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Perimenopause - The Silent Transition, Spoken Aloud
Perimenopause - The Silent Transition, Spoken Aloud
Join esteemed psychotherapists Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, as they offer invaluable insights into navigating perimeno…
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May 15, 2024

Perimenopause - The Silent Transition, Spoken Aloud

Join esteemed psychotherapists Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, as they offer invaluable insights into navigating perimenopause anxiety, deploying effective coping strategies, and embracing holistic practices to maintain hormonal balance. Tailored for women, who might be seeking solace in understanding their own body's rhythms and those in need of companionship on this journey, this episode promises not just expert advice but also the warmth of knowing you're not alone. Whether you're feeling lost in the waves of mood swings or searching for a beacon of self-care, let us be your guide to rediscovering your strength and celebrating your womanhood anew.

Embarking on the perimenopause journey can feel like navigating uncharted waters, where waves of mood swings and new physical sensations challenge our sense of self and emotional balance.  In seeking to empower you through this transition, we delve into coping strategies for perimenopause, offering tools and resources tailored to maintain hormonal balance, enhance self-care, and understand the intricate relationship dynamics that may evolve during this time. Through our podcasts, we invite you into a community where female empowerment during perimenopause isn't just a concept—it's a lived experience. Let's walk this path together, embracing each challenge as an opportunity for growth, and transform our perimenopause journey into one of empowerment and wellness.

Our upcoming podcast episodes are crafted with you in mind, touching upon the essential, the transformative, and the deeply personal aspects of navigating perimenopause. We'll be diving into practical hormonal balance tips that respect your body's changing needs, along with self-care strategies that honor where you are in your journey. Understanding your mood swings becomes a path to deeper self-awareness, not just a challenge to endure. We'll explore how diet and lifestyle adjustments can be acts of self-love, not just necessities. Together, we're not just getting through perimenopause; we're thriving through it, redefining what it means to be strong, resilient women in this stage of life.

What exactly is perimenopause, and when does it typically start?
What are common signs that I might be entering perimenopause?
Can perimenopause affect my mental health?
How long does perimenopause last?
Are there treatments that can ease perimenopausal symptoms?
How does perimenopause impact sexuality and intimacy?
Is it normal for me to feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster during perimenopause?
Can I still get pregnant during perimenopause?
What lifestyle changes can support me through perimenopause?

#PerimenopauseJourney #HormonalHealthTips #SelfCareInPerimenopause #MoodSwingsSupport #PerimenopauseDiet #EmpowerWomenOver40 #JoyInPerimenopause #PerimenopauseRelationships #BreakPerimenopauseStigma #PerimenopauseTherapy

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Women's Mental Health Podcast, created by licensed psychotherapists Randi Owsley MSW and Jessica Bullwinkle LMFT, offers resources for those navigating mental health. This podcast or social media are not psychotherapy, a replacement for a therapeutic relationship, or substitute for mental health care. All thoughts expressed are for educational and entertainment purposes, no psychotherapeutic relationship exists by virtue of listening, commenting, or engaging. Our platform could contain affiliate links, which if used, might earn us a small commission at no extra cost to you.


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If this episode resonated with you, we warmly welcome you to explore more empowering conversations on the Women's Mental Health Podcast. Each episode is designed to connect, educate, and uplift our strong and resilient listeners, just like you.

Together, we grow, learn, and empower one another. Together, we break stigmas.

#Empowerment, #MentalHealth, #BreakTheStigma

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.540
Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast.

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I'm Randi and I'm Jess, and we're two licensed psychotherapists.

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This is a safe place where we talk about mental health, wellbeing, and strategies for coping with life's challenges and how all of this is normal and you are not alone.

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Today, we're delving into an important topic, understanding perimenopause.

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Yes.

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You can find us and more resources on our website, womensmentalhealthpodcast.

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com.

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Okay, so have you ever had these thoughts?

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What exactly is perimenopause and when does it typically start?

00:00:36.728 --> 00:00:39.987
What are common signs that I might be entering into perimenopause?

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Can perimenopause affect my mental health?

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Yes.

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Hell yes.

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Absolutely yes.

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Yes, yes, yes.

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How long does perimenopause last?

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Are there treatments that can help ease the perimenopausal symptoms?

00:00:52.372 --> 00:00:55.942
How does perimenopause impact sexuality and intimacy?

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Is it normal for me to feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster during perimenopause?

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I'm laughing.

00:01:01.622 --> 00:01:01.872
Yes.

00:01:01.883 --> 00:01:02.103
Yes.

00:01:02.503 --> 00:01:02.953
Totally.

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Does perimenopause mean I'm at a higher risk for certain health issues?

00:01:07.132 --> 00:01:09.643
Can I still get pregnant during perimenopause?

00:01:09.888 --> 00:01:10.867
God, that would be awful.

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I'm so sorry.

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Starting all over during perimenopause at this stage.

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Okay.

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What lifestyle changes can support me through perimenopause?

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why is it called perimenopause?

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You might wonder.

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Well, perimenopause refers to the transitional phase leading up to menopause.

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This is The time period during which women experience hormonal fluctuations and many physical changes.

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The thing about perimenopause, I'm gonna sidetrack for a second, menopause is when life gets easier.

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Yes,

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after all of this.

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After all of this.

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You think that it's pre menopause, so it should be easier, but it's actually all the crap that is happening leading up to menopause, which is the end of it.

00:01:57.757 --> 00:02:01.927
So, this can happen from age 25 to 50.

00:02:01.947 --> 00:02:03.748
It's a really Or later.

00:02:03.757 --> 00:02:10.134
Or later, yeah, depending, but a lot of women have it happening earlier nowadays, and And I wonder

00:02:10.215 --> 00:02:13.659
if that's because Our girls are starting their periods earlier.

00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:18.550
It's probably environmental, I would think, and how that affects our hormones.

00:02:18.782 --> 00:02:21.742
So really when we seek mental health.

00:02:22.276 --> 00:02:23.786
and self care for this.

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It can really help us overall in our well being journey because this really impacts all aspects of our life,

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all aspects, all aspects.

00:02:34.441 --> 00:02:40.472
And so from a mental health perspective, though, perimenopause, it really contributes to so much.

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everything like anxiety, depression, irritability, mood swings.

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and there's like 40 different signs plus some of what this is.

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It can

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be irregular periods or it can be like heavier periods.

00:02:53.417 --> 00:02:54.037
Heavy

00:02:54.037 --> 00:02:54.627
periods or

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two in a month or a really long one.

00:02:57.467 --> 00:02:59.847
Hot flashes, night sweats.

00:03:00.106 --> 00:03:05.687
having a decrease in your libido or in your sexual drive.

00:03:05.776 --> 00:03:11.516
Maybe you're like, why do I all of a sudden feel like I don't want to have sex anymore and am I broken?

00:03:11.606 --> 00:03:13.016
I thought that for a while.

00:03:13.204 --> 00:03:16.433
I previously had a really high sex drive and then all of a sudden nothing.

00:03:16.433 --> 00:03:17.854
And I was like, what's wrong with me?

00:03:17.993 --> 00:03:21.360
Mood swings, really bad mood swings.

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Really bad.

