June 25, 2024
Surf the urge
Ever feel like you're at the mercy of cravings?
In this episode, I'm diving into how to conquer those intense cravings for alcohol, sex, food… you name it! Drawing from the works of Judson Brewer and Holly Whitaker, I'll introduce you to the RASINS acronym. We’ll walk through each step together, so grab your notepad and let's ride this wave!
Plus, I’ll share a sneak peek of Tara Brach's RAIN method and a heartwarming Cherokee parable about balancing our inner wolves.
Tune in for tips that make cravings less scary and more manageable!
Are you ready to drink 95% less in 30 days without committing to the nevers, forevers, and always so you can have more time and freedom to create a life that you love? Fill out this brief application to schedule a free 30-minute call.
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Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:08.853
Who here has a hard time saying no to a craving, that intense feeling that we get in our mind and our body saying, I want the thing that I want right now.
00:00:09.134 --> 00:00:11.560
Like Veruca's salt from Willy Wonka.
00:00:11.869 --> 00:00:23.969
Well, in today's episode, I will teach you how to surf the urge, how to ride the wave of a craving so it can be more easeful and skillful, and you don't have to be afraid of cravings.
00:00:24.129 --> 00:00:25.239
See you in today's episode.
00:00:49.026 --> 00:00:49.816
Let's dive right in.
00:00:49.826 --> 00:00:57.265
Who here has had a craving, a craving for alcohol or sex or intimacy or food or sweets, or just connection.
00:00:57.396 --> 00:00:58.975
We have all had a craving.
00:00:59.026 --> 00:01:03.515
It's that intense and urgent desire or longing for something.
00:01:03.805 --> 00:01:05.296
And it sends off.
00:01:05.536 --> 00:01:09.266
All of these feelings in our body, all of these thoughts within our brain.
00:01:09.495 --> 00:01:24.266
And in today's episode, we are going to talk about how we can surf this urge, how we can ride the wave of a craving and not give into it and use it as a beautiful opportunity for us to stretch and grow and learn more about ourselves.
00:01:24.475 --> 00:01:28.805
To explain this first acronym, I'm using the work of Judson Brewer and Holly Whitaker.
00:01:29.105 --> 00:01:35.240
Judson Brewer is an MD, PhD, and his work is in the field of habit change and the science of self mastery.
00:01:35.521 --> 00:01:38.722
I'm also going to reference the work of Holly Whitaker.
00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:45.900
She created, and is the author of the book, Quit Like a Woman, the radical choice not to drink in a culture obsessed with alcohol.
00:01:46.240 --> 00:01:51.881
So I'm going to marry both of their work to share with you the first acronym, which is RASINS.
00:01:51.921 --> 00:01:54.010
R A S I N S.
00:01:54.715 --> 00:02:13.973
And I'm going to go through each one of these letters, and I would love for you to pull out your notes on your phone or write this down somewhere, because when we need a tool, we aren't going to run back and shuffle through our library podcast to try to, first off, remember which podcast spoke about this.
00:02:14.438 --> 00:02:21.609
And then if we do find it, then go to the episode, open it up and fast forward it to the part that is meaningful to us.
00:02:22.038 --> 00:02:34.205
So I highly suggest and invite you to stop what you're doing, grab a notepad, grab the note section in your phone and write down the acronym R A S I N S.
00:02:35.061 --> 00:02:38.198
And we will walk through each step of the way.
00:02:38.480 --> 00:02:49.112
If you want to put this on a notepad, you can have it in your bathroom, in the kitchen, on your refrigerator, in your car, in your wallet, anywhere where you'll be able to see it easily.
00:02:49.133 --> 00:02:52.728
When you have a craving, this will help you walk through it.
00:02:52.944 --> 00:02:59.907
And with practice, it will be so easy and you'll become so skillful at it that a craving will no longer scare you.
00:02:59.937 --> 00:03:07.969
You actually will love a craving because you know, you aren't going to D I E if you have one and you know will come and go quickly.
