Neurospicy & Mighty: Together, We're Unstoppable

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Welcome back to the Women's Mental Health Podcast.

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I'm Randi.

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And I'm Jess.

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And we're two licensed psychotherapists.

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This is a safe space where we talk about mental health, well being, and strategies for coping with life's challenges.

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And how

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all of this is normal.

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And you are

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not alone.

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Today we're going to talk about the significance of NeuroSpicy as a symbol of resilience, creativity, and pride within the neurodivergent community.

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And we will talk about that, but you can find us and more resources on our website, womensmentalhealthpodcast.

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com.

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Have you ever had these

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thoughts?

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What does NeuroSpicy mean, especially in the context of neurodiversity?

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NeuroSpicy.

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NeuroSpicy.

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How does NeuroSpicy empower individuals within the neurodivergent

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community?

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What are some examples of being NeuroSpicy?

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How can we embrace the concept of NeuroSpicy, and how can it benefit, or how does it benefit the community?

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Do neurodivergent individuals use NeuroSpicy as a source of strength, especially when they're facing, hard life challenges?

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Yeah, I

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was thinking, are we making fun of ourselves?

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is it one of those fun things that, we do?

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I was thinking about that too.

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how can allies and supporters of the neurodivergent community honor and respect the concept of NeuroSpicy?

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And is neuro spicy a widely recognized term, especially in the mental health and neurodivergent community?

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I've used

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it for a while, but yeah, and I think it's gotten popular because of social media and TikTok but it's actually like the number one searched mental health term, in the past year.

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it's very popular coined slang term.

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That's interesting.

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Okay.

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So how can we also help people understand, neuro divergence and being neuro

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spicy.

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And in what ways can we really embrace, like we were talking about being neuro spicy and I think that's kind of like what it is.

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It's about embracing your neuro divergency and letting go of the stigma around it.

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Like you said, kind of playful in a way, but yes, I am this way and I own it.

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So then, here we go.

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How can we integrate the concept of neurospicy into our everyday efforts, in order to support and uplift ourselves and others who are just like us, to normalize

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it?

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Let's dive into that.

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Neurospicy is a term that really celebrates individuals with, unique neurological traits or experiences that diverge from the societal norm.

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So, when we say neurological traits or neurodivergent, what do we mean?

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Different.

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Neurological traits, um, Fuck, I don't know.

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I even forgot what you just said.

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Sorry.

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I was like, wait, I'm answering.

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What was your question again?

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No, no, no, really.

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Okay.

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So, when we say neurodiversity and neurological traits, what do we mean?

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Okay.

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Sorry.

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Cause I like ADHD out of there for a second.

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people who are divergent, their brains are what we would call normal, but we don't want to say normal and not normal because that's kind of like saying

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baseline for what scientists believe is

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normal.

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Is divergent.

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When you're neuro divergent your brain operates different than say other people's.

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Right.

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meaning that there's a lot of different things that fall under neurodivergency,

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So medical disorders, learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, so many things come under this umbrella of being neurodivergent.

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So that's why this term neuro spicy kind of this playful term can be used by so many different people in the mental health and physical health.

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all over the world, the community as a whole.

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And

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I'd like to say my house is very neuro spicy because we have one brain who's dyslexic.

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We have two brains, maybe three that are ADHD, one of those brains is highly anxious.

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Right.

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And so all of that is just neuro divergent.

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And so, in my house, it's very common to walk in and find a cabinet open.

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Yeah.

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With nobody there.

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And you're like, um, what just happened?

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Yeah.

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Who's, what are you guys doing?

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And so we're always going, okay, pick that up.

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Do this.

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It's just little things, but it's being neurodivergent or neurospicy.

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And so why do they call it neurospicy though?

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that's the

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fun thing.

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Because I think it's just like the concept or the idea that really we have this unique strength.

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within ourselves.

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And especially within the neurodiverse community.

