remember like, a moment where that happened. Because, I mean, we just kind of slipped into it. We, the conversation was always so natural. And I don't remember what our first video chat was either. But like, we did video chat, and we did like call and things. But it was mostly textual, because we were both like doing school and we were a bit busy. So it was easier to multitask when we were texting.
And I just remember, gradually, just kind of falling in love with him.
I was in love with him before we started even dating like I was, I was in love with him. I admitted that to him later. But at the time, I was like, no, no, it's casual. Like it's
think like, in the beginning of a relationship, it's always like, you don't want to freak the other person out by being too intense, right? You know what I love about this? I love that. And this has happened. I've heard other people talk about this. You, you really get to know someone
this way. You know, like you get to know someone in a deeper way than if you just see each other here and there. And you know, and you don't even know what you look like in the beginning. So it's really about who you are. Yeah. And you guys are so I said I've had a bowl. It's ridiculous. You have some, I mean, you know, the same. And we were talking, we did realize like how much we had in common. And it makes a lot of sense why we are so compatible. Because we both grew up in pretty small towns, both about an hour outside of a big city. We both have one younger sibling, we both like our parents do similar things like their interest, even like our literally our family structure is so similar and our parents are interested in the same stuff.
Like, it's, it's really, it's it was bizarre. It was crazy. I, I still can't even believe that. Out of every one on Tumblr. This was at a time when Tumblr was much more popular than it is now. Like the user base is not as big now as it was and tell people how many followers you had. Even when you were young. You
you had a bunch, but most of them are like bots, but it was probably like 100 of like, so yeah, I mean, in that atmosphere and that environment. You found him. Yeah. And he's the only person I've ever like, I don't have that many internet friends. Like I'm not, I don't really like make friends with a bunch of strangers on the internet. On your thing. No. I mean, I do you have some people that I've met through games and things that I like talk to occasionally, but nothing is committed. And like, you know, we were like best friends. Like we talked about everything. Um, he literally gave me advice about this creepy guy who asked me out like a million times and I kept trying to reject
Oh, God, but yeah, um,
you know, like, Luke was a sounding board for like everything. And he confided in me as well. And we also had a lot of common interests. So, I mean, it just made sense. And in the beginning, we were both very nervous because he had never had a serious relationship. And I had only had like, one relationship that was long, like I had dated one person for a year in high school, but it wasn't like that serious. I mean, I didn't think I was gonna marry the guy, you know.
So, then I met you know, I'm gonna meet Luke and it's like, whoa, like I have released you know, we actually get along. We are so compatible. We have so much in common, like life experiences.
His interests, goals for our lives. Like we both didn't really want kids. And like, we were, you know, it was like crazy. Yeah, we talked about this stuff before we started dating.
I think it was just so cool that you found each other. I mean, it's, yeah, he was far away. And that was kind of tough. But it's rare to find someone that you line up with that way. And it is kind of freaky how his parents, they feel like people we would know. And like, they feel like, you know, people that could be our friends. There's,
you know, they've got the nature thing. And we're like obsessed with nature and the beach. And
I just love
the feeling of our families are really similar. I just love this feeling that you found this person and, and it works on every level. And it's even similar in that, like, one of his parents has a lot of siblings and the other one doesn't as much. And like, that's the same as you and dead as well. Oh, my gosh, there's just so many. And both of our birthdays are in March. They're a week apart.
I know this year, too. Oh, but anyway, so actually getting together was just,
ah, oh, no, I don't remember when I told my parents, you and my parents about him. I think I did mention him when he was still a friend. Yes. Like I did. I did talk about him when he was still a friend. And like, I feel like you kind of were like, is this? What kind of friend is this? Like? It
was like a romantic friend.
But yeah, no, um, Luke didn't tell his parents about me until after we were dating.