00:03:08.139 --> 00:03:09.530
So let's dive right in.
00:03:09.659 --> 00:03:12.837
So the R of RASINS stands for recognize.
00:03:13.008 --> 00:03:17.948
The first thing we're going to do when we have a craving is recognize that we're having a craving.
00:03:18.277 --> 00:03:19.698
We're going to say it out loud.
00:03:20.187 --> 00:03:25.807
We're going to say, dang, I have a craving for a drink right now, or I have a craving for a donut right now.
00:03:26.038 --> 00:03:28.837
I am experiencing a craving, right?
00:03:28.837 --> 00:03:38.574
It sounds so simple, but typically we're going about our lives and we have these big sensations, these big feelings in our body, this big draw or longing for something.
00:03:38.766 --> 00:03:42.078
And we don't even take the moment to recognize that it's happening.
00:03:42.487 --> 00:03:47.288
We let our lives play out instead of being the choreographer of our life.
00:03:48.087 --> 00:03:50.657
Next, what we're going to do is allow.
00:03:51.478 --> 00:03:54.737
So step two is allow the craving to be there.
00:03:54.978 --> 00:03:59.897
And this is counterintuitive because usually we want to just push the craving aside or just give into it, right?
00:03:59.897 --> 00:04:01.828
Because typically cravings don't feel great.
00:04:01.837 --> 00:04:04.788
That desire and longing doesn't feel good in the body.
00:04:05.108 --> 00:04:16.488
We want to itch the scratch if you will, but we're going to be big girls here and we're going to put our big girl pants on and we are going to allow for the craving to exist without pushing it away and without giving into it.
00:04:16.709 --> 00:04:17.519
Step number three.
00:04:17.718 --> 00:04:20.149
We are going to set aside the story.
00:04:20.858 --> 00:04:22.689
This is extremely important.
00:04:22.999 --> 00:04:26.069
Because what stories do you think come up when we have a craving?
00:04:26.649 --> 00:04:29.189
The stories of, I have no willpower.
00:04:29.428 --> 00:04:30.649
I knew this was going to happen.
00:04:30.649 --> 00:04:31.619
I'm so weak.
00:04:32.019 --> 00:04:35.899
Whatever the struggle or lie is, will come in at this moment.
00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:38.439
We are going to set aside that story.
00:04:38.999 --> 00:04:43.598
Because when we attach the story to it, we sit within the craving.
00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:46.649
It will heighten and it will not dissipate.
00:04:46.658 --> 00:04:48.428
It will get bigger and bigger and bigger.
00:04:49.139 --> 00:04:50.798
So we are going to set aside the story.
00:04:50.798 --> 00:04:55.973
So if the story comes up, like I have no willpower, that is the thing that we are going to move to the side.
00:04:56.264 --> 00:05:01.653
That is the thing that we are going to step over because the story is the thing that will keep you stuck.
00:05:01.723 --> 00:05:05.064
The story is what keeps you living in the past and inhibits growth.
00:05:05.653 --> 00:05:16.334
So we're going to set it aside, set aside whatever story is wrapped up in this craving, and then we're going to move on to investigate, the I in Rasin.
00:05:16.634 --> 00:05:20.374
Investigate what is happening in your body when you have this craving.
00:05:20.524 --> 00:05:22.653
Because remember, our mind and body are connected.
00:05:22.723 --> 00:05:24.624
We so often forget that in medicine.
00:05:25.468 --> 00:05:32.649
In Western medicine, they like to look at them as separate parts, but no, our mind and bodies are connected and the body is telling you something.
00:05:32.908 --> 00:05:37.228
It gives us extremely valuable information if we pay attention.
00:05:37.319 --> 00:05:39.798
So feel into where the craving is in the body.
00:05:40.543 --> 00:05:42.033
Is it in the jaw area?
00:05:43.244 --> 00:05:44.423
Are you getting headaches?