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If you know what it's like to be ADHD, or you know what it's like to be on the spectrum you kind of have this playful way to introduce people I think that it shows that it's a strength, like, I'm kind of like all over the place, but it's okay, because I'm neuros.

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The

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way the term actually started because neuro is what we're talking about with the brain, right?

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And then the spicy is, something like a vibrant or flavorful, like your little dance that you all didn't see is very full of life.

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Shimmy, shimmy, shake.

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and I love that, that Spicy is just this pow, this amazing, this yes, and, and just celebrating that your brain works differently, and that's okay.

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Spicy.

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Yeah, cause it's, you would think that spicy, it's hot, it's fun, it's, you know.

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Right.

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I don't know.

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Peppers.

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but that's what I see when I see Neuro Spicy.

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You see these little, shirts that have the Neuro Spicy with the little red pepper on it.

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And you're like, spicy.

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Right.

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And I just think it makes me smile when I hear the word.

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it just makes me laugh and giggle because I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm dancing again.

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I'm like, yeah, I'm spicy.

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spicy pepper.

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Yeah.

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I think that it's just fun to celebrate and not put yourself in a box.

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I think it's great,

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because if you say you're neuro spicy, you also don't have to necessarily call out what you are.

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It's nice to have that nice little term.

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A

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label without a label.

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Exactly, because you don't have to be like, oh, I'm ADHD, OCD, anxiety.

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Right.

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depressed or any

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of that.

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Or I'm dyslexic or I'm, or I have autism or I'm somewhere on the spectrum.

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I'm just neuro spicy.

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Okay.

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So just,

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I think we're all somewhere on the spectrum.

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all of our brains are a little different.

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We're just finding more and more out about it.

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And

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I think that it's great to think that all of us are somewhere on the spectrum, because we really shouldn't be put into a box, that we should think a certain way, we should act a certain way, we should have certain behaviors.

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why should we?

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I think a lot of times we have an especially our history and the past is that we have just labeled So it helps us understand them.

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But then it does a disservice to all the beautiful hues that we can be

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exactly.

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It's the Waldorf school versus, regular brick and mortar school.

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Yeah.

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Or Montessori versus public school, even public school versus private school there's not a one size fit all.

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Yeah.

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For everybody.

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But if you go to

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a public school, a regular brick and mortar public school, they expect it to be that way.

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They want 36 kids to all sit in their chairs and all be, behave for eight hours, hours a day and behave and act the same way.

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Mm-Hmm.

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Which is why we have all these five oh fours.

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And if you need to know what that is, we have a podcast on it.

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Yep.

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But we have all these five oh fours for our kids because they're not that way.

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Right.

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And maybe if we were allowing them more.

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freedom and less structure in that sense, like contain structure, maybe these kids would do better and we wouldn't have to do all of this medication

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and we probably wouldn't be so far behind in learning compared to other countries.

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Exactly.

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I'm just saying.

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All right.

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Well, that was a weird toolbox that we just got off on.

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But it's also important to understand too that a lot of women who are neurodivergent present differently from those of our male counterparts.

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and at different stages in our life too.

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Like Jess and I were both diagnosed late in life.

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Like

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late, I want to say early forties for me.

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Yeah,

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I was 40.

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and because We didn't present as being hyperactive, I always thought of ADHD as being a hyperactive boy, like bouncing off the walls and didn't understand that there was so many other, faucets to it of, girls usually internalize it.

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Yeah, I always

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got mood disorder or anxiety.

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Mm hmm.

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Yeah, and I was told I was anxious my whole life, and I was like, oh, wow, now I don't need to take anxiety medication because I'm on the right medication.

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I'm not anxious all the time.

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This can really impact us as women because if we're underdiagnosed or undiagnosed or, we've been labeled, like we said, and I think also to the label ADHD in a way does a disservice because people think it's, you know, attention when there's so many other levels to it.

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And it's really a neurological disorder.

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when we are impacted by these things, we can isolate ourselves and we, it creates more anxiety or more depression and.

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more misconceptions about this.

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And that makes it really challenging for us to navigate our needs and what can accommodate us as someone who is neurodivergent in a divergent world.

