Self-Care Through Decluttering

Randi: 0:14

Welcome to the Women's Mental Health Podcast with Randi and Jess. We're two licensed psychotherapists, and we talk about mental health, well-being, and strategies for coping with life's ups and downs. And

Jess: 0:25

how it's all normal.

Randi: 0:27

Today's episode is about a powerful yet underestimated topic: the impact of decluttering on mental health, and also the impact of clutter on your mental health. This episode aims to explore the impact of decluttering on women's mental health overall, offering insight into its effects and strategies for implementation. Embracing decluttering as a means of promoting mental well-being involves creating spaces that foster peace and clarity for yourself.

Jess: 0:55

Oh my gosh. Yes. Peace and clarity. So find us and more resources on womensmentalhealthpodcast.com. So now we're going to do our have-you-ever

Randi: 1:04

I thought, Why does decluttering or clutter, for that matter, impact women's mental health? Can

Jess: 1:13

decluttering really reduces stress and

Randi: 1:15

anxiety? How does decluttering or organization promote self-care? Oh yeah, that's

Jess: 1:21

a good one. Yeah, that is a good one. Can decluttering affect our relationships positively? And can clutter affect

Randi: 1:29

them negatively? Yeah, definitely. And can decluttering save us money or, on the contrary,  does clutter cost us money?

Jess: 1:38

Oh, okay. And then, how do I get started with decluttering?

Randi: 1:42

What if I struggle with letting go of sentimental items, hoarding, or things like that? That's a big one.

Jess: 1:50

Can decluttering be a transformative journey?

Randi: 1:53

I feel like, yeah, I can say that any transformative journey is hard, but it's hard to say that word, but I think that it can be a very great personal transformation when you declutter, almost like a rebirth when you get rid of stuff that's weighing you down. And how can I sustain the benefits of decluttering in the long term? Like, how do I keep this going so the clutter doesn't pile up again? Well, and when we're talking about

Jess: 2:20

decluttering, I don't think we're talking about going minimalistic, right? We're not saying get rid of

Randi: 2:25

of everything. No, it's not like wiping out and starting all over, though sometimes that is helpful. But just those, I call them doom piles, like I keep piles because of my ADHD, like I just will amass piles of like paperwork or like clothes, and they're just like everywhere around my house or doom drawers where I just like shove everything in there or a closet. I call it contained

Jess: 2:49

chaos. Oh, I like that. Contained

Randi: 2:51

chaos. That's more positive. Than a junk drawer. Yeah, then doom.

Jess: 2:55

Haha. Nice. When we talk about decluttering, it really involves intentional organization, sorting, and removing unnecessary items from our physical spaces. Most of us have so much stuff.

Randi: 3:10

So much stuff. Well, we live in a culture that is very much stuff-based; we're big consumers. Schism-based society. And so we're taught that having more is fulfilling, and more is better. And whether that's bigger portions or bigger houses or, and I found too, when I had a larger house, I just filled it with more stuff that I didn't need. I know my

Jess: 3:35

My husband is like, Okay, now are you going to fill this house too? Yeah. And I do. And I take it, get a space, fill it, and remove it as part of my ADHD. And I found it's actually cheaper for me to have Target and Walmart deliver stuff to me and pay the $4 delivery fee than me walking through the aisle because their marketing is so darn good that I'm like, I need those PJs

Randi: 3:57

for each holiday. So all the impulse buys. Yes. That's why, same thing with Sam's Club or Costco. I also, even though it's more expensive to get it, like the price of all the items if you do Instacart or whatever, it still saves me so much money because I'm not impulse buying things that I don't need. I'm just buying what I need—the basics. So it's actually those subscription services for delivery, even if they're like 100 a year, 30 a year, or whatever. It's still cheaper than paying gas, wasting my time, and impulse buying everything and putting it in my target car.

Jess: 4:34

One year, I came home with snowshoes. And my husband was like, Are you really going to go snowshoeing?

Randi: 4:41

Oh, those types of snowshoes! Yes! Yes! The actual snowshoes. I thought you meant like boots. No!

Jess: 4:47

I was going to go snowshoeing. And I was like, he was like, You are not going to go snowshoeing. I was like, I might. I thought that made me think. I want to be that person. So I took him back because I was like, yeah, he's right. I'm not going to go snowshoeing. And that was such an impulse, like, Oh, they have snowshoes. I must get a pair. Right. I

Randi: 5:04

don't have those. For me, I used to be like a big couponer. And I still run a group about saving money. So when I see a deal, I have to, like, sometimes talk myself out of it. Do I have the space for this? Is this something I really need? Because when I was younger and we had no money, we would, I would like extreme coupons, and so we would like to stockpile things because we couldn't afford them, so it's like getting toothpaste for free or deodorant or whatever was a means to end. Now I don't have the space for that. And I don't need to do that necessarily. But it's still ingrained in me. So I have to be like, okay, Randy This is just going to take up space. Are you really going to use this? Are you going to use this before it expires? Am I going to go snowshoeing in the spring? No, no, no. And you know,

