Transcript
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Hello and welcome to The Storied Human. I'm Lynne Thompson, and today my guest is Whitney Ellis. She was a successful producer before she realized she could help women realize their worth. She's now a money life coach. Her story is inspirational, and so is her work. She found she was burnt out by the demands of her job, but she realized that she did enjoy part of it, asking people powerful questions and having hearing their stories, which I loved, that she told me she talked to all kinds of people, and she's done so many interviews over the years, she realized that those skills would transfer. So let's hear more about how she did this, and it's a really great story. And I want to welcome you, Whitney, thank you so much for coming.
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Thank you, Lynne, thank you so much for letting me be here and share my story.
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From the first moment you told me that you used to be, you know, that's a pretty cool job, like used to be a producer in New York, and now you're, you know, a money life coach. That's a big switch. And I always want to know how people do that.
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Yeah, it's so interesting. You know, when people ask me what I did for a living, and I said, TV producer, people were always like, Oh my gosh, that is so cool. Yeah, yeah, you know, oh, what showed? What shows you know, did you work on? And I always would find at least one show that they knew I worked on.
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So I knew I wanted to be in film and TV production at a young, younger age. I did photography, and it ultimately led to filmmaking. And then I found work in New York City, working in TV. And, you know, I had a 12 year career in television, and it took me all over the world. I got to interview all types of people, from, you know, a gang banger to a zookeeper to, you know, an expert, you know, like a CIA agent or FBI agent. So it gave me this incredible ability to not only go experience the world, but be able to have one on one interviews with these interesting people who had incredible stories to share. And that was the part I loved about my job, was being able to ask powerful questions and hear people's stories. And one thing I found was that I often was interviewing people about really, sometimes tragic things that happened to them, and I would notice that in our two hour interview they would like have almost like this healing experience by just having somebody in front of them willing to listen to their story and actively listen and ask them questions. And by the end of our two hour interview, something would shift in them, and I would think, Oh my gosh, this is this is something special. But the thing was, we were doing it for television, right? So my objective was always okay, get the good stuff so that can go on TV. And you know, as I began to work more in my career, I started realizing what actually motivated me was helping people like in a really, real, practical way, and that wasn't really what I was doing with my job in a way that I would have liked. And so I started wondering, well, how can I really help people? And I want to look back on my life and be proud of something that I did, and I enjoyed my career, but I also it was a very it was a very tough job. I mean, I'm working 12 hour days. I you kind of like work life balance is a non existent thing. I'm sure a lot of people can identify with that. I was always traveling, and it wears on your body, and ultimately, I just started feeling like there's gotta be more than this, you know. And what ended up happening was, over the 12 year period, I climbed to the top. I went from, you know, being a production assistant, which is like getting coffee for the big the big boys and girls up there, you know, the executive producers, to actually becoming the executive producer that somebody was getting coffee for. Wow. So, yeah, that's a quick rise, actually, right? That's pretty quick. Can you, I can't resist, can you tell us some of the shows that you worked on? I know people want to know.
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Yeah, sure. So I did a lot of unscripted television, so things like the one of my favorite shows I worked on was called the zoo. It was on Animal Planet where we filmed at the Bronx Zoo. That was a super fun job.
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Many people know of John Walsh, the guy who was on America's Most Wanted who, you know, used to be like, let's catch these dirt bags. You know, after the cops back in the 90s. Well, him and his son started a new show called in pursuit with John Walsh. So I worked on things like that, a lot of true crime.
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I also worked on this incredible show on the Travel Channel called mysteries at the museum.
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And I gotta go. I went over to over 100 museums all over the country for that job. Wow. So it was very cool. But I say this as a caveat, production work is a grind. It is. Yeah, you know, there's hustle culture. You have to say, yes, if you have boundaries, people are a little put off. You know, as I grew in my career, I began to start to put my foot down and say, you know, I have boundaries. I'm not going to do this, I'm not going to do that. But there's sort of this culture of hustle, hustle, hustle, your your personal life doesn't matter. You give to this show. You give to this production. And kind of you're lucky to be here, right? You're lucky to be here, and it is a big deal. I mean, you were lucky to have such a cool I mean, you worked hard, and you were lucky to have such a great career. You're reminding me so much of my friend Sandy Cohen. She worked as a celebrity journalist for 12 years for the, for LA, for, actually, just for the, what do you call that? Just the AP, and so she would get called in the middle of the night, so and so's getting a divorce. Can you get on it like that was a big deal, right? You had to, you had to document that so and so was getting a divorce, and she got to go to the Oscars every year. That was fun. But over time, same thing, 12 years, over time, it was like, this is not enough. I think your heart starts to call out for something deeper. And I just love that you noticed. I love that you started to notice people are changing.