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It's interesting because, being neurodivergent, sometimes it's really hard to navigate social situations, walking into the mom's groups.

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I never felt like I fit in ever.

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Right.

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And it's so interesting because here now I have a more neurodivergent women in my life than I ever have at any point in my life.

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And I think it's because we're all older and we're all being diagnosed right now because a we're looking for it and B our hormones are fluctuating because of perimenopause.

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And so It's easier for us to go, what the hell is

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happening?

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Yeah, I think when you're just older too and you slow down and give yourself a chance to really like analyze who am I and what's happening with my body like, it's easier to find those things that are going on with us.

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That or maybe it's also because when we're young and we do stupid shit, it's because they think we're young.

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Right.

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And if we're doing stupid shit

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when we're Oh, you're just young and dumb.

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Yeah.

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Like, no, Jess and I have talked about our college years and we're like, Holy, how did we survive that?

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we were off the rails.

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if we had been formally diagnosed and on the right medication, Man, we would have been on a, a less strenuous path than what we were.

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we did a lot of risky behavior because we were just like, like our brains.

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my favorite line was always, it sounded like a good idea at the time.

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Right.

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Why did you do that?

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I don't know.

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Sounded like a good idea at the

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time.

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You just, and I used to even have that conversation with myself.

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I don't even know why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling.

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cause I was all over the place.

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All the time.

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Because my brain just functioned differently.

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But in that time, in the 90s or whatever, it wasn't a thing to talk about this or to have feelings about how you were feeling and things.

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So it was just like, you just like sucked it up and dealt with it.

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and they didn't know, it's interesting because my daughter just brought home her report card and she has a 3.

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8 or a 3.

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9.

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I am so amazed.

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I am so amazed because A, she's brilliant, but she's ADHD, oh sorry, she's brilliant and she's ADHD, but because we have her on medication, she is just able to focus and do her work.

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And I was like, wow, I wonder what my grades would have been like, because I had okay grades.

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But I couldn't focus.

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Yeah, see, I was the opposite.

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I was hyper focused on school.

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So I had a 4.

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2 GPA because I was obsessed with that.

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that was my hyper focus.

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But like, everything else, woo! I'm making

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faces at her because I'm like, what?

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She's

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like, what?

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What's that?

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Yeah.

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But then later, the older I got, too, and as my hormones shift, in college I was like, whatever.

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I've always been like, Hey,

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let's go have fun.

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Yeah.

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So what does neurospicy mean in the context of neurodiversity?

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when we're looking at NeuroSpicy, by the way, we have this, really amazing, do you follow the Treasure Valley Weather Guy?

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Uh, yeah.

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So, he uses it all the time, and he's always like, my NeuroSpicy besties! And he's always calling people NeuroSpicy, and calling them, yeah, it is, it's really fun.

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See, again, it's fun! Right.

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And so, what it does, is it, it shows this, creativity that he's using, that he's and the strength to get other people out there.

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Because every time he's doing that, I'm always raising my hand like, I'm here.

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Yeah.

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I'm here.

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Yeah.

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And so it acknowledges this like diverse style and community and it just normalizes it because he is, he's totally ADHD.

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I can.

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Oh yeah, I'm sure.

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Totally.

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That's hilarious.

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And it is.

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It's really fun to watch all of this.

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When we're talking about neurodiversity, Randy, how does using the word neuro spicy, empower us?

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Because it's really promoting self acceptance.

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Like you were just talking about, you're like, that's me.

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I'm here.

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I check all those boxes.

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Well, you know, you are creating like a sense of pride, using that and identifying with that and encouraging yourself and others to celebrate that you are neurologically different.

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And I think that's a great strength.

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Oh, I

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love that right there.

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You just said neurologically different.

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I don't know why that just stood out for me so much because we've been saying it over and over.

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But yeah, you're just Neurologically different.

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Right, and that's good.

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That's great.

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It's fine.

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Yeah, I don't know why we have to think like different is bad.