00:03:21.760 --> 00:03:21.939
Yeah.

00:03:22.169 --> 00:03:26.629
So, one time I was cleaning, I was like, there's some smell in, in our bedroom.

00:03:26.900 --> 00:03:30.509
And so I'm cleaning our bedroom, and I first said, like, let me just change the sheets.

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I'm changing the sheets.

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I'm like, no, that's not it.

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Okay, I'm gonna go wash all the blankets and the comforter.

00:03:35.659 --> 00:03:37.430
No, okay, maybe it's the pillows.

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I'm gonna wash the pillows.

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Okay, let me wash the pillows now.

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And then, right before I was getting ready to actually scrub my carpets, in walked my husband.

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And I was like, Oh my God, it's him.

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He's the smell.

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And normally I'm very attracted to his chemistry.

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Yeah.

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The

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smell is

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different.

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I was like, Oh God, I didn't tell him that.

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Yeah.

00:04:00.340 --> 00:04:02.770
that's how I knew something was wrong with me.

00:04:02.780 --> 00:04:06.270
So something had changed in your olfactory smelling.

00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:08.050
It was like, what's off?

00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:08.639
Yes.

00:04:08.659 --> 00:04:09.340
And I was like,

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Oh, it is me.

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Because normally I'm like, I like it, but Nope.

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Nope.

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It was totally him.

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Yeah.

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Totally.

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Just he was the smell in our bedroom that I was not liking.

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I know you're laughing,

00:04:23.470 --> 00:04:27.350
but yeah, but this, these are things that come on kind of out of nowhere.

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For me, it was like, I all of a sudden gotten really bad insomnia.

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Like I could not sleep at all, no matter what I did.

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What medicine I took nothing was knocking me out, and I was like, what is going on here, why can I not sleep no matter, sleeping pills or magnesium or whatever I was taking, being exhausted, and I still couldn't quiet my body, and so I was started looking into this and was like, oh, I'm going through perimenopause.

00:04:56.254 --> 00:04:56.694
Yay, me.

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Yay, you.

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I was picking up my meds once and the pharmacist there had asked, I don't know, we were talking about something.

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I said, Oh yeah, this is for my, for perimenopause symptoms.

00:05:05.934 --> 00:05:08.014
And she looked at me, she goes, does it help you sleep?

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I'm having a hard time sleeping right now.

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And I was like, it helps.

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It doesn't make it perfect, but it helps.

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She goes, Oh, yeah.

00:05:14.213 --> 00:05:17.983
Okay, I'm probably gonna have to start these two then because yeah, she apparently was going through it too.

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She was, because I'm, I was like moody irritable.

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She's like, oh, yeah.

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Yeah, my mood swings were like off the charts and I was like, what is wrong?

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Because all my other symptoms normally are managed and then all of a sudden it was just like these super high highs and super low lows like out of nowhere and I couldn't really explain.

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Explain what was triggering it.

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Yeah.

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Nothing is triggering it.

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Yeah.

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Your hormones are triggering

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it.

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And so it's really, really important that we start to educate ourselves as women and educate other women about perimenopause because we don't have enough.

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I remember one time I had a male doctor and after him, I will never see a male doctor again.

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Sorry if there's some great ones, but I won't do it.

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Yeah.

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He said, no, you're not in menopause until you, you stop having your period for a year.

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Yeah.

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They don't.

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And I was like, Oh, okay.

00:06:04.649 --> 00:06:07.228
So, but he didn't say anything about perimenopause.

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He didn't say anything about hormone fluctuations.

00:06:09.968 --> 00:06:10.718
I didn't until

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I started researching it.

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I didn't even know it was a thing.

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All I kept thinking was like menopause, like eventually I'm going to hit menopause, like when I'm, older.

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And now that it's coming on sooner and sooner for a lot of women and not even knowing this was a thing.

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And eventually I found out.

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found a specialist that specialized in women's sexual and hormonal health.

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The thing was, too, I thought I needed to get all this testing done.

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Well, a lot of time you don't even need testing.

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It's based off of symptoms because your hormones fluctuate so much.

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There's no way to get a baseline based off of blood work.

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So really you need to be tracking like these symptoms that you can go to your doctor or, nurse practitioner with and talk to them about that so that they can.

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And once I started, I tried every natural, Supplement out there.

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And for some people, will they help for me?

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It didn't.

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And so I just started hormone replacement therapy and I am back to sleeping again, which is amazing, because I felt like I was losing my mind.

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Yeah, I'm not getting any

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more 3 a.

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m.

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texts from you.

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Yeah, no.

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I'm not getting those anymore.

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I was like, huh.

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I'm not sending them either, because I'm sleeping pretty good, too.

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Yeah, but with the education, like you were saying we can really then normalize this.

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Yes.

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Support each other.

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for women that are navigating this, or, like you said, once we educate ourselves, then we can be prepared for it when it does happen if, you're younger.

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And it really

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helps us not

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feel

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so isolated or alone when you're like, Oh, we're all going through this.

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And when I have women that come to me, and first thing I do when they start talking about this, I look at their age.

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Okay, are you over 40?

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And the next thing I say is, is your mom still around?

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Okay, great.

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Can you ask her when she went through menopause or when she started to go through it?

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Because our older generation, they also didn't know about perimenopause either.

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Yeah.

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And it's worse for us with ADHD.

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Oh, really?

00:08:09.660 --> 00:08:10.480
That's interesting.

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Yes.

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It also makes our ADHD worse, just like puberty and pregnancy.

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Which we've talked about.

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Mm hmm.

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Perimenopause, your hormones are off and so it makes your, ADHD symptoms worse.

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That makes sense.

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Yeah.

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That's why a lot of women don't get diagnosed until later because of all the hormones being off and then their ADHD going off and your brain isn't working anyway during this time of the, time of year, time of your life.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So when we encourage this open communication and this honest conversation about perimenopause, when we talk about our symptoms, when we talk about coping strategies, when we talk about resources.

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Yeah.

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It creates a supportive community and it empowers women who are going through this transition.

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So we don't feel alone.

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And I hope when my daughter gets to this age that The world recognizes it a lot better, that generation is already better about talking about their periods Oh, yeah way better than my generation was and so I'm hoping that we can easily go Oh, you must be going through perimenopause and it is hard because there's no test I mean, we'll run through the 40 things here in a minute, but there's like 40 different signs that you could be going through perimenopause and you don't have to have all of them either.

00:09:28.149 --> 00:09:30.025
There's no real criteria,

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It's different for each woman because our hormones and our bodies are all different and our genetics are all different.

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So it's not a one size fits all.

00:09:38.135 --> 00:09:39.005
Exactly.

00:09:39.296 --> 00:09:42.056
So let's go over our have you ever questions.

00:09:42.066 --> 00:09:47.176
So Exactly, let's define perimenopause and when it starts.

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Okay, so perimenopause

00:09:49.135 --> 00:09:52.405
is the stage right before menopause.

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Menopause is when your periods have stopped for one year, solid.

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That's considered perimenopause.

00:10:01.025 --> 00:10:15.110
And what that does is it's signaling the end of your reproductive years, which means that Once your period has stopped for a year, you are no longer able to have a baby, which, by the way, is a really weird thing to, like, kind of grieve, even though I don't want another kid.