He's not very, he's not very communicative with his parents. Like, he tells them what they need to know. You know what I mean? On a need to know basis. Well, at least when he was a teenager, he definitely was. I remember how scary it was when he came to our house for the first time because I was just like, so this person is real. And he's coming to our house. And we've never met him. What was it? Like, when you first saw him at the airport? Like in person? Like, what was that? Like? That moment? Oh, skipping over how we got together? Because that's a pretty funny one. Yeah, tell me that. Okay, well, I'll tell you how we how we actually started decided to date each other.
So it was it was April 27. I still remember the day. Or it was either the 27th to the 29th. But I'm sure if Luke listens back to this, he'll be like it was 29.
So it was just one night I was up until 2am, or something talking to him. And we were kind of like going back and forth on like flirting a little bit. And he made a joke about
I like made a joke about holding hands with him or something. And he was like, Oh, why you want to hold my hand? Well, why do you want to do that? And then he kind of like straight up asked me if I had romantic feelings for him. Like in a very light hearted, like joking sort of way. And then in parentheses, he was like, no pressure, by the way, you don't have to answer that. Sorry if I made it. Oh, he was very sweet. And I kind of was just like, yes.
Oh, and what year?
was, it was 2016? No. 2015 It was 2015. Because it was April of my freshman year. So yeah, it was 2015. Wow.
And I was just like, Yes, I do. And he kind of, I was like, Yes, I do. But like it's okay, if you don't like me back, like we can still be friends and like, I value our friendship so much. And like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, making justifications and everything. And he just kind of was like, of course, I like you back. What are you talking about? Oh, that's sweet. So it's seven years ago?
Yeah, seven years ago. Wow. And it was it was kind of just we were both um,
this is, I always apply my relationships to other people's relationships when they asked me for advice. And I don't, I don't really believe in universal relationship advice. But I would say the biggest green flag ever, is if you're both thinking the same things, a lot of the time in regards to like relationship progression. Because at the start of our relationship, we were both hesitant. We didn't want to freak each other out. I remember saying like, I just don't want to like if you're dating me and I live so far away And realistically, we're only going to see each other like once a year. If you have other people in your life that are you know, more convenient for you to see that you have feelings for I don't want to like take that away from you. And he was thinking literally the same exact thing. He was like, Well, you have so many friends and like you're so good at
Making friends like you must have other people that you're interested in,
in, in your like on your campus much closer to you like, I don't want to take that opportunity away from you. And I said, there is no one who's a better fit for me than you are.
And he said, okay, thank God because I feel the exact same way. Oh, that's so nice that you. You're so cute.
Yeah, that's so scary. Yeah, that's indicative of the release. We were both very realistic about the impracticalities of the relationship. And we really just talked about that very frankly, upfront, and decided that even though it was annoying, and inconvenient, and costly to see each other it was, we both thought that we were the best option for each other sort of thing. Yeah, there's just two there. Yeah. Yeah. So we started getting in April, and we didn't actually meet in person until December.
And, yeah, meeting him, meeting him in person was really weird. Because like, a lot of people in my life didn't really understand. Right? Didn't really, I mean, I don't blame people for being weird about it. Like, it just is something that a lot of people just don't have the context to get. Because they've never had anything like it. Especially if you're older. You don't really, you know, real, you didn't really have internet friends. So and you know, the whole stranger danger thing.
So a lot of people were a little like, making jokes, like, Oh, what if he's like, this 45 year old man? And, you know, what, if he's catfishing you or what if the? What if the relationship dynamic is completely different in person? Like, what if he's like, a jerk in person or something, you know, which is, you know, not catfishing, but I guess, personality catfishing.
You know,
so I was really nervous, because at that point, I mean, we'd only been dating for like, when dating for that long We alone, we had only known each other for about a year. And I was much less confident person. Like, I was a bit more insecure than I was now.
