Unlocking PMDD: Decoding Symptoms and Empowering Mental Health Care

Ep 10 PMDD

[00:00:00] Randi: 1, 2, 3, 4, hi friends. It's Randy and Jess. And we're gonna cut the bullshit and let's get into women's 

[00:00:08] Jess: mental health

[00:00:13] Randi: shark week. Why your PMs is a killer hint. It's actually PM D D. In 

[00:00:18] Jess: this episode, we're gonna dive ahead. First into premenstrual dysphoric disorder. also known as PM. DD. We are going to tell you what it actually is, why it took so long to be acknowledged and how to recognize and treat your symptoms. And that 

[00:00:32] Randi: is a mouthful.

That is, oh 

[00:00:34] Jess: my 

[00:00:35] Randi: gosh, premenstrual dysphoric disorder disorder. There is a reason your period is called shark week and it's not because. Of why you think it's not like they're circling around. Right. I 

[00:00:47] Jess: always thought it was because they said, oh, you can't go swimming in the water. Cuz the sharks can 

[00:00:51] Randi: smell your blood.

Right. And they're gonna come after you. No, your tampon is not your dinner. 

[00:00:58] Jess: so what I found was that we'll put a picture up, but a shark brain and a uterus vagina, they look the 

[00:01:05] Randi: same. No, that can't be your uterus does not look like a shark sprain and just was like, yes, I've gotta see this. Oh my God. Yes.

And 

[00:01:15] Jess: the other thing I found, they said, I'm gonna pronounce this wrong is squalene squalene, squalene, quien. It's your natural vaginal lubricant. And it's also found in shark livers. 

[00:01:25] Randi: That word is right up there with moist moist, that quien quien. And I have, I've read a lot of stuff. And I've never heard that.

Have you guys ever thought when you are feeling this way right before your period starts or you're like right after your ovation? I am so depressed. 

[00:01:43] Jess: Oh, my anxiety is 

[00:01:44] Randi: so high. I just wanna go hide in my bed, pull up the covers. I can't deal with. I'm 

[00:01:51] Jess: so fatigued. I can't keep my eyes 

[00:01:53] Randi: open. Why am I binge eating everything in sight right now?

Everything 

[00:01:59] Jess: or even had thoughts of suicide. Like I shouldn't be here. Why am I even here the best way to describe it? Is that once a month, I pressed my own self-destruct button and literally let my normal very happy and satisfying life implode around me. Then when the dark thoughts lifted and cleared, I spent the next two weeks trying to pick up the pieces.

[00:02:21] Randi: When Jess had told me she had read that piece, I was like, oh my God. Yes. That resonated with me because I have PM, D D mm-hmm . And, um, I didn't realize I had it until again later because you know, the brain's obviously not fully functioning until you're later and putting all the pieces together. What.

Exactly PMDD PMDD. 

[00:02:45] Jess: We're gonna say it one more time. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is a very severe form of PMs. I'm 

[00:02:53] Randi: gonna hurt somebody. Yeah. This is like another level of mm-hmm anger, stress irritability. And we'll go into that a little bit more. 

[00:03:02] Jess: Yeah. But it isn't the like, oh, just take a Myall and you'll be fine.

No, I mean, no, no, this is the, my moods are all over for whatever reason. I always wanted to go Jean shopping. Right there. And it was like a self torture thing that I 

[00:03:15] Randi: do. I'm like, because you're not feeling great, your body's bloated you're and 

[00:03:19] Jess: I'm not gonna fit my jeans anyway. 

[00:03:20] Randi: Right. Your body's inflamed, but I'm always like, oh, let's go 

[00:03:23] Jess: shopping.

I, I dunno what that is. It's like this self sabotage thing, I do 

[00:03:27] Randi: extreme emotions and a lot of physical pain and stuff with it. Right around, um, usually your Lule phase, if you guys track, we can kind of put up like what those phases are to explain like your menstrual cycle a little bit more, because I know it's not something that we talk about enough with friends or women, or have like great like, knowledge about, but that's kind of like the time between when you're starting to ovulate and when your periods.

Usually it's about 

[00:03:54] Jess: seven to nine days before your period starts. 

[00:03:57] Randi: Yeah. For most women. Yeah. Cuz I track it like with an app and I was just like, oh, here we go. Everybody hold on tight. It can last about like one or two weeks everybody's cycle varies. Since I have P C O S two, like my cycles have always been off tracking for me was like very important to like keep a hold of what was gonna be happening with my emotions and my hormones and stuff with.