00:10:15.110 --> 00:10:21.201
I remember thinking I was sad that I didn't have that choice anymore, which is weird, Because I've been in menopause.

00:10:21.201 --> 00:10:22.941
I'm past that stage, thank God.

00:10:23.205 --> 00:10:27.894
But usually it starts with women in their 40s, but sometimes women start in their 30s.

00:10:27.945 --> 00:10:29.105
It really depends.

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It's this time when your hormones fluctuate.

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And everyone is

00:10:33.534 --> 00:10:34.154
different.

00:10:34.554 --> 00:10:46.034
So an interesting thing that my doctor was talking to me about is that she is seeing a lot of research come up currently about women who have been on birth control.

00:10:46.197 --> 00:10:52.408
For a long period of time or early, like I know, like when I used to have, period issues, they'd just be like, go on birth control.

00:10:52.495 --> 00:11:01.960
They're finding that women who have been on birth control, it has impacted our sex hormone binding globulin.

00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:03.924
Globulin.

00:11:04.384 --> 00:11:05.445
I can see it in my head.

00:11:05.884 --> 00:11:06.815
Yeah, say that.

00:11:07.075 --> 00:11:28.654
It's almost changing the way that your sex hormone has been bound, and so it's impacting your hormones, creating almost like this earlier perimenopause that women are having, and so it's interesting to see like those of us who were put on birth control, for a long period of time, how it might have impacted it.

00:11:28.654 --> 00:11:28.664
Okay.

00:11:28.835 --> 00:11:30.754
The way our body reacts,

00:11:31.215 --> 00:11:34.654
Younger women are not going on birth control the way we did.

00:11:34.654 --> 00:11:37.085
And I don't think it has anything to do with like having less sex.

00:11:37.095 --> 00:11:41.075
No, I think there's more of an education and they're not wanting that in their bodies.

00:11:41.085 --> 00:11:41.975
Exactly.

00:11:42.065 --> 00:11:47.014
And I'm seeing that there's an increase in men getting vasectomies because it's easier.

00:11:47.945 --> 00:11:55.534
as a partnership goes it shouldn't be I think before I was like, oh no, I would never do that where it should be like why not?

00:11:55.544 --> 00:11:59.360
That's so much less Invasive than what a woman has to go through.

00:11:59.370 --> 00:11:59.971
Exactly.

00:11:59.971 --> 00:12:01.541
And why is it always on the women?

00:12:01.860 --> 00:12:02.250
Mm hmm.

00:12:02.270 --> 00:12:04.380
Oh, that's another soapbox I'll get off my box here.

00:12:04.380 --> 00:12:04.620
Okay.

00:12:04.860 --> 00:12:08.900
what are common signs that you might be entering perimenopause?

00:12:09.265 --> 00:12:11.015
Well, if your husband smells weird,

00:12:11.716 --> 00:12:13.525
that is definitely one sign.

00:12:13.962 --> 00:12:23.232
You may notice changes in your menstrual cycle, it can get longer, shorter, heavier, heavier, regular murder scene heavy.

00:12:23.793 --> 00:12:25.293
It really just depends.

00:12:25.416 --> 00:12:29.436
Some of the ones that are really easy to detect are hot flashes.

00:12:29.966 --> 00:12:34.535
A hot flash is when Your chest feels like it's all of a sudden on fire.

00:12:34.566 --> 00:12:58.173
Yeah, it's like flush and it yeah It gets red and it raises up into your face and all of a sudden you're sweating And this is almost like when you get embarrassed, it feels like that to me The other one is night sweats and that's how you wake up and you are just drenched and you're just like this is so gross sleep disturbances like Randy was talking about not being able to sleep or waking up or insomnia.

00:12:58.523 --> 00:12:59.552
Mood swings.

00:12:59.673 --> 00:13:02.802
that's when you're like up and down almost like you're PMSing all the time.

00:13:03.143 --> 00:13:05.003
A big one too is hair loss.

00:13:05.263 --> 00:13:06.812
Like a lot of hair loss.

00:13:06.812 --> 00:13:09.653
Like I lost so much of my hair.

00:13:09.653 --> 00:13:10.572
Oh yeah.

00:13:10.572 --> 00:13:12.783
The other one too is hair on your face.

00:13:13.097 --> 00:13:13.398
Mm.

00:13:13.457 --> 00:13:16.038
I always joke that it's now going from your head to your face.

00:13:16.097 --> 00:13:16.158
Yeah.

00:13:16.488 --> 00:13:20.687
It's trying to work its way down your body weight gain too, especially in your belly area.

00:13:20.778 --> 00:13:20.988
Mm-Hmm.

00:13:21.317 --> 00:13:22.337
panic attacks.

00:13:22.508 --> 00:13:22.748
Mm-Hmm.

00:13:23.128 --> 00:13:24.748
being really tired.

00:13:25.148 --> 00:13:25.957
Headaches.

00:13:26.048 --> 00:13:28.457
The brain foggy, like forgetfulness.

00:13:28.488 --> 00:13:28.577
Right.

00:13:29.087 --> 00:13:31.825
There's Painful urination body odor,

00:13:31.875 --> 00:13:39.674
it's also smelling your partner differently, but you're smelling yourself, differently, because there could be a change in your hormone levels.

00:13:39.725 --> 00:13:44.735
I had to change deodorants because the deodorant that I've used my entire life wasn't working

00:13:45.075 --> 00:13:50.927
This is another thing that I think we don't realize too I have had a lot of changes in my dental health my teeth.

00:13:51.087 --> 00:13:58.840
I've gotten a lot more cavities your gum health and your bone health and your body, you've lost, some of your bone density.

00:13:59.139 --> 00:13:59.350
It's

00:13:59.350 --> 00:14:01.307
because of, a decrease in saliva.

00:14:01.610 --> 00:14:05.710
Your mouth gets dry and when your mouth is dry, more bacteria gets in.

00:14:06.049 --> 00:14:10.389
It's because low estrogen levels causes you to have dry mouth.

00:14:10.399 --> 00:14:11.899
And so they have gum.

00:14:11.899 --> 00:14:13.149
You can drink water.

00:14:13.465 --> 00:14:15.024
There's other things that you can do.

00:14:15.434 --> 00:14:16.404
We talk about brittle

00:14:16.404 --> 00:14:17.044
nails.

00:14:17.304 --> 00:14:17.914
Yeah.

00:14:18.075 --> 00:14:29.434
feeling dizzy all of a sudden, tingling, sensations I started getting that like in my feet went and got all these tests done and they're like, we can't find anything wrong with you and I was like.

00:14:29.434 --> 00:14:29.890
I remember you saying that.

00:14:29.890 --> 00:14:29.991
Yeah.

00:14:29.991 --> 00:14:31.495
And I was like, maybe it's your medication.

00:14:31.524 --> 00:14:32.054
Yeah.

00:14:32.054 --> 00:14:33.845
And so I think that it was just.

00:14:33.845 --> 00:14:33.965
Yeah.

00:14:34.139 --> 00:14:36.309
Changes in my body.

00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:37.830
Allergies.

00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:38.580
Frequent allergies.

