April 04, 2024

How to Design the Life You Want w/ Dr. Bo Bennett

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Does designing the life you want feel like a pipe dream to you?

Today's guest, Dr. Bo Bennett shares how it's possible to design the life you want no matter what that looks like. His surprising journey as an entrepreneur will leave you wondering, "Could I do that?"

I'm here to tell you and Dr. Bo agrees, Yes. You. Can!

We examined how to define personal success by carving out a niche that resonates deeply with our aspirations.

Bo, with a background that includes social psychology and entrepreneurship, sheds light on his philosophy of humanism and how it guides his approach to life. His insights on starting a podcast driven by his passion for public speaking are a testament to the value of creating content that's true to oneself, all while fostering genuine connections.

This episode is more than just another interview; it's a masterclass in stepping out of your comfort zone. We discussed the early struggles that come with starting a podcast and acknowledged the pivotal shift required to truly resonate with our audience.

To conclude, Bo imparts some seasoned podcasting wisdom, focusing on the delicate balance of aligning your work with the expectations of your listeners and your own creative spark.

So if you're struggling to maintain a balance between your passion and giving your audience what they love, do not miss this episode.

Follow this podcast for more insight, tools, and strategies in podcasting. Also, please support the show by becoming a member. Thanks.

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Chapters

00:00 - Podcasting for Success

09:03 - Navigating Uncomfortable Conversations in Society

20:33 - Gratitude and Podcasting Tips

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00,119 --> 00:00:06,213
Keep that in mind, who you're podcasting to what your listeners want to hear, but also what you want to say, and make sure that there's a match.

00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:22,376
My guest today is social psychologist, entrepreneur, author, producer, humorous programmer and Dr Bo Bennett.

00:00:22,376 --> 00:00:23,585
Welcome Bo.

00:00:24,381 --> 00:00:25,466
Thank you, it's good to be here.

00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:26,861
Yes, for sure.

00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:31,393
All right, before we get into what you do, could you tell us who is Bo Bennett?

00:00:32,301 --> 00:00:35,289
Sure, well, you pretty much covered it, at least the summary part of it.

00:00:35,289 --> 00:00:38,930
I do a lot of different things in addition to business.

00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:49,475
I'm a father, husband and I enjoy I enjoy uh, exercise and uh just just being outside a lot.

00:00:49,475 --> 00:00:50,883
That's pretty much me.

00:00:50,883 --> 00:01:10,323
But uh, in, in terms of work and what I do, I, um, I've been working my own businesses ever since I was like in college, actually even before, like in grade school I never had a quote real job and I love it that way.

00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:37,585
And in the past I guess 20 years after I sold my first company of significant value I've been doing things that I really love doing, that I want to do business related like programming, creating different businesses and websites, doing podcasts I started a few different podcasts, writing books and actually went back to school to get my PhD in social psychology, so that was a lot of work too.

00:01:38,628 --> 00:01:40,411
Yeah, I bet All right.

00:01:40,411 --> 00:01:53,430
So this wasn't one of my planned questions, but it just dawned on me when you're talking about not ever working for anyone, and this idea came to you while you were still in school.

00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:56,608
What was the motivation?

00:01:58,301 --> 00:02:02,932
Well, my parents were both independently employed, if you want to call it that.

00:02:02,932 --> 00:02:06,483
My father was an inventor, so he always worked from our basement.

00:02:06,483 --> 00:02:18,491
So I didn't know anything different and it was really odd to me when I went over my friend's house and they said, oh, my father's at work, what do you mean? He's at work, where does he go? My dad works, he works in the basement.

00:02:18,491 --> 00:02:22,241
So it was kind of an alien concept to me.

00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:28,054
But it was something that I grew up with and I really loved the idea.

00:02:28,054 --> 00:02:39,812
I liked how my father had that kind of freedom and I got to spend so much time with him a little too much time actually but I thought that that would be great for my kids and it was.

00:02:39,812 --> 00:02:42,169
It was great for me as well, so I really enjoyed it.

00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,403
Okay, all right, good, thank you.

00:02:44,403 --> 00:02:48,031
I'm always intrigued by that insight.

00:02:48,031 --> 00:02:58,300
All right, so I'm going through we met on Podmatch and I'm going through your profile and I see a couple of words that I'm not really sure I understand.

00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,667
So the first one is humanist.

00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:03,986
What is that? Can you explain what a humanist is?

00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:05,632
Sure, humanists.