[00:04:19] Jess: We have an actual old school calendar. Mm-hmm in the pantry and she tracks her period. And when last month she was, Ooh, Ooh, she, oh, she was, she was good. She was special. And I said, tell God, I was like, go check to see if, when you're gonna start your period. She's like, ah, I'm fine. And I was like, no, no, no, go check, go check.

And she was like, it says two days. And I was like, oh, okay. And sure enough, two days later mm-hmm and she's. 

[00:04:45] Randi: Oh, yeah. And that's what I've worked on a lot with my daughter too, when I started learning, like what my symptoms were and like how it's cycled and how it was affecting my life and that, like, I wasn't crazy been able to pass that on to her.

And like, I can see like, she'll start telling me, like, she's feeling a certain way, like nauseous or like dizzy. And I'm like, look at the calendar. And I'm like, oh, our periods are coming up because joy, when you're in a household of women usually cycling around each other. So that's. Fun thing on top of that.

[00:05:15] Jess: Absolutely. Yes. P D D it's more known now due to the fact that most women we have, well, I guess now versus a hundred years ago, right. We have a better control and understanding of a, how our periods work. And we also have more control because, you know, we're not pregnant and lactating every, 

[00:05:35] Randi: all the time, time.

Cause we have birth control now and we know how to track our cycles. If we don't wanna reproduce, we know how to control that. And so, yes, like now that we have more knowledge about it and people just don't label us as being hysterical and lock us away in a mental Institute, you wanna lobotomy. Right. I know.

Like let's just drill a hole in her head. It'll be fine. Yeah. She's great. Yes. They really used to do that. If you don't know the history of mental health institutes with women yeah. With women. So, what are the symptoms of PMDD? 

[00:06:08] Jess: We can break it down into two. There's like the emotional experience. And then there's like the physical and behavioral.

And so if we just go through the emotional, right, that's the mood swings, the upset, the being tearful, um, lack of energy, the hopeless, the suicidal thoughts. And if you have those, please call the new nine eighty eight number or call 9 1 1. You know, this will pass, but sometimes it can be so overwhelming when you're in that moment that it feels very, very real.

[00:06:37] Randi: You can have crying spells, you can be like super nervous, super anxious. On edge, like really tense. A lot of the times, you're just, I don't even know like why I'm feeling this way. It can be like very confusing. Mine always 

[00:06:50] Jess: came out as anger. Mm-hmm just pissed, pissed at the world, pissed at everything.

Nothing went. 

[00:06:55] Randi: Right, right. And it's just like something very small can totally set me off. We missed an appointment this week that I had to reminded my partner about like over she's breathing over and over. Don't see her she's breathing. I'm breathing. I'm getting tense right now. We missed it. And I was like, I feel like I have to remember like everything in this house.

Like I just like blew up. I tossed something into the wall. Don't do that. Um, I took a chunk outta on my wall. You lost your shit, huh? Yeah, I lost my shit. And then, um, my husband was like, okay, as they go. And I was like, yeah, I am like, and I can't control it right now. I was like, check the calendar. I knew what to do.

Like I had to just walk away, take a deep breath. You know, I went outside for a walk because like, I'm like, okay, this is not how I act. like 99% of the time. This is the 1% of the time that I am just going to have so much feelings overwhelmed and out of control. And I start like crying about everything and anything can trigger me well, and it feels so 

[00:07:54] Jess: real.

Mm-hmm, so valid. So real. And so intense that you're like, this is, this is real, right. This is real, this anger, you are completely messed up. And this is all real, right. Even though three days later, you're like, no, no, I'm good. I'm sorry. Right. Like, yeah. Can we fix my wall now? Cause my bad. Yeah. oh, and also it's the difficulty concentrating mm-hmm right.

Like ADHD doesn't have that problem 

[00:08:15] Randi: anyway. Yeah. And I get severe. Well, we're gonna go into the physical. Side of it too, but this also impacts the emotional is because I get severe insomnia. Mm. So it's like, I either like wake up really early and I can't sleep or I can't fall asleep or I just like wake up in the middle of the night.

That's it. So like when you're not getting enough sleep and then your emotions are like all erratic too. It's like double whammy. And you're like FML, like, 

[00:08:40] Jess: so in addition to say, like the insomnia mm-hmm , um, there's the typical, the breast tenderness or swelling, right? Yes. And 

[00:08:46] Randi: like, uh, inflammation. Right.

And then there's 

[00:08:48] Jess: like the feeling of a bloated. When I like to go gene shopping, don't ask why 

[00:08:52] Randi: don't do that. Headaches, migraines, overeating food, cravings, chocolate. And you can also feel very rejected by other people. I had gotten like a text from like a family member like this week and I just fell apart over it.