Jess: 5:51

like, Was it Halloween? I was at one of the stores, and they had a coupon for like $1 off. Then they had these gigantic boxes of cereal that were Halloween cereal for 2. And I was like, Oh, Oh, it's a dollar for a big box of cereal. And I bought six boxes. And I was like, why? Yeah, it was 6. And so I ended up giving him out because I was like, I don't know, I couldn't help it. But my kid isn't going to eat six boxes of that cereal. And so yeah, it is that that's one of the things for decluttering, Is to not bring that

Randi: 6:20

stuff in. Or if you do bring things in to take something else out that you don't need, which is something that I yes. I tell myself that if I'm buying something, then I need to remove something else. And I do that with my kids too, like around holidays or birthdays, like if they're getting new toys or new clothes, then they need to go through and get rid of and donate toys they don't play with anymore or clothes that don't fit them anymore. And then, when you donate them to somebody in need,. But that means they have that mentality. I moved a lot when I was younger, in my 20s and 30s. I have a hard time letting go of things. And so I don't want my kids to carry around stuff they're never going to actually use. from place to place. Because clutter isn't just physical. I know it

Jess: 7:12

isn't, but have you seen those recent reels? This is the stuff that makes me go. Oh, I should have kept that. Like one of the reels I saw recently, they're like, Oh man, I wish I had a 2x4 with this bolted in and da da da, and the guy goes, Oh! And then he goes running down to his basement, and he finds this one piece of wood that he's had in the back, and he's like, Ta da! Like, never throw it away. Mm hmm. But he had to dig through everything.

Randi: 7:34

heck of stuff to do it. That's the thing, and a lot of times I think I have something and then I can't find it because I have so much crap, and then I just end up buying another one, and then I find it after, and then I have two of the things, and then it's usually something I'm only going to use like once a year, so I have to tell myself if I'm going to really use this within six months. If you guys know me or follow me on social media, you know I have a clothing problem. I Yes, I have. I have a lot of clothes. Yes. And so I do the trick where I turn my hangers backwards. And so if six months or eight months or whatever, if I haven't worn that, in that amount of time, my hanger hasn't been turned around; I haven't pulled it off the hanger and used it. Then it's going in the donation pile

Jess: 8:24

that's actually not a bad idea I should try that because there's some things I'm like, I might wear that one day, but then

Randi: 8:30

sometimes I just leave it

Jess: 8:36

You know the problem with that, though, is that it really creates so much like stress and overwhelming anxiety Just anything like that, like, Oh, I should be wearing it, should be using this, or I shouldn't have done that, right? And then it

Randi: 8:47

comes like this weird, like guilt. And then, or like I do this thing where I'm like, I'm going to sell this. And then it just sits in my garage for, like, a year. Yeah. Or I do. I've seen funny TikToks and reels to say, Okay, I've donated all my items, but first I'm going to drive around with them in my trunk for a year. Before I go, donate them to Goodwill or whatever. And my daughter sent me one the other day, and I was laughing so hard because we literally both have donation boxes in our trunk that have been in there for months. And I'm like, okay, today's the day. I swear, I'm going to go drop them

Jess: 9:20

off. See, and that's why I don't even do that anymore. I do it on our free site in our community because somebody will come and pick it up within a day, depending on what it is. And sometimes I'm like, Ooh, I need one piece of this paper instead of buying the whole thing. I'm like, Does anybody have that? And sometimes they do. And you go get it. You're

Randi: 9:39

like, okay, cool. Yeah, so that's the nice thing about community groups You can reach out to people in your village and say, Hey, does somebody have this? So with a cluttered environment, it often reflects on our mind that our mind is cluttered, and it can really disrupt our focus. It can increase our cortisol levels. So what does that do? Just when our cortisol levels increase, it makes

Jess: 10:05

Our bellies get fat. Sorry, that's not a good word. It makes our bellies get bigger and it makes our

Randi: 10:12

stress just so

Jess: 10:13

high when our cortisol levels are just so

Randi: 10:16

out of control. So with all this cluttered environment and cluttered mind, your focus. This is off. This can all contribute to a sense of chaos in your life and feeling disconnected, disrupted, or like you're totally disorganized. And that can then cause procrastination and stuff because you're just so overwhelmed. Yes. Yeah. I know that with ADHD, you get stuck, frozen, frozen, and so you get so overwhelmed that you just can't do anything at all. And it's like you want to analyze. Yeah, it's like it lies. Yeah, it's like your mind is paralyzed. And you're like, I need to do this. I want to do this. This has to be done. I need it. But you're just like that, so you can't. You are your body and just gets frozen and you're like, I can't do anything about it

Jess: 11:04

And the thing is that our homes are supposed to be our sanctuaries Mm hmm. Our homes are supposed to be where we come home, and we're safe, right? We're comfortable. Yeah, where the relax Yeah, whatever it is that makes you feel happy.