00:14:38.639 --> 00:14:43.110
More prone to cold and flu, you, remember, you were getting sick for a long time there.

00:14:43.110 --> 00:14:43.620
Yeah, I was getting, yeah.

00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:44.539
I felt like I was

00:14:44.539 --> 00:14:46.029
sick for four months straight.

00:14:46.029 --> 00:14:46.559
Yeah.

00:14:46.830 --> 00:14:51.455
all this leads to also affecting your mental health.

00:14:51.455 --> 00:14:54.440
So, how do we see it affecting mental health?

00:14:54.884 --> 00:14:56.384
I moved us four states away.

00:14:57.394 --> 00:14:57.995
True story.

00:14:58.065 --> 00:14:58.534
True story.

00:14:58.534 --> 00:15:03.091
I was done and we left and moved, okay, maybe three states, we picked up and moved in the middle of it.

00:15:03.402 --> 00:15:07.322
And I don't know if I wasn't having perimenopause, would I have moved us?

00:15:07.322 --> 00:15:10.282
I mean, I'm glad I did it, but I don't know.

00:15:10.282 --> 00:15:11.481
I was so toast.

00:15:11.581 --> 00:15:12.642
I was so done.

00:15:13.111 --> 00:15:18.111
The anxiety, depression, mood swings, part of it is that reach out for help.

00:15:18.552 --> 00:15:19.272
I remember.

00:15:19.721 --> 00:15:24.032
I know my mom was telling me the story about my grandma when she was going through perimenopause.

00:15:24.322 --> 00:15:26.072
I also think grandma was ADHD, by the way.

00:15:26.422 --> 00:15:28.662
she thought she was going to try and kill herself.

00:15:29.087 --> 00:15:33.807
A lot of women feel suicidal because they cannot cope anymore.

00:15:34.057 --> 00:15:41.278
And I feel that that brings a lot of shame to women who feel like we should have it all together and we should be able to do everything.

00:15:41.498 --> 00:15:50.567
Again, listen to our kin keeping episode series that we've done because we really don't need to shoulder this all on our own.

00:15:50.927 --> 00:15:53.717
So there's no shame in struggling.

00:15:54.692 --> 00:16:14.993
So it's important to talk about this and seek support, whether that's friends, doctors, therapists, and find strategies to navigate this while you're in it because it can feel like you're drowning, especially if you can't sleep and you can't think and then you can't function and it just can just pile on top of you.

00:16:15.638 --> 00:16:18.748
You know, Randy, we should do a group for perimenopause.

00:16:18.748 --> 00:16:19.388
That's a good idea.

00:16:19.408 --> 00:16:21.057
We should do a support group for that.

00:16:21.118 --> 00:16:22.868
I think that's a really good idea.

00:16:22.888 --> 00:16:23.457
That's a good idea.

00:16:23.538 --> 00:16:26.148
Because I have not been able to find one.

00:16:26.451 --> 00:16:34.567
And I think so many women need to know that they're not alone and maybe they don't want to divorce their husbands because they chew too loud.

00:16:34.677 --> 00:16:35.086
Right.

00:16:35.726 --> 00:16:38.317
Or because they smell funky all of a sudden.

00:16:38.486 --> 00:16:38.836
Yeah.

00:16:38.836 --> 00:16:38.897
I don't know.

00:16:39.086 --> 00:16:39.386
Yeah.

00:16:39.386 --> 00:16:43.767
It can be weird and I remember my mom kept going, this is hormones, this is hormones.

00:16:43.767 --> 00:16:44.986
And I was like, fuck it's

00:16:44.986 --> 00:16:45.976
that fucking hormones.

00:16:45.976 --> 00:16:46.787
And it was.

00:16:46.787 --> 00:16:46.947
Yeah.

00:16:46.947 --> 00:16:50.966
Cause you can't see the forest for the trees when you're in the thick of it.

00:16:50.976 --> 00:16:51.226
Nope.

00:16:51.586 --> 00:16:55.317
And how long can perimenopause last?

00:16:56.277 --> 00:16:58.836
It depends on every woman to woman.

00:16:58.976 --> 00:17:02.736
Go ask your mom if she's around what she went through,

00:17:02.956 --> 00:17:04.277
if she can remember.

00:17:04.307 --> 00:17:07.247
I've heard that my doctor told me it can last up to 10 years.

00:17:07.426 --> 00:17:10.957
Sometimes, but I think for most people, it can be several years.

00:17:11.007 --> 00:17:11.366
But think

00:17:11.366 --> 00:17:11.626
about it.

00:17:11.676 --> 00:17:17.376
I think I started my early forties and I remember going to a doctor and he was like, Nope, Nope, Nope.

00:17:17.386 --> 00:17:19.237
The stupid male doctor I'll never go to again.

00:17:19.297 --> 00:17:19.787
Right.

00:17:20.186 --> 00:17:22.487
I must've been 42 maybe.

00:17:23.277 --> 00:17:25.686
And I finally finished at 48.

00:17:26.146 --> 00:17:32.477
Yeah, I want to say my symptoms started at 41 and I'm 43 right now.

00:17:32.517 --> 00:17:34.106
did we just give our ages out online?

00:17:34.916 --> 00:17:35.057
We

00:17:35.057 --> 00:17:35.446
just, I mean,

00:17:36.626 --> 00:17:37.406
don't tell anybody, but

00:17:37.406 --> 00:17:44.797
like I just now finally I've been struggling with it that long and finally just got help for it and went to a specialist for it.

00:17:44.807 --> 00:17:46.946
And I was struggling that whole time.

00:17:47.582 --> 00:18:00.291
And I was finally like, enough is enough, and so that's why it's so important to connect with the cues that your body is giving you and prioritize yourself and your health.

00:18:00.301 --> 00:18:00.731
We talk

00:18:00.731 --> 00:18:01.682
about self care.

00:18:02.271 --> 00:18:04.142
Going to a doctor is self care.

00:18:04.450 --> 00:18:11.450
Making time to find the nurse practitioner or doctor or specialist that's going to help you is self care.

00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:11.789
Yeah.

00:18:11.789 --> 00:18:12.150
I kept

00:18:12.150 --> 00:18:13.450
putting it on the back burner.

00:18:13.527 --> 00:18:14.997
There's so many other things to do.

00:18:15.007 --> 00:18:15.997
My kids need this.

00:18:16.007 --> 00:18:18.547
So and so needs this, work needs this.

00:18:18.567 --> 00:18:21.467
And I was like, finally, I can't function.

00:18:21.856 --> 00:18:24.696
Anymore, don't let yourself get to that point.

00:18:24.707 --> 00:18:25.366
No, okay.

00:18:25.366 --> 00:18:25.946
So Randy.

00:18:26.027 --> 00:18:26.636
Yes.

00:18:26.747 --> 00:18:28.346
Are there treatments that can ease?

00:18:28.416 --> 00:18:29.997
Perimenopausal symptoms,

00:18:30.106 --> 00:18:39.701
there's lots of different Paths to relief from like I talked about hormone replacement therapy, which is often called HRT.

00:18:39.731 --> 00:18:40.001
Yeah.

00:18:40.001 --> 00:18:45.642
HRT to lifestyle adjustments with diet, exercise.