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Different is good.

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Well, I don't know why we also think that failing is a bad

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thing.

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Right, and we always talk about failing forward because we think that it's learning.

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It's not failing, it's

00:13:48.062 --> 00:13:48.591
learning.

00:13:48.591 --> 00:13:50.650
That's how I learn is, oh, that's not

00:13:50.650 --> 00:13:51.191
what I want to do.

00:13:51.480 --> 00:13:51.770
Oops.

00:13:51.770 --> 00:13:52.341
Let's do that.

00:13:52.760 --> 00:13:56.260
what are some examples of Neuro Spicy in action?

00:13:56.270 --> 00:13:57.770
What does that kind of look like?

00:13:57.900 --> 00:13:59.890
when you did that, she just started dancing again.

00:14:00.051 --> 00:14:01.551
She's in the dancing mood today.

00:14:02.091 --> 00:14:02.841
It's Friday.

00:14:02.870 --> 00:14:04.181
She's like dancing queen over here.

00:14:04.345 --> 00:14:07.884
I think if we use Neuro Spicy, it's more about the creativity.

00:14:08.070 --> 00:14:12.899
artistic expression, allowing us to just be who we are.

00:14:12.909 --> 00:14:13.210
Mm hmm.

00:14:13.220 --> 00:14:15.320
whether or not what was I doing the other day?

00:14:15.629 --> 00:14:28.470
I was at a store and I don't know, I got a little like a happy dance going all by myself and I looked over Oh, I got a happy dance and there was somebody kind of smiling at me because I was just in the middle of Home Depot and I was like doing a little happy dance.

00:14:28.470 --> 00:14:32.419
I got it, but that's just being neuro spicy.

00:14:32.730 --> 00:14:35.840
most people don't dance in the middle of the store, but they should.

00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:36.700
Yeah, exactly.

00:14:36.700 --> 00:14:37.990
I think they really should.

00:14:38.509 --> 00:14:38.799
okay.

00:14:38.799 --> 00:14:39.995
So how can we.

00:14:40.020 --> 00:14:44.740
Really, embrace NeuroSpicy, to help benefit more of us.

00:14:45.418 --> 00:14:57.061
I feel when you embrace this term, that we were talking about, it really gives you a boost of self esteem and a sense of belonging, like we were talking about, the community, and really just that boost of empowerment.

00:14:57.291 --> 00:15:02.581
And so you can feel okay in navigating the world as you are.

00:15:03.306 --> 00:15:10.916
As you may think you should be navigating the world, but just understand that you are navigating it the best of your ability.

00:15:10.956 --> 00:15:23.957
And that's great, and giving yourself a unique perspective on things and learning how to, Advocate for yourself, so that you can get the right accommodations, whether that's like in work or with friends or in a relationship.

00:15:24.008 --> 00:15:27.488
you still need to advocate for who you are and what you need.

00:15:27.498 --> 00:15:29.778
And I think that it gives you that great boost.

00:15:29.778 --> 00:15:31.518
okay, I'm this neurospicy person.

00:15:31.518 --> 00:15:32.238
I can do it.

00:15:32.524 --> 00:15:34.424
I think that it's great, and it does.

00:15:34.534 --> 00:15:35.995
It's fun to say neurospicy.

00:15:35.995 --> 00:15:39.325
Every time I do it, we're both bouncing our head and dancing a little bit.

00:15:39.682 --> 00:15:44.163
I wish we would stop caring what other people thought of us, in general.

00:15:44.332 --> 00:15:45.423
Just who cares?

00:15:46.043 --> 00:15:48.432
Just not care what anybody thinks.

00:15:48.663 --> 00:15:49.072
Yeah.

00:15:49.243 --> 00:15:50.373
D G A F.

00:15:50.493 --> 00:15:50.812
Right?

00:15:51.482 --> 00:15:51.633
Right?

00:15:52.342 --> 00:15:53.082
Exactly.