Normally it would not like phase me because I've learned to have like boundaries with that person. And I was just I'm 42. And why is this still triggering me and I, again, I went outside, I sat in the sunshine. I took a deep breath. Okay. Yes. You're like, oh, oh, I'm just a little crazy this week. Yes. Yes I am.

Okay. And we joke about saying like, you're crazy, but you're not, you're not crazy. You're not crazy. 

[00:09:30] Jess: It wasn't a disorder when I started 2013. Made it 2013. Yeah. Cause that's when the new DSM mm-hmm . So they've always kind of had a history that women kind of get this way, right. The severe symptoms. Right. Um, it wasn't until the thirties that they started actually calling it something, they called it severe premenstrual symptoms.

Right. Mm-hmm which is PMs, right? Uh, actually, no, it was premenstrual tension symptoms. There you go. And then the fifties is when they changed it to the PMs, but they still didn't do any research with it during the seventies and 

[00:10:04] Randi: eighties, they have just, now the last 10 years started doing small research pockets, maybe like a sample size of like 3000, but we need to do a lot more research on this because I feel like it's very under.

Three to 8% of the population have it. And I feel like I know way more women, you and I both. Yeah. That have it. Mm-hmm and then when you start to get older, too, and you're heading towards menopause, the symptoms get even worse. 

[00:10:34] Jess: They used to shove it under the depressive disorder in a not otherwise specified.

And as a therapist, we don't typically use a lot of, not otherwise specified. It's kind of that weird gray area where we're like, we really don't know what to do with this. We don't really know if your symptoms meet criteria. Right. And so they finally, when they redid our, our diagnostic manual, mm-hmm , they finally went through back in 2013 and added it and it was like, oh my gosh, finally, we're getting 

[00:11:01] Randi: recognized.

But I feel like even like when I was in my master's program, like, I don't feel it was something like we ever touched on mm-hmm in any of my master classes talking about the severity of something like this, because it looks like so many other symptoms. 

[00:11:17] Jess: The difference between PM D D and major depressive disorder or generalize anxiety disorder.

Mm-hmm is that PM D D symptoms. They're cycl. 

[00:11:27] Randi: Right. So it's like a year more and like every month you're having the same, right. Like right on time, like, so you can pinpoint it. So it's good. If you think you have it kind of keep a journal mm-hmm and like a data journal, like, or same thing, like along with tracking your menstrual cycle, like, okay, when is this happen?

Or your ovulation cycle? Like, is this happening when I'm starting to ovulate? Is it happening? You know, cuz for women too, it can vary too. Like when you're having those drops and hormones. They think maybe it can be related to estrogen and serotonin drops. And like, we have more severe, like serotonin drops than other people, because there hasn't been enough research on it.

Like it's really hard to like say, but 

[00:12:09] Jess: like, And so if your anxiety is all month long, well, and it's pretty much the same level, then that's typically more of the generalized anxiety. Right. But if you're like, if it's seven to 10 days before, and then like, you know, a day or two after your period starts, you're like, oh, life is good.

Right. That's when we kind of kind look at that, mm-hmm . I'm glad they're finally starting to recognize and do research and look at this as an option, right. It's not just, it feels so dismissive when they're like, it's just PMs. Yeah. They're like, no, no, no. This is not PMs. And we're 

[00:12:41] Randi: gonna talk about that too.

In another episode, about how, um, doctors and physicians. Can Gaslight you into thinking like you don't have a yes. Medical issue or a mental health issue, and it's like, no, you need to be heard. It's great that it is getting more recognition. And we can talk about it, like in, on platforms like this, so that more women know.

What to look for and how to advocate for themselves. 

[00:13:07] Jess: We should be talking about it at the dinner 

[00:13:08] Randi: time table. Oh yeah, I agree. I, I mean, I talk about this stuff with my daughter and she's glad that she's more educated on it and then she can tell her friends about it. Mm-hmm cause I mean, so many girls that age, like parents aren't having the conversation with, um, I've always been like really open and stuff with my partner.

This is what's happening. Like he follows my app, 

[00:13:29] Jess: so many men don't know, they just go, oh, well, I see the things in the trash. So that must mean that she's on her period. And so you're like, but you missed all of the, the emotional stuff before. 

[00:13:39] Randi: Right. And it's usually like before and then, like you have like those physical period symptoms and stuff.

I talked to my son about it too. I mean, he's only seven, but I'm like mom, as you know, her period, like this is what happens. Like I want him to, to be like a great partner when he's older and not feel uncomfortable about it. We do normalize it. Mm-hmm and like they do know. And I think that gives them like an advantage too, to have like healthier relationships down the line.