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When I when I interview them, there's something that's happening. And that's what I love about what you do. I knew that the minute I met you, is that you really listen to people, which is rare. Even people that interview don't always listen. They have, like, a script, they follow up, right?
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They're not really there in the moment. And I think you were starting to notice that, you know, you have more to give in another way, 100% so cool that you started to notice that. And I think we just kind of, you know, mature and what we want in our 20s is not what we want in our 30s. There's like, a really cool change. I think when we come out of our 20s, I noticed most people, they kind of figure out who they are in their early 30s. They just sort of say, wait a minute, you know? And that's what happened to Sandy, and that's what happened to you? Yeah, I would say a real shift happened to me, like the over the last couple years of my career. I remember specifically that, well, one I had gone all the way to the top and I was making pretty good money, and people would be like, You're so lucky. You're living your best life. You're living the dream.
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And I I always thought, oh my gosh, I don't feel that way at all. This is not this can't be my dream. I know that I meant to do so much more. This can't be it. And so I would almost feel guilty when people would be like, well, Aren't you lucky, you know. And I would so there was some part of me deep inside that knew I had a bigger purpose than just to produce hours of television. Yeah. And then a couple things happened. One thing that happened was I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, you know, a couple years back, and I had this very uncouth Doctor, this doctor who had no table side manner, or whatever you call that bedside manner, she actually left me a voicemail to tell me that I had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and I was actually on set working a job, and I remember listening to the voicemail, and it said, you know, you have this autoimmune disease. It's called Hashimotos.
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It's pretty much incurable, and you have to live with it. I have, oh, I have it too. A lot of us have it, yeah, yeah.
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And I remember thinking, so not only has my job making I believe, made me sick, but here I am working this job, finding this out, you know. And I think that was a real eye opener for me, because I always felt overworked, and I was constantly living off of coffee and just not taking care of myself in that way. So I wasn't surprised.
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So I felt like that was a big moment for me. Like, okay, your health is being affected by how you're working that hustle. And then I, you know, started to think about, well, what's my mission? What do I want to leave behind in this world? And I knew that it wasn't making TV. And then I hit a rock bottom. I had one of those moments where, like, the worst production day of my life, where everything went wrong. And. And this guy who I was supposed to interview made me cry. It was just like so bad. It was just like the worst production day of my 12 year career. I handled so much. There was a hurricane coming, like sirens going. It was crazy. It was just like one of those days where everything went wrong. And I remember I was sitting in a hotel room crying because I felt stuck in a career on a path that I didn't know how to pivot. And I was like, well, what's the plan here? And I just, like, literally said to the universe, God, Spirit, whatever you want to call it. I said, I feel stuck, and I don't want to feel this way. How do I how do I change? How do I get out of this. How do I shift careers?
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How do I do something that feels right for me? And that was the moment there I was like, Okay, I'm going to change my life right now. I don't, I don't know. I didn't know where I was going yet, but I knew, and I actually went and took a picture of myself and I held up the number one, that this was day number one of my my new life, whatever it was, I just didn't want it to keep being TV producing for 12 years, for 12 hours a day, making TV. I knew I wanted it to be something significant.
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So I just love that you listen to that, you know, because a lot of people do keep going. But I also think sometimes, like the worst day and the Hashimoto kind of wakes you up too. It's like you're ready to change, but then you get pushed a little bit.
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Yes, absolutely, you get pushed the universe, funnily enough, heard Mike cry. And then something extraordinary happened. I not only did I quit, so I quit. Within two weeks, I said, I'm not, I'm not doing this anymore. Oh, I love that.
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But and then a water pipe burst in our apartment and destroyed everything. We woke up and it destroyed everything. And so suddenly, suddenly, I was like, not only did I just quit a 12 year career, but literally, our life had been like wiped away by a single bursted water pipe in winter, and everything went in storage. We suddenly were moved out, not living in New York City anymore. And it's so funny, because that was one of the hardest that month was one of the hardest months of my life, and it was like the universe was like, Okay, I heard you. You don't want to be stuck anymore.
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Oh, my God.
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So that's something that said some Oh my god. So similar to this. It's like, you can ask for something, but you don't know how it's going to happen. And that's horrifying, really, when you think about what you had to go through. But it got you out of New York. That's when you look back, you're like, that was horrible, but it got me out of New York. And the thing that I can't help but think is you were flooded, and like, water and rain and flooding is emotion.
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It's like burst emotion, like, symbolically, like, that's so intense that that happened to you, and I can't even imagine going through that. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't easy going back from that, but, oh, it was the hardest month, one of the hardest months of my life. And it's so funny, be careful what you wish for, right? Because I felt like, now I look back on it, and I'm like, telling the universe, please help me be unstuck. And then a flood literally wiped my life away. And then everything I own was so powerful. It was, yeah, it was in storage. And then I started searching for, like, okay, it's, it's wild, because it gave me permission to have a clean slate, yeah, I can see that, right?
