In our recent episode of the Walk in Victory podcast, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Barb Nangle, a boundaries coach, to delve into the intricacies of personal boundaries and their significance in our lives. From her deeply transformative journey to her insights on self-containment, this conversation was nothing short of enlightening. Here's a detailed rundown of our discussion and the key takeaways that can inspire your path to victory.
Barb Nangle on People Pleasing and Boundaries
Barb opened up about her struggles with people-pleasing and how crossing boundaries—whether personal or professional—often leads to feelings of resentment and a lack of self-fulfillment. "Boundaries are significant in every relationship," noted Barb. She highlighted how often we compromise our own needs to meet others' expectations, leading to a cycle of over-giving and eventual resentment.
The Journey to Discovering Healthy Boundaries
Barb shared a pivotal moment in her life when a friendship with a homeless individual led her to therapy, eventually introducing her to Al-Anon and later to Codependence Anonymous (CODA). "I got into Codependence Anonymous and very quickly felt a sense of relief," said Barb. "It was a game-changer for me." Through her recovery journey, Barb discovered the importance of creating healthy boundaries. She learned that these boundaries permeate every aspect of our lives, from professional settings to personal relationships.
Building New Neural Pathways
"I remember in the beginning of my recovery, one day I had a completely different thought," Barb recalled, emphasizing the life-changing impact of creating new neural pathways. This shift in mindset led to an overall improvement in her well-being and personal growth.
The Power of Language and Setting Boundaries
We discussed the science of language and how rephrasing our words can influence our behavior and relationships. "I treat it as an addiction, which is not how other people should treat it," Barb explained when talking about her approach to food issues. She illustrated how changing her language from "I don't eat sugar" to "I have food issues" helped her establish clearer boundaries and prevent invasive questions from others.
Key Takeaways for Setting Boundaries
- Info, Not Ammo: Use information about yourself as a tool for growth, not ammunition to beat yourself up.
- Direct Communication: Practice clear and direct communication to avoid misunderstandings and to maintain healthy relationships.
- Boundaries of Self-Containment: Identify and contain behaviors that need to be controlled, such as gossip or negative self-talk.
- Shift in Language: Understand how changing the way you express your boundaries can change how others respond to you.
- Accept and Change: Recognize what you can and cannot change, and focus your energy on those aspects you can control.
The Importance of Niching Down
As entrepreneurs, Barb stressed the importance of niching down to effectively reach your target audience. "When you market to everybody, you market to nobody," she advised, explaining how specific language helps resonate more deeply with those who truly need your help.
Steps to Take After Reading
- Reflect on Your Boundaries: Take some time to think about areas in your life where you need to set or tighten boundaries.
- Explore Recovery Programs: If you struggle with codependence or other issues, consider exploring 12-step recovery programs.
- Change Your Language: Start using language that clearly communicates your boundaries and keeps you comfortable.
- Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to maintain boundaries, consider reaching out to a coach like Barb Nangle for personalized guidance.
Stay Connected
Before concluding the blog, I'd like to remind you to stay connected with Walk in Victory for more inspiring stories and insights. Follow us on social media, subscribe to our podcast, and never miss an episode filled with valuable life lessons.
"This has been another episode of Walk in Victory Podcast, where we seat you at the feet of the masters," I wrapped up. Until next time, keep walking towards your victory.