00:03:05,632 --> 00:03:14,801
What is that? Can you explain what a humanist is? Sure, Basically it's a philosophy.

00:03:14,801 --> 00:03:16,967
Some call it a religion, but it's kind of like a non-religion religion, if that makes sense.

00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:19,312
There's no supernatural, there are no beings or anything.

00:03:19,312 --> 00:03:30,375
It's just basically the idea that humanity is what's most important and that's what we need to focus on, like in this life, focusing on humanity.

00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:38,633
That would be the, that's the basis, the foundation of humanism, and that's what I like ascribe to.

00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:49,314
However, I've noted before that the American form of humanism has gotten very political and I don't like that.

00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:58,164
I really like just to keep things simple and I don't want to be bundled in with a bunch of political beliefs that I don't really subscribe to.

00:03:58,164 --> 00:04:01,391
So I'm not a fan of the label.

00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:06,151
However, at the core I still am am very much a humanist.

00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:08,123
Okay, all right, thank you.

00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,568
Thank you for explaining that.

00:04:09,568 --> 00:04:19,293
And you mentioned selling a business, a successful business, and you meant you're a podcaster as well.

00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:20,920
Yes.

00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,069
Yeah, I can talk about that as well.

00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:26,444
Yes, I'd love for you to mention, to talk about that as well.

00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:33,273
So, having I know you had your parents as examples, but you've had your own success.

00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,315
What does that success mean to you?

00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,206
my company, my first company of significant value was in 2004.

00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:49,408
And the first chapter was all about define success.

00:04:49,408 --> 00:04:58,831
What does success mean to you? And it's the importance of you have to define it yourself, because if you don't, you never know what you're actually going to go for, what you're trying to get, and you're not going to know when you actually have it.

00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:04,288
So it's important to really define it and what it means for you personally.

00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:07,502
For me it basically meant on the financial side.

00:05:07,502 --> 00:05:15,470
It meant kind of financial freedom, not having to worry about money, being able to do the things I want to do because I want to do them.

00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:22,177
And I realized too that just like lying on the beach or or fooling around, like that's not what I wanted to do.

00:05:22,177 --> 00:05:33,442
I really wanted to contribute, I wanted to build, I wanted to create, and fortunately those kinds of services usually reflect in some kind of income as well.

00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:36,307
So I was able to keep that financial freedom.

00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:47,706
And then the personal side of it it it meant, besides doing, what I really like is just having good relationships in my life, and I focus on that as well.

00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:49,444
Okay, All right.

00:05:49,444 --> 00:05:52,889
Yeah, it helps to know to define your own success.

00:05:52,889 --> 00:06:01,713
Otherwise you get a little confused when someone is pushing their success agenda on you, right?

00:06:02,214 --> 00:06:02,774
Sure yeah.

00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:06,750
Yeah, okay, all right, so tell us about your podcast.

00:06:08,461 --> 00:06:17,499
Well, currently I don't have any podcasts, but I started podcasting I think it was back in 2010.

00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:44,406
It was it was really early on and my years are getting a little confused when I actually started this, but I was involved in an organization called Toastmasters International and it's all about public speaking, if you're familiar with that, and I wanted to, well, do more of that, basically do more public speaking and I found out about this thing called podcasting and it was really cool how you could have like your own radio show over the internet and I just thought that was the best idea.

00:06:44,406 --> 00:07:04,168
So I started, with a friend of mine, a podcast for our local Toastmasters club and then I made it just kind of like our state, so in the state of Massachusetts, I covered like all the area clubs and news and information, and then it really took off.

00:07:04,168 --> 00:07:11,067
So I proposed it to Toastmasters International, the international organization, and they loved the idea.

00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:15,584
So we became the official podcast of Toastmasters International.

00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:23,545
So we transferred all the rights over to them and I ran that podcast for probably about eight years.

00:07:23,545 --> 00:07:25,110
It's still going now.

00:07:25,591 --> 00:07:28,504
Um, however, I'm not a host, even though my picture is still on there.

00:07:28,504 --> 00:07:33,988
The the current host never got a chance to update the icon but I haven't done it in a few years.

00:07:33,988 --> 00:07:42,447
But that was like a really successful podcast that took off and it's been going on for over a decade an episode a week about.

00:07:43,168 --> 00:07:50,564
Yeah, and then in addition to that, I've done a lot of other small little podcasts that I just kind of lost interest.

00:07:50,564 --> 00:07:55,668
They didn't pick up the steam, and you know how it is Like if you have the feeling that nobody's listening.