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Like, you have no choice, right?
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You got to just start over, yeah? And I cool. And I said, Okay, what is it I want to do?
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And I actually had a mentor who really helped guide me a little bit, and she said he ever thought about life coaching? And I said, Well, what the heck is life coaching? That sounds ridiculous. And as soon as I learned about it, I was like, Oh, you ask people powerful questions and story, but you're allowed to keep doing it right? You don't have to pick the choice bits for TV.
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Yeah, and you really help people with their life and their transitions. And it was interesting because I was going through my own transition. So what I really love doing is helping people who are ready to shift careers, who maybe had a catalytic event to happen to them, maybe they got a divorce, maybe, you know, something, they got laid off, and they're ready to go and do something amazing.
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So it's cool, because I've used my experiences to help other people transition through that and to find their purpose. And ultimately, I began to find clues the universe sort of left me, little pieces of okay, go this direction, and I've just keep pivoting. And actually, that day that I was in the hotel room crying and said, I'm, you know, stuck, I think, was the day that I said, from this point forward, I'm going to listen to my intuition and my inner knowing and make all my decisions based on that and not my fear anymore, because for most of my life, I had made decisions 100% based. On fear.
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Fear was in the driver's seat.
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It was driving my life. I was afraid to not have enough money, I was afraid to say no. I was afraid of what could happen, and yet I was miserable. So I decided it was time to shift and actually get quiet enough start listening to my inner knowing and literally make my decisions based on that even if I was scared, that's so powerful. And I think we can so relate to it, most of us, right? Fear is always driving a lot of us, and we have to really become aware of it. I mean, it's how it's why they sell deodorant, right? Yes, you're so afraid you're gonna smell bad. It's why they sell makeup and deodorant. And you know, just this fear of not fitting in or not smelling good or not looking good, and they manipulate that. Advertisers know how to manipulate that, and so it's just woven in our our world, and women, especially, I think, are fearful, you know, we're I felt like my, you know, I was raised way back, and my parents were, like, always protective, more protective of me. And I feel like a lot of women, they, you know, internalize that fear. It's like, oh, well, I, I can't do stuff. I have to be safe, you know. And so we don't really, we don't step out into the world.
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We don't do that. We hold ourselves back, or, like, the money thing too, is such a fear thing, right? Oh, I can't quit my job. I need, you know, we we settle for that mediocrity because it's safe. So I just think it's wonderful that you're I love when people use what happened to them to help others.
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And that's part of why I do the podcast. Because I remember saying to people, you know, you go through things, what's the point if you can't share it, and people can't, you know, and have people learn from it. So our stories are so precious to me. I everybody that tells me a story.
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I learned something, and then I never know who's going to hear it and learn something too, like, really, what is the point?
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Right? We're all here together, going through stuff. I just love that you trusted your instincts, though, that you decided I'm going to trust these, these instincts, my my heart. You followed your heart, and you trusted the the signs and the clues that the universe was sending, which I believe in wholeheartedly. Because people keep telling me that, like, that's what people keep telling me is, is what happened in their life, and it's so it's kind of magical. You know, 100% I would say that, you know, a lot of us let fear guide us, but I think women, especially not to discount men in this. But I think we are given the gift of superpower of intuition. And I think for a lot of our lives, we're taught not to listen to it or use it. And I have now realized that, and this is one thing I teach as a coach, is that your inner knowing, your body inside of you, it knows the answer you just simply it's your compass. It's your North Star.
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It is what's leading you in the direction that you want to go.
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You simply must listen to it and just step into it and have faith and trust it. But I'm not going to lie to you even in trusting my North Star or following my inner compass or, you know, my intuition, it's still scary, and things don't always go the way I expect, but it feels more empowering now to know that I am going in towards my destiny. I'm my own destiny. My destiny is unfolding, and it was even with the 12 year career it led me to this point. So I'm not discounting my past. But, you know, I think if I could tell any woman out there anything, it would be trust your inner knowing it knows it knows what to do and and trust it, have faith and just step forward. And that's lovely and so important, because we're not taught that when we're young. We're not taught that, I know I grew up like, oh, you know, so and so started their own business, but you know, now they're in the poor house, or, you know, Oh, it's too risky, or just all these things about venturing out, and so it kind of makes you afraid, and it makes you too cautious. And we're not taught to just say, Well, what? What is your inner self saying? What?
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What is your heart saying? Yeah, everyone's different, everyone.
