Episodes

Dec. 20, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance-BMW For Sale- Do Not Open Sunroof!

Smarty Lance has a BMW for Sale. It has a broken sunroof which must never, ever, ever, ever, be opened. A succession of flakey and highly annoying perspective buyers come and go, then, The Law of Attraction, abracadabra's th…
Dec. 18, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance- Oh, Doctor!

Lance goes on a semi-rant about doctors, chiropractors, dentists, and veterinarians. Yes, chiropractors, are doctors, but like veterinarians, they usually go by their first names- Hi, I'm Dr. Bob"- whereas, stuck-up, pretent…
Dec. 16, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance- Locked Out

Lance works a summer job at a radio station inside the dilapidated American Tin Can Factory on Cannery Row. The location included piles of old tin cans, a disgusting bathroom, and a very large daylight work room- which fell …
Dec. 15, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance Dating Apps

Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences with dating apps. Smartphone apps lure you in with profiles of lonely supermodels with PhD's, who speak 10 languages, and lived in thirty nine countries, who don't care…
Dec. 14, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance College Days

Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences in college. Living with a dormmate obsessed with Diana Ross and brushing his long hair, to the Campus Crusade for Christ, to skipping class to play Dungeons and Dragons…
Dec. 9, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance Dog People Versus Cat People

Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes differences between dog and cat owners. Pardon, "guardians." But not of the Galaxy, just pets. A doofus interrupts asking about lizard people. Lance via celebrity impression, defers to…
Dec. 8, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance Extra, Extra!

Smarty Pants Lance humorously describes his experiences as a background artist/extra in the movies, on television, and in music videos. From long, uncompensated hours, to pay which is far less than a pimply-faced teen workin…
Nov. 19, 2021

Smarty Pants Lance Trailer

Need a break from all the blah, blah, blah, of politics, sports, and religion? Smarty Pants Lance is for people who know laughter is the best medicine! In each fast, funny, fifteen minute episode, Lance a long-time lawyer- h…