00:15:53.082 --> 00:15:56.493
And so what if I was in my robe on the front porch picking up my Amazon

00:15:56.493 --> 00:15:56.923
package?

00:15:56.942 --> 00:15:58.163
Oh, I do that every morning.

00:15:58.192 --> 00:15:59.293
So don't mind me.

00:15:59.566 --> 00:16:07.115
That leads into how you can use this as a source of strength, especially when you are facing hard challenges.

00:16:07.518 --> 00:16:11.187
I think if we can make light of it, it isn't making fun of ourselves.

00:16:11.187 --> 00:16:14.327
That's what I was thinking earlier, are we making fun of ourselves?

00:16:14.717 --> 00:16:15.648
I don't think so.

00:16:15.648 --> 00:16:19.738
I think if we can make this not such a big deal.

00:16:20.038 --> 00:16:20.467
Yeah.

00:16:20.567 --> 00:16:22.158
Okay, let's talk about Covid.

00:16:22.217 --> 00:16:27.437
I know we don't wanna talk about Covid but in the very beginning everybody was like, oh God, they have covid.

00:16:27.442 --> 00:16:27.753
Right?

00:16:27.758 --> 00:16:28.008
Right.

00:16:28.008 --> 00:16:29.268
Like it was this big deal.

00:16:29.268 --> 00:16:30.857
Like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

00:16:30.857 --> 00:16:31.158
I have Covid.

00:16:31.187 --> 00:16:33.408
Mm-Hmm And now you're like, eh, I've got Covid.

00:16:33.677 --> 00:16:33.857
Right?

00:16:33.863 --> 00:16:33.913
Yeah.

00:16:34.067 --> 00:16:34.967
Like we've no big.

00:16:35.028 --> 00:16:35.327
Yeah.

00:16:35.388 --> 00:16:37.217
No, it's not that it's not a big deal.

00:16:37.278 --> 00:16:37.607
Yeah.

00:16:37.638 --> 00:16:41.087
But we're not acting as if, you have bubonic plague anymore.

00:16:41.278 --> 00:16:42.447
okay, we're gonna give space.

00:16:42.447 --> 00:16:43.197
I don't want that.

00:16:43.197 --> 00:16:44.097
I hope you feel better.

00:16:44.128 --> 00:16:44.187
Yeah.

00:16:44.187 --> 00:16:45.538
Let me drop something off.

00:16:45.538 --> 00:16:49.802
Before we wouldn't even slow down the car, We're like, I'm going to check it out the window at you.

00:16:49.842 --> 00:16:51.322
Don't breathe anywhere near me.

00:16:51.842 --> 00:16:59.972
But when we talk about it enough and we hear about it enough, it starts to, not have such a huge impact on us,

00:17:00.395 --> 00:17:19.596
It really leads into being supportive and being an ally of it too, because then people understand it more and it really promotes more inclusivity about it when you're talking about it and you're open about it, and it just becomes more of the norm that you're talking about it, including it instead of being like, oh, gods like, don't talk about that.

00:17:19.826 --> 00:17:27.445
This is something that can make you more resilient, that can empower you, that can help you, change the way you think about things.

00:17:27.476 --> 00:17:36.766
And I think that's important, especially when you're thinking of it, how can I support maybe like a friend or a child or a partner that has neurodivergent?

00:17:37.766 --> 00:17:37.915
It

00:17:37.915 --> 00:17:43.086
is hard because a lot of people look at being neurospicy as having something wrong with you.

00:17:43.655 --> 00:17:47.086
And by the way, neurospicy is not a It's not

00:17:47.086 --> 00:17:47.925
a technical term.

00:17:47.925 --> 00:17:48.476
It's not a technical term.

00:17:48.476 --> 00:17:51.417
It's not in the DSM or anything like that.

00:17:51.417 --> 00:17:52.301
It's like

00:17:52.301 --> 00:17:53.776
a tick tock term.

00:17:53.925 --> 00:17:54.205
Yeah.

00:17:54.306 --> 00:18:00.605
but I think that people look at it like if you're neurodivergent or neurospicy that there's something wrong with you.