Randi: 11:17

Yeah, and that you can refill You're a cop.

Jess: 11:20

Exactly. And if we're coming into chaos, it's really hard, and I've found that I laugh because I find that if I leave one dish in the sink, all of a sudden it multiplies. They're like trouble. And I'm like, I'm like, What happened? So if I let go, everybody else follows my lead. And next thing I know, my entire counter is covered. Like one year. Exactly. In one house, we bought this beautiful granite, picked it out really fancy and I was like, we can never see the damn thing

Randi: 11:50

It's always covered with crap. It's

Jess: 11:51

always covered with crap. I was like, I'm done. I am done. With it being the drop spot,. Mm-Hmm. And so part of it is learning to be specific and intentional about having a more clean and decluttered space. And we're not talking about, again, a minimalist. There's actually the opposite movement right now. Maximalist. Maximalist, but it's

Randi: 12:11

It looks good. Like you can still have. All the things you love around you, but without the clutter, and clutter comes in so many different forms. We'll talk about that in a minute. Really, for mental health, this clutter and disorganization can make things like our anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, or depression so much worse.

Jess: 12:37

And again, you can have all your stuff, but it is more about creating a space that is going to create things like calmness and clarity and it's going to

Randi: 12:48

promote wellbeing. Yeah. Mental wellness. Yeah. And it could be, which leads to physical wellness. And. Better sleep And so when women declutter, they will experience reduced stress, their focus will improve, and you will feel a sense of control. And you can be proud of yourself that you accomplished that. I know I have a really hard time with clutter ADHD. Yep. And it does. It overwhelms me. And so once I reached out to a professional to help me, I thought I was failing miserably by doing this. But once she was able to come in and help me and show me how she organized things, then I was able to replicate it. And I was able to get systems in place that worked with my mind, my patterns, your house, and my house, like my kids, because my kids are both neurodivergent, too. So we're all over the place. So it's trying to manage for people who don't know where to put crap.

Jess: 13:51

There's such a feeling of accomplishment. I know this sounds silly, but I finally Finally, after like two months, folded all of my clothes in four different baskets and

Randi: 13:59

Put them away. Oh my god, you are way ahead of the game. Farther than I am. My clothes are all in piles. I was

Jess: 14:04

like, yes. I felt like a rock star. And then I did laundry, and there are two more baskets. And you're like, oh no. But I felt, oh, I finally got to do that. And it did. It sounds silly, but it was accomplished.

Randi: 14:16

I was just woofing. Well, I think because when we let go of stuff, declutter, and do these things to reduce our stress and help ourselves, we are also letting go of emotional baggage, old habits, or things that don't serve us. We're letting go of that mental clutter. We're finally able to crawl out of it and grasp something physically. Mm hmm. And then I think that that opens up a space in our heads to Oh, like a sigh of relief. Almost. Yeah,

Jess: 14:49

Recently, I went through and took all the pictures in my office down. I went and got a big digital frame. Oh, okay. Yeah. And so I can send the pictures to it. And so, I really love that. It just always flips through. It's always there. I find people walking in and just watching it. And I love that I still have my pictures, but my wall is clear, and for whatever reason, it just made me go. Okay. I can breathe a little bit better in there. And so that is what it does for me: take away some of that clutter and put it somewhere else. Yeah. It just makes me feel like I can breathe. And so when we're doing that, it's starting small, like figuring out what your goal is. And make them achievable, just tackle one area, and we talk about an area. I'm not talking about a room, right?

Randi: 15:38

Like a corner, a corner, talk about, yeah, or like Jess said, like she took photos off her wall and changed them to one digital frame. Same thing. Like the other day, I gave myself the task of clearing off my desk. Oh, I've seen your desk. Oh, it's like mine to ask, but you saw mine. And then I was reading something too about how to organize when you have ADHD or a mental illness, and I have a thing where I feel the need to print everything out on paper. I do, too. And then I don't know if that comes from, like, the age, the era we grew up in of it being cool to print things out. I just love having things in my hand. I love books. I love. Paper. I love stationery. I feel the need to print out everything, and then I just have stacks of paper everywhere.

Jess: 16:29

For me, I feel like if I don't print it out, I'm not going to know; I'll forget

Randi: 16:32

it. But I still forget it and leave it in a pile. In a pile. I Was reading about intentionally Telling myself, do I really need to print this out? Am I going to really use this? Am I going to go back and read it? And if not, then, like having a conversation with myself, I don't need to print this out. And I was like, but that's really true for myself and my style. So find things that weigh you down in certain areas, and just pick one thing a day to do that's achievable. Yeah.