And I didn't, like I had a lot of faith in him and us and everything, but I didn't really get a 100% positive reaction from anyone I told. Oh, that's hard. Yeah. Including,
like, you felt like we had to be cautious as your parents. Oh, yeah. I mean, you guys I think are the most the most justified reactions. Like this random stranger that's gonna be living in our house. Um, that's hard when everyone doesn't get it. That is, that's hard. Yeah, it's not like malicious. Like, it wasn't like, people were trying to put me down or anything. It was just like, no one else really understood. Why I've
people didn't understand that how real the relationship was, even though, you know, and also, we were so young. I mean, I'm, we started dating when I was 18. And he was away. No, I was 19. I was 19. And he was 18. And, you know, and how old are you now? Just so people know, I am now 26.
Yeah, and he is 25
as of like, two weeks ago, um, so you know, like, I understand that, like, statistically, we probably were going to break up at a lot of people's minds. And
I was very, I was very sure about him very early. And I think a lot of people miss took my confidence as flippin like I hadn't considered how hard it was going to be like, practically speaking, even though I definitely had. And maybe you were naive, because as you've said, they didn't have something like that, like what you had is very unusual. That young. Yeah. You knew in our heart that it was real.
Yeah. Other people. It was a young, I was a young woman, people tend to not take right young women quite as seriously as they should, perhaps. But
yeah, it was, it was a bit weird. Like it was a bit uncomfortable telling certain people like, you know, it was it was fine. People didn't it really wasn't that bad. It was just, I took it like I was very nervous already. And it just so right.
Yeah, so he landed New Year's Eve 2016.
Or, sorry, he landed New Year's Eve. 2015. Right. And I I had my roommate, my college roommate, who was one of my best friends at the time. She still is one of my best friends. And she lives pretty close to JFK. So I had her come to the airport for moral support. And it was many Yeah, it was me her and my dad. And all in the airport.
And because she she knew Luke like my roommate, she was like, they were talking and because I wanted them to be friends, like I wanted them to know each other. And so, you know, she kind of knew him and they like hung out. So she was also excited to meet him. But like, you know, she wasn't nearly as nervous as me. So
he
was on the plane for 24 hours, he had a layover.
He was like, exhausted, he was all like, he was all gross. He just wanted to take a shower.
And it was sleep. Unlike you, he doesn't really sleep on planes, right? Yeah, he can't sleep like on any he needs, like sleeping pills to sleep on a plane for real.
That's fine. I just remember I remember just running up to him and giving him a hug. And then I almost like knocked him over.
I mean, he was exhausted, and like, he wasn't really ready for that. So I almost like, you know, destroyed him in the middle of the airport by crushing him on the pavement. And I just gave him the biggest hug. And it was like, so crazy. Like, I felt so out of my depth. I was like, so awkward at the start. Having my roommate there really helps him like, it was even funnier, because it was, you know, my dad was there. So it was like, Hi, Dad. Here's my boyfriend. You've never met him for like, eight months.
is from another another country? It was a little different. Yeah, I have to say.
And so you know, my roommate gave him a hug as well, because they were friends at the time. And then I mean, they're still friends. She gave him a hug as well, because they were friends. And then she ended up leaving, because she had to go home. And then, you know, we took him to the car, and we loaded everything. And it was like a little bit awkward at first. But then the report just came back. Like instantly. Like we were in the car and we just started chatting like it was completely normal. You were just switching to in real life chatting. Yeah. So
yeah, like we video chatted and stuff. So it was like, you know, it's not like we had never talked to reach out or with our voices. But yeah, it was, it was really easy. Like, it just felt so simple and easy.
And it was like, it was like normal. And then being able to actually like hold his hand and give him a hug and like, just like, you know, just be with him. Yeah, it was almost overwhelming. Like it was crazy. Because I had been so used to expressing affection through like words. Yes, set now I was like, oh my god, I can just like, I can just give him a hug.
Whenever I want now, that's insane. I gotta tell you, you guys were so cute. Like you were so mushy and so cute. And we like, right away. He's so easy. Like, we just liked him right away. Like, we were worried. We didn't know him. He's gonna stay in our house. Oh my god, what are we doing? And then within like a day, we were like, oh, yeah, it's Luke.