00:18:00.846 --> 00:18:03.855
Oh, they're, we don't want our child to be labeled that.

00:18:04.135 --> 00:18:05.506
We want them to be normal.

00:18:05.506 --> 00:18:12.215
And then what we end up doing if you do that is you make it harder for them because they're trying to be normal.

00:18:12.548 --> 00:18:15.169
And, you're training them to be normal when they're not.

00:18:15.328 --> 00:18:16.808
their brain is different.

00:18:16.818 --> 00:18:19.019
And if we were like, yep, that's their brain.

00:18:19.269 --> 00:18:21.568
I remember once, When my daughter was, what was she?

00:18:21.679 --> 00:18:22.219
Kinder?

00:18:22.229 --> 00:18:22.808
Preschool?

00:18:22.808 --> 00:18:23.278
Something like that?

00:18:23.278 --> 00:18:23.749
Preschool.

00:18:24.098 --> 00:18:25.878
Somebody had a bee on their shirt.

00:18:25.959 --> 00:18:28.919
And so my daughter took a piece of tan bark and threw it at the girl.

00:18:29.068 --> 00:18:30.759
Trying to throw it at the bee to get the bee off.

00:18:31.769 --> 00:18:35.888
And it was a, this teacher was like, she threw a piece of tan bark at her and da da da.

00:18:35.888 --> 00:18:37.239
And was making it a big deal.

00:18:37.239 --> 00:18:44.412
And I looked at her and I said, she's ADHD, yeah, and she's like, well, I was like, she was impulsive and she was trying to help.

00:18:44.912 --> 00:18:45.842
It isn't a big deal.

00:18:45.842 --> 00:18:47.862
You probably need to learn more about

00:18:47.862 --> 00:18:48.071
it.

00:18:48.442 --> 00:19:00.751
I think that's why it's so important when we use these terms and broaden things about the mental health community and this really cultivates a deeper understanding overall and then people, we can really break the stigma.

00:19:01.142 --> 00:19:05.922
Yeah, by bringing people into our community and how they can understand

00:19:05.922 --> 00:19:12.791
it and I always, always when people are diagnosed with ADHD, talk about the brilliance.

00:19:12.971 --> 00:19:17.981
ADHD, they're so brilliant and they're so creative.

00:19:18.332 --> 00:19:20.892
Most of us are just very creative.

00:19:20.912 --> 00:19:23.761
And if we could harness Wow.

00:19:23.771 --> 00:19:26.342
The amazing things that we could do and that we do do.

00:19:26.362 --> 00:19:26.561
And

00:19:26.561 --> 00:19:36.582
my son is autistic and I can't, sometimes I just sit and marvel at like the things that he understands and can do that I have no concept over.

00:19:36.652 --> 00:19:42.471
The way his mind can engineer things and understand things like coding and building and.

00:19:42.721 --> 00:19:43.541
He's only eight.

00:19:43.541 --> 00:19:45.321
And I'm like, what is happening?

00:19:45.701 --> 00:19:58.872
to me, it's so magical, but, being labeled as autistic, I see a world of possibilities for him on things that he can comprehend that I could never comprehend because his brain is so beautiful.

00:19:59.122 --> 00:20:00.382
to me in that way.

00:20:00.392 --> 00:20:03.808
And I think of it as, a huge strength for him.

00:20:03.838 --> 00:20:04.019
It

00:20:04.019 --> 00:20:04.838
is a strength.

00:20:04.848 --> 00:20:07.659
I remember watching both of our kids together.

00:20:08.038 --> 00:20:14.429
We were wrapping presents one Christmas and they're sitting there, the two of them are sitting there building this little stem thing together.

00:20:14.469 --> 00:20:16.568
This little neurodiverse, the two

00:20:16.568 --> 00:20:17.788
of them going for it.

00:20:17.798 --> 00:20:19.919
And I could never, That would never interest me.

00:20:20.179 --> 00:20:20.358
No.