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And it's funny about the intuition too, because I never, I always knew I was kind of intuitive, but now that I'm really looking at it, I'm I think a lot of us are very intuitive, and we just don't even realize it. Like sometimes I was saying to someone, I'll say something to a friend, I'll ask a question, or I'll say something, and it's exactly what they needed to bring up, what they need to bring up, and I don't even know I'm doing it. So I think a lot of times, if you get in touch with that intuition, you'll realize, oh, it's there already. I'm just not, you know, fully conscious that I'm doing it. Yeah, I was gonna say, you know, as I sort of started to listen to my intuition more and realize that life coaching was a part of my future. And. Was such a surprise. You know, actually, I originally wanted to be a psychologist, so I had all these. I mean, I have almost enough credits to be a psychologist, you know, from college and so, so it was crazy.
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It combined all these, like elements of, you know, I asking powerful questions from my TV job and psychology and supporting people and really helping people. And so it's exciting to watch people like transform their lives and like in front of me, and to be able to support them. And one of the things I recognized is that I wanted to make my messes my message, and so for me, I knew that I wanted to specifically coach on money, because I had made a lot of money mistakes throughout my, you know, young life, from my 20s into my 30s, and I knew that I wanted to help, take what I learned and help other women, because at the end of the day, you can listen to your intuition, but if you can't afford to support your dreams, you know, or ask for the money or get capital, or, you know, then you'll you will have a challenge. So for me, it's I love teaching, not only to listen to your intuition, but how do we get the means and the funds to support you through that journey?
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I love the practicality of that, and we all need that. And I just love that you combine those things. It's funny that you said you wanted to be a psychologist, because when you were talking about the changes you saw when you were a producer and interviewing people, and how from the beginning to the end of the interview, it was different.
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And I see how you listen to people, it's not a surprise, like I thought, Oh, she's like a therapist. She's like, you know, you really are. You have that.
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It explains a lot about how you want to help people, because that's always been there. You want to help heal people. It's your thing, you know, it's like and so you're getting closer to who you really are. But I also love that you're helping us with money. Because who doesn't you know money, we're all we're all raised differently, and our parents didn't really know what they were doing. A lot of our parents didn't know what they were doing, and they imprinted us with these things about money. You know, money is the root of all evil and that kind of thing. And very weird, yeah, I would say you're taking it all on.
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Yeah. I mean, we carry with us a lot of thoughts about money that originated from our parents and so, you know, part of what I do as a money life coach specifically, is I help with mindset, because that is a you know, 80% of it is your mindset, what you're thinking, what you're believing about money, about your ability to access money, about your ability to create money and handle money.
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You know, a lot of women and society in general, you know the belief that women or girls are bad at math, they're bad at money, they're bad at numbers. I mean, I have literally people come in and say, I'm bad at money. I'm I don't know. I'm not even good at looking at numbers, right? So there's that, there's a sort of societal belief that if you're female, you're not as good at finances. And the truth is, we get a lot of our financial advice or insights from men. You know, there needs to be more women who are speaking openly about money.
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Also, you know, we have beliefs like I said, from our parents.
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You know, part of my job as a money Life Coach is to help you heal some of that and recognize how that is holding you back.
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But I'm also somebody who supports forward thinking. What are some strategies you can do?
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What are new thoughts you can think? How can you rewire your brain to see abundance around you, to begin to bring wealth into your life? And also just actual strategies like, money is a skill. Anybody can learn it, so it's just a matter of learning it. And so what I do is I use all my money, messes and mistakes, and I have come up with lessons and disciplines to help people from the bottom all the way up to the top. And it's a skill. I love that you said that it's neutral, right?
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It's a skill, yeah, if you can, if you can get to that place where you're just going to use it, you know, in a neutral, clear way, instead of bringing all this garbage, I know we all have some baggage that we bring to it. I love that. Yeah, you know, before we we got on this interview, you said that money is neutral. And I think that's one thing that we should be sharing with whoever's listening here, is to just remind them that money is neutral. I know it sounds scary, like when you look at your bank account, maybe you have $34 in there, and you're like, oh my gosh, you know, right? You could give yourself meaning to that.
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Holy smokes, I only have $34 in here. And you can be terrified.
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You can feel a lot of things and have a lot of thoughts. Somebody else could look at it just see the number 34 you know, right?
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Or somebody else could look at it be like, Oh my gosh, I have$34 that's a lot of money. So it's really incredible that we're the ones who bring meaning to money, and I actually am somebody who doesn't believe debt is necessarily the worst thing in the world. Now I, you know, I believe that if you're using debt to leverage your business or to help you bring more income, that's amazing. But again, if you have debt, let's say you're, you know, your net worth is. Negative $80,000 at the end of the day. That's just a number. What do you want to do about it? You know what I mean?
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And just reminding you like it's just a number, and it's not, it's just your present moment.