00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:58,343
You kind of get bored, so you stop doing it.

00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:05,293
All right, okay, so let's get into a little bit about podcasting.

00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:15,093
I know it's not your main thing right now, but I always like to get a feel for why you started the podcast.

00:08:15,093 --> 00:08:32,559
I know what the topic was, but why did you feel that that was the media to go to use, and what are some of the challenges you face while you were, you know, starting and growing that podcast? Sure?

00:08:33,384 --> 00:08:35,653
Well, I'll talk about the Toastmasters podcast first.

00:08:35,653 --> 00:08:38,844
I mentioned how I just really wanted to talk.

00:08:38,844 --> 00:08:43,683
I wanted to practice public speaking and that was a good way to do it and I really enjoyed.

00:08:43,683 --> 00:08:51,240
Well, my co-host and I we were like best friends, so I really enjoyed speaking with him and just chatting and it was a lot of fun.

00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:57,764
So here was an opportunity to possibly get compensated for talking to my best friend about things we enjoy talking about.

00:08:57,764 --> 00:09:02,600
So how could you go wrong? So that was one of the main reasons for starting it.

00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:38,809
One of the challenges we had is kind of funny and when we were creating the podcast and writing the episodes and talking about things, we were, I guess, like alienating a lot of the audience because we didn't really define our niche, like we didn't really define our voice, like what are we going to be? Who are we going to cater to? And it turned out like initially, my friend Ryan and I we were just talking, like we talked to each other, joking around and laughing.

00:09:38,809 --> 00:09:53,985
We were having a great time and, granted, there was a tiny segment of our audience who absolutely loved it, right, but the majority of them just really wanted some like information, kind of more serious information on Toastmasters International.

00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:56,009
They wanted tips on public speaking.

00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:59,697
They wanted something, basically, that we weren't providing them.

00:10:00,264 --> 00:10:03,712
So that was one of the lessons we learned early on.

00:10:03,712 --> 00:10:09,857
It's that we really have to understand our audience and what they want and then kind of cater to them.

00:10:09,857 --> 00:10:18,918
So when we actually did transfer the rights over to Toastmasters International, we took a different direction and it became more of a serious podcast.

00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:24,557
You know, every now and then we'll throw in a little humor, but the organization, they didn't really like that that much.

00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:31,729
They just wanted us to stay on target and do some kind of serious interviews, and so that's what we did and that's why I like.

00:10:31,729 --> 00:10:36,818
Frankly, that's why I got bored and it wasn't for me, so that's why I stepped out.

00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:40,735
It wasn't fun anymore, right? Yeah, yeah.

00:10:40,735 --> 00:11:05,729
My co-hosts, the ones doing it now, but we're trying to serve others as well, and so we have to know how to create that balance so that we don't scare away our audience, right? Sure, yeah, yeah, okay, all right.

00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:07,793
So you had this question.

00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:11,580
What is so important about uncomfortable ideas?

00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:16,255
All right, one of the books I wrote is uncomfortable ideas.

00:11:16,645 --> 00:11:17,025
Okay.

00:11:17,506 --> 00:11:30,513
And I wrote that book because I was discovering that conversation was changing in a way that more topics were becoming taboo.

00:11:30,513 --> 00:11:36,525
And that was kind of odd to me, given becoming taboo.

00:11:36,525 --> 00:11:37,990
And that was kind of odd to me, given, like, how we progress as a society.

00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:46,878
You would think that the things that you can't talk about, like in the 1950s and 1960s, you could talk about them now and communication was more open.

00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:52,254
But I discovered well, I really discovered, I realized that it was going the wrong way.

00:11:53,157 --> 00:11:59,331
And there were more and more of these uncomfortable ideas that people didn't want to talk about.

00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:11,259
They were things that people didn't want to say out loud, and if you did say them out loud then you were like socially penalized for doing that.

00:12:11,259 --> 00:12:19,888
So I wanted to write a book from a psychological perspective, about, like why you know why this happens.

00:12:19,888 --> 00:13:15,716
What are uncomfortable ideas? What categories do they fall in? Why do we avoid them? What happens if we do? What happens if we don't? And my recommendations basically are is and not to avoid uncomfortable ideas, but to be open to them, to talk about them, and then also kind of draw that line between, uh, the difference between an uncomfortable idea and like a totally inappropriate conversation or like something that you wouldn't have with a certain people in a certain situation, and then also, uh, I kind of delineate between the idea of like an uncomfortable idea and honestly talking and discussing, like academically especially, an uncomfortable idea versus a kind of an excuse just to um, talk about or get out your like hatred or or bigotry or uh, whatever.