Jess: 17:03

exactly. And that's what I tell people, is to just pick one thing, small, instead of, because so many of us, I get this way too, is okay, I'm going to wait till I have all afternoon

Randi: 17:14

to do this. And I'm going to organize the garage. And then you are so overwhelmed. Or

Jess: 17:19

That afternoon gets shot to sh*t because something happened. Your kid is. Sicker, you have to go pick up this, or you do blah, blah, blah. And so part of it is that if you can just take it, I love talking about chunking it out. Mm-Hmm. Take it, make it small, and just work on it. Even if it's 10 minutes. Right. Because that

Randi: 17:35

10 minutes each day. And put a day and put a timer on. Yeah. And be like, okay. Because a lot of times, too, like I will start doing it and I'll make it into a project and it'll get so big and then I'll tear everything out and apart and then I get distracted or like you said, something else comes up and I can't finish it and then I'm worse off than I was before,

Jess: 17:56

Exactly. Chunk it out. Do small pieces. Like what you said, take your clothes and one day turn them all one way. if you're going to wear them, great. If you're not going to wear them, figure out where they go. Find a community site somewhere if you don't want to carry them around the back of your car. Like me. Somebody will come pick that shit up and, a lot of people resell it and that's great.

Randi: 18:17

That's good for them if they have the time to do that. Yeah, if you don't, that's, I felt, I will feel like so guilty. Oh, I know I should. no, why? It's taking up space. It's taking up my mind. It's taking, it's stressing me out. It's better just to let it go. And that's why it's so important with this to. Be mindful about what brings you joy, what brings you happiness, what fills your cup, and what feels like excess baggage, what feels like it's weighing you down, and And let go. Yeah. And just be like, it's okay, I can let it go. Have a conversation with yourself. Yes. Talk. I'm telling you to talk to yourself. the therapist is telling you to talk to yourself. Randy talk to herself all the time. Oh yeah. But you need to because we are our own worst enemy, critic and enemy. Yeah. And so you have to be like self. Not today if you struggle with this really struggle with it I felt like I was a failure because I could not keep things organized. And I didn't know I had ADHD at the time, though, but Then I was like, okay, like this makes sense and it's okay for me to reach out and get help, whether that's a therapist, a friend or a professional, just somebody that could offer me guidance, help me focus and give me encouragement. And that made all the difference for me when I started the journey of decluttering and learning to organize my space for my mental health and the way that my brain works. And so that's why you need to find what works for you.

Jess: 19:47

exactly. It's different for everybody. And I know all of you have a friend out there that loves to organize.

Randi: 19:52

Oh my gosh, use them. And

Jess: 19:54

they would love to come organize anything in your house. They would love to, they just don't want to be rude But they would just be like,

Randi: 20:01

oh, thank you. I had a, I had a very close friend and she would always be like, can I please come over and organize your closets? And I was like, no, I was like, so ashamed. Embarrassing. And she was like, please, like she loved it and I was like, I don't, I didn't understand it because for me it was such a weight and such a burden. And then finally I was like, all right, fine, come over. And she was just like so giddy and so happy and it helped me. It took something off of my plate, and you

Jess: 20:26

are probably actually helping her because that is her anxiety needs to go

Randi: 20:30

organized, right? And she felt to before she said I was in a way I was blocking what she wanted to give me in our friendship. I wasn't allowing her to help me and she felt like I was keeping her arms length because of that. Because you don't want to dig into your shit, right? And because I didn't want to ask for help because that's not the type of person I am. But she was like offering and offering and I was REJECTED. And then I saw it for what it was and then it was like both a sigh of relief for both of us to be like, okay, because we're not, we're all different and we should celebrate that and utilize the strengths of our friends or family or sister or children or partner, whoever it is, and allow them to step into that space if we don't have the time or the frame for that. And when you,

Jess: 21:17

said step into that space, I think it's really cool if you go to other people's houses. And you see how they do it. It's Oh, we were at a friend's house and they put a two by four behind the garbage can so it doesn't hit the counter. And I was like, Oh my God, that's brilliant. My garbage cans are always hitting the wall. Always those little step ons, right? Oh, okay. They, they're the horrible design. Whoever designed these

Randi: 21:42

step on trash cans, scruffing up the wall and things like that. Yeah.

Jess: 21:47

And so I put a two by four behind it. And I was like, I wish I would have known that that was so cool just to see what other people do. And so sometimes I do like to look in their closets and I like to look in there. How do you

Randi: 21:58

organize? I tell people to come and look at my hot mess closet because it's just piles of well, and your game closet. Yeah. And then recently my partner bought me all these shoe boxes to organize my shoes. but they have like clear fronts on them so I could see them and pull and open them and pull them out because I have so many shoes. He bought me so many and but it wasn't enough and he was like, and I had gotten rid of two boxes of shoes and he's like, what do you mean I didn't buy you enough? But anyways, it's helping me keep my shoes organized and also because I need to be able to see things to use them and utilize them. So like for me, I need clear boxes. Other people want to go do my closet. Okay, well you can come over and see my shoes. wall of shoes that is organized in my closet. I want to

Jess: 22:42

go to it. Okay. So let's go through, Randy. And why does decluttering really matter for mental health, especially for women?