00:05:45.713 --> 00:05:54.134
Do you get blurred vision or tightening in the heart space area or, or this flipping around in your stomach or like a knot in your stomach?
00:05:54.283 --> 00:05:55.884
Just notice it and feel it.
00:05:56.093 --> 00:05:59.934
And then step number five is you're going to name the sensation.
00:06:00.053 --> 00:06:06.264
So grab a pen and paper when you have the sensation, because it can be really important to take note of this.
00:06:06.584 --> 00:06:08.434
But if you don't have that around, no worries.
00:06:08.463 --> 00:06:09.723
Just put it in your head.
00:06:10.074 --> 00:06:12.564
Is you are going to name the sensation.
00:06:12.673 --> 00:06:15.874
My jaw feels tight right now when I'm craving alcohol.
00:06:16.254 --> 00:06:18.684
My jaw feels tight right now when I'm craving sugar.
00:06:19.903 --> 00:06:23.374
I'm distracted and I can't concentrate when I'm craving sugar.
00:06:24.504 --> 00:06:30.314
I'm irritated and the irritation is manifesting as a headache in my body when I want alcohol.
00:06:30.774 --> 00:06:32.603
Name the sensation and write it down.
00:06:33.069 --> 00:06:35.689
Writing it down can kind of get us out of our head.
00:06:35.949 --> 00:06:42.108
That's why it's so important because then we can just do stream of consciousness where we're just kind of writing down what's coming through.
00:06:43.228 --> 00:06:47.709
And it's also so good to take note of what's happening.
00:06:47.709 --> 00:06:52.636
Cause typically it's going to be the same thing that happens later, or it's happened in the past.
00:06:52.836 --> 00:06:55.625
So you can start recognizing what the patterns are.
00:06:55.675 --> 00:06:57.115
So those will be your red flags.
00:06:57.115 --> 00:07:00.096
If you're having it, you're like, Oh, I know what's about to happen here.
00:07:00.206 --> 00:07:02.326
And now we'll move on to step number six.
00:07:02.326 --> 00:07:04.836
And this is the part where you surf the craving.
00:07:04.846 --> 00:07:09.276
You surf the urge, you ride the wave, you ride the sensation.
00:07:09.565 --> 00:07:12.605
So the sensation will be in your body.
00:07:12.915 --> 00:07:26.937
So I have a craving and it's within my chest area and that craving will intensify and it will get larger and bigger and that desire and longing will peak and then you'll notice it will dissipate.
00:07:28.237 --> 00:07:31.516
I even recommend you timing this out because you'll notice.
00:07:31.971 --> 00:07:44.732
That the first time it may take a little bit longer for it to dissipate, the next time it doesn't take quite as long, but eventually you're able to surf the urge, ride the wave pretty quickly, really well.
00:07:45.242 --> 00:07:56.985
You'll become really proficient at it where you won't need any of these other parts, where you don't need to grab your pen and paper, you won't have to have the acronym on your wall because you've practiced so much how to ride this wave.
00:07:57.473 --> 00:07:58.930
That you become really good at it.
00:07:59.180 --> 00:08:07.420
And we learn so much faster through being aware and pushing and leaning into the discomfort that we have.
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.490
When we can stretch ourselves and stay present in the stretch.
00:08:12.891 --> 00:08:14.740
That's where the true learning occurs.
00:08:14.740 --> 00:08:18.389
That's where those neural networks are laid and get stronger and stronger.
00:08:18.499 --> 00:08:24.059
And when we recognize that we don't die, even though we're uncomfortable, this is true growth.
00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:25.538
This is so important.
00:08:25.538 --> 00:08:28.197
This helps us settle our nervous system.
00:08:28.237 --> 00:08:30.596
It helps us feel safer in our bodies.
00:08:30.867 --> 00:08:35.966
And this is when we become really skilled at not drinking or not giving into other urges and cravings.