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It doesn't mean it's going to be your future. Oh, I love that. So you just sort of disentangle from the feeling, because I know there's a lot of shame when people carry debt, it's like, I'm a failure. I have this debt. So there's that shame you don't want to I know Debbie talks about that. Debbie Weiss talks about her financial difficulties in her past, very honestly in her book, and she says the shame kept me from revealing it. You know, it was something I carried and something that was a secret. And I think that just makes everything worse when we're secretive about it. Oh, 100% so actually, how I started to realize I wanted to help with money was the shame, actually, because I was carrying it with me for so long, and then I started to write it down and in a journal, and then I started thinking, Well, what if I actually shared my messes with people so they felt less alone.
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So I began to start telling my story like in public speaking, Oh, good. And people would come up to me and be like, Oh my gosh, I know exactly what that's like. And you know, you just reminded me of a story where the shame the money shame, well, where I became first aware of the impact of money. I think we all have these moments in our life, money, moments where we never where we never forget, like and it was my I was a little kid, and it was my first time that I became really aware of the power of money. So just to give you a little story, my mother and my family when I was growing up, we grew up in Dallas, Texas, very nice and a nice ranch house, you know, three, four bedroom house. We had nice Christmases. It was just like we just lived a normal middle class life. And then my mother decided she wanted to divorce my dad and I was in like fifth grade, and I'm not going to go into all of it, but we lived in a very dangerous household, and so my mother was essentially like trying to flee from my father to protect us, children and herself, and She put money secretly in a separate bank account savings. And she was like, we have to get out of here. We have to, like, secretly leave. And that must have been so hard. It was really terrifying and and you were so young. I was young. I was in fifth grade, and I remember helping her pack the movers were there, we're putting all our stuff away, and she had saved enough money for us to be able to to leave, and we did. And I remember driving off, and I was like, looked in the rear view, you know, back behind me at our house. And little did I know that was going to be the end of my secure middle class existence. You know, it was suddenly like we went from a two income family, right? My mom and my dad, who were able to maintain that lifestyle, and then my mom leaves my dad, and she becomes a single mother who's supporting two kids. And suddenly we were, we were pro, you know, poor, we were broke.
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It was like it like it felt like it happened overnight, really.
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And my mother just really struggled. But see, the thing was, I, now, I look back on it, she was willing to pay the price, you know, like, for her freedom for our freedom, for our protection. And it was such a brave thing she did that day, but it did cost her something, right? And I remember we lived in this little rental house that had, like, no furniture in it.
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And, you know, people from the church would like have to bring us food because we didn't have enough food. And suddenly I was like, Okay, so our life is really suddenly shifted. And a memory I have when I first felt money shame was, I remember we went to the grocery store and we filled up the cart full of food.
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We pulled up, you know, the cashier runs it, and I don't remember what form of payment it was. All I know is it got rejected. And they were like, Yeah, ma'am, I'm so sorry, but your payment is no good here.
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And then the manager came over to try to fix it. And unfortunately, whatever the situation was, it wasn't working. She couldn't pay for the groceries and and I remember we had to walk away, like leave the groceries behind, and a that was the first time I knew Okay, so money can just not be there for you.
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Whoa. And there's some stuff to unpack. There too. That always upsets me when I think about how dependent, even though your mother worked, she was dependent on your father, and she had to make that huge decision for all of you and pay the price.
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Because, you know, we're raised, at least back then, women were raised to, you know, you get married and you either stay at home or you work. A lot of women stayed at home and put their eggs in that basket, and then if things don't work out, it's just crazy, right? That that's built into our society. Even now, I know I was just talking to my husband. I know a few women who had who had their lives blown up by divorces because they chose to stay home and take care of their children, and it didn't work out. So it's just so difficult for me to hear this story, and for you to learn that lesson so young that it was so hard for your mother that it shouldn't disturbing that the structure's still there that we you know, we're raised, it's upsetting to see the price that she had to pay and that and that you had to have that realization so young. So my mother actually was a career woman. She made more money than my dad, but that wasn't the issue she I found out later she was paying for two houses. She had to pay for the mortgage of the other house while our rental house. It was like it was a nasty divorce, I don't know all the nightmare. So I was very, I was very shielded from, like, what was actually going on, but so she was paying for two homes.
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:33.019
I still look back on that and, like, How did my mom do all this?
00:31:33.980 --> 00:32:55.539
Did she, yeah, and she, and she should have just kicked your dad out, but I guess you wouldn't go, yeah. I don't want to go too far into that, but we had to leave it. I'm so sorry, no, but that's hell. But your mother was amazing. Is amazing? She She really did some amazing superhero stuff. And I look back at that and I realize, and I've been thinking more about, like, Why do I like what I do or love what I do? And I thought, Oh, my mom had enough savings to be able to leap and do something. And I realized the ability for women to have access to money, to save money, to have a safety net, to have the means to fund their dreams or leave a situation or make a shift that is so vitally important, like women feeling empowered with money and their ability to make choices, it expands your choices. That's really where it does modern day equality comes with economic equality for women, really. So that's so powerful that you look back and understand that, that your mother was, you know, able to to fund her own she changed our lives, you guys, yeah, that she had the guts and the the ability, that's pretty amazing.