[00:14:04] Jess: Oh, I love it. My daughter. We'll sit there at the dinnertime table and talk about the flow of her period. And you're like, thank you. And I'm like, I am so proud of her. And my husband is looking a little uncomfortable and he is just eating his food. He's like, I'm not sure if I should comment. I don't know what to do.

Mm-hmm and you know, he doesn't say anything, but he's just like, okay. And she'll talk about the flow. She'll talk about where she's at. And she's so much more open than. I ever was at that age. 

[00:14:30] Randi: Oh yeah. Like a hundred percent. And I got my period really early. I got it at nine. Oh my gosh. And so super early, cuz I developed early and I've always had hormonal issues and stuff.

And um, my daughter did too and it, I was prepared and had prepared her for that because I knew so much more about it than my mom did. And even just periods in general and like our menstrual cycle, we just do not talk about like. When I had P C O S I had a lot of infertility problems and I just didn't even know how to track my cycle.

Mm-hmm like even when I went to see a fertility specialist, they didn't even tell me how to track my cycle. Like I taught myself on my own and that helped alleviate some of the infertility issues I was having, just knowing how to track my cycle and where I was at. Why can't I get pregnant? Well, it's like, you don't even realize, like there's only a small window of opportunity.

Sometimes that needs to be tracked down to the tee. If you do have shifts in your period in your home runs. Yeah, that 

[00:15:26] Jess: that's crazy. Sorry. I'm all I 

[00:15:28] Randi: crazy. Wait, what? To me. Yeah. Like they were just kept saying like, you should be able to get pregnant. You should be able to get pregnant, try this pill, try this pill, try this pill.

When is your cycle? Like, when is this happening? Like, let's take out a calendar looking back. That was really horrible. That is horrible. And I went nine years thinking I couldn't get pregnant because nobody had ever told me how to do it. 

[00:15:52] Jess: Huh. But that's why we use a calendar. I want her to know and be able to plan.

So we know in October when the school dances and is that gonna be around her period time. Right. Right. So we kind of know what we're gonna wear and not wear. Yeah. And well, not we, she, but that's what I'm trying to teach her. Mm-hmm so she's 

[00:16:09] Randi: aware of. The more knowledge you have, the more power you have, the more empowered you are about your thoughts, your emotions, your body, the more you can control and the more you can advocate for yourself.

I obviously wasn't able to advocate for myself when I was going, you know, through those struggles, because I didn't know. Now I could like advocate for my daughter or myself, or like friends and stuff, because sometimes you. Don't have the knowledge base 

[00:16:32] Jess: doesn't mean that you're dumb. It doesn't mean any of that.

It just means that no one has taught you. And that's not something that I think past generations 

[00:16:40] Randi: would teach us. No, and my mom had passed away. I didn't have her, you know, to like, ask about that when I was going through all of that stuff. Let's get to the nitty gritty about if you went to somebody and you're like, I think I have PM, D D.

This is the criteria you would have to meet to like actually say, yes, you are diagnosable with this. 

[00:17:02] Jess: And I want you to count on your fingers cuz you need at least five symptoms. So just, you know, five little fingers. They have to be present the week before your period, again, seven to nine days, but definitely the week before your period.

And then they typically have to improve usually by like two, three days after your period starts. Mm-hmm okay. So let's do our fingers and let's do some counting here. Okay. Let's talk about what is it? Mood swings. Mm-hmm depressed mood. This is all one thing. Depressed mood, feelings of hopelessness or self deprecating 

[00:17:37] Randi: thoughts.

Yeah. So you're like feeling suddenly sad, tearful rejection. You are like feeling highly sensitive to things. So you need to have one or more of those, an upswing of irritability, anger, or like conflicts more dramatic is happening, you know, right now, or I'm being more drama right now. Like, is that, so 

[00:18:00] Jess: I've already got, I've got three right.

Or direct fingers. Marked anxiety or tension or feelings of just being like keyed up or on edge. Just like if you have anxiety it's just worse. 

[00:18:10] Randi: Right. And I usually get that, like, I start feeling like more tension in my body and like, you know, something's thumbing through my body, but I'm like, I don't really have anything to be anxious about.

So it's like why? And so like you have, you have a leveled up as my son would say, gaming your anxiety and then one or more of these falling symptoms. Also be present from another set of criteria. So a decreased interest in what you usually find, like enjoyable, if 

[00:18:39] Jess: you love going to the gym and you're like, Hmm, 

[00:18:41] Randi: I ain't doing it.