00:08:37.496 --> 00:08:39.476
You've become really skilled at drinking, right?
00:08:39.476 --> 00:08:43.567
We need to learn these skills of not drinking, of not giving into urges and cravings.
00:08:44.006 --> 00:08:50.504
And another shorter acronym that I would love to share, mainly because I absolutely love Tara Brach.
00:08:50.524 --> 00:08:55.703
If you don't know who she is, she blends Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices.
00:08:55.714 --> 00:08:57.443
She has a podcast of her own.
00:08:57.453 --> 00:09:02.817
She hosts talks and meditations on her podcast that will break your heart wide open.
00:09:02.826 --> 00:09:04.826
At least they break my heart wide open.
00:09:05.192 --> 00:09:06.907
I absolutely adore her.
00:09:07.356 --> 00:09:12.246
She has a meditation based on her acronym RAIN, R A I N.
00:09:12.587 --> 00:09:22.293
I have a meditation that I've created that's adapted from the RAIN meditation and the RAIN acronym that I'll share as a bonus on Thursday.
00:09:22.293 --> 00:09:28.964
So the same week that this podcast episode is out, there'll be a meditation popping up as a bonus.
00:09:29.553 --> 00:09:30.933
So keep an eye out for that.
00:09:31.083 --> 00:09:37.759
But the acronym that she uses, RAIN, Is to bring mindfulness and compassion to difficult emotions.
00:09:38.820 --> 00:09:47.062
So the R stands for recognize, the A stands for allow, the I stands for investigate, and the N stands for nurture.
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.690
So the recognizing, recognizing that we're having a craving or an emotion.
00:09:53.139 --> 00:09:56.750
Naming that emotion, allowing that emotion to be there.
00:09:56.750 --> 00:10:01.139
So not pushing it away, investigating where that emotion lies in our body.
00:10:01.389 --> 00:10:11.600
And then she has this end for nurture because she says, giving loving light around that feeling around that emotion.
00:10:12.110 --> 00:10:23.975
And so what we do is we transmute the feeling through love and tenderness and care, instead of ignoring it, we allow it to be there and be present.
00:10:23.995 --> 00:10:31.134
And when we do that, then it dissipates on its own by just giving it that attention and love that it wants and desires.
00:10:31.434 --> 00:10:35.205
And this reminds me of this Cherokee parable about two wolves.
00:10:36.330 --> 00:10:41.279
And there are two endings to this parable, so I'll share both with you.
00:10:41.509 --> 00:10:52.505
So, first off, it's this grandson talking to his grandfather, and his grandfather is telling him, Grandson, there are two wolves at war inside of you.
00:10:53.125 --> 00:11:00.826
One of them is a dark wolf, and he's full of rage, and anger, and shame, and hatred.
00:11:01.166 --> 00:11:09.669
And there's another wolf, a light wolf inside of you, who is full of love and happiness and joy and connection and peace.
00:11:10.860 --> 00:11:14.789
And the grandson says, well, which one wins granddad?
00:11:15.110 --> 00:11:18.240
And the granddad replies, the one you feed.
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:24.470
The second ending to this parable says, well, granddad, which one wins?
00:11:24.779 --> 00:11:26.570
And he says, both of them.
00:11:27.090 --> 00:11:28.429
You feed both of them.
00:11:29.514 --> 00:11:42.590
Because if you don't feed the dark wolf, he will always be lurking behind the corners, in the darkness, waiting for you to be weak and feeble, and then he'll pounce.
00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:47.769
But if you feed both of them, they will both be happy because they will both be seen.
00:11:47.950 --> 00:11:50.450
As always, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
00:11:50.490 --> 00:11:56.500
Please share this or go to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts and give me a five star review.
00:11:56.929 --> 00:11:59.049
This way it will get in front of more people.
00:11:59.460 --> 00:12:00.399
I will see you next time.
00:12:04.647 --> 00:12:08.687
Do you think that moderation or mindful drinking is the gold standard?