00:32:55.539 --> 00:33:55.480
And so, yeah, it's really important. I remember reading some statistics, and I just, I should have known this, but I was shocked. The sooner a woman gets married and the sooner she has a baby, the worse her economic outcomes are. And if she just waits a little bit and gets an education, it's just night and day, you know where she is, like 510, years down the road. I wish we could teach young girls even, even more strongly. You know, like, this is worth doing. You know, don't get all caught up in the you know, I'm in love and I'm going to get married, if you just wait a little bit and take care of yourself. You know, your economic future is so much stronger. Like, duh. I remember reading it and saying, there it is in black and white. But my God, I didn't realize it was that drastic, right? You really did pay a price sometimes, as a woman, for jumping into relationships or having a baby before you're really solvent.
00:33:56.380 --> 00:35:25.099
Well, that, you know, it's interesting. I think no matter what it whether you have a baby or get married early. It's just learning the skill, going back to that, learning the skill of money. You weren't taught it in school. So I do feel this very much, this need to raise women's self worth and net worth and make them aware of like this is what you do. These are the steps you can change your life financially. Most of us aren't taught that. So whether or not you have a kid or get married early or do it later in life, those skills all can be learned, and then the mindset of it, that you are worthy of wealth, that you can bring money into your life, that is all within your reach, no matter your circumstances. I love that, yes, because we're we were taught that it was for other people, like, literally, my my aunt said the rich are different from you and me, and it's not like we were poor. But she just said, you know, the rich, like fair, somewhere in the stratosphere, are different from you and me, meaning we would never get there and we wouldn't understand, which is absurd, but anyway, oh well, the money doesn't grow on trees, right? We get that a lot too, which is so funny, because money is actually paper. So I just find this so ironic. It's just printed. But yeah, I just my mother freed us, and money enabled her to take a leap. And it's crazy. She had to hide the money, though, that's the crazy part, right?
00:35:25.280 --> 00:37:37.519
It was still hard. I mean, my God, because she had to pay for two Oh, my God, so crazy. Yeah, she had to hide the money. But going back to that story, I tell that story not only to emphasize my mother as being a superhero, which I now she's going to have to listen to this podcast, but she is. But the fact that that was the moment I became aware that money has it's complicated and I and a belief that I still, you know, work through, is the belief that it's not always there for you, right? Because that, right? That was the moment it got wiped away. You know, it's like I went from really comfortable to suddenly we can't pay for groceries. And what was interesting is I kind of maybe subconsciously embedded this feeling and that thought in my head, and then as I grew up, what happened was that money would be there for me, and I would make lots of it, and then it would suddenly not be there for me. And then I would have these dips. So I call it the feast or famine cycle of lots of money coming my way and then no money, and then lots of money coming my way and no money. And so what ended up happening was I would hit, you know, some, I hit a couple Financial Rock bottoms, and I, I remember one where it was like, actually, right around the pandemic time, and I had made all the most money I'd ever made the year before. I mean, it was six figures, and I had never made that much before, and then suddenly we were at zero, you know. And I remember being like, okay, so I'm really sick of being on this feast or famine cycle. And I didn't realize how deep it went. It did go back to my childhood, the feeling of security, and then insecurity, security and insecurity. And I had one of those, you know, moments again, where the I call them, the i I'm done, moments where I was sitting on the beach, um, the pandemic had just started. I was struggling financially. I didn't see any prospects in sight. And I, at this point, I had been kind of worn down by my career already.
00:37:37.760 --> 00:38:04.559
I was like, All right, I feel really stuck. So I felt stuck in a career. I didn't like I felt broke and I felt broken all at the same time. And I remember sitting on the beach, it was winter time, and I just there was a lighthouse in front, like in the distance. And I just, again, I pray to the universe, God, Spirit, whatever you want to call it. And it was like I was looking at the lighthouse, and I was like, Help Help me.
00:38:04.860 --> 00:38:28.639
Help me stop going through this feast and famine cycle. Help me stop being broke. Help me stop feeling broken and stuck. Help I need help. I don't ever want to feel broke ever again. And of course, God did not speak back.