00:18:45.672 --> 00:18:53.741
Really you need to discuss it with, a therapist or a doctor to come up with a personalized plan for yourself.

00:18:53.811 --> 00:18:57.132
You might have to try different things and see if they work for you.

00:18:57.132 --> 00:19:07.192
If you want to try a more natural, route, or if you want to try, there's That's There's pills you can take, there's patches you can take, I think some people do like a pellet that you can.

00:19:07.332 --> 00:19:10.711
Yeah, that's the bio, bio something.

00:19:10.721 --> 00:19:13.821
It's, it's, it is bio that you stick

00:19:13.821 --> 00:19:17.352
like in, bio identity hormones that you stick in like your butt fat.

00:19:17.392 --> 00:19:19.461
I think insurance doesn't cover it.

00:19:19.541 --> 00:19:23.944
You have to research what works for you financially and for your body I will

00:19:23.944 --> 00:19:29.795
tell you though, is that a lot of people are staying away from hormone replacement therapy.

00:19:29.825 --> 00:19:29.914
Mm-Hmm.

00:19:30.184 --> 00:19:33.934
because it has been linked to higher risk of breast cancer.

00:19:33.964 --> 00:19:34.355
Yes.

00:19:34.454 --> 00:19:36.404
And uterine cancer as well.

00:19:36.404 --> 00:19:36.405
Mm-Hmm.

00:19:36.411 --> 00:19:36.549
Yeah.

00:19:36.549 --> 00:19:36.670
Mm-Hmm.

00:19:36.981 --> 00:19:45.501
My grandmother on my dad's side and my grandmother on my mother's side both ended up with breast cancer due to hormone replacement therapy.

00:19:45.771 --> 00:19:49.521
So my mom didn't do hormone replacement therapy and neither did I.

00:19:49.922 --> 00:19:53.592
And if you can't do hormones, the other option is an SSNI.

00:19:53.592 --> 00:19:56.612
It's not an SSRI.

00:19:56.622 --> 00:19:57.912
It's an SSRI.

00:19:58.497 --> 00:19:59.207
I always forget.

00:19:59.207 --> 00:20:01.126
It's Effexor and Paxil.

00:20:01.227 --> 00:20:07.717
Those are the two antidepressants, anti anxieties that have shown to help with perimenopause.

00:20:08.326 --> 00:20:09.967
It helps with the hot flashes.

00:20:09.967 --> 00:20:11.196
It helps with the sleep.

00:20:11.366 --> 00:20:12.257
S N R I.

00:20:12.277 --> 00:20:13.307
S N R I.

00:20:13.366 --> 00:20:13.457
So

00:20:13.757 --> 00:20:18.846
serotonin and non adrenal repetate inhibitors.

00:20:19.096 --> 00:20:20.936
That's what it stands for.

00:20:21.682 --> 00:20:21.741
It's

00:20:21.741 --> 00:20:21.821
a

00:20:21.821 --> 00:20:22.412
mouthful.

00:20:22.511 --> 00:20:22.721
That is.

00:20:22.731 --> 00:20:23.582
You don't need to know that.

00:20:23.582 --> 00:20:24.001
No, no, no.

00:20:24.321 --> 00:20:26.372
But there are two of them that help with it.

00:20:26.382 --> 00:20:28.041
So it is Paxil and Effexor.

00:20:28.041 --> 00:20:33.942
And those are the ones that the doctors will give you if you need help and you don't want to do hormone replacement.

00:20:34.412 --> 00:20:37.311
I've heard of things like Yam Cream and things like that.

00:20:37.311 --> 00:20:37.801
I don't.

00:20:37.832 --> 00:20:38.481
things.

00:20:38.511 --> 00:20:41.582
I tried a bunch of different ones off Amazon.

00:20:42.676 --> 00:20:43.957
For me, they didn't help.

00:20:43.967 --> 00:20:46.196
I've known that they've helped other people.

00:20:46.207 --> 00:20:50.116
sometimes it's, hit and miss, you gotta try stuff, and Throw whatever you

00:20:50.116 --> 00:20:51.467
can at it and see what sticks.

00:20:51.497 --> 00:20:56.967
I mean, seriously, I was spraying myself with this spray, I was trying to do anything I could to try to help it.

00:20:56.987 --> 00:20:57.307
Right,

00:20:57.307 --> 00:21:06.973
and that's for me, I was like, Okay, I know that, hormone replacement therapy Has a lot of side effects, but it was worth it to me to explore that.

00:21:07.023 --> 00:21:11.324
If you don't have the history, the family history of it, then you're probably going to be fine.

00:21:11.544 --> 00:21:12.933
Unfortunately I did.

00:21:12.933 --> 00:21:15.443
And so I've never been able to do the hormones.

00:21:15.913 --> 00:21:23.483
how does the, how does the perimenopause, how does perimenopause impact sexuality and intimacy, Randy?

00:21:23.673 --> 00:21:26.023
It can really decrease your libido.

00:21:26.544 --> 00:21:29.604
And for some women too, it can cause vaginal dryness.

00:21:29.614 --> 00:21:30.354
So then that.

00:21:30.554 --> 00:21:32.993
That could be painful, if you're having intercourse.

00:21:33.344 --> 00:21:44.884
And so you really need to learn how to communicate with your partner that you need these things or maybe that's why you are interested in sex right now.

00:21:45.284 --> 00:21:48.534
And so really opening up those lines of communication.

00:21:49.459 --> 00:22:05.638
Um, with your partner to find what you need, and that that's why it's not that you don't find them attractive or, you don't want to, but if your body physically is just like, Nope maybe there's a reason because you need to stop and take care of yourself.

00:22:05.739 --> 00:22:12.078
There's also some sort of a string, estrogen string that people use inside their vagina.

00:22:12.443 --> 00:22:14.344
To help with the lube piece of it.

00:22:14.624 --> 00:22:15.263
Okay.

00:22:15.364 --> 00:22:15.713
I know.

00:22:17.253 --> 00:22:25.574
It's like some sort of like, it's like a per, I don't, maybe I'm not thinking pearls, but it's some sort of a string with estrogen on it that helps obviously it's prescription.

00:22:25.604 --> 00:22:26.074
Oh, so

00:22:26.074 --> 00:22:27.653
there is a vaginal ring.

00:22:27.753 --> 00:22:29.973
So the, it's called E string.

00:22:29.973 --> 00:22:30.243
Yeah.

00:22:30.243 --> 00:22:30.513
E string.

00:22:30.513 --> 00:22:33.173
So it's a estradol vaginal ring.

00:22:33.483 --> 00:22:53.483
I take the estradol patches that I just put on my body because I can't, remember to take, a medicine, but you could also do this if you are experiencing the vaginal dryness, you can ask, or if you're having, some women after menopause get vaginal atrophy, which is, I'm looking at me like, I was like,

00:22:53.743 --> 00:22:53.963
how

00:22:54.084 --> 00:22:54.163
would

00:22:54.163 --> 00:22:54.284
your

00:22:54.284 --> 00:22:54.963
vagina

00:22:55.044 --> 00:22:55.844
atrophy?

00:22:57.003 --> 00:22:59.114
I'm going to have to look that up and it happens.