00:12:08.726 --> 00:12:14.557
Well, and next week's episode, I am going to talk about the five moderation myth busters.
00:12:14.567 --> 00:12:16.356
So join me there.
00:12:16.386 --> 00:12:21.216
If you are ever thinking about if moderation is for you, see you then.
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:08.853
Who here has a hard time saying no to a craving, that intense feeling that we get in our mind and our body saying, I want the thing that I want right now.
00:00:09.134 --> 00:00:11.560
Like Veruca's salt from Willy Wonka.
00:00:11.869 --> 00:00:23.969
Well, in today's episode, I will teach you how to surf the urge, how to ride the wave of a craving so it can be more easeful and skillful, and you don't have to be afraid of cravings.
00:00:24.129 --> 00:00:25.239
See you in today's episode.
00:00:49.026 --> 00:00:49.816
Let's dive right in.
00:00:49.826 --> 00:00:57.265
Who here has had a craving, a craving for alcohol or sex or intimacy or food or sweets, or just connection.
00:00:57.396 --> 00:00:58.975
We have all had a craving.
00:00:59.026 --> 00:01:03.515
It's that intense and urgent desire or longing for something.
00:01:03.805 --> 00:01:05.296
And it sends off.
00:01:05.536 --> 00:01:09.266
All of these feelings in our body, all of these thoughts within our brain.
00:01:09.495 --> 00:01:24.266
And in today's episode, we are going to talk about how we can surf this urge, how we can ride the wave of a craving and not give into it and use it as a beautiful opportunity for us to stretch and grow and learn more about ourselves.
00:01:24.475 --> 00:01:28.805
To explain this first acronym, I'm using the work of Judson Brewer and Holly Whitaker.
00:01:29.105 --> 00:01:35.240
Judson Brewer is an MD, PhD, and his work is in the field of habit change and the science of self mastery.
00:01:35.521 --> 00:01:38.722
I'm also going to reference the work of Holly Whitaker.
00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:45.900
She created, and is the author of the book, Quit Like a Woman, the radical choice not to drink in a culture obsessed with alcohol.
00:01:46.240 --> 00:01:51.881
So I'm going to marry both of their work to share with you the first acronym, which is RASINS.
00:01:51.921 --> 00:01:54.010
R A S I N S.
00:01:54.715 --> 00:02:13.973
And I'm going to go through each one of these letters, and I would love for you to pull out your notes on your phone or write this down somewhere, because when we need a tool, we aren't going to run back and shuffle through our library podcast to try to, first off, remember which podcast spoke about this.
00:02:14.438 --> 00:02:21.609
And then if we do find it, then go to the episode, open it up and fast forward it to the part that is meaningful to us.
00:02:22.038 --> 00:02:34.205
So I highly suggest and invite you to stop what you're doing, grab a notepad, grab the note section in your phone and write down the acronym R A S I N S.
00:02:35.061 --> 00:02:38.198
And we will walk through each step of the way.
00:02:38.480 --> 00:02:49.112
If you want to put this on a notepad, you can have it in your bathroom, in the kitchen, on your refrigerator, in your car, in your wallet, anywhere where you'll be able to see it easily.
00:02:49.133 --> 00:02:52.728
When you have a craving, this will help you walk through it.
00:02:52.944 --> 00:02:59.907
And with practice, it will be so easy and you'll become so skillful at it that a craving will no longer scare you.
00:02:59.937 --> 00:03:07.969
You actually will love a craving because you know, you aren't going to D I E if you have one and you know will come and go quickly.
00:03:08.139 --> 00:03:09.530
So let's dive right in.
00:03:09.659 --> 00:03:12.837
So the R of RASINS stands for recognize.
00:03:13.008 --> 00:03:17.948
The first thing we're going to do when we have a craving is recognize that we're having a craving.
00:03:18.277 --> 00:03:19.698
We're going to say it out loud.