00:20:20.719 --> 00:20:26.798
Yeah, like he gets a stumbox every month and He checks the tracking and my email like when is it coming?

00:20:26.798 --> 00:20:51.808
I need to get it and blah blah blah and I need to do it and then as soon as it comes he Sits he hardly ever focuses With his ADHD side and then he's so and he has to complete this and then he's so Amazed and proud and telling me about these he did one about it was like light and reflection or something and made this whole machine that reflected the light and I was like, okay, I'm not a science person.

00:20:51.848 --> 00:21:04.818
But that just leads into how can we really integrate this concept of neuro spicy into our everyday life and really uplifting those around us that neurodivergent community.

00:21:05.213 --> 00:21:14.394
What you just said right there, with your son, watching the two, your son and my daughter sit there and build that little box thing that they were doing together that day.

00:21:15.023 --> 00:21:18.814
So we weren't asking them to participate in what we were doing.

00:21:19.153 --> 00:21:26.794
And that's what was actually really cool was because we were there, we were wrapping gifts for family for Christmas, family in need.

00:21:26.804 --> 00:21:29.104
And so we were all supposed to be doing that.

00:21:29.124 --> 00:21:32.294
But the two of them decided to go do something else, which was fine.

00:21:32.864 --> 00:21:35.913
They were, engaged and entertained and right.

00:21:36.413 --> 00:21:41.064
But had we been like, no, no, no, come over here and, and wrap presents like you're supposed to.

00:21:41.074 --> 00:21:41.104
And

00:21:41.114 --> 00:21:41.334
you

00:21:41.334 --> 00:21:43.013
need to do what we want to do.

00:21:43.153 --> 00:21:43.584
You need

00:21:43.584 --> 00:21:44.733
to do what we're supposed

00:21:44.733 --> 00:21:45.296
to do and what we're doing.

00:21:45.296 --> 00:21:58.673
They were still, understanding that we were doing something as a community to help somebody else, and they did help at first, but then, you know, Typical, got distracted and went off that, but, then they were able to create this other connection and this other understanding.

00:21:58.673 --> 00:22:04.384
And we were like, well, that's so cool what they're doing, and that that interests them, and that your daughter, she's older.

00:22:04.384 --> 00:22:06.794
So she was willing to help, you know, my son.

00:22:06.814 --> 00:22:17.354
And then they understood that without even really needing to talk, but I think that that promotes understanding and acceptance and you can have empathy, for that.

00:22:17.413 --> 00:22:25.324
I have to tell, my family, a lot of time, Our son, our child does not think like your child or the cousin or grandpa or whatever.

00:22:25.394 --> 00:22:26.864
He thinks differently.

00:22:26.864 --> 00:22:31.824
He has more rigid standards for things and we have more flexibility and he does not think that way.

00:22:31.824 --> 00:22:42.074
So it's sometimes we need to take a different route with him than what we know, which is really hard the way that we were you know, to just be like, you just do it.

00:22:42.634 --> 00:22:46.243
The example I use is lefties.

00:22:47.223 --> 00:22:52.351
We expect everybody who's left handed to operate like in

00:22:52.351 --> 00:22:54.114
a right handed world.

00:22:54.534 --> 00:22:56.183
It's the exact same thing.

00:22:56.183 --> 00:23:10.161
And so sometimes if they would go through and understand it, or like people who are introverts versus extroverts, we expect extroverts to, step up and say something versus our introverts to maybe, help them.

00:23:11.810 --> 00:23:19.371
I want to say shut up, but you know, I mean, yeah, but we always expect the other people to change.

00:23:19.510 --> 00:23:19.891
Right.

00:23:19.891 --> 00:23:21.941
And that's what's hard is instead

00:23:21.941 --> 00:23:22.060
of

00:23:22.060 --> 00:23:26.971
embracing, why can't we meet in the middle and create more inclusive, environments.

00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.191
I love to my son's elementary school.

00:23:29.191 --> 00:23:32.161
They have a calm down room, like their school therapist has made.