It was so obvious how close you guys were. Yeah, I remember we like could not. We like couldn't leave each other alone. Like, we were always like holding hands or leaning on each other or something like,
because it was, I mean, it was so nice. It's like, it was such a privilege to be able to do that. Just like stuff that other people take for granted. Just like leaning against someone or like holding their hand whenever you want is like so nice. I remember that feeling. And then making each other laugh and like being able to like, just like, really giggle together in real time without the lag from the video.
Yeah, I mean, that was because before that, it was like, oh, man, is this really gonna work? This is crazy.
I'm like, I knew how ridiculous it was, you know? And then once we met in person, I was like, No, this is good. I think this is good. I think he's the one actually like that was really what kind of cinched it because I knew that I loved him, obviously. And oh, it was also nice to say I love you in person. It just hits different, you know? Oh, yeah.
And because we had we'd said, I love you, I think like three months into dating. And I cuz I was kind of like, I wanted to wait until we met in person. But like, I just want to tell you because I do love you. And then it was very cute. It is. It's sweet. Yeah, we just have very sweet, a very sweet relationship. You still do. But I'm amazed that he just like jumped on a plane and and went really far away. And I don't think he'd ever done that. I know you had never done that such a long flight. There's a lot of bravery on that for myself. I mean, it would hard it would be hard to ever have done that. Unless you literally went to Australia, because there's a lot of bravery on both sides. Like you know, that's how much you cared about each other. You're like, Yeah, I'll do this thing that I've never done. I'm not even sure I want to but to see you I'll do it.
Mm hmm.
I think that's pretty cool.
So yeah, we liked him. We were like happy that he was real.
Happy. He really
enjoyed him a lot. And we felt better after that first visit. So then he stayed about two and a half weeks if I remember. Yep. You went there, right?
Yeah. Then I went there after
we visited each other four times before I moved here. I believe. He could, yeah, cuz he came to America three times. And I went to Australia twice. So I guess five. And then, like, my third time was when I moved here.
And yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, it was really hard, especially after we graduated. It was really hard. Because
like, he was,
wait, hang on. Now, because like, after I've tried graduated, and I was working more, and I had like, more hours at work, it was really hard, because the only times that we could talk to each other were in the morning or in our at night, like in the evening, right. So, you know, when you're working a nine to five job,
you have to go to bed early, and you have to wake up early, and you don't have time. And like, the only time I have is in the middle of the day, which is like 2am for him. So yeah.
Long distance was definitely the roughest the year before I moved here.
Because before that, it was pretty easy to make time and just like stay up late and bounce back or schedule around classes or things like that. But once I started working, I got I got like an office job.
And that would that made it so much harder?
And like, I don't know, yeah, I heard you too. Yeah. To get, you know, I got to get there. Right. But yeah, when he was gonna come here, originally, yeah.
But then I thought that for a while. So it was like a big shift to have. But it means so just because I wanted him to come. The real reason was because I was afraid.
Oh, because I was afraid because I was so close to my family. And I was so close to my extended family. And I didn't want to leave, like I was I was very scared. And then I like we just kind of sat down and had a really honest conversation about the good old pro and con list came back out. There you go.
You know, there's just a lot of positives to living here.
Like, I would be able to live in a city. And I would be like, the public transit is much better, the healthcare is much better. And he also ended up getting a really good job with the state government. So
that kind of, yeah, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wasn't gonna ask him to move from anyone if it was really in a Ph. D. program, right? Where he moves to different stations within the government, he tries out different areas now that that that ended, because it was
okay. So, but he was maybe me maybe cut that bit out, cuz, yeah. But there was he was in, he was like, in a graduate program. And he was, you know, moving to different departments and things. So, you know, I had a generic job that was not tied to my region, necessarily. And he had like, a very specific, real sort of thing. So.
Yeah, and then
holding myself back. Yeah. But I think having the job and not being able to talk to him as much it kind of pushed you to realize I got to do this, you know, I got to go there. So I know that was not easy at all.
And you thought
it was very intimidating. Yeah. I'm really glad I did it. Good. Well, it worked out.