00:03:20.187 --> 00:03:25.807
We're going to say, dang, I have a craving for a drink right now, or I have a craving for a donut right now.
00:03:26.038 --> 00:03:28.837
I am experiencing a craving, right?
00:03:28.837 --> 00:03:38.574
It sounds so simple, but typically we're going about our lives and we have these big sensations, these big feelings in our body, this big draw or longing for something.
00:03:38.766 --> 00:03:42.078
And we don't even take the moment to recognize that it's happening.
00:03:42.487 --> 00:03:47.288
We let our lives play out instead of being the choreographer of our life.
00:03:48.087 --> 00:03:50.657
Next, what we're going to do is allow.
00:03:51.478 --> 00:03:54.737
So step two is allow the craving to be there.
00:03:54.978 --> 00:03:59.897
And this is counterintuitive because usually we want to just push the craving aside or just give into it, right?
00:03:59.897 --> 00:04:01.828
Because typically cravings don't feel great.
00:04:01.837 --> 00:04:04.788
That desire and longing doesn't feel good in the body.
00:04:05.108 --> 00:04:16.488
We want to itch the scratch if you will, but we're going to be big girls here and we're going to put our big girl pants on and we are going to allow for the craving to exist without pushing it away and without giving into it.
00:04:16.709 --> 00:04:17.519
Step number three.
00:04:17.718 --> 00:04:20.149
We are going to set aside the story.
00:04:20.858 --> 00:04:22.689
This is extremely important.
00:04:22.999 --> 00:04:26.069
Because what stories do you think come up when we have a craving?
00:04:26.649 --> 00:04:29.189
The stories of, I have no willpower.
00:04:29.428 --> 00:04:30.649
I knew this was going to happen.
00:04:30.649 --> 00:04:31.619
I'm so weak.
00:04:32.019 --> 00:04:35.899
Whatever the struggle or lie is, will come in at this moment.
00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:38.439
We are going to set aside that story.
00:04:38.999 --> 00:04:43.598
Because when we attach the story to it, we sit within the craving.
00:04:44.199 --> 00:04:46.649
It will heighten and it will not dissipate.
00:04:46.658 --> 00:04:48.428
It will get bigger and bigger and bigger.
00:04:49.139 --> 00:04:50.798
So we are going to set aside the story.
00:04:50.798 --> 00:04:55.973
So if the story comes up, like I have no willpower, that is the thing that we are going to move to the side.
00:04:56.264 --> 00:05:01.653
That is the thing that we are going to step over because the story is the thing that will keep you stuck.
00:05:01.723 --> 00:05:05.064
The story is what keeps you living in the past and inhibits growth.
00:05:05.653 --> 00:05:16.334
So we're going to set it aside, set aside whatever story is wrapped up in this craving, and then we're going to move on to investigate, the I in Rasin.
00:05:16.634 --> 00:05:20.374
Investigate what is happening in your body when you have this craving.
00:05:20.524 --> 00:05:22.653
Because remember, our mind and body are connected.
00:05:22.723 --> 00:05:24.624
We so often forget that in medicine.
00:05:25.468 --> 00:05:32.649
In Western medicine, they like to look at them as separate parts, but no, our mind and bodies are connected and the body is telling you something.
00:05:32.908 --> 00:05:37.228
It gives us extremely valuable information if we pay attention.
00:05:37.319 --> 00:05:39.798
So feel into where the craving is in the body.
00:05:40.543 --> 00:05:42.033
Is it in the jaw area?
00:05:43.244 --> 00:05:44.423
Are you getting headaches?
00:05:45.713 --> 00:05:54.134
Do you get blurred vision or tightening in the heart space area or, or this flipping around in your stomach or like a knot in your stomach?
00:05:54.283 --> 00:05:55.884
Just notice it and feel it.
00:05:56.093 --> 00:05:59.934
And then step number five is you're going to name the sensation.