00:38:22.880 --> 00:39:46.840
I heard no I heard no voice. And I realized, you know, nobody's coming to save me. I was going to have to, I was going to have to take action and change my life. It was either I was going to keep doing what I was doing or I was going to change it. And then that was the moment where I stood up. I literally stood up, drew a line in the sand in front of myself and said, Okay, I'm done. This is me telling God the universe myself, that I am done living like this, and that I will do everything in my power to learn about money and change my life. I want to be rich. I want to be wealthy. And the next three years were really rough, and I learned everything. I learned so much about money, and now I went from somebody stuck on a beach feeling broken, broken and stuck, to I'm somebody who is sharing my money mistakes, my money messes, to help other women empower them, and I'm building a seven figure business, slowly but surely. I'm somebody who definitely believes I'm worthy of wealth, that I can build a wealthy business, helping women get wealthy, doing what they love. It's perfect. I love it. What could be better? And there's also that lovely idea that we can all be wealthy, like, there's, there's there's that that also weird shame, kind of you know, money's dirty. I don't want to talk about money.
00:39:44.440 --> 00:39:50.380
I don't want to. No, I don't want money. Yeah, you do? You want wealth? You want abundance.
00:39:50.440 --> 00:41:22.639
It's okay, right? It's okay. The podcast class I took that started all this, Kathy Heller worked a lot with mindset, and she said, I want all I know I want comp. Here the wealthy woman club, you know, she goes, I want company. I want all women to feel abundance in their life, not just money, right? Abundance of all sorts, but it's okay to want money. It's okay to be wealthy. It's okay to be generous, you know, and be able to give whoever you want to work to, to any charity you want to be, you know, balanced and happy and wealthy and yay, you right, like, and you're teaching other people, like, it's okay, yeah, I would say, you know, the desire to want to be wealthy is a human desire. Because ultimately, what you're saying is, I desire to have everything I need and want to live up to my fullest potential. That's really how I interpret wealth. I interpret that. And yes, you need the funds to support whatever that is, whether that's starting a podcast and being able to buy a microphone or, you know, being able to buy a website so you can share what you do. You know, at the end of the day, what I see wealthy as is just having access and resources and having everything you need, everything you desire, to just live your life the way that you deeply believe you are destined to live. And I know that most of us, deep down, know we were destined for more than mediocre, because I do believe everybody has something, a purpose that they can fulfill.
00:41:23.059 --> 00:42:11.400
And, you know, one thing I want to say is, don't let your past dictate your future. You know, I could have been the kid or the young woman who still believe that I'm stuck in a broken and broken and I have to be paycheck to paycheck, and I have to stay like this. I have to let fear keep dictating my life. You can decide I am actually worthy of wealth, and I am willing to open myself up to learn about money, to learn the skill and to change my life one step at a time. And you know, that's what I'm doing, like I help one of my clients pay off $27,000 in debt to get a new home. She was living with her. She was living with her parents, with $27,000 in debt, with so much fantastic and feeling like a hot money mess.
00:42:08.099 --> 00:43:37.460
She she had a little boy and a husband, and she was just struggling. And, you know, we got to the heart of it, we got to the mindset, we got to the strategy. And I watched her have her, I'm done moment right, where she drew the line in the sand and she did the work. And, you know, I think, really, for anybody out there, the first step is the mindset. It is believing you are worthy of wealth. And for most of us, we've heard so many messages like you said, you know that it's a root of all evil, or it doesn't grow on trees, or what, what? There are other people, right? The rich people are other people. Well, it can be you, it can be you. And, yeah, you know, I, I lead a workshop called worthy of wealth, and I want to share with something with you, which is, I think the number one thought that is holding most people back. Oh, great. And it is this. It is the belief that you are not enough and that there is not enough, that is, I would say, the one thought, one belief that affects your entire financial life, that's so powerful in many, many ways. A lot of us are struggling with that, not enough, 100% think about, if you will, deeply believed I'm enough, just as I am, how that changes everything that changes how you spend your money, right?
00:43:33.920 --> 00:43:41.079
Because, going back to what you said earlier about fear, right, that you had mentioned Lynne.
00:43:41.079 --> 00:43:44.139
You know that fear, that fear of, oh, we gotta wear deodorant.
00:43:44.139 --> 00:43:57.159
We gotta, you know, women have this fear, and I think that ultimately comes from the belief or not enough, just as we are so right and not good enough.
00:43:53.860 --> 00:44:16.980
That's one of the, I forget where I saw it, but it was one of the meditations, one of the, one of the affirmations that were recommended for especially for women. You know, every day, just wake up and say, I am enough. I have enough. The universe will provide. I'm fine the way I am. I'm enough. And it was just sort of radical to me.
00:44:16.980 --> 00:44:23.119
It's like, Yeah, we really don't, deep down, believe that we are. That's so powerful.
00:44:19.440 --> 00:44:33.800
Whitney, I think that really is the crux it is. I started to realize that as the number one thought that holds people back, because comes out of that you're so right, so much comes out of that.
00:44:35.420 --> 00:44:37.940
Because, okay, so the belief that you're not enough, right?