Yeah, I mean, now we we just bought a house. I've got a full time job.
I'm like, pretty well integrated into the city. Now. I know my way around more. I just I feel like I really belong here. Now. I felt so you know, when you first meet someone new, it's like you don't you feel like you don't really fit in. But Perth is actually full of people from different places like that. Oh, very. Yeah. Yeah. It's like there's people from all over. There's a few different people at my job in my office who are also from different countries. So it's really cool.
And I love the weather. Oh my gosh. Oh, yeah. The weather is also really great. It's a big plus. I've read that it's, I've written it people say it's like Southern California weather.
Although
It gets really hot though. I noticed. Yeah, we had a really hard summer. Yeah. And our winter, and that's weird to Summer. Summer is ending at the moment. That's April so we're moving into fall ish.
Yeah, it's, I've never seen it get below like 37 Fahrenheit.
Roughly. Yeah. Wow. So how did he react to you? Like are people used to having Americans around? Or is there any kind of thing you've experienced? Oh, people clock my accent all the time.
Generally scarily accurate clocking by the way, like, literally, I was, I was like, just checking out at some restaurant or something. And the cashier was like, Are you from New York?
America, usually say America like, Are you American? But this person was like, Are you from New York? Like, just pin the map? Just? And I was like, yeah.
I just tell people, I'm from like, an hour outside of New York City, because it's wait. People have no idea what Hunterdon county even is, like, a lot of us really think the New Jersey is actually a city.
American geography is intimidating and confusing, and I don't blame them at all. But yeah, it's even more confusing, because Jersey City is a city. Yeah, right. Well, we don't know that much about Australia. I mean, let's be fair.
I mean, I, your husband is very unusual, because he knows, probably more than a lot of us do about our geography and our politics. Yeah, he was always pretty invested in he consumed a lot of American media. And he knew a lot about America. And I, when we first started dating, it was definitely a big gap. Because like, Americans have no cultural context for Australia. Like at all. The only thing we know is like Steve Irwin.
Yeah, and we know, we know like, shrimp on the barbie and Koalas and Kangaroos.
Oh, yeah. We have a vague sense of
so many people ask me about koalas. And I keep having to tell people that they're not native to the Western Australia.
Like, sorry, guys, I moved to the part of the country without koalas. Oh, my gosh. Are there kangaroos around? Yeah, yeah, there's King. Come on. There's kangaroos. And are they like deer? Like that's how I think of them. Like, you know, they're just like, around.
Yeah, I don't really see them now that I've moved up to Perth. But when we were living with his parents and Mandra, when we were looking for an apartment,
they do, there are certain places that they hang out. Like if you go to a big field, late in the day, like after it's hot. If you go like a bit later, they're just like hanging out. They're just laying down
in the fields. So I just feel like those are your deer. Right? Deer everywhere. Yeah. I feel like there's not as many kangaroos here as there are here in New Jersey, but it pretty much tracks.
So I want I level. Go ahead. Go ahead. Also, a lot of Australians, like a surprising amount have been to America at least once. Wow. Or like know someone here? Um, a lot of because a lot of people who recognize my accent are like, Oh, are you from America? My cousin lives there or something? Well, that's kind of cool. And I feel like the reverse is super not true. Like America does. Americans do not know anyone in Australia and do not think about us really at all.
Well, I have to say that when I mentioned where you live, if they have been to Australia, it's overwhelmingly positive. I have never heard. I've never heard a country have such overwhelmingly positive reviews. Across the board. People love Australia if they do go there. But you're right. They don't know that much about it. I don't know that. It is very culturally similar to the US. It is, isn't it? It's kind of brilliant. Extremely well, because yeah, we're both British colonies and like, Australia is even a similar size to the US. I'm just like, geographically speaking. But yeah, culturally very similar. I would say Australians are a little more chill. Like generally.