Right. And you're just like, not interested or like you would normally like go out with your friend. Nothing is like interesting you that would normally. And then the one just talked about earlier too, which is big, 

[00:18:52] Jess: is the difficulty in concentration. Mm-hmm, just increased difficulty. Like I can't focus on anything.

Even if I took my meds, 

[00:19:01] Randi: I got stuck a super what do you call it? ADHD. You get frozen. Yeah. Sometimes. And. I was like, I took my medicine for my ADHD. I have done all these things. I took my vitamins and I am just, I'm stuck. Mm-hmm like, and I couldn't focus no matter how hard I was trying. And then same thing.

Like I went back, like all these things were happening and I was like, yes, look at the calendar, Randy, you have like no energy. You're more tired. Yeah. 

[00:19:29] Jess: Just kind of like a, like a lump mm-hmm. like, I'm just gonna lay on the couch and just watch nothing or just scroll whatever, 

[00:19:35] Randi: change an appetite again. So this one's huge.

It's 

[00:19:38] Jess: it's not just having the cravings for chocolate that I joke about, but it's like usually chocolates and sweets and binge eating, almost binge eating. You're like. I can eat everything. 

[00:19:48] Randi: Salty, carbs, sweet sugar, French fries. Yeah. And then, um, hyper insomnia or insomnia. Right. So right. You're either sleeping way too 

[00:19:57] Jess: much, right.

Or you're not sleeping at 

[00:19:59] Randi: all. Yeah. For me, I don't sleep at all. And then a sense of being overwhelmed or out of control. Yeah, 

[00:20:05] Jess: that that's a big one right there. And then the other one is, what we talked about is like the physical symptoms, you know, your breasts are tender or your swollen or muscle pain bloating, or even like weight gain, or it feels like you've gained weight.

Even if you haven't cuz you're just like, Ugh, nothing fits. Yeah. 

[00:20:23] Randi: You have to have at least five of those symptoms, five little fingers, five of those symptoms. But one from the first. And one from the second set and then a combination, we will put up what that looks like. Mm-hmm on our website, uh, Randy and Jess podcast.com because it is very hard to understand.

That's why we went to years of school for this and took specific classes on it. And it's like even hard for therapists to understand how they break it down and categorize things. So we'll put up like a simpler thing. 

[00:20:54] Jess: Yeah. We'll make, make it for. So, what are the causes though of PMDD? I mean, we've talked about all the symptoms and, and being around, but what are 

[00:21:02] Randi: the causes?

Well, it sucks because they just don't know, you know, but from, like I said, the little research that they have done, they think that it's due to an abnormal reaction to hormone changes, you know, around your menstrual cycle and the serotonin. Deficiency and there's, I'm not gonna throw out all the other like letters and the GABA, GABA, GABA.

Yeah. And the all and the, okay. There's a bunch of like other terms that they're thinking, you know, there's different genes and stuff, but they're not there yet. There's nothing concrete about it. Just that we know that it happens and it's much more intense right now, like around when your cycle is gonna be starting and happening.

[00:21:43] Jess: Oh my gosh. That's like that. The shirt that says I don't have enough serotonin for this shit. That is such a PMs shirt. It is. That is the PMDD shirt. That's amazing. Yeah. I just got it. I don't know why I just got it. 

[00:21:55] Randi: Yes. And so that can go with, uh, numerous, uh, things. And also PMDD is linked to those things too.

Like, um, when you have ADHD, mm-hmm, , you are more likely to have PMD D symptoms and P P D, which. Postpartum depression disorder. Yes. So they can all be closely linked together with that and anxiety and body DYS 

[00:22:21] Jess: dysmorphia, dysmorphia. I know they're hard. Try spelling these things. 

[00:22:24] Randi: Yeah. Friday, my words are out the window.

Um, pain disorders, um, like she said, major depressive disorder. Bipolar. Yeah. So like sometimes you can have double, triple, quadruple whammy. Welcome to our world. And so like really, that's what we have to go on right now. And we're learning more about it daily mm-hmm and that's why we feel it's an important topic to talk about because we want women to be more aware and as more knowledge becomes available, be able to like utilize it to help themselves.

[00:22:56] Jess: We do. And, and I wanna also specify that, like, we call it a double triple whammy, because most of the time I say these things, hang out, they're friends. Yeah. Right. They're they're they hang out on the same curb and they like hang out and they're just link arms together. So it's very common to have more than one thing and they all kind of link together.

So it's 

[00:23:13] Randi: just, yeah. And you can just be like predisposed to those things too, because if you have like a family history of like mood disorders, That can make you, I'm not gonna say like an, an easier target, but like, I mean, that's basically like, these things are like, oh, you like, or if you've had a trauma yes.