00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:17,788
You know there's a difference with that too.

00:13:17,788 --> 00:13:26,115
So I wanted to really write all about that from a um, from a psychological perspective and outline that, and that's what the book's about.

00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:26,876
It's a.

00:13:26,876 --> 00:13:27,586
It's a lot of fun.

00:13:27,626 --> 00:13:43,201
And I even tell people in the book like, uh, you're going to be offended, like absolutely, because I didn't write the, because I didn't write the book from a certain religious, political or sociological perspective.

00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:45,273
I did all perspectives.

00:13:45,273 --> 00:13:51,298
So I threw out ideas from, like, all different beliefs and walks of life that may be uncomfortable to people.

00:13:51,298 --> 00:14:00,573
So I usually get the responses and I get comments and feedback Say, oh Beau, I loved your book, it was great, but you know what, I didn't quite agree with you when you said this.

00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:11,596
Or there's always something, yeah, and I tried to make it clear too Like these aren't my ideas, these are just ideas that are uncomfortable, that you should think about.

00:14:11,596 --> 00:14:14,774
So people don't usually listen to that too.

00:14:14,774 --> 00:14:16,772
They just kind of take it personally, yeah.

00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,610
It's a shame really.

00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:23,596
The other day I was thinking about when I was growing up as a college student.

00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:29,315
Debate was one of the big things, and not necessarily about politics, but about everything.

00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:32,927
And somebody would shoot off their mat and say something and we'd all debate.

00:14:32,927 --> 00:14:37,717
There was no fight and we hugged and kissed and drank beer after we were done.

00:14:37,717 --> 00:14:41,432
But nowadays it's a lot more.

00:14:41,432 --> 00:14:46,413
What's the word I'm looking for? Violent, isn't it? Discussions, yeah, yeah.

00:14:48,005 --> 00:15:02,562
It's unfortunate too, because people appear to have stronger identities, personal identities, and they attach their identities to their religious, their political or their sociological beliefs.

00:15:02,562 --> 00:15:14,860
And when they do that, if you're questioning a belief, then it's like you're questioning them and you're attacking them personally.

00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:20,894
That's how they feel, but that's not the way it is and it's not the way it should be.

00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:37,418
If you're attacking, like, a specific belief or you have ideas against a certain belief, then you should make that clear and the person should kind of detach themselves from that belief and just look at the belief and understand like look, I am not that belief.

00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:41,774
I happen to hold that belief, I happen to have that belief, but I am not that belief.

00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,091
That belief is separate from me.

00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:56,547
And if you go into debate or argumentation or even just a good conversation with somebody with that mindset, you're going to be much better off and much more open-minded to get rid of that belief.

00:15:56,547 --> 00:16:02,590
Disassociate that belief or idea with you if you are convinced that it's not a good idea.

00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:20,775
But that's the problem when it's part of you, when you see that belief and idea as part of you, it is virtually impossible to say that's not a good idea or that's wrong, because you're essentially saying you're not a good idea and you're wrong and people don't like to do that.

00:16:21,585 --> 00:16:37,506
Yeah, I know, and do you think that, and forgive me for misinterpreting what the term humanist means do you think that it's because we're not viewing each other as human beings anymore?

00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:40,211
Well, that's part of it.

00:16:40,311 --> 00:16:55,971
I mean, there are ideas in psychology where we dehumanize other people and we do that by calling them animals or associating them with animals, and that's a common way to do it.

00:16:56,011 --> 00:17:02,416
But there's other ways and when we do that, of course, yeah, we don't see each other as human beings.

00:17:02,764 --> 00:17:25,896
But I guess one of the core philosophies of humanism basically and I even go beyond humanism to an idea called centriocentrism which basically is you respect like all forms of life in proportion to how sentient that form of life is or is likely to be.

00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:32,103
Since we can't really directly detect the sentience of every form of life, we have a pretty good idea.

00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:49,199
For example, we know that pigs are incredibly intelligent and incredibly sentient beings as opposed to like a chicken, which is like far down the ladder and we could tell from like their cognitive activity and other factors.

00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:56,138
So it's clear and like a fish too, and then like a worm, and there's a certain hierarchy.