00:23:32.161 --> 00:23:35.780
So if a kid is overwhelmed, they can go to this calm down room.

00:23:35.780 --> 00:23:35.911
And.

00:23:36.040 --> 00:23:41.776
It's things like that, little things like that, that are taking a step, I feel like, in the right direction.

00:23:42.071 --> 00:23:50.271
direction and his teacher has a growth mindset classroom, about, learning and, being open, to new things so that they can grow and learn.

00:23:50.321 --> 00:24:01.771
Those things are a step in creating inclusion for all, no matter if you are neurodivergent or not, or have a learning disability that falls under this or not, or a mental health disorder.

00:24:02.301 --> 00:24:08.672
It's just, you Those things are good for everybody, no matter your diagnosis or not having any, mental health issue.

00:24:08.692 --> 00:24:12.541
Everybody needs a minute to blow bubbles or calm down to understand yourself.

00:24:12.894 --> 00:24:15.547
Exactly, I was thinking too, there's a story.

00:24:15.987 --> 00:24:20.606
my daughter, we're, it was a Christmas two years ago, we were at a friend's house.

00:24:20.656 --> 00:24:23.064
her daughter was autistic and down syndrome.

00:24:23.594 --> 00:24:25.483
Maybe ADHD, not sure.

00:24:26.334 --> 00:24:28.663
Nonverbal really didn't do a lot of talking.

00:24:28.814 --> 00:24:39.413
we look over and my daughter is sitting next to her daughter and they're both decorating cookies and they're passing the stuff back and forth, but neither one of them are talking.

00:24:39.433 --> 00:24:41.364
Neither one of them are talking to each other.

00:24:41.374 --> 00:24:43.183
They're not making eye contact with each other.

00:24:43.193 --> 00:24:49.913
They're both just in their own little neuro spicy world, passing the things back and forth and decorating cookies.

00:24:50.134 --> 00:24:50.503
Yeah.

00:24:50.554 --> 00:25:01.898
And it was just a really sweet moment to look at because it was like they had this understanding And they're the same age, but they're, both neurodivergent, just very different in that sense.

00:25:02.138 --> 00:25:14.501
I think that's also a testament to you too, as a mother and a parent of how you have raised your daughter to have empathy and space for other people that have differences.

00:25:15.092 --> 00:25:17.935
Oh, that makes me a little teary eyed.

00:25:17.935 --> 00:25:18.612
I know.

00:25:18.612 --> 00:25:20.304
I'm like, Oh, it is.

00:25:20.304 --> 00:25:20.642
Yeah.

00:25:20.888 --> 00:25:30.318
it's not a limitation, and I think that's where we have to, as individuals, understand, too, or as a parent, or as a caregiver, or as a friend, it's not a limitation.

00:25:30.338 --> 00:25:34.348
It's a unique aspect of who you are.

00:25:34.348 --> 00:25:47.608
It's not who you are wholly, but it's a part of who you are, and when you give yourself also giving yourself empathy for it and others and understanding and a safe space, it can be celebrated.

00:25:47.788 --> 00:25:49.209
Yeah, they're human.

00:25:49.219 --> 00:25:49.979
We're human.

00:25:50.068 --> 00:25:51.308
All of us are human.

00:25:51.318 --> 00:25:52.439
We're just human.

00:25:52.449 --> 00:25:54.638
And everybody is a little different.

00:25:55.058 --> 00:26:01.509
And if we really, just start by acknowledging and accepting neurodiversity as very natural.

00:26:01.709 --> 00:26:05.429
And as you said earlier, beautiful, you said your son has a beautiful mind.

00:26:05.469 --> 00:26:09.429
Yeah, just really it's just A part of a human variation.

00:26:09.469 --> 00:26:10.348
And that's all it is.

00:26:10.368 --> 00:26:12.038
We're just varied

00:26:12.038 --> 00:26:12.699
humans.

00:26:13.878 --> 00:26:15.769
And that makes you wonderfully unique.