00:22:59.124 --> 00:23:02.483
Especially older women, so this can help with that.

00:23:02.723 --> 00:23:08.564
It's interesting is that after the age of 65 or 70, Medicare stops paying for this.

00:23:08.993 --> 00:23:10.413
They figure you're 70.

00:23:10.594 --> 00:23:11.864
You don't need to have sex anymore.

00:23:12.034 --> 00:23:12.233
Yeah.

00:23:12.233 --> 00:23:12.673
I don't know.

00:23:12.673 --> 00:23:12.713
That's

00:23:12.713 --> 00:23:13.023
rude.

00:23:13.269 --> 00:23:13.689
Isn't it?

00:23:13.828 --> 00:23:14.759
I'm retired.

00:23:14.818 --> 00:23:15.959
What else am I gonna do?

00:23:16.699 --> 00:23:18.148
I finally got the kids out of

00:23:18.148 --> 00:23:18.169
the

00:23:18.169 --> 00:23:18.409
damn

00:23:18.409 --> 00:23:18.699
house.

00:23:19.209 --> 00:23:27.648
Okay, so is it normal to feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster during panamenop, panamenop, panamenopause?

00:23:27.648 --> 00:23:29.919
Panamenopause?

00:23:29.919 --> 00:23:31.159
Panty, panty pause?

00:23:31.159 --> 00:23:33.479
I should call it panty pause.

00:23:33.558 --> 00:23:34.659
Oh, that's hilarious.

00:23:34.659 --> 00:23:35.148
I'm quoting that

00:23:35.148 --> 00:23:35.778
term right now.

00:23:36.058 --> 00:23:36.959
Panty pause.

00:23:37.528 --> 00:23:37.858
Yes.

00:23:38.233 --> 00:23:41.384
It is so normal, so, so normal.

00:23:41.443 --> 00:23:44.114
Just to be so moody and to not know.

00:23:44.413 --> 00:23:49.394
It's like remember when you were in puberty, you'd be angry and you wouldn't know why.

00:23:49.394 --> 00:23:51.074
Or maybe we can't remember that far back.

00:23:51.074 --> 00:23:53.443
Look at your kids in puberty, right?

00:23:53.564 --> 00:23:57.433
They're in puberty and they're moody as shit, and you're just like, whoa, the hell's over there.

00:23:57.719 --> 00:23:58.808
It's the same thing.

00:23:59.019 --> 00:24:00.328
It's the exact same thing.

00:24:00.348 --> 00:24:06.358
And my poor husband had, we had a perimenopause and puberty happening at the same time in our house.

00:24:06.409 --> 00:24:07.419
Oh, yeah.

00:24:07.499 --> 00:24:08.259
That's fun.

00:24:08.588 --> 00:24:09.669
Let me tell you.

00:24:11.028 --> 00:24:16.128
So with perimenopause, are we also at risk for other health issues?

00:24:17.294 --> 00:24:22.943
I think this is when we end up having to watch more of what we eat and take care of ourselves.

00:24:23.233 --> 00:24:27.544
This is where we have to do more of like the weightlifting versus the cardio.

00:24:27.574 --> 00:24:27.864
Oh

00:24:27.864 --> 00:24:28.203
yeah.

00:24:28.243 --> 00:24:31.294
My doctor was saying to do resistance training.

00:24:31.294 --> 00:24:31.683
Yes.

00:24:31.693 --> 00:24:33.844
She was saying like, don't do cardio.

00:24:33.884 --> 00:24:34.884
It's not going to help.

00:24:34.894 --> 00:24:35.094
Nope.

00:24:35.423 --> 00:24:39.003
Like she was like, you need to do resistance training, which you can see here in my office.

00:24:39.003 --> 00:24:41.983
I have all my lovely they're all pink by the way.

00:24:41.983 --> 00:24:42.163
Yeah.

00:24:42.163 --> 00:24:44.713
I've got cute like kettle balls weight.

00:24:44.775 --> 00:24:49.154
balls and resistant training bands that I have not used.

00:24:50.015 --> 00:24:50.704
But they look good.

00:24:50.835 --> 00:24:52.154
They look like they're there.

00:24:52.154 --> 00:24:55.815
They're ready for me when I'm ready to do my resistance training.

00:24:56.204 --> 00:24:57.194
The other day, Randy,

00:24:57.285 --> 00:24:58.464
The lady that does my Botox.

00:24:58.755 --> 00:25:02.605
She, I do right here for your angry 11.

00:25:02.964 --> 00:25:03.944
I don't have an angry 11.

00:25:03.944 --> 00:25:05.075
I have a big fuck you one.

00:25:05.075 --> 00:25:09.434
So I got rid of that anyway.

00:25:09.755 --> 00:25:10.545
See, I can't do it.

00:25:10.964 --> 00:25:11.474
I can't do it.

00:25:11.625 --> 00:25:11.994
Oh, yeah.

00:25:11.994 --> 00:25:12.325
Okay.

00:25:12.855 --> 00:25:17.404
She had this chair and it was made for women who laugh, you pee a little bit.

00:25:17.505 --> 00:25:17.765
Yeah.

00:25:17.765 --> 00:25:18.944
And you're, that's

00:25:18.964 --> 00:25:19.884
not supposed to happen.

00:25:19.884 --> 00:25:20.835
I just found out.

00:25:20.845 --> 00:25:24.565
My doctor said I needed to do pelvic floor therapy.

00:25:25.375 --> 00:25:27.984
Because I was like, yeah, I, I pee when I laugh.

00:25:28.015 --> 00:25:29.474
And she's like, that's not normal.

00:25:29.474 --> 00:25:32.414
We teach women that it's normal, but it's not.

00:25:32.444 --> 00:25:39.605
No, you can do pelvic floor to get that, but she's got this chair that you sit on and it has a little bump in the middle of his chair.

00:25:39.954 --> 00:25:44.704
And it like, you just put it right between pairing right between your perennial.

00:25:44.714 --> 00:25:45.194
Thank you.

00:25:45.214 --> 00:25:45.744
That one.

00:25:45.744 --> 00:25:46.795
I was like, what is that right there?

00:25:46.795 --> 00:25:47.615
I'm making a little wiggle.

00:25:48.025 --> 00:25:48.525
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:48.525 --> 00:25:48.884
That one.

00:25:49.295 --> 00:25:54.605
You put it right there, and then it like, it like, vibrates or does something, so it's like doing a million Kegels.

00:25:55.164 --> 00:25:56.835
Oh! Without you doing it.

00:25:57.525 --> 00:25:59.255
That's very interesting.

00:25:59.285 --> 00:26:00.315
I need to look that up.

00:26:00.345 --> 00:26:01.505
I'll put that on the website.

00:26:02.095 --> 00:26:03.875
Yes! She's she's down the road.

00:26:03.934 --> 00:26:07.714
And it's just this chair, this this specialized chair they have now for women.

00:26:07.934 --> 00:26:10.605
So you don't have to sit there and do it, it does it for you.

00:26:11.275 --> 00:26:15.394
And it helps you with the incontinence, because that's also part of perimenopause.