Or like in any type of, of abuse, you're the patterns in your brain have changed and it's like, it's easier. To have things like affect you and your emotions. Mm-hmm because of that, somebody that might not have those things, you know, the DNA, the genes, or like trauma or something is gonna be a little bit more resilient to bouncing back from like influxes and things with their physical and emotional health, rather than other people that have had trauma.

And so it's like, you're not alone in that and feeling like this is fucking hard. I am like, I feel like I'm not myself when this happens and it's really frustrating. And I know a lot of people with different mental health conditions feel that like when you have swings and stuff like that, like yes, you're like, oh, 

[00:24:13] Jess: I, so don't like that person that that's just showing up.

Can I, can I go back and, you know, do my redo, right. Because, but I can't do the redo for like three 

[00:24:22] Randi: days. Right? Like, it's gonna be a while I'm gonna act this way for a while or I'm just gonna go hide 

[00:24:27] Jess: in my. 

[00:24:27] Randi: Right. But it's like when you are able to track it and figure it out and acknowledge it, I think then you can be gentle or in kinder with yourself through that.

Because like, for me, I like had like a lot of shame about it. Like I'm acting like this. Like I know better. Like I have all this education, like I can't control it. There's things I can do to support myself. Mm-hmm , you know, and we're gonna talk about that. Like how you can treat it, allowing myself to be kinder to myself, like through the process has been huge.

Dealing with it and being able to bring on support systems for it too. Talk about how 

[00:24:59] Jess: is it treated? One of the main things they'll do is they'll give you an S Sri and they don't give it to you all month long. They give it to you like five, seven to nine days before your period starts. Right. Mm-hmm . And the typical one was the Prozac.

That was the very first one they all kind of did, was they said here. Take this Prozac. Yeah. About seven to nine days before mm-hmm because it has a quick up and then it kind of drops down. Yeah. By the time it drops down your hormones or mood or whatever has picked up. Yeah. And so that worked pretty 

[00:25:33] Randi: well.

I've also utilized Zoloft a lot for it. Mm-hmm so Zoloft and Prozac are usually like the go tos. That, um, most, um, physicians or psychiatrists will prescribe. I, um, was put on Prozac two for mine, and I was doing the before cycle, but they have come out with, um, research recently. They're finding that it is better if you do take the medication monthly, monthly, okay.

To keep it in your system longer and to stabilize you longer. And like, for me, because my cycles do shift oh, because of my P C O S and stuff. It is very hard to say like, okay, this day right here, cuz my cycle could be shorter or longer. Okay. Depending on the month. And like if I'm stressed and stuff that can shift my, my body is very sensitive to that kind of stuff.

And like shifts my period. I'm not like a, you know, it's happening on the first, every single month. Like mine was always at Christmas, 

[00:26:25] Jess: man. I swear for . Yeah. However many years like, oh, Christmas is coming. I'm PMSing or I'm gonna 

[00:26:30] Randi: start my. Yeah. So it's like, I've never been able to specifically ever track, like, it's always shifted by like sometimes like four days, five days, seven days.

Sometimes I've gone like a month, you know, or more without my period for me and the researchers are coming out with now, they're saying it can be better just to be on it month around, but always, you know, talk to your provider, your caretakers, your therapist, your psychiatrist, and do what's best for you and your body.

[00:26:57] Jess: Yeah. I mean, I, I guess I can imagine it. Four to six weeks for it really, truly to be in your system. Mm-hmm and I can see how they'd probably wanna do that, or just maybe increase it right around a certain time, but have you have it already 

[00:27:09] Randi: in your system? Yeah. So what I do is I take like a lower dose, monthly mm-hmm and then closer when I'm starting to cycle and feel it coming on, I up 

[00:27:17] Jess: it.

Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. So your body doesn't go, whoa, right? It already knows what's going 

[00:27:22] Randi: on. And there's other things you can do. Like non-medicated C, B T techniques. I said it right. This did, um, so that's cognitive behavioral therapy that can help you change your perception and your thought patterns around PM, D D to better understand the symptoms.

[00:27:42] Jess: And, and what that sounds like is, you know, I might. You know, this is unbearable or I'm going crazy. And instead what I want people to say, or I want to be able to say is I can provide myself with some extra care this week. I know that this is what's happening. I'm understanding it, you know, and this is what I can do versus I'm not in control to this is the control I 

[00:28:05] Randi: can't have.

Yeah. So you can take back a little bit of control. Just said, like, uh, I need to plan some self care, listening to how we talk about self care in our previous episode. I need to get more sunlight this week, or maybe I need to up my vitamins this week. Mm-hmm or take like a relaxing bath or like, I know like I'm gonna be more irritated with my partner or my kids this week.