Randi: 22:50

So decluttering matters because our environments affect our mood and our mental well being. When we let go of physical clutter. We then create a space for ourselves and a space for clarity and a space for peace and a space to do what we really enjoy and that then creates a sense of control in our minds and in our homes and in our lives. I like that. Yeah, I like that. Okay. So Jess, do you think decluttering can really redrew read that, but sorry, skip that can decluttering really reduce stress and anxiety? Absolutely.

Jess: 23:31

I say yes. Once you get to the point of where you're making progress because the clutter can really make us feel so overwhelmed and anxious.

Randi: 23:40

anxious. I know it makes me feel like I'm drowning. Yeah.

Jess: 23:43

And so by decluttering and getting rid of some of the crap or putting it in its house, its home, where it lives we can create these really organized and calm environments, which will help us reduce our stress and bring peace to ourselves and our families.

Randi: 24:02

And I think again, the point to where you were saying, this is not I think sometimes when we think of declutter, I know, I automatically think of, a stark white clean space nothing anywhere. It doesn't have to be that. It can still be cozy. It can still be aesthetic. It can still fit the things you love. It can still be bold and you can still have colors and things that you love, mementos and knickknacks, but just to have it in a way where it feels like it's inviting, warm and gives you relief instead of adding stress.

Jess: 24:35

How does decluttering we talked about it promoting self care, so how does it promote

Randi: 24:39

self care? Because when you take the time to focus on those things that are decluttering your home and your mind, that's an act of self care. Because we are then creating a space that supports our well being and our emotions and our mental health. When we prioritize our needs. By decluttering or organizing. We're sending a very powerful message to ourselves that we deserve a peaceful and Nurturing environment that this is our safe space and we're allowing it to be our safe

Jess: 25:15

space. Oh, I like that That's do you ever find This I'm gonna compare like grapes whenever we would buy grapes if I put them in the fridge nobody eats them Mm hmm. But if I put them out in a colander already washed on the counter, they disappear. Because I'm inviting them to eat these grapes and they just walk by and grab them. And what you were just saying reminded me if we create these environments that are comfortable for others to be in. They will come and sit with you as well.

Randi: 25:43

That's so true. And this is just another thing like kitchen organization like I did this week was like I cut up fruits and vegetables for the kids and I put them in little snack bags because they go bad in there. But this way they were able to just reach out and grab them and take them and I caught both of them eating carrots and cucumbers and I was like, what is happening? This never happened. And it was because I had just put them in these little snack Begs and broken them up so they could like, take them out but then I did it too because normally I don't eat like I should. And that gave me the ease of use and it also created a better environment for my health for my nutrition and things like that too. And I was like, okay. okay. That was worth the five minutes. It took me to do that. Sometimes I think I can't do this. I don't have the time for this extra five minutes, but in the grand scheme of things, It created a way better pathway for me to take for the week. Yeah. So just

Jess: 26:39

take a few minutes.

Randi: 26:40

So Jess, will decluttering improve my focus and productivity?

Jess: 26:44

Oh yeah. Totally. Especially if you're ADHD and you don't have all the stuff staring at

Randi: 26:50

you. Oh yeah. I saw something that said when you have a messy desk, It lights up your brain to say, I can't work in this. It does. So yeah. And so you just like, Oh, I'm not going to deal with this. So you just walk away and don't then don't get your work done.

Jess: 27:05

Yeah. Because I do telehealth behind me, I always have it nice and clear and clean because that's what my clients see. On the sides of it, it could be, it's a

Randi: 27:14

hot mess. And so it's like me with like boxes, Amazon boxes everywhere. Yeah. And so I'll go through like

Jess: 27:20

today's my day to go through and clear it out for next week so I can start off with it being nice and clear. Mm-Hmm. Because sometimes it gets so overwhelming and it really can be Distracting. And it just drains my mental energy. And

Randi: 27:33

yeah, energy vampire. Yeah. And

Jess: 27:35

so when we dec clutter and we remove all of these distractions, it really just creates this clear space and it really helps me, me, it helps me focus and prioritize and be productive.