00:17:56,138 --> 00:18:15,796
But to respect and see like all life as something that's important and something that's meaningful, because we give meaning to it, then when you do that and you see other human beings as sort of like the top of the ladder in terms of that life.

00:18:15,796 --> 00:18:20,472
Then you do start treating people differently and you see as like you're all connected.

00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,617
Okay, all right, thank you.

00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:30,940
I am enjoying this conversation, but tell us how you help your clients and how we can get in touch with you.

00:18:32,202 --> 00:18:34,446
Sure, yeah, I've got two websites.

00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:48,586
One is Archieboycom, that's my business website, where you could see a lot of my different businesses, and the other one is my personal website where you can see all of my books, and that's bobennettcom B-O-B-E-N-N-E-T-Tcom.

00:18:49,347 --> 00:18:53,781
And that's where I'm currently, where you currently find my books.

00:18:53,781 --> 00:19:00,878
One website I do want to mention current project that I'm working on that's really exciting, to me at least is called bookbudai.

00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:05,106
That's B-O-O-K-B-U-DAI and that's a website.

00:19:05,106 --> 00:19:12,300
I'm using artificial intelligence to help authors create nonfiction books and publish everything.

00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:20,509
So create like an ebook, a print book and an audio book within a few hours and then have everything published.

00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:36,107
Now what's great about your audience is I'm assuming your audience are people who do podcasting or interesting podcasting which is perfect, because one of the best ways, as you probably know, to really advertise and promote your podcast is to have your name out there.

00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:54,846
Get your name out there and just imagine if you could write a book on your topic like you might write a book on the art of podcasting or something and everybody has a book that they could write on about what they're podcasting about, and then you put your information or contact in your podcast information, podcast information in the book itself.

00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:59,280
You've got like the most incredible business card that you could get out there.

00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,406
You could sell the book, you could even give it away.

00:20:01,406 --> 00:20:09,929
So normally you couldn't do that, because it takes like months and months to write a book, but with BookBudai you could literally do this in a few hours.

00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:17,039
So it's an amazing opportunity and it's cheap too, compared to like paying ghostwriters, and it's so much cheaper.

00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,465
So check it out All right.

00:20:19,465 --> 00:20:20,977
So that's Bookai.

00:20:20,977 --> 00:20:23,842
It's BookBud, bookbudai.

00:20:23,842 --> 00:20:25,944
We'll put that link in the show notes as well.

00:20:25,944 --> 00:20:27,567
Cool, thank you, that's very interesting.

00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:28,209
I like that.

00:20:28,209 --> 00:20:32,288
Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

00:20:32,288 --> 00:20:33,997
Okay, so what's Dr Bo?

00:20:34,057 --> 00:20:34,738
grateful for today.

00:20:34,738 --> 00:20:35,881
I'm grateful for this interview.

00:20:35,881 --> 00:20:37,163
I thank you for it.

00:20:37,163 --> 00:20:38,728
You're welcome.

00:20:38,728 --> 00:20:43,148
The day is young, so I'm sure I'm going to be grateful for other things, but right now I'm grateful for you.

00:20:43,148 --> 00:20:44,210
Thank you for having me on.

00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:44,849
I appreciate it.

00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:46,349
Yeah, thank you for coming.

00:20:46,349 --> 00:20:47,391
I appreciate your time.

00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:52,612
Any parting shots, a piece of advice for a podcast or anything?

00:20:53,972 --> 00:20:58,457
Well, I think one of the things that we discuss is really good it's just define your audience.

00:20:58,457 --> 00:21:14,076
Think about who you're podcasting to and it's always a tricky situation because, like I said, I found out who I was podcasting to and it's always a tricky situation because, like I said, I found out who I was podcasting to and it ended in me getting out of the podcast because it wasn't what I wanted to do.

00:21:14,076 --> 00:21:25,577
So if you can keep that in mind who you're podcasting to, what your listeners want to hear, but also what you want to say and make sure that there's a match, because if there is that match, then it's going to be fantastic.

00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:34,810
But if there's not that match you're talking about something your audience doesn't want to hear, or your audience wants to hear something you don't want to talk about then that's kind of a recipe for failure.

00:21:35,654 --> 00:21:36,676
Yes, thank you.

00:21:36,676 --> 00:21:40,826
Thank you, Dr Bobeni, for coming and talking to us on Tools of the Podcast Trade.

00:21:40,826 --> 00:21:41,648
I appreciate you.

00:21:41,930 --> 00:21:42,612
You bet, thank you.

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