So maybe I'm like, sorry, you 

[00:28:27] Jess: don't see me, but I'm laughing. She's laughing. She's laughing like Uhhuh 

[00:28:31] Randi: take a chill pill. I'm dating myself saying that. And, um, step back, breathe 

[00:28:36] Jess: in talking about breath. If y'all, haven't gone to the YouTube. Oh my God. 

[00:28:40] Randi: No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go, go to 

[00:28:42] Jess: the YouTube. I put up the little snippet, clip it.

Thing of, of me making Randy learn how to breathe because she doesn't 

[00:28:48] Randi: breathe. No, I know I'm not a good breather, so she's not, but, but yeah, you can do those extra steps. I knew that I was coming up on my PMD stuff and so it's like, I scheduled like a facial this week to like, take that time for myself, get myself out of my head, like force myself to relax and to stop working for a second.

Stress too, like, is really like a big trigger on it. Like if you're already have chronic stress, which I do, because I love to stress myself out. Um, you are gonna be like more, um, susceptible to like the mood swings and the irritability and things like that. Mm-hmm , I've also heard 

[00:29:22] Jess: that people have done certain yoga poses.

Right. Like, I wanna call it. Haha. Agata. There's a certain type of 

[00:29:31] Randi: yoga. Yeah. I didn't say it. Right. I knew like I know like child's pose and like, you know, downward dog. Like I don't, I'm not good at all the names and stuff. I did yoga for a while, but there's 

[00:29:41] Jess: a certain type of yoga where they actually can work 

[00:29:44] Randi: on Assante no, as don't listen to us.

Yeah. We're just gonna start making up words 

[00:29:48] Jess: here. Yeah. We're just gonna, you can, you can send us an email if you know what I'm talking about. But I've had a couple people that work on those and do those yoga poses to help for their PMs or their P D D or yeah, when they're getting sick from, from getting ready to start their period mm-hmm

And so they've really worked on those and have been able to help it. And so there are other options, um, 

[00:30:10] Randi: yeah. And like controlling your diet and stuff too. I know easier said than done, um, because you get those cravings and stuff, but like, if it does make you feel yucky and doesn. Help you give you the clearest, you know, mind when you're like binge, you know, eating on sugar and stuff.

And I know all about that because, you know, I've lost 160 pounds and like, so sugar was my, you know, go to addiction, carbs minus carbs. That's that's so it's like, you know, those triggers and, you know, like what you're gonna rely on. And so it's like, I will usually be like, okay, like let's put some healthier snack options that I, you know, will pick.

Everything 

[00:30:47] Jess: that we joked about earlier and like listed off is what they don't want you to have. They want you to reduce your salt. They want you to reduce your carbs. They want you to reduce your alcohol and your caffeine. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like you really just need to up your, you know, proteins and, and your, your vegetables and just make sure you're a little bit more well balanced.

[00:31:07] Randi: Yeah. And I mean, they say that for everything, so it's kind of like easy to push off. Yeah. But. Again, if you're like keeping track of this and you want to empower yourself and know like your symptoms, even if you don't do all of these things, because sometimes that can be super overwhelming in itself to think like, okay, I know I should be doing this and this 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Yeah. Just like pick like one thing mm-hmm that is gonna make it yourself a little bit more centered when you're going through this. And like, that's why I was like, okay, I'm just gonna schedule a facial. Like, that's all I can handle, like this week. Like I'm still gonna eat like. You know, pudding or whatever, because it is a roller coaster.

Yeah. I feel like that, like I'm, you know, it is very, very like high emotions, you know, down emotions and, you know, swinging around and looping around. And I think an important thing to help you, like I said, is like the support. And I wanna 

[00:31:57] Jess: go back because with the support we talk about letting our partners know mm-hmm on a calendar.

Yeah. We don't need to share an app if you don't want to. Yeah. And it's not just saying I'm starting my period, but Hey, I'm getting ready to start my period. This is what it means. Mm-hmm because even if you tell your spouse, I'm gonna start my period, he might be like, Does that mean we're not having sex?

Right. What does that mean? 

[00:32:18] Randi: Right. So again, like clear communication, like, yes, this is like, I try to explain like still every month again and again, just 4, 1, 1. This is what's happening. Like you think I am feeling off balance. I am feeling irrational. Like I am feeling triggered by this. I am feeling extra emotional.

I am. And, and please 

[00:32:39] Jess: don't point it out. Don't tell me I'm being irrational or emotional. Just, just, just hear me. Don't point it out and say, yeah. Saw that. Oh yeah. Just be like, Hmm, really? 