Randi: 27:47

Yeah. I like to write myself like little notes and things like that, like on. and then they end up all over the place. And I just found the most amazing thing on Amazon. It was like 7 and it's like a thing that goes on the side of my monitor and I can either ride on it like little notes or I can stick all my notes to it. And I was like,. Where's the 7 thing been my whole life and then there's all my notes and I can get rid of them if I've done my To do or whatever they I see them there instead of getting you know stuck under things on my desk, and I was like This is gonna change my life

Jess: 28:19

Until she decides it was too much, and then she gives it in the back of her car and gives it away Exactly, so all right so candy cluttering affect our relationships in a positive

Randi: 28:28

way, so yes Yes, clutter can definitely unknowingly, sometimes we're not conscious of it, but it causes stress and tension in our relationships, especially if the other person does not lean towards the side of being a clutter. Doesn't like your crap. Which was when I got in my relationship, he was very neat and very, and I am not, and I've always been Not like dirty messy, but just like clutter like clutter chaos and stuff and you know very much lean on the Artistic side of whoo, going with the flow of being ADHD so it was a very hard for him. He did not understand where I was coming from He didn't understand why I could not keep things, neat organized He doesn't understand my piles, you know still after 20 years of knowing me so It can, it caused a lot of stress in our relationship and now I'm at the point where I could afford to get help when we were younger, I couldn't and I can afford a housekeeper now and that removed a huge stress off of it because he was like, you don't. I, because I hate cleaning so I was

Jess: 29:39

like, I know, and the other day over the last couple of months, my closet has been like, we have a walk in closet. Well, it's been getting to the point where you couldn't really walk in,

Randi: 29:47

you can't walk in mine right now. And it was,

Jess: 29:49

it was getting a little bit claustrophobic. I went through and picked up my clothes and picked up my stuff and put everything away. And it just felt Oh, and I really, he didn't say anything, but I'm pretty sure he appreciated it because that's his closet too. And it was, I was encroaching on his little space that

Randi: 30:04

he has. I know he only has like a two foot space in there anyways, but he'd like to be able to get to it. So when though, I'm like, whatever, but by decluttering, we allow space for. Deeper connections and for communication and for a more open, warm, loving environment to be with our family and friends because we're not worried about like these things, that we're shoving in the closet mentally and physically. Yeah. do you think Jess that decluttering can save us money? Oh, yeah I'm just gonna jump in. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I was talking about buying two things when I can't find something

Jess: 30:43

I was gonna say exactly and part of it is that one we can find stuff and then B If we know where things are, we don't have to spend time looking

Randi: 30:51

for it. Yeah, that's a, time is money. Time is money

Jess: 30:55

for me. Let's be honest, yeah. That's my commodity there. But it's also about curbing our impulsive buying habits, right? oh my gosh, I can't Amazon after 10. I'm like, no late night Amazoning because it'll be here by 4am. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. so part of it is learning different tricks and curbing some of your spending habits, because do you really have a space for that? Do you need it? What is the intention of it? Does it even have a space? Like we're sitting in my, my, my podcast room. Nothing in here. I really, it's just pretty. Yeah, it's just pretty that's it. Yeah, but most of stuff here. I'm like, hmm probably didn't

Randi: 31:28

need to get it, right? Did I need it? No,

Jess: 31:31

no, but that's okay and this was the space for it and it's totally fine But it's about being intentional with what you buy and where you put your money like for holidays or birthdays instead of buying her my daughter a gift. I really want to buy her an experience.

Randi: 31:47

And this is so amazing. And I love that she does this. She does this for my kids too. And it's like the most amazing thing. So like this year for my son's birthday, we went and did splatter painting. Oh, God, that was so fun in a a black light glow light room. It was a mess. It was a mess. It was so crazy fun. And it was such a great experience, though. And when you remove that clutter from your life, and instead of thinking I need more stuff, think I need more time with my family. I need more time with my friends. I need more time with my kids. That's something else we should talk about on the podcast too is like shopaholic tendencies and stuff like that. And impulse buying, but yeah, because that is something that you can look back on and you have this memory instead of like, maybe like, Oh, I have these great shoes. You're going to wear it

Jess: 32:38

for six months, right? And I don't know what to buy your kid because you, he

Randi: 32:42

has everything. Yeah. Cause I do. I do buy everything.

Jess: 32:46

And while I did this last weekend it was a, it was a delayed holiday one, but we went glass torch,

Randi: 32:53

glass torch thing.

Jess: 32:54

And we're sitting there playing with glass melting glass and making torches and doing all this really fun stuff that we wouldn't normally do. Cause I don't know if I'll go back and do it, but I did it once. And so I like to do those experiences instead because

Randi: 33:09

it's just more fun. That's what I would now that my kids are older too, I find I would rather save that money for like a trip and something I can experience with them that's going to alter their lives than something that's just going to. way down their space. And to like my daughter and I, since she has been probably three, we used to go paint pottery with my mom before she passed away. So now every year, since then we go and we paint a pottery piece together. And then it's something that she has, but usually like it's a small little box or a bowl or she does a bowl, a bowl every year because she's very artistic. And then she's going to have this set of bowls you can use. For the rest of her life that she can like tell her kids about we do mugs and then we use them. Yeah.