00:44:38.900 --> 00:44:59.500
If you're walking around thinking you're not enough, then what do you do? You spend your money on things that'll hopefully help you, make you feel enough, right? So, fancy perfume, the makeup, the hair, I don't know, a car, a house, a huge mansion, because you have to let the whole entire universe know that you're enough.
00:44:59.800 --> 00:45:11.820
So. See, I'm enough, yeah, and also for me, it was apologizing very often, you know, sort of always being sorry and making up to people and, you know, because I'm just not good enough, right?
00:45:12.059 --> 00:45:43.539
When I was younger, I was so wimpy, I was it was just always, you know, giving in to other people and trying to, you know, fit in, and apologizing way too much. I think a lot of women apologize way too much. I agree with stuff they didn't even do. We're sorry for our even ourselves existing. I'm sorry, you know, I'm sorry my legs are on the subway a little, you know, they, they actually did a study where men sit take up more space, but we have to be small.
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:58.059
So I think that is part of like teaching women that they are worthy of wealth is saying I am enough. Like, if I if I could teach one single thing to women everywhere, it's you are enough, just as you are right now. You have enough to do whatever you're wanting to do right now.
00:45:58.119 --> 00:46:44.920
You There are resources in front of you. Maybe you haven't noticed them yet, because you're so focused on the lack that you begin this is true that when you begin to shift to there is enough. Everything I need is right in front of me. I'm enough. You begin to see opportunities and resources that were always in front of you that you didn't see before. And I've also heard that the universe will give you whatever you're focusing on. So if you're focusing on lack, if you're living in lack and focusing on lack and believing that's your reality, you're going to get more lack, because that's all the universe knows how to do, or whatever universe, or higher self, or whatever. I even heard something recently that kind of flipped me out the way this was said. It was somebody said, I don't want. How did they say it?
00:46:44.920 --> 00:47:14.760
I want, oh, I want more money. I want more money. And the person, it was a channeled message, but it's a very fun Channeler, and he said, if you say I want more money, the universe will always keep you in that state, it will make it true. You will always want more money. You have to say, I'm grateful for having abundance. I'm grateful for having more money. You have to be in that space like you said.
00:47:10.739 --> 00:47:58.239
You have to get out of the stuck and start seeing more so if you say you want more money, or someday or what you know you're making that distance between you and the money. There's a spiritual, like sort of piece to this where you're going to just continue that wanting, instead of having, like, right now in the present. And I was like, well, that's weird, but in on some level, it just rang true to me. Oh, absolutely. And I say the you know, one thing that I do is help people a lot with their mindset, because you're carrying just so many old beliefs and limiting beliefs. And if you've been broke and struggling financially for a long time and not necessarily broke, maybe you're doing pretty all right.
00:47:58.239 --> 00:48:22.760
But you know you could, you know you you have bigger dreams for yourself, or it's just always a struggle, or, you know, it's just hard, like, if money's just hard for you, there are some thoughts that you are having that are causing you to feel that way, and that's where the money mindset part of it comes into it's such a huge part of it. What are you thinking? What your thoughts have led you here.
00:48:19.559 --> 00:48:25.880
So what are your faiths? Are you holding? Right?
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:44.139
That's so crucial. That's so important. So you're you get down to the brass tax. And I love that. I love that about what you do. So is there anything else that you'd like to share with us and make sure that you I'm going to put in the show notes how to get in touch with you. But can you tell us how to get in touch with you, or anything you'd like our listeners to know?
00:48:44.380 --> 00:49:48.940
So I guess I The biggest takeaway is, I hope that whoever's listening can remind themselves that they are enough, exactly where they are, that I am enough, and even just saying that to yourself over and over again as often as possible will begin to shift something inside of you. So I would say that's one of the biggest takeaways that I hope that people carry with them. And yeah, they can find me on my website, Whitney and ellis.com and with an E, so w, H, I T, anyway, a N, N, E, L, S, E, L, L, i s.com I'm also an on Instagram under the same name, Whitney Ann Ellis, and yeah, I'm running a worthy of wealth workshop. It'll always be available. If you miss the date to join, there will be replay opportunities. And it's really about upgrading your mindset, because that is the first step in money transformation. Because even when you do, like the good money habits, and you work on it, and they don't stick, part of the problem is your mindset.
00:49:45.519 --> 00:50:02.820
So you got to get the mindset in sync with the strategy and the tactics of getting your financial shift together, as I like to say, so that you can so you can find your dreams and worry less and do whatever you can dream up. Because, like.
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:16.019
Life, it can be amazing. And the moment you decide you're done living it, if you're unhappy with your life, that is the moment that you get to step into transformation. So I think you're going to inspire tons of people when they hear this. I can't thank you enough for sharing.
00:50:13.500 --> 00:50:16.019
This is great info.
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Thank you so much, Len for having me. It was a joy, and I'm so glad we met in person. Me too,