00:06:00.053 --> 00:06:06.264
So grab a pen and paper when you have the sensation, because it can be really important to take note of this.
00:06:06.584 --> 00:06:08.434
But if you don't have that around, no worries.
00:06:08.463 --> 00:06:09.723
Just put it in your head.
00:06:10.074 --> 00:06:12.564
Is you are going to name the sensation.
00:06:12.673 --> 00:06:15.874
My jaw feels tight right now when I'm craving alcohol.
00:06:16.254 --> 00:06:18.684
My jaw feels tight right now when I'm craving sugar.
00:06:19.903 --> 00:06:23.374
I'm distracted and I can't concentrate when I'm craving sugar.
00:06:24.504 --> 00:06:30.314
I'm irritated and the irritation is manifesting as a headache in my body when I want alcohol.
00:06:30.774 --> 00:06:32.603
Name the sensation and write it down.
00:06:33.069 --> 00:06:35.689
Writing it down can kind of get us out of our head.
00:06:35.949 --> 00:06:42.108
That's why it's so important because then we can just do stream of consciousness where we're just kind of writing down what's coming through.
00:06:43.228 --> 00:06:47.709
And it's also so good to take note of what's happening.
00:06:47.709 --> 00:06:52.636
Cause typically it's going to be the same thing that happens later, or it's happened in the past.
00:06:52.836 --> 00:06:55.625
So you can start recognizing what the patterns are.
00:06:55.675 --> 00:06:57.115
So those will be your red flags.
00:06:57.115 --> 00:07:00.096
If you're having it, you're like, Oh, I know what's about to happen here.
00:07:00.206 --> 00:07:02.326
And now we'll move on to step number six.
00:07:02.326 --> 00:07:04.836
And this is the part where you surf the craving.
00:07:04.846 --> 00:07:09.276
You surf the urge, you ride the wave, you ride the sensation.
00:07:09.565 --> 00:07:12.605
So the sensation will be in your body.
00:07:12.915 --> 00:07:26.937
So I have a craving and it's within my chest area and that craving will intensify and it will get larger and bigger and that desire and longing will peak and then you'll notice it will dissipate.
00:07:28.237 --> 00:07:31.516
I even recommend you timing this out because you'll notice.
00:07:31.971 --> 00:07:44.732
That the first time it may take a little bit longer for it to dissipate, the next time it doesn't take quite as long, but eventually you're able to surf the urge, ride the wave pretty quickly, really well.
00:07:45.242 --> 00:07:56.985
You'll become really proficient at it where you won't need any of these other parts, where you don't need to grab your pen and paper, you won't have to have the acronym on your wall because you've practiced so much how to ride this wave.
00:07:57.473 --> 00:07:58.930
That you become really good at it.
00:07:59.180 --> 00:08:07.420
And we learn so much faster through being aware and pushing and leaning into the discomfort that we have.
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.490
When we can stretch ourselves and stay present in the stretch.
00:08:12.891 --> 00:08:14.740
That's where the true learning occurs.
00:08:14.740 --> 00:08:18.389
That's where those neural networks are laid and get stronger and stronger.
00:08:18.499 --> 00:08:24.059
And when we recognize that we don't die, even though we're uncomfortable, this is true growth.
00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:25.538
This is so important.
00:08:25.538 --> 00:08:28.197
This helps us settle our nervous system.
00:08:28.237 --> 00:08:30.596
It helps us feel safer in our bodies.
00:08:30.867 --> 00:08:35.966
And this is when we become really skilled at not drinking or not giving into other urges and cravings.
00:08:37.496 --> 00:08:39.476
You've become really skilled at drinking, right?
00:08:39.476 --> 00:08:43.567
We need to learn these skills of not drinking, of not giving into urges and cravings.
00:08:44.006 --> 00:08:50.504
And another shorter acronym that I would love to share, mainly because I absolutely love Tara Brach.