Because I mean, because you know, per city, but you can tell that you're not in like New York, right? Or like Philly has way less population dense. And there's just there's just less people. Yeah, that sounds ideal. Actually. It was kind of nice because like, you know, I grew up in a pretty small town I was in the sticks. Like I grew up next to cow farms and cornfields and stuff so it was a nice Perth is a nice like smaller city where it's like all the convenience of living in a city without the crazy population dense stuff.
It's it's really nice. I really like to hear this
Sounds wonderful. I can't wait to see it.
Yeah, hopefully you'll be able to see it soon. I mean, the borders are open now. So there you go. Or you can come here and see all your family and friends, we're going to see.
I've got two different friends getting married in November 2023. So
back then
it's gonna be really weird going there. After.
After living here. It's, I think the most like,
the thing that stuck out to me the most was just the plants. Like, the tree. Yeah, the look of it, right. And like, even on the side of the road, like the bush and everything just looks so different.
That's cool. So you know, you're in a totally different area of the earth. I mean, it really, it really does feel completely different. Like, Oh, also, this is just a PSA for any Americans who want to visit, um, bring allergy medication,
bring allergy medication.
Something about the plants man like, because it's just there's so different. Australia has so much unique flora and fauna. And I got here by allergies. I usually had like pretty mild seasonal allergies. But when I got here, I was like sneezing and sneezing and sneezing it was, oh my goodness. Gosh. So yeah, I mean, if you're American, and you want to just bring in any history in with you, just in case, you know, but that's like a physical symptom of how different it is really, because you're coming out. Paul, and you never came up against interesting piece of advice. So now you're gonna untreated wood or Australian customs will kill you. Oh, how do you know that?
Because I actually, yeah, so when I was landing,
I had this little wooden frog thing. I think my brother got it. For me. It was like, Well, you know, I mean, you know who my brother is. But we'll just
it was like this little frog. And you like, had little ridges on its back and you scrape it and makes like frog noise. So that they pulled it out of my suitcase. And they were like, is this untreated wood? And I was like, I mean, I got it in a gift shop. So I'm assuming it was treated wood. And they were like, well, it looks untreated. They were like very mad. They were very serious and very mad. And I was like, no, like, you have to declare this. Like, oh, I have to declare this because it's untreated. And I was like, okay, and you know, I was like very tired. This is when I touched down in Perth. So I was, you know, I had been on the plane for like, 24 hours. Oh, and so they were like, I was very out of it. So they were kind of like annoyed with me. But they let me keep it they didn't confiscate it or anything. Oh, thank goodness, you have to declare it.
Why? Why do you have to declare untreated wood? That's so weird. Oh, because? Well, because it's, um,
it's like to preserve the local ecosystem.
Sir, I'll start over. It's to preserve the local ecos ecosystem, because if what is untreated, it can carry bugs, and like, pests and things. So like, they can burrow into it easier, or something like that. So that's so weird. Yeah, I wouldn't again, it's a very real concern. And like, they have an entire branch of customs that's like, dedicated to like, you know, you have to declare if you've got any plants, like any loose plants or anything. Um, I have like loose leaf tea. I declared it just in case because it was like, you know, yeah, it's, I mean, it's important. They have a lot of unique organisms here. That make sense, biodiversity is really important. And, you know, Australia has already been through a huge, like, mass extinction event because of colonization. Yeah. So, you know.
So yeah.
So you've, you've had, I just think of it as quite an adventure. And somehow
you ended up, settled and you've got a house and you got a job and you got married? It worked out? I would say, yeah. It's crazy. How normal everything feels now. Yeah, that's what I'm willing. You know, like, I've been here for two and a half years at this point.
Well, not two and a half. It's been, it's been two.