[00:32:48] Randi: Oh, okay. Yeah. Like not like, Hey, psycho, like mine, but yeah. So, I mean, , we joke about it now, but, um, yeah. And so it's like having that information, not only empowering yourself, but empowering, like those around you and your kids and your, you know, your spouse or your partner to know like this is happening.

So like, not like you need to like tiptoe around me, but so they know like why, cuz like I tell my kids, like it's not. Did like at you, you're just like in the crossfire of this right now. Or it 

might 

[00:33:20] Jess: be that I'm gonna withdraw a little bit mm-hmm and I might be hanging out in my room a little bit more or reading a little bit more 

[00:33:27] Randi: and I'm not rejecting you, like yes.

I'm trying to protect you from right. Or I'm trying 

[00:33:31] Jess: to protect myself from feeling like a shitty mom, because I snapped. Right, right. Because I'm irritated and it's not at them or anybody else. Yes. And so I think it's good just to have that communication. I, I don't know what people used to do hundreds of years ago.

Well, 

[00:33:47] Randi: like I said, they used to just lock 'em up. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's and they used to drill a hole in their head and give them a lobotomy. We will actually put a picture of that up because it's very interesting. Um, they would just make women com comatose because they felt like they were irrational and they couldn't be controlled.

Do we still even 

[00:34:03] Jess: have the hysterical, uh, personality disorder and the DSM? I 

[00:34:07] Randi: don't think so. Did finally take 

[00:34:09] Jess: that out. Wasn't that in there for a while? Hyster. I think so. I think that's, I know it's a fray thing, but I can't remember if that's an actual 

[00:34:16] Randi: diagnosis or not. I don't know. We'll have to look it up.

We'll let you guys know. Yeah. But so get some support. Yes. Get fucking support. Um, whatever that looks like. If that's extra vitamins, extra sunlight, eating a different diet. Finding, you know, a doctor to support you a therapist that's oh. 

[00:34:33] Jess: And hydrate, hydrate, 

[00:34:34] Randi: hydrate. I really bad about that. I'm like hydrate.

I'm a dehydrated bitch, so, but helps a lot. Yeah. Talk to your therapist about it. Mm-hmm like, if you don't talk to your friends about it, like, see like if they have these experiences or not, like sometimes you feel like so alone and stuff, and you've never even. Like a friend or a sister or somebody like, Hey, do you have experience with this?

I mean, they might be like, no, like you you're weirdo, but like other times they could be like, oh my God. Yes. And like, I didn't know. And like, oh, like this happens and it opens up like this whole other world of like communication and support that you like never knew that you had, but like don't be ashamed of it.

Yeah. Next thing 

[00:35:13] Jess: you know, you can be like my kid talking about your period over the dinner time table. It'll be totally great. It'll be awesome. It'll be awesome. Everything 

[00:35:19] Randi: is awesome. There's so many of us, we all have this mm-hmm like as women who have been born with a reproductive system, it's happening, mm-hmm , you know, and whether you don't have, or you do have it, like, even if you talk to your friends about it, then they know that they can support you.

Yeah. During that time, like, what do you need? You know, cause a real friend is gonna wanna support. So, absolutely. Yeah. Thanks for listening in. We hope you hope you, we hope you all. We hope I'm just laughing at her now. She's just like, oh my God. We hope that you found, I know 

[00:35:53] Jess: that. Okay. So we're gonna say that it's definitely tongue tie Friday.

Yeah. For y'all it's gonna be tongue tie Wednesday. Cause that's when we, we drop these. Yeah. So have. Fabulous week, enjoy this. If you do have PMDD or you think you might have some of the symptoms, please reach out, talk to your doctor, talk to your therapist. You don't have to, you know, suffer or struggle in this alone.

[00:36:15] Randi: Yeah. And we'll put up some resources on our blog. Yep. Um, we'll put up some little clips on our YouTube channel and stuff. Oh, we'll show you why 

[00:36:21] Jess: it's called shark week. 

[00:36:22] Randi: Don't forget. 

[00:36:23] Jess: Yeah. Don't that's it's log on. So you can see how a shark brain and a uterus look very similar. 

[00:36:29] Randi: It's literally so interesting.

Okay. All 

[00:36:32] Jess: right. Bye bye. 

[00:36:34] Randi: 1, 2, 3, 4. Thanks for listening and normalizing mental health with us. 

[00:36:39] Jess: Don't forget to check out our free resources and favorites on our website. Unapologetically Randy and jess.com 

[00:36:46] Randi: like, and share this episode and tune in next week.