Jess: 33:53

it's just nice when you can have that experience versus just stuff. Speaking of which, what if I struggle of letting go of sentimental items? And here's the thing too, Randy, what if it's somebody else's sentimental item they that they put on us? Cause, oh, that one's tough. I'm like, don't give me shit if you

Randi: 34:10

don't. Mm. Mm. So I had a really hard time with this. When my mom passed away, I got all of her stuff. Oh, that's so hard. And she was a crafter. She was a quilter. She was a sewer. And I had a garage filled with like fabric and sewing machines. And I was just like, It was so much because I was younger and I had a baby and I was like, what do I do with all this stuff? And I didn't want to let it go. And my family used to own a rubber art stamp company. And so I grew up in the crafting business. And just as all that explains

Jess: 34:57

a lot it totally does. I was just that. But

Randi: 34:59

so I also had hundreds of totes of rubber stamps that my family had created for their company and sold for years. And I was like for years, moving it around and never using it though, because I couldn't touch it because it was like emotional. Finally, I was like, you know what? I kept some core, like one tote of fabric and one tote of like rubber stamps. And then same thing, like when I did this, I put it on like a website, like somebody like free fabric. It was really hard for me to do, but I did it. And this woman came to pick it up. And She was like, so thankful. And what she did was she want to start crying. She, it turned out that she quilted blankets for women in Africa that needed them and sent them over there with a group of women. And I was like, unbeknownst that she was going to use that for it. But I was like, my mom's fabric is going To something that is so much bigger than me and going to be so well utilized and loved by somebody that needs a blanket and warmth. And that is doing so much more than me keeping it in a tub that I can't open that I'm not going to use. Or that I thought I could sell or whatever, but then I couldn't sell it because my mom gave it to me and just giving it and she was like, Please let me pay you for this. And I was like, No, because fabric can be very expensive. And so when you make space for something like that, you never know what doors are going to open up and bless you back in that way. Yeah I would have never thought like letting go of Her fabric, something that was so sentimental to me that I thought maybe someday I'll quilt. No, quilting is not for me. I Can sew doesn't bring me joy, but that this was able to bring somebody else joy and then somebody else joy, warmth, security that, that I opened up that space to allow that to happen. And so I allowed her memory to live on and me decluttering. And letting go of that. And that gave me back so much more.

Jess: 37:16

the really cool thing is that you let it be used because we have so much things in our lives that we're like, we're saving that good China for when we have

Randi: 37:24

people over. No, have a tea party and use it. Or I'll do that. I'll take out my grandma's China and just be like, let's just use it. Because like, why it's been sitting in a box for 35 years,

Jess: 37:36

I Had a friend once who would never burn a candle because it was this pretty candle. I was like, It should be burned. Burn the candle. Use the candle. Like the Boards I make. I'm like, don't save them. Use them.

Randi: 37:47

Yeah. Use the boards. Jess made me a beautiful cutting board. You won't use it, will you? No, I used it. Oh, good. Cause she told me, you better use this and use it right away. And then my partner was like, oh, let's steal it. I was like, no, I'm just putting it down and I'm using it because Jess told me to use it. And I've been using it for the past three weeks and I was like, it's beautiful. Use it. And I'm like, That's what it's for is to be used. And every time I take it out, I think of you and I'm like, and I think of how you poured your love and your heart and your passion into making this board. And now I'm using it in my home and it's something I can utilize. Yeah, don't save

Jess: 38:22

stuff, use it. Use it and enjoy it because life is so short and so long at the same time that we should enjoy what we're doing and using.

Randi: 38:34

If you are going to bring it into your home and you are going to buy it, then use it for its intended purpose or find some way that you can integrate it into your life. So just how do we get started with decluttering?

Jess: 38:47

Part of it is going to be breaking it down into very manageable steps again. Like we said just little areas find what isn't working and hit that first instead of going, I need to put things away, what is Bothering you

Randi: 39:00

the most right like I have a problem with putting mail down and not going through it Okay, you know like organizing that space or like the kids Paperwork from school because I send so much paperwork home Yeah, they just ends up in a huge pile and I never look at it. So I'm like I need to deal with that So

Jess: 39:17

create a space for that. So I have a space for that. Okay. What I do is when I get the mail, I go straight into my office where I have, one side there's a trash can, the other side there's a shredder. Mm hmm. Because all the time we're like, oh, we have to shred that and it goes into a big shred pile and then it becomes this big event. with that one, I bring it in. I open, I stand right in front of the shredder, I shred whatever needs to be shred, I throw away whatever needs to be opened if something needs to be paid like a bill, I stick it right on my desk and then the next time I'm in my office or my computer, I go through and set it up and then that goes and gets shred. So part of it is learning.