Right? And it's crazy. Because, you know, if you had told me when I was in college, that I would move here and like, have a whole adult life and have an office job and have a house and be married to this guy that I met on the internet, like, you would have said what
I mean, there's a lot of things. There's a lot of odds stacked against that situation working out so I think it's because we
and I were very stubborn. And we just decided we just chose each other over and over. Like, we were just like, No, this is gonna work. I was gonna say there's something special about you guys that you were able to just commit at that level. And you were very young. And you chose each other over and over that was it like that? That's what it takes. And you knew that somehow you guys had that? Yeah, I mean, we had a discussion upfront, like, if we are not all in on this, it's not really worth doing it. Because it's so the plane tickets are so expensive, we're not going to be able to see each other very much. And, you know, we're going to be investing a lot in each other. And we need to seriously commit to this, if we're going to make it work. And we both really understood that and like laid it out, and decided that it was what we wanted to do. And so we did it.
I admire that. I really do.
Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of practical reasons why it worked as well. Like we had a lot of support from family members. And we were able to, especially with the money like to see each other while we were both in college, and we didn't have like I had a part time job. And Luke wasn't working. So it was like, you know, our parents helped us out very much. And being able to stay for free in his parents house and vice versa.
Like, you know, I appreciate every little bit
every little bit of help. No, because like, it's easy to say like, well, I just made it happen with my sheer force of will. And it's true. It's not really true. Like, you totally sound like my daughter. Now. I wrote like a whole piece on medium about, please stop talking about how you worked so hard. And you deserve what yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I think sometimes, like if you I mean, if you can't afford to see someone that you're dating long distance, eventually, it's gonna fizzle out. Like, it's just not really an option. I have thought about that. Like, if you hadn't been able to fly to each other it, it might not have had that continuity in spite of your strong feelings. So yeah, and I mean, we had a very, like, we are always very realistic about everything, like I was talking him. I mean, we don't like to have conversations like this, because it's depressing, depressing. But I basically was like, Man, can you imagine if I didn't get it in time, and I wasn't able to see you. I've liked it. And I wasn't. And we kind of were like, honestly, we probably would have broken up just like so hard for practical reasons. Yeah. But after all those years, I'm so glad you went when you did, even though I was sad. And it was kind of quick. And we did think we were coming back like the next you know, a Christmas. I'm just really glad for you that you went when you did because you needed to be with him. And you've built this life. And I think it's great.
Yeah, it's honestly been a really, it's been really good for my confidence as well. Because
overcoming challenges is a good way to make you feel better about yourself. Well, there you go. The storied human, we have lessons that we like to teach people. Oh, my God, I think that you're both you were both so sober and aware. At such a young age. Like I just love that. I mean, maybe he was cautious, too, as a child. Like, I just feel like there's a sober quality about you guys. And
if I had to describe Luke, it would probably be that he's very decisive.
Like, once he is committed to something, he will not do he will not stray from it. Unless he doesn't think it makes sense. Yeah, like, he. He looks things very practically. And like I do, too. Like we have a very similar way. Your logical Yeah, yes. You really do. Like, Well, he did cosplay Spock one time. So yeah, he's very logical. There you go. And you both majored in psychology, which i Another thing that's similar.
Yeah, true. Wow. Yeah. We do the same major. I didn't even bring that up before. No. But yeah, I mean, he made it insight because he was really good at statistics. He's more of a math person than me.
But we have enough, we have enough different that, you know, we balanced each other out. That's so cool. Well, Miss Katherine, thank you for sharing, really like sharing the story, like things that maybe I didn't put together before. And I loved hearing it. And I think it's, um, I think it's inspirational. That, you know, it's not like lala land like, oh, I fell in love, and I moved there. It wasn't easy. It wasn't something you necessarily wanted to do, right? I mean, I'm never gonna be that person. And it's very inspiring that you trusted what you had, that you guys were so able to be loyal and hold on, and that you did something really scary for the sake of being with him. I'm inspired by that. And I think that my listeners will be too
I hope so. I think you're pretty cool.
Thanks, Mom. You're well, I think you're pretty cool too.
And mutual admiration society. And thank you for giving us your time and your honest story. It's just so cool. We'd really appreciate it.
And thank you for listening to the storied human
and take care. And now enjoy a few more bars of my new intro and outro song written by my son Brendan Talion. I love that Brazilian feel, and I really like having his original music on my show. So enjoy