00:26:15.414 --> 00:26:21.625
Again, you can do this chair thingy, or you can do, like, after you have a baby, if you still have that issue, Mm hmm.

00:26:21.634 --> 00:26:23.595
You can, like you said, do pelvic floor.

00:26:23.595 --> 00:26:25.644
There's a lot of different pelvic floor stuff.

00:26:26.125 --> 00:26:29.392
And did you know the pelvic floor stuff goes up your butt sometimes?

00:26:29.571 --> 00:26:30.031
What?

00:26:30.721 --> 00:26:33.821
You think that pelvic floor stuff is just through your vagina, right?

00:26:34.281 --> 00:26:38.561
Well, I mean, your whole, like Lower half area, right?

00:26:38.761 --> 00:26:39.791
Do you know how they do it?

00:26:40.051 --> 00:26:42.092
No, because I haven't gone.

00:26:42.231 --> 00:26:46.451
She gave me a prescription to go see the physical therapist for it, but I haven't gone.

00:26:46.672 --> 00:26:47.832
They will, put

00:26:47.832 --> 00:26:52.362
themselves up inside you and massage like your, your insides.

00:26:53.142 --> 00:26:57.005
And some people, they have to do it rectally because it helps better.

00:26:57.015 --> 00:26:57.884
No, but stuff here.

00:26:59.585 --> 00:27:02.505
I didn't know that either until somebody told me and I was like, really?

00:27:02.924 --> 00:27:04.345
And I guess, we need to research

00:27:04.345 --> 00:27:05.755
that a little bit more before we

00:27:05.795 --> 00:27:07.025
put that out there.

00:27:07.025 --> 00:27:07.615
No, it's true.

00:27:08.015 --> 00:27:08.785
It's totally true.

00:27:09.664 --> 00:27:10.035
Okay.

00:27:10.255 --> 00:27:14.515
But we probably should talk more about that because I didn't know either as a therapist.

00:27:14.515 --> 00:27:19.670
And I was like, Oh, I did not know that, and I wouldn't have known that unless somebody shared that with me.

00:27:19.779 --> 00:27:23.059
Yeah, I mean, rectally you could have issues there, too.

00:27:23.059 --> 00:27:24.180
Yeah, it's your wall.

00:27:24.190 --> 00:27:25.349
It's the wall right there,

00:27:25.349 --> 00:27:27.380
and that's where a lot of that pressure comes from.

00:27:27.380 --> 00:27:27.950
So, anyway.

00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:28.410
Well, because, I mean,

00:27:28.410 --> 00:27:33.529
you can tear, too, during childbirth so I guess it could weaken, all of that whole area.

00:27:33.910 --> 00:27:35.950
So, anyways, that's a whole other podcast.

00:27:35.950 --> 00:27:36.559
That's a whole other

00:27:36.559 --> 00:27:36.920
podcast.

00:27:36.950 --> 00:27:38.900
Okay, so, this is the one that I freaked out on.

00:27:38.970 --> 00:27:41.089
Can I still get pregnant during perimenopause?

00:27:41.410 --> 00:27:41.950
Yes.

00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:46.220
And do you know how many women take pregnancy tests because their periods are off?

00:27:46.460 --> 00:27:47.000
Oh, yeah.

00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:48.630
And they're like, oh, fuck, am I pregnant?

00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:49.119
Oh, God.

00:27:49.150 --> 00:27:49.960
No, no, I'm not pregnant.

00:27:49.980 --> 00:27:50.339
Okay.

00:27:50.640 --> 00:27:52.759
Because your cycle starts getting funky.

00:27:52.980 --> 00:27:53.349
Right.

00:27:53.369 --> 00:27:55.049
But you can still get knocked up.

00:27:55.049 --> 00:28:00.730
So either have your man get snip snipped or stay on some type of contraceptive.

00:28:00.970 --> 00:28:06.470
If you are exhausted like we are when you're older and do not want to get knocked up.

00:28:07.069 --> 00:28:07.529
God,

00:28:07.529 --> 00:28:13.029
you hear about those women that would be like, almost 50 and having kids because they got pregnant during perimenopause.

00:28:13.210 --> 00:28:17.130
Yeah, because they thought that they couldn't conceive because their body was changing.

00:28:17.130 --> 00:28:17.869
And that's not true.

00:28:17.869 --> 00:28:19.710
You are still ovulating.

00:28:19.740 --> 00:28:20.085
It just doesn't work.

00:28:21.085 --> 00:28:23.644
That's like, you can't get pregnant when you're on your period.

00:28:24.134 --> 00:28:25.174
No, no.

00:28:25.214 --> 00:28:25.615
Oh, yeah.

00:28:25.994 --> 00:28:28.244
Or the, uh, oh, you can't get pregnant the first time.

00:28:28.315 --> 00:28:29.714
Remember those stupid things when we were

00:28:29.714 --> 00:28:30.065
kids?

00:28:30.525 --> 00:28:30.964
Yeah.

00:28:31.065 --> 00:28:37.535
So what lifestyle changes can we do to support ourselves going through perimenopause?

00:28:38.910 --> 00:28:43.839
First it's going to be stress reduction, reduce your stress, reduce your drinking.

00:28:43.869 --> 00:28:44.319
Oh yeah.

00:28:44.319 --> 00:28:48.440
That's like when you can't drink red wines anymore, it's cannons get to you.

00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:53.289
And so a lot of people have to cut back or just quit drinking entirely because they can't do it anymore.

00:28:53.670 --> 00:28:56.349
Exercising regularly, making sure you take care of yourself.

00:28:56.349 --> 00:28:59.029
Like Randy said, more of the resistance training,

00:28:59.710 --> 00:29:01.549
going on walks, eating better.

00:29:01.924 --> 00:29:05.265
Yeah, better sleep habits if you can get, I know, if you can get

00:29:05.265 --> 00:29:05.765
sleep.

00:29:07.144 --> 00:29:07.934
And be

00:29:07.954 --> 00:29:13.634
gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, have understanding with what you're going through.

00:29:13.815 --> 00:29:14.684
Compassion.

00:29:15.174 --> 00:29:16.404
Self compassion for yourself.

00:29:16.404 --> 00:29:16.815
Okay.

00:29:16.845 --> 00:29:22.914
So practical support that we need while we're feeling like we are out of control.

00:29:23.164 --> 00:29:23.494
Okay.

00:29:23.494 --> 00:29:24.444
Household chore help.

00:29:25.234 --> 00:29:26.875
Alright, so let's talk about that.

00:29:27.224 --> 00:29:28.565
What does that look like, Randi?

00:29:28.674 --> 00:29:29.865
What does household chore look like?

00:29:30.038 --> 00:29:32.259
Who's supposed to get the damn chores to get the chores done?

00:29:33.588 --> 00:29:33.919
Sorry.

00:29:33.949 --> 00:29:34.659
Soapbox time.

00:29:34.659 --> 00:29:34.878
Ready?

00:29:35.048 --> 00:29:35.298
Ready?

00:29:35.588 --> 00:29:45.469
So you need to communicate with your partner, your family, your kids, everybody, your whole household that everybody needs to be helping.

00:29:46.074 --> 00:29:53.743
Mom, partner, wife, fur, mom, whoever you are, that, this is a partnership.

