Who Is your Spouse?

Lisa: [00:00:00] Hey everybody, it's Lisa Gray with the Stupendous Marriage Podcast. I am going solo this week, Stu is not here, but I did want to take a minute and talk about a lesson that I have learned over the years. Many years ago, we were actually about to start hosting a small group that was for marriages in our church.

And our pastors thought, , we need to equip them with some tools to be able to help. With things that may come up during the small group. And so they sent us to see a counselor and the first thing he said is he goes, Lisa, so who are you? First and foremost, if somebody asks you, and I said, well, I'm God's kid.

Then the counselor looks at Stu and says, well, who is he? And I was like, oh, well that guy, that's my husband. And he said, no, first and foremost, he is also God's kid. And how differently would you as a wife respond to your husband if you could think of him as first and foremost as God's kid versus your husband who may have just done something to frustrate [00:01:00] you or annoy you?

And I had this light bulb go off. I was like, Oh my gosh, I never would have realized that what that means. And what that translates into is sometimes as a wife, I can offer him grace. . As his sister in Christ more than I can as his wife or as his co parent or as his roommate or any of those things, Because there's gonna be things that he's gonna do because he's a different person than me That's gonna aggravate me or frustrate me or hurt my feelings but what if instead of responding from that role of being his wife his Roommate his co parent if I respond and go hey Something may be going on here with my brother in Christ.

What if I think about it that way? What if I pray for him as a sister in Christ to be able to work through whatever may be going on? And it just offers us a different perspective as wives. Because I think oftentimes we get tunnel vision. At least I do, , I get in the moment [00:02:00] I get in my own mood. I get in the own stressors that are going on with work or with the kids or whatever may be happening.

And I forget that my husband sometimes needs me to stand with him, to pray with him because he also has all those things going on too. And it is not easy for me sometimes as a, roommate to be able to pray for him because he's in a funky mood and he didn't do the things that he said he was going to do today in the house.

But what if instead I can get into the role as his sister in Christ and say, you know what, I don't know what's going on and why he wasn't able to do these things that he said he was going to do around the house today. But I'm going to pray for him that whatever's going on, that the Lord would move and that the Lord would help him through it.

Not purely for motivation of him to then doing the housework, but because I love him and I love him so much as my brother in Christ. I want the best for him. I want him [00:03:00] to. Not be in the ditch dealing with whatever he may be dealing with in this moment. And so the other piece to that is also as women, as wives, you know, when we get married, two becomes one.

And as his wife, I have a special authority that nobody else in his life has, his mom, his grandma, his sister, his friends. They don't have the authority I have as his wife to be able to sometimes stand in the gap for him and say, All right, enemy, whatever you're trying to do to my husband, you need to be gone in Jesus name.

Because as his wife, I have an authority like no other. And there's often times in our home where there may be something going on and I feel like there's warfare happening. I feel like he's under attack. And I will literally walk back into our bathroom or into our closet and I will start praying for him.

And I will start lifting him up as his wife and say, I am taking the authority that God has given me as his wife.[00:04:00] And I'm going to lift him up. The enemy must be gone in Jesus name. You have no authority over him. Lord show up in a supernatural way to help him through whatever may be going on. And when that happens, nine times out of 10, by the time I walk out of the bathroom, the atmosphere in his heart, in our home has changed.

And so ladies, especially, and husbands, it's the same thing goes for you. You know, you have a special authority as our husbands. To be able to pray for us in a way that nobody else in our lives can. So those are kind of encouraging words I have this week, , marriage can be difficult and it can be hard because we are two people who have our own stuff going on.

But the fact is it is so worth pushing through and trying to have the most stupendous marriage you can. So hopefully Stu will be back with me next week and I hope you guys have a great day. Bye!