My wife Lisa naps for 13, 17, and 21 minute intervals.
Not 10, not 15, not 20.
But, it took me 20 years to learn this.
I saw her set an alarm on her phone for one of her power naps one day earlier this year, and I asked her:
You nap for 17 minutes?
…and that’s when she told me her cute quirk.
Our spouses are interesting humans
What happens though, over time, is that we stop believing our spouses are interesting!
When Lisa and I were first married, we took the 5 Love Languages assessment.
Lisa tested “Acts of Service” as her top love language. (BTW, If you don’t know the 5 love languages, they are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch).
As she’s grown and changed over the years, ‘Quality Time’ has become more important for her, and ‘Acts of Service’ not as much. (I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of Physical Touch as my top love language though!😁)So, two things here.
Be curious!
Don’t assume that you know everything about your spouse.
They’re unique, interesting, funny, quirky, individuals. Return back to those dating days when you were learning about each other and you thought they were worth learning about!
Stop assuming you know your spouse so well.
Has your spouse ever tried to finish your sentence — and then they were completely wrong?
Eric Barker, in his book ‘Plays Well With Others’ says we humans think we’re better at reading people than we really are.
In reality though, even the best of us are only right about 34% of the time. That means your assumptions about your spouse could be very wrong.
And another thing— You’re not the same people you were when you stood at the altar on your wedding day! You have BOTH grown and changed over time.
Discovering new things about your spouse is simple if you take the time to do it:
✴️ Ask questions.
✴️ Be more curious.
✴️ Stop making assumptions.