00:29:53.804 --> 00:30:02.763
We all need to be pitching on mom needs to take, or I, cut out mom, I as a woman need time to get my shit together.

00:30:03.294 --> 00:30:05.044
So everybody, all hands on deck.

00:30:05.263 --> 00:30:05.874
All hands on deck.

00:30:05.884 --> 00:30:06.713
And you know what I said?

00:30:06.814 --> 00:30:10.503
I said, I am no longer putting into people who are no longer, who are not putting into me.

00:30:10.789 --> 00:30:11.069
Yeah.

00:30:11.069 --> 00:30:15.849
Whether that's your kids or half of those boundaries, have that conversation.

00:30:16.440 --> 00:30:18.799
Mom's fed up or I'm fed up.

00:30:19.259 --> 00:30:20.240
I need help.

00:30:20.539 --> 00:30:23.130
You need a, I'm not doing everything by myself.

00:30:23.150 --> 00:30:23.890
I don't need help.

00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:25.559
I need participation, right?

00:30:25.569 --> 00:30:28.789
You are not helping me by doing your dishes, right?

00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:30.670
You are participating in this family.

00:30:31.240 --> 00:30:32.839
Alleviate some of the stress.

00:30:32.849 --> 00:30:33.049
Yes.

00:30:33.329 --> 00:30:34.589
Be a good roommate.

00:30:35.589 --> 00:30:36.329
Partner.

00:30:37.704 --> 00:30:38.484
Just otherwise.

00:30:38.515 --> 00:30:38.845
Mm-Hmm.

00:30:38.845 --> 00:30:40.015
You're gonna be three states away.

00:30:41.244 --> 00:30:43.855
Without me, I'll be, I'll be somewhere else

00:30:44.184 --> 00:30:46.884
and really build a supportive network.

00:30:46.884 --> 00:30:50.335
So just what does a supportive network look like?

00:30:50.996 --> 00:30:54.905
A supportive network is having your doctor or your one

00:30:54.905 --> 00:30:57.935
that understands this and is educated about it.

00:30:57.986 --> 00:30:58.786
Exactly.

00:30:59.036 --> 00:31:09.435
Having friends that understand whether it's your church, whether it's, a mom's group or like this group that Randy and I probably are going to put together, right?

00:31:09.445 --> 00:31:10.925
Like a support

00:31:10.945 --> 00:31:12.076
group, whether that's.

00:31:12.326 --> 00:31:27.786
Therapists or online friends, whoever you need to help you understand what's going on while you're walking through this and empathize with the challenges that perimenopause really brings to women's doorstep.

00:31:27.885 --> 00:31:28.955
You are not crazy.

00:31:29.096 --> 00:31:30.006
You are not crazy.

00:31:30.026 --> 00:31:34.125
This is just a crazy feeling moment in your life.

00:31:34.871 --> 00:31:35.931
And it does get better.

00:31:35.931 --> 00:31:37.750
Let me tell you, I'm on the other side of it.

00:31:37.800 --> 00:31:38.500
Yeah, she keeps

00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:40.851
telling me, it's gonna be okay, Randy.

00:31:40.851 --> 00:31:41.351
And I'm like,

00:31:41.560 --> 00:31:42.340
if you say so.

00:31:42.921 --> 00:31:44.141
It's going to be okay.

00:31:44.161 --> 00:31:45.941
It gets so much better.

00:31:46.090 --> 00:31:50.560
It gets so much better when we get to the other side of it.

00:31:50.611 --> 00:31:55.730
Yes, we have other issues now we have to look for, but we're not, I'm not moody.

00:31:56.310 --> 00:32:02.038
Like I was, well, I'm still moody, but not like I was during not, not like the roller coaster up and down, the

00:32:02.048 --> 00:32:03.288
roller coaster of it.

00:32:03.327 --> 00:32:11.107
And we need to remember that this journey that we're on is unique for each of us as a woman.

00:32:11.557 --> 00:32:17.057
And we need to understand that and we need to validate that with not only ourselves, but with each other.

00:32:17.367 --> 00:32:23.048
And when we support each other through these life stages, it can make such a significant difference.

00:32:23.288 --> 00:32:28.760
difference in your mental, emotional, and physical well being.

00:32:29.111 --> 00:32:30.371
And sexual well being.

00:32:30.381 --> 00:32:30.871
Yes.

00:32:30.901 --> 00:32:32.111
Let's not forget about that.

00:32:32.372 --> 00:32:36.412
There's a big piece of connecting with your partner or yourself

00:32:36.751 --> 00:32:37.602
through sex.

00:32:37.622 --> 00:32:37.862
Right.

00:32:37.862 --> 00:32:53.872
I kept thinking like I was broken because like I wasn't, I'm not interested in it anymore, and I couldn't understand why, like, all of a sudden it was just like a light switch turned off, and, I was going to therapy, and I was, trying, other medicines and supplements.

00:32:53.882 --> 00:32:55.571
That's not what I thought she was going to say.

00:32:56.271 --> 00:32:59.142
I really didn't think that was I'm not gonna talk about that, Jess.

00:32:59.142 --> 00:33:00.011
Just kidding.

00:33:00.142 --> 00:33:00.942
We should talk about that.

00:33:00.942 --> 00:33:12.251
I will talk about that because I even tried all of that stuff, like bringing, toys and other things and I just wasn't my body was just like, no, brakes are on, we're not going anywhere.

00:33:12.261 --> 00:33:13.271
She's on a panty break.

00:33:14.622 --> 00:33:20.422
And so it was so frustrating because I was like, this is something that I usually enjoy, so why?

00:33:20.852 --> 00:33:22.461
Am I hitting this brick wall?

00:33:22.471 --> 00:33:32.432
So when we understand it more, we can strengthen ourselves and our resiliency to walking through this life stage.

00:33:32.481 --> 00:33:32.721
Yeah.

00:33:32.761 --> 00:33:33.501
You're not alone.

00:33:33.521 --> 00:33:35.632
You, you are really not alone.

00:33:35.932 --> 00:33:39.602
And once you can go, ah, this is what's going on.

00:33:40.092 --> 00:33:42.731
It'll normalize it for you and for others.

00:33:43.102 --> 00:33:45.771
And it's just, you can, you don't have to do it.

00:33:46.048 --> 00:33:49.268
So frustratingly without medication or without help.

00:33:49.337 --> 00:33:49.738
Mm hmm.

00:33:49.778 --> 00:33:51.327
You don't have to do this alone

00:33:51.498 --> 00:33:59.478
And that's why we've created this community and that's why we're here And I think that this is a really great idea that we should create this support network.

00:33:59.498 --> 00:34:06.352
Yeah for this specifically So look for that information to on our website women's health MentalHealthPodcast.

00:34:06.392 --> 00:34:13.632
com because I think we're going to do something with that there and really learn to prioritize your mental and physical health.

00:34:13.641 --> 00:34:17.882
You deserve to thrive, not just survive.

00:34:18.213 --> 00:34:19.003
Oh, I like that.

00:34:19.173 --> 00:34:20.054
I really like that.

00:34:20.403 --> 00:34:20.744
All right.

00:34:20.764 --> 00:34:21.463
Take care, guys.

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