Randi: 39:52

Creating a system. Creating a system. And a

Jess: 39:54

space for that. And being consistent with it. Mm hmm. Because otherwise you're looking through mail, you're like, why do I have all of

Randi: 40:01

this mail? I do. And I notice like when my mental health is slipping, well, especially during the winter right now when it's Gray out and I'm not getting a lot of sunshine and stuff. I noticed that it's harder for me to deal with those things And implement those systems and so but then like you said then you have this huge task of going through all this Old mail or paperwork or whatever it is and then you're like, oh my god, and then it gets more and more overwhelming So if you chunk it out like just loves to say chunk into small five minute time frames like every other day

Jess: 40:35

and if you can keep that, that just goes into one of our last questions was, how can I sustain the benefits of decluttering in the long term? Is that if you can keep up on these small habits and you can make these, small minutes do it, it can really help you long term not get to that point. I love, and this sounds silly. Everybody who has a housekeeper says, oh, the housekeeper's tomorrow, tomorrow is coming. I gotta go clean up. That's definitely, yeah, like a white girl thing. I'm just gonna throw that out there, but I panic. We have to clean the house for the housekeeper. But what we're not, what we're doing is we are picking up our clutter. So every two weeks we go through and we pick up our clutter, put our stuff away so that somebody can come through and clean. Yeah. Because I don't want to have to. declutter and clean. But we go through and we do that. And it's always like, all right, kid, go put all the clothes that are in that bathroom right now on the floor behind the door because I know they're there. Go put those into the laundry basket, go take care of things. And it really only takes us like 20 minutes to run through and do all of that. So even if you're not going to have a housekeeper coming, it doesn't mean that you can't every two weeks go, okay, 20 minutes, everybody go pick up your

Randi: 41:45

stuff. My partner is like not very social, but I am. And but he said he loves it when I invite people over because then I clean up the house, organize that, that's true. You're like, Oh, and then he's it looks like a magazine like after you're done. But

Jess: 42:01

it always looks really good when when you have it all set up. it's Fine when you don't. Yeah,

Randi: 42:05

but he's yeah Uh, I love that because you actually organize, but then it motivates me. So it's I do. I I'm like, okay, well, I need to have friends over so I can get my shit together. Okay.

Jess: 42:18

So that is one of the ways to help you declutter. Yeah. is to set up maybe once a month or something of having friends over that you want to showcase for, that you want to have them in this environment.

Randi: 42:32

Because I want to make my home a welcoming loving space for my friends and my family. And that allows me to be like intentional about it. Okay, I need to clear this space so I have room for those friendships and I have room for that time with my family.

Jess: 42:48

And when she says room, I've been to her house when she was filming and like she has an entire pile of clothes in the middle of her living room. And she's got these. big screens up all over, big lights going on. And I was like, okay, yep filming content. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's great that she lets me see all that, but at the same time, when you have a bunch of people over, you want to be able to make

Randi: 43:10

it comfortable. Cause you want to foster that. And so you, that's why you should change your mindset to that. I want to foster this environment for my mental health and my wellbeing and my safety. space to refill my cup and to feel safe and secure. And I think when we flip that script in our head, that this clutter is weighing me down and I need to, we can start taking those small steps to taking your control back and taking care of the clutter.

Jess: 43:44

That's like after the holidays, right? At Christmastime, it's so exciting to put all the lights up. I love all the lights. Oh, but afterwards, ugh. Oh, and then when you put them all away, you're like, wow, my house is huge. This is

Randi: 43:55

amazing. Yeah, we just finally took our tree down and I was like, oh my god, there's so much space in here.

Jess: 44:01

it's nice to have that refreshing okay, it's nice and clear, which is

Randi: 44:06

amazing to do. Yeah, I call it like a refresh like refresh, my space. space give like a new canvas to like that month or that holiday or whatever is happening. And I feel like when we declutter, it can really allow for transformation. Like we were saying transformative journey or like personal growth and personal transformation because we are uncovering things in ourselves. We're allowing space for ourselves, and it can create like this new slate or like a new perspective. And really, I feel like it paves the way for positive changes in our life. Yeah, and it just it

Jess: 44:45

feels good. It really just feels good. So Remember that decluttering isn't about perfection, and we just talked about perfection, what,

Randi: 44:53

last week, two weeks ago, go back and listen, you can look up perfection on our website, and I'll pull up the episode.

Jess: 45:00

Yeah, but it's about making progress and creating a space that's going to support your mental well being and your family's mental well being. Yeah.

Randi: 45:10

And I'll list a few of the things that work for me on our website. Site too. So that's a wrap for today, and we hope this episode inspires you to embrace your clutter and let it go. And try decluttering for a more serene, welcoming, and nourishing space for your mental health and your wellbeing. So

Jess: 45:32

remember, a clear space can lead to a clearer mind.