00:08:50.524 --> 00:08:55.703
If you don't know who she is, she blends Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices.
00:08:55.714 --> 00:08:57.443
She has a podcast of her own.
00:08:57.453 --> 00:09:02.817
She hosts talks and meditations on her podcast that will break your heart wide open.
00:09:02.826 --> 00:09:04.826
At least they break my heart wide open.
00:09:05.192 --> 00:09:06.907
I absolutely adore her.
00:09:07.356 --> 00:09:12.246
She has a meditation based on her acronym RAIN, R A I N.
00:09:12.587 --> 00:09:22.293
I have a meditation that I've created that's adapted from the RAIN meditation and the RAIN acronym that I'll share as a bonus on Thursday.
00:09:22.293 --> 00:09:28.964
So the same week that this podcast episode is out, there'll be a meditation popping up as a bonus.
00:09:29.553 --> 00:09:30.933
So keep an eye out for that.
00:09:31.083 --> 00:09:37.759
But the acronym that she uses, RAIN, Is to bring mindfulness and compassion to difficult emotions.
00:09:38.820 --> 00:09:47.062
So the R stands for recognize, the A stands for allow, the I stands for investigate, and the N stands for nurture.
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:52.690
So the recognizing, recognizing that we're having a craving or an emotion.
00:09:53.139 --> 00:09:56.750
Naming that emotion, allowing that emotion to be there.
00:09:56.750 --> 00:10:01.139
So not pushing it away, investigating where that emotion lies in our body.
00:10:01.389 --> 00:10:11.600
And then she has this end for nurture because she says, giving loving light around that feeling around that emotion.
00:10:12.110 --> 00:10:23.975
And so what we do is we transmute the feeling through love and tenderness and care, instead of ignoring it, we allow it to be there and be present.
00:10:23.995 --> 00:10:31.134
And when we do that, then it dissipates on its own by just giving it that attention and love that it wants and desires.
00:10:31.434 --> 00:10:35.205
And this reminds me of this Cherokee parable about two wolves.
00:10:36.330 --> 00:10:41.279
And there are two endings to this parable, so I'll share both with you.
00:10:41.509 --> 00:10:52.505
So, first off, it's this grandson talking to his grandfather, and his grandfather is telling him, Grandson, there are two wolves at war inside of you.
00:10:53.125 --> 00:11:00.826
One of them is a dark wolf, and he's full of rage, and anger, and shame, and hatred.
00:11:01.166 --> 00:11:09.669
And there's another wolf, a light wolf inside of you, who is full of love and happiness and joy and connection and peace.
00:11:10.860 --> 00:11:14.789
And the grandson says, well, which one wins granddad?
00:11:15.110 --> 00:11:18.240
And the granddad replies, the one you feed.
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:24.470
The second ending to this parable says, well, granddad, which one wins?
00:11:24.779 --> 00:11:26.570
And he says, both of them.
00:11:27.090 --> 00:11:28.429
You feed both of them.
00:11:29.514 --> 00:11:42.590
Because if you don't feed the dark wolf, he will always be lurking behind the corners, in the darkness, waiting for you to be weak and feeble, and then he'll pounce.
00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:47.769
But if you feed both of them, they will both be happy because they will both be seen.
00:11:47.950 --> 00:11:50.450
As always, I hope you enjoyed this episode.
00:11:50.490 --> 00:11:56.500
Please share this or go to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts and give me a five star review.
00:11:56.929 --> 00:11:59.049
This way it will get in front of more people.
00:11:59.460 --> 00:12:00.399
I will see you next time.
00:12:04.647 --> 00:12:08.687
Do you think that moderation or mindful drinking is the gold standard?
00:12:08.726 --> 00:12:14.557
Well, and next week's episode, I am going to talk about the five moderation myth busters.
00:12:14.567 --> 00:12:16.356
So join me there.
00:12:16.386 --> 00:12:21.216
If you are ever thinking about if moderation is for you